when i was 8 - 9 i used to think that everything was poisonous and would wash my hands like 20x a day and sometimes if i didn't i would cry because i thought that i was going to die but it only lasted three months. there was also a time when i'd get really scared of a woman in a bat suit that only followed me in family parties so every time i went to a party, you could see me in a nervous wreck. the thing is, the woman in a bat suit was based on a shitty filipino horror movie but still i would just be so scared. i used a lot of sex jokes when i was in grade school and i talked about tits, dick, pussy all the time and i cried when i'd get in trouble
after i pulled charizard and venusaur when i was like 7, from some pokemon tcg packs from xmas, i watched deep blue sea. every time a person would be killed or thought would be killed i'd cry and look at my pokemon cards because protection. my aunt would turn off the movie and i said no ill watch but i cried a lot and i think i sounded like a wolf
after watching deep blue sea, sometimes i'd imagine sharks being in my carpet so i would have a hard time getting out of bed
when i first had my first leg cramp, i thought i was going to die so i cried and looked at a cross because i didn't know what would happen but in the end i just limped around my house and shot rubber bands at action figures
from 11 - 12 i used to be "anorexic" because i thought i looked really fat so i didn't really eat anything and would starve myself. i remember when my sister bought me ice cream and she left. i told her on the phone i didn't want ice cream and she said to take a little but i said no, but at least im losing weight by crying
when i was like 4, when i watched the simpsons, i hypothesized that maybe people in their own states have their own cartoons. shows, and etc., since the simpsons was based in springfield, il and i lived in illinois. so when i'd go on the internet in the future, i'd be like, "wow these people know what cartoons i watched in my own state. i literally thought of states as countries, and countries as planets. i really thought that the world would be really damn big, but i got disappointed in the end. i still am- i imagined so much.
when iw as 3 i wish i was dead
when i was 5 i wished i was dead
when i was ten i wished i was dead
when i was 16 i wished i was dead
when i was 19 i wished i was dead
Quote from: silvertone on May 23, 2012, 03:52:03 PM
when iw as 3 i wish i was dead
when i was 5 i wished i was dead
when i was ten i wished i was dead
when i was 16 i wished i was dead
when i was 19 i wished i was dead
Your childhood sucked.
Quote from: V on May 23, 2012, 05:04:49 PM
Your childhood sucked.
I am not enslaved by nostalgia.
Quote from: silvertone on May 23, 2012, 05:06:32 PM
I am not enslaved by nostalgia.
So you just wished to be dead your whole life?
Your whole life sucks. akudood;
Quote from: V on May 23, 2012, 05:07:33 PM
So you just wished to be dead your whole life?
Your whole life sucks. akudood;
the Past is nothing but death i live for the future...
I used to be afraid of going to the bathroom by myself.
Quote from: silvertone on May 23, 2012, 05:08:52 PM
the Past is nothing but death i live for the future...
das dope
nothing nearly as interesting as that
Quote from: Original_MIB on May 23, 2012, 03:50:56 PM
there was also a time when i'd get really scared of a woman in a bat suit that only followed me in family parties so every time i went to a party, you could see me in a nervous wreck. the thing is, the woman in a bat suit was based on a shitty filipino horror movie but still i would just be so scared.
and wtf lol..
i honestly think original_mib should be a stand-up comic
Quote from: Kana Minami on May 23, 2012, 06:03:30 PM
i honestly think original_mib should be a stand-up comic
why do you think so. because some people have actually encouraged me to do so but im like lolno
also when i was like 16, i found my uncle's viagra in his collection of sports memorbillia or however it's spelled. the thing is, it was a family party for my nephew, and oh my god where i found his viagra was by a HUGE TV that everyone was watching and i know that if i got caught i would be SO FUCKED. though it was in a shady setting b/c of movie. in the end, i stole the whole bottle and then i went to his pool room to get some pills. i took like 8 and then i slowly walked again since im in the front of like some old fucks, they must know the sound of pills in a capsule already so yeah i crept down to his collection and put it there again. and then i shared some with acquaintances and one of them said, "lol wow you should be a stand up comedian lol that would be so funny omg" and i was like lolk
when i came back there it was gone
Quote from: vziard on May 23, 2012, 05:57:06 PM
nothing nearly as interesting as that
and wtf lol..
i got way more lol
why? because this material is gold. you had the most awkward, most unintentionally hilarious childhood i've ever heard.
Quote from: Kana Minami on May 23, 2012, 06:43:08 PM
why? because this material is gold. you had the most awkward, most unintentionally hilarious childhood i've ever heard.
well then
would you like more y/n
Quote from: Original_MIB on May 23, 2012, 06:44:37 PM
well then
would you like more y/n
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
i would read your life story.
Quote from: Travis on May 23, 2012, 07:44:36 PM
i would read your life story.
to be honest, it would be a bit hard for me- for a lot of factors but anyway
Quote from: ,,,-,,, on May 23, 2012, 06:54:25 PM
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
lolk
there's a few that i REALLY want to post but oh my god maybe a bit too personal. these stories...ehh i guess they're kinda...normal...i dunno. tbh didn't have a lot of fun describing these, well for most of them anyway. i think im forgetting some, but ill just post them in a later post.
my parents described me to be like the most peaceful baby, and im like the youngest. i didn't really cry for shit, i would just be all silent and when people looked at me to see if i was ok i was just staring at nothing and just laying down being all chill i guess. the weirdest thing they thought of me doing was when i had my both of my feet and hands up in the air along with a ball, and i'd make the ball roll while moving all of them and my family would be like lol wtf are you doing
one time when my father was pouring me some hawaiian punch i asked myself, "i wonder what would happen if i moved my cup from him." so i did it and i was like in my head, "oh..." and a shitload of juice spilled and my dad glared at me and he said no you don't do that.
when i went to pre-school my teacher gave us a mini booklet of a letter from the alphabet, starting from a. everytime we got one i played with them like dolls, and i'd be so sad if i lost a letter. so when i got everything i was like wow this is p. cook we got a new friend, guys, the letter g and i would voice act in my head with them and i thought they were all so cute. i remember when watching barney i would start making additional booklets, one for each bird, one for each "holiday" and when my parents would come in the room, man you'd see me in the middle of a SHITLOAD of paper, they'd be like lol wtf are you doing clean this up. i made a birds day card, i don't know what the fuck i was doing
fun fact: i also liked halloween so much that i'd love to make pumpkins jackodood;
oh my god, this was so lol to me. one time me and my brother had this HUGE HUGE fight in the bathroom when we were like 5 and he was 6. scratching, blood was like everywhere. i think we fought for the colors red and blue and hot and cold something like that my god i don't know.
one time i put my hand on an iron while it was hot so then i know the feel and i cried
when i was still like 5 or 6, me, my bro, my sis were in the house and i guess she was babysitting us. i remember the macarena playing in the background and all of a sudden we hear a knock on the door. some guy outside of the door just said, "let me in." my brother and sister were scared like shit i guess. but for me...oh god... instead of cowering in the corner like they were, i went up to that door like a badass motherfucker and all i did was say "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RUFF RUFF RUFF" while i was scratching the door and...twisting the door knob. i just wanted to be like a dog and scare ppl. the guy would say, "this is not funny let me in." i remember he had rainbow colored hair and was in black leather (seriously) when i'd look up in the hole thing of my door with a chair. then after my parents came we saw him go in a policecar sometime after they came and my mom and aunt were like "wow you guys are lucky" or something lol that was fun like shit
sometimes my aunt would like to baby sit me and my cousin. so sometimes, we'd all be on the same bed together and when we had to take a nap, that's when i started getting rebellious. like i was against the wall while she was blocking our only way to get out. so when we would try to get out she would move her legs and oh my god she moved the so fast i mean it's like we're fighting a squid and her legs would be every where and sometimes i'd give up and that's when we went to sleep god what a bitch. man those legs were like lv. 100 tier imo
one time, there was this halloween party. i wanted to be a squirtle so i colored some toilet paper blue with a marker but then i realized i didn't have a costume. so instead i just had to be a pumpkin, my cousin also had to be a pumpkin. now, this halloween party was public, mainly for kids. i think it was like 10pm. all but my mom went to the party. when we entered there'd be like flashing lights and instead of me being scared i'd be like wtf is this. anyway, later into the party, we noticed my brother was missing. everyone in my family but my mom was like "lol...wtf." so while all of the adults were worrying, me and my cousin would be like all calm and i dunno why the fuck i wasn't worried. now, we lived in the "ghetto" side of chicago, so this was like a big thing for my family b/c ghetto. you know...i haven't even described my brother's costume. he was a cow. with authentic udders. so anyway we drove all around to our aunts and uncle's houses b/c i don't know. and when we went home to give the news to my mom that he was missing, we found him and we were like "how'd you come back home?" he said, "i ran home because i was scared." note that he was only 6, so him KNOWING how to get back from this place a few miles away was like lolwtf, imo. my mom laughed and said when she opened the door she laughed and she got him a cup of milk and he played video games. my sister's friends said that they lol'd when they saw him walking in the ghetto with a cow costume. in the end, he won a board game for the best costume in the party. but we didn't rly think it was so fun so we played mega man x on our snes and tried to get the heart in the flaming elephant's stage or w/e his name is.
i don't know why, but one time. i thought it would be nice to break pencils one day. my mom came in and said what are you doing. i said i am breaking pencils. so she went to get her hitting stick and she came back. she hit me. i cried but i broke another one. then we all laughed
i remember when it was my sister's 13th birthday party, or maybe graduation from 8th grade. i was like 5 years old. anyway, we had some block party. i think this song was playing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNAOW-uNUdE . to continue on, all the neighborhood kids would be in our place. i don't know how to describe it, but we had the party in our backyard. we lived in the basement of how many fucking floors there were on this apartment. anyway there'd be some people playing with the reflections of their cd's to the sun to give it some mirror ball effect, all from like the 2nd floor patio. now, since i lived in the basement, i'd challenge myself to see how many floors i could go up without being scared. i never got to the roof before. but anyway, some dumbfuck kicks the ball over the whole fucking place. with me being a badass i was like, "hey! ill go!" people were like no no don't do it but i went on anyways. now...getting to past the second floor of this apartment, i was scared as shit- but tried to make my fears numbed down. as i ran up, i saw an old couple and a green door, and they were watching another old couple on tv, on some couch with flowers. i don't know why i remembered that, but i know i was pretty fucking high up this building if i never saw them. so past seven floors, i get up to the roof. the ball was going to go over. BUT. hahahahah but...it rolled over A FUCKING PLANK TO THE NEXT BUILDING. A SINGLE, FUCKING PLANK. now i was like in my head, "bring it bitch." people down at the floor were like "oh my god marc don't do it" but i did it because i wanted to, and oh my god i got PAST THE FUCKING PLANK. man. seriously, one, skinny plank, like a 2 by 4 maybe. anyway, now i was on top of a bar. and lol i got the ball before it went over. when i realized where the fuck i was i was like, "lol wtf is this, so many rooftops where the fuck am i. i went to the edge of the room and was like, "woah." seeing somethings from so far up, and some cars going past me. i compare it to that time in super mario rpg when mario looks at bowser's castle after it got fucked up by a dildo sword. so anyway when i got the ball the kids were like, "WHOO YEAHHH." and when i went on the plank they went like"OH GOD DON'T DO IT, MAN." but i did. in the end, some people said i was crazy. in that same party, people were playing with some ouja board. i saw that there was some ashes on it, wtf were they using it for. so in the party, i wanted to impress some of my sister's friends, so one time i said, "hey guys look at what i can do" and i was like "think fast marc." so i took some dead leaves and tried to eat them but i ended up spitting them. i think the guys said cool or something. i also drank some beer from a beer bottle since i thought it was apple juice. and ever since then, i think i've been drunk.
so going a little later, i'd turn 7, and i'd move to the suburbs. when i went started my first day it was weird because i used to go into some private school or something and shit was different there. when the teacher said okay it's lunch time. and everyone got something called a yellow ticket or they just had their own lunch. when i realized i didn't know wtf to do, i cried in front of everyone because i didn't know how to get lunch
im tired of writing but for the next ones....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY GOD. this is when shit starts to flip, imo. oh my god. tbh, i laugh like fuck when i remember the next things im going post. just WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
ill take a break b/c i want to
i'm in stitches
Are you mentally handicapped in any kind of way?
Quote from: Fuck on May 23, 2012, 10:26:42 PM
Are you mentally handicapped in any kind of way?
uhh i take pills for depression and add but that's all
i know a lot of these things may sound dumb like fuck, but man, i fucking love remembering dumb shit
Quote from: Original_MIB on May 23, 2012, 06:41:46 PM
why do you think so. because some people have actually encouraged me to do so but im like lolno
also when i was like 16, i found my uncle's viagra in his collection of sports memorbillia or however it's spelled. the thing is, it was a family party for my nephew, and oh my god where i found his viagra was by a HUGE TV that everyone was watching and i know that if i got caught i would be SO FUCKED. though it was in a shady setting b/c of movie. in the end, i stole the whole bottle and then i went to his pool room to get some pills. i took like 8 and then i slowly walked again since im in the front of like some old fucks, they must know the sound of pills in a capsule already so yeah i crept down to his collection and put it there again. and then i shared some with acquaintances and one of them said, "lol wow you should be a stand up comedian lol that would be so funny omg" and i was like lolk
when i came back there it was gone
THIS STORY MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE I'M CRYING FROM THE HILARITY
of course the viagra would be next to a HUGE TV
oh my god i can't breathe
i cried, i drooled on myself
post of the year right there mib
Quote from: Original_MIB on May 23, 2012, 09:08:00 PM
i don't know why, but one time. i thought it would be nice to break pencils one day. my mom came in and said what are you doing. i said i am breaking pencils. so she went to get her hitting stick and she came back. she hit me. i cried but i broke another one. then we all laughed
oh my god i'm dying
i kind of wanted to share some stuff but not anymore because this thread is yours now
holy shit
i like the ones in the first post the most still
the bat lady one still gets me so hard
and looking at pokemon cards for protection
my favorite are the viagra and bat lady ones
Quote from: Kana Minami on May 24, 2012, 01:49:00 AM
the bat lady one still gets me so hard
wow i could have worded this better
Quote from: Kana Minami on May 24, 2012, 01:55:54 AM
wow i could have worded this better
i couldn't decide whether or not it was intentional lol
Quote from: Sudoroodo on May 24, 2012, 01:58:38 AM
i couldn't decide whether or not it was intentional lol
i wish it was
PART TWO - the suburbs
Well, I can't think of the stories that I want to describe...so maybe some fillers.
so as we settled down in my new home, i went outside to play with some kids. now, there'd be a lot of fucking kids.
i think when i was like 8, some new guy moves in a few months after we moved here. this guy's name, ill nickname him as "seed." and he was a pretty nice guy until some of us were like, "his parents look like they came from india...his house smells like shit, fucking curry" so yeah there was a made up insult exclusive for him, and it was "ghandi-licka." i think the "licka" was added because we liked how we flicked off the a-sound when we said it, and plus it sounded gangster to us. i didn't even know what it meant but i called him it. and so one day, we all decide to chase him down with sticks. it was a fucking stampede. at lest fifteen to twenty kids looking out for this guy. i was pansy as shit so i'd take a lot of breaks, and when i'd see like four to five people chasing him i would just laugh because i just thought of this being funny as shit, and i wasn't even serious about this whole ghandi-licka thing, it was just like the whole town chasing a kid b/c he stole some bread or something, but instead people just hate him for no true reason at all. no harm was actually done, except emotional scarring for him. i was such a dick. i don't even think this story can be made into a good scene just by these words. i compare it to when the hyenas were on a rampage in the first lion king before scar killed mufasa. i mean it was that chaotic.
one day when it was 4th of july, i saw some people that looked pretty old, like in their 20's. so since i wanted to look cool, i took some popplers and then i went to them. i threw them up in the air and when they came down one guy was like woah dude. and i felt so manly
so i remember buying those pokeballs with pokemon figurines in them. i'd take out the figures because i liked them but man...the most interactive i got with the toys, were the pokeballs. i used to throw them my bird cage, in an open field trying imagine me throwing it at a pokemon but instead it would be a tree. they got so damaged that i would use tape on them so they could last.
since i was an attention whore, i wanted to get a reputation for something. so sometimes kids would dare me to lick things. i licked car windows and grinded rocks
so when the mummy movie came out, and when i saw the scene of some black bugs going inside of a guy and then eating him from the inside out, i asked myself if this was real. in the neighborhood, there would be a grand premier of...lifting heavy stones so some bugs can crawl out. this one bug in particular caught the eyes of an indian girl. the bug was light red, and it was like the shape of an adult cockdick. she said "wow i read in books that they can go inside your body and kill you." she was in the same grade as me. so when we'd lift rocks and then saw the bug gone, i would run on concrete to feel safe and everytime i felt something crawling under my skin i thought i was going to die
fuck this ill take a break
i love your grammar and syntax mib AWESOME
Where did you live in Chicago? I live at 34th and Union. Before that 33rd and Lowe. Before that 33rd and Wabash.
Quote from: applesauce on May 24, 2012, 04:38:43 PM
Where did you live in Chicago? I live at 34th and Union. Before that 33rd and Lowe. Before that 33rd and Wabash.
Clark and Hollywood. We lived kinda far from each other but manageable.
In the story where I mentioned me going up seven floors, it really wasn't seven floors, but when I was younger, shit was just so big to me, so yeah. Maybe it was originally three floors, six flights of stairs.
I plan to visit there sometime, but not soon.
you were raised thinking edgewater was ghetto? O_0
Quote from: applesauce on May 24, 2012, 05:41:38 PM
you were raised thinking edgewater was ghetto? O_0
i was just joking about the ghetto part. maybe i should have added quotation marks. but really, we had a shitload of trouble with nearby gangs, that's why we moved from chicago. it goes more deeper, but i don't think i have the right to say shit, since it doesn't truly involve me
we also moved like 3x in chicago so im not sure if we stayed around clark and hollywood
Quote from: Original_MIB on May 23, 2012, 09:08:00 PM
one time when my father was pouring me some hawaiian punch i asked myself, "i wonder what would happen if i moved my cup from him." so i did it and i was like in my head, "oh..." and a shitload of juice spilled and my dad glared at me and he said no you don't do that.
Quote from: Original_MIB on May 23, 2012, 09:08:00 PM
i don't know why, but one time. i thought it would be nice to break pencils one day. my mom came in and said what are you doing. i said i am breaking pencils. so she went to get her hitting stick and she came back. she hit me. i cried but i broke another one. then we all laughed
Quote from: Original_MIB on May 23, 2012, 09:08:00 PM
so going a little later, i'd turn 7, and i'd move to the suburbs. when i went started my first day it was weird because i used to go into some private school or something and shit was different there. when the teacher said okay it's lunch time. and everyone got something called a yellow ticket or they just had their own lunch. when i realized i didn't know wtf to do, i cried in front of everyone because i didn't know how to get lunch
God dammit. This is the best post on Boyah I've read in years.
ORIGINAL_MIB, BRINGING QUALITY BACK TO BOYAH.
this just might be my most favorite thread ever lol
At least you didn't get silly putty thrown at you.
Quote from: Geno on May 24, 2012, 06:44:43 PM
At least you didn't get silly putty thrown at you.
one time i was like 10, there was a black person and he was hanging out with some other people at the back patio of a townouse home. now, this guy was known for being in juvie and etc. and ill nickname him "infinity" because i usually thought his nostrils made the biggest infinity sign ive ever seen on a face. so while i was talking home, i saw them, since my back patio faced the back patio they were on. it was p. silent and then infinity had a bat and all of a sudden he breaks the glass screen door of that place and they all ran. i told the cops that infinity did it, and i think i saw him when he was being escorted into a police car. few weeks later, all the guys realized he came back. he wanted to beat the shit out of me. man, i hid at an acquaintance's house and i remember him saying that he saw infinity and i will never forget how wide that shadow was when he went past. i confirmed it was him after i saw his back and the folds on his neck.
man it was like the night followed where ever he was, and i sure fucking know how that went like.
FUCK IT, I'll post any story from any fucking time.
HORRORS FROM THE DEEP
okay so, 9 - 14, there was this guy in our neighborhood that everyone called "gaygirl" because- fuck it. man, i felt sorry for this guy, because he was deprived of so much shit, and man...i was just such a bad person to this guy. man, all you gotta know is that his family was pretty much born in the WRONG fucking century. scariest fucking family i ever met. god damn i don't even know how to describe it. but damn. every time i went to their house, it felt like this family was hiding bodies under their house. their house...was fucking odd as shit. man, i can't even fucking compare this shit to whatever has been on the internet- it was that fucked up to me. gaygirl and his family was just really damn odd. i can't even type what i want to describe about them. this whole family...i just don't fucking know. the kids...they didn't even look like kids. it's like somebody fucking sucked the living out of them. their parents, too. the only one who seemed "normal" out of them, was the oldest sister- who looked the youngest out of all of them, even the toddler. just really damn weird to me.
they moved out. but when i think of them and their house now, i imagine a land mark of dead gay dead prostitutes buried under their house with large triangle carved on each their backs, a dead baby frog in a plastic cookie jar, buried under thousands of beyblades, vhs tapes, few dvds, warioland games, a rock, organic nachos, a computer with windows 95, a rocking chair from the mid 1800's, and a secret door to the time and place similar to little house on the prairie.
oh, and a bin of plastic underwear.
Get them to join
eat my boogers 5thgrade;
oh my god i was such a dipshit my god
so when i was 9, and it was the summer, so me and my brother went to my aunt's house, and i have three cousins. two girls that are i think 12 and 13, and one boy that was 8. ill call them |a|, |b|, and |c| now, we came here to just hang with |c| because we had fun with him and his sisters were okay i guess
so one time my aunt told |a| to cook some food for breakfast while she went somewhere or something. i don't know what |a| was cooking, but she put some fluid into a pot while it was heating and a HUGE HUGE FIRE CAME OUT and i said "WOAH." loud then everyone gave me a glare and i cried. i mean that was like a huge huge fire
so it was dinner time one night, and my aunt cooked some food. everyone knew in the family that i cried a shitload of times, and umm so i ate some chicken and all of a sudden |b| was giving me a glare. instead of eating i went upstairs and i cried because i thought she was being mean.
one day were were cleaning around the house, and i dropped a radio. |a| said "oh my god that was new i got it five months ago" and i said "well it was five months ago..." i ran into my aunt's room and i cried. so my aunt got both me to face her and i said "i..i.. im sor-" and then i cried again and didn't finish the apology
uhh so we had to go to the store to buy groceries. and i had like $2 on me and i bought a snicker's ice cream bar. |c| found out and he said, "ooh you have ice cream im going to tell" and i said no ill give you half if you don't tell and he agreed. when we went home i noticed the ice cream was melting and then my aunt called down |c| to help her with something. it was melting badly so i just ate it all. i felt guilt afterwards but at least i didn't cry
okay so in this story i was 7, it was winter, and i was at my bus stop in the morning. now i was bullied for i don't know why. the "higher ups," like four fourth/fifth graders were throwing snowballs at me and one of them hit me on my cheek so hard and holy shit it was huge. i cried in the middle of all of us elementary kids and this was like the loudest i've ever cried oh my god. that snowball i bet was made out of rocks and ice. i went into the bus like this, and when we got to school some other really cool fourth grader was like "oh this guy did it" i mean i couldn't figure out who specifically threw the snowball at me when i was trying to dodge four kids throwing snowballs at me while trying to cover my face. after that day i went to the bus stop and my mom came and said "don't bother my kid okay" and i kissed her when i left
now it was easter, same year, i was 7. i was at the same aunt's house i've been mentioning in here, and there was an easter party. it was night so at the end of it i think one of my aunts said "okay you guys have to dance for your candy and go" i didn't know how to dance so i cried and my aunts were like why are you crying. i brought up the snowball incident because i was to embarrassed of not dancing
so fast forward until i was 15, the same cousins were moving out of their old house and into a new one. |a| was driving me, my bro, and the other two cousins. |a| said "okay so we only have like 10min to get the rest of the stuff in the old house." so i said "okay ill do it in 20" like straight-forward and i don't know where the fuck that came from. |a| turned around and made a face as if she was angrily gasping and said UGH while me and my cousin laughed. because every1 knows im lazy as shit lol that was fun
i wonder why others haven't posted some stories yet
Quote from: Original_MIB on May 25, 2012, 02:36:43 PM
i wonder why others haven't posted some stories yet
because we don't want to ruin this thread
Quote from: Colonel Cold on the Cob on May 25, 2012, 02:42:59 PM
because we don't want to ruin this thread
maybe others have better stories
I assure you we do not
god you guys must have had boring childhoods or just dont wanna post huhdoodame;
or something
Quote from: Colonel Cold on the Cob on May 25, 2012, 01:56:54 PM
Get them to join
they almost have no connection with anybody as far as i know
REMAKE:
apples in the night
so one time when i was 9 and it was like 10:30 in the night, a school night. i got sleepy and then my pa (okay, i call him papa instead b/c habit but i usually call him pa for short.) said you must eat this apple. and i asked why, he said that i should be eating apples right now but i disagreed. so he said if you don't finish this apple then you're not going to sleep then. i was like "fine." so he gave me an apple and i stared at it for like 10min until i finally got brave enough to take a bite. but it was so huge for my mouth imo that i didn't know how to eat it but i took a little bite anyway and ate 1/8 of a centimeter of it or something. i looked up to pa and he was glaring at me with a frown. so he took the apple and went in the kitchen and cut it into slices. then he said here, now just eat one slice and then you can go to bed. i was like in my head "wow this is so small compared to being a whole wow i am so going to eat this to get it over with." so i took a bite and i chewed. a millisecond after putting it in my mouth i cried, ran into the bathroom, threw it up and i cried more. and pa said fine ok you can go to bed and i woke up with dried tears
i haven't ate plant food ever since that time
so brave
...plant food
plant food
Quote from: Fuck on May 26, 2012, 08:32:59 PM
...plant food
plant food
yeah
so what
anyway
when i was 6 and watching pokemon in the morning when misty's starmie was fighting, i had homework that was supposed to be due that day. the assignment? make a poem. i asked my mom what's a poem. she said what, a pome? i said no mom i meant a poem. she said pome? again and i got angry and said no mom it's a poem! i cried because i didn't know what a poem was and my mom can only contribute pomes. many years later, i realized that she had a thick accent and maybe she was saying poem but like pome. god i was so bad
in third grade everybody liked using the word gay and then one of my classmates came up to me and she asked "are you gay y\n" and i didn't know what gay meant so i was like "yes" and everybody was like "lol marc is gay." that rumor stopped in 7th grade
in fourth grade, when i was 10, i heard some guys in my classroom saying "wow lol i saw some girls tits sometime and it was awesome" or something like that. so i was like in my head..."maybe i can be more popular if i saw some tits." so like weeks later after that, i had to go down stairs to tell my sister about a chore or something and when i moved her curtains i saw my sister's tits and she was like :o and she slapped me and i cried. the next day i was like "hey i saw my sister's tits" and people were like "eww you're nasty you wanna fuck your sister?" and then i realized incest wasn't accepted a few years later
so when i was like 10 - 12, somewhere around that time i was upstairs and my mom called me from the bottom of the stairs and she yelled can you bring a --a? (the a pronounced like "ah.") and i said ok. when i came back i said bra? and i held it up to emphasize. she said no, A BRA. and i said mom this is a bra. she got more angry and she said NO I MEAN A BRA. and i didn't know what to do so i cried. but then i realized in my head..."two things in the bathroom kinda sound the same...and my mom has a shit accent sometimes...OH, MAYBE IT'S THIS!!!" and i grabbed it. i wiped my tears but i was still scared of my mom and i didn't say anything but showed the pot more higher and she was like "...yes, marc..." and i smiled because i got it right and that i didn't have to deal w/ it anymore
i told the next story a few years ago but ill tell it again
a year later, when i turned 13. it was like halloween and me and my brother decided to go to like some "rich" part of the suburbs to get candy and the curfew was supposed to be 8pm but it was like 10:30pm. when we were walking to my uncle's house, i was a few steps farther from my brother and everything was silent until i heard "marc...run..." i looked behind me and i saw a skeleton and my brother on the floor with another skeleton or something and it was trying to steal my candy and we played tugawar with it. too bad i fell down and i got a plastic handle from it and as soon as they got both of our candy a car pulled up behind us and we were trying to get at them but they were running away somewhere else and i yelled "you guys suck" when i fell down earlier i actually had a leg cramp but i was so pissed that i didn't give a shit about the pain. we walked into my uncles house and a family friend was there and said "wow if i were you i would have kicked his ass" and i was like in my head "yeah ok" then my mom bought us candy in the end. now, i laugh at my brother saying "marc...run..."
when i was 8, my mom said that i was adopted and i cried. i think i saw my mom with a smirk and now when i confront my mom about this, we both laugh
i think i was 10, but anyway, i remember packing up clothes in garbage bags. maybe about 4 - 6 bags. we went driving and like 20min later, i realized that ive never seen any of these places before. so i asked my mom, where are we going. she said we're running away and i asked why and i cried for 30min until i saw salvation army. and then i smiled
i abused animals when i was younger
and hurt other kids lol
mib's parents are the best pranksters
Put my fingers in my butt.
Is it weird to say pome for poem instead of poh-em?
Quote from: NDDR on July 28, 2012, 05:59:27 PM
Is it weird to say pome for poem instead of poh-em?
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/poem
merriam webster curiously has that pronunciation listed
when i was still 10, i used to make sex jokes. then a rumor was made that i liked to be naked when im alone. lol i really don't remember saying that, so somebody told the teacher that i said that i liked being naked when im alone. so i got sent to the office and i cried. then i thought that if i cried harder, i could get out of the office faster. so i cried so loud that i saw one of the receptionists with a :/ expression. when i got back into the class, my teacher said, "see when you say something bad in the past it can come back to bite you" in my head i was like "i didn't do it though"
i still laugh at this when looking back
Quote from: NDDR on July 28, 2012, 05:59:27 PM
Is it weird to say pome for poem instead of poh-em?
I say pome.
I don't know what kind of accent MIB's mom has, but hawaii is very asian influenced. I wonder if that had something to do with it.
Also, I thought pome was largely used.
I say pome too and there was no Asian infuence :O
why would you get in trouble for liking to be naked
when you're aloneeveryone likes to be naked when they're alone
Quote from: Norwegian Lesbians on July 28, 2012, 05:18:03 PM
Put my fingers in my butt.
i still do this
making shakespearean insults at my teachers
Quote from: Patsy Stone on July 28, 2012, 11:25:23 PM
making shakespearean insults at my teachers
Did you bit your thumb at her?
Quote from: Kana Minami on July 28, 2012, 11:12:14 PM
agreed
I can't imagine a Minnesotan saying poh-ehm befuddlement
Quote from: NDDR on July 28, 2012, 11:31:25 PM
I can't imagine a Minnesotan saying poh-ehm befuddlement
nobody says that lol
I say poh-uhm
my 6 y/o self will never forgive you pome sayers
Quote from: Creep Scanner on July 29, 2012, 12:38:38 AM
nobody says that lol
I say poh-uhm
i don't understand the difference
this was my mom's story:
so when my mom was in the philippines, she had a pet monkey while going to college there. it woke her up every morning to get her ready it and it said "kekekekekekekeke." sometimes when my mom fed him, he would spread the rice all over his face so then he can pick at it when he was hungry in the future. one time, he was sucking his own tee tee and my mom said, "no don't suck on your tee tee!!!" she cut up some jalepeños and spread them all over his dick and when it tried to suck on it, it went crazy and it went like, "kekekekekeke." one of her cousins came and said "what did you do." and my mom said, "it was sucking on his tee tee." at one point, my mom's sister said to her family that having a monkey in the house is bad luck.
soon after that, my mom came home from school one day and she couldn't find her monkey. one of her parents said, "it's right here." they cooked him and put him on a plate. my mom cried so badly and said she'll never forget this
Was it served with jalapenos
were they spicy tears
Quote from: [23]crossdressers on May 23, 2012, 05:08:52 PM
Quote from: V on May 23, 2012, 05:07:33 PM
So you just wished to be dead your whole life?
Your whole life sucks. akudood;
the Past is nothing but death i live for the future...
Forget about tomorrow, for tomorrow never comes.
When I was 17, I discovered shortwave radio.
And I still enjoy it.
so i think i was 10 when this happened but when i was in elementary school, 4th grade, i fell down in a small creek during recess and i had to change my pants but i never could get the zipper up because the jeans were too tight for me. later on we went to an assembly and i think one of the middle schools' bands were playing. i told one of my teachers that i couldn't get my pants to go up so she called the principal. for a few minutes he was trying to zip my pants up and i looked at my back and people were just staring @me and him. like he really tried hard but he never succeeded. so my zipper was down for the whole day. now i realize that it must have looked really odd doing it in front of such a large crowd
what a day
Quote from: The Last MIB on April 24, 2013, 05:01:00 PM
so i think i was 10 when this happened but when i was in elementary school, 4th grade, i fell down in small creek during recess and i had to change my pants but i never could get the zipper up because the jeans were too tight for me. later on we went to an assembly and i think one of the middle schools' bands were playing. i told one of my teachers that i couldn't get my pants to go up so she called the principal. for a few minutes he was trying to zip my pants up and i looked at my back and people were just staring @me and him. like he really tried hard but he never succeeded. so my zipper was down for the whole day. now i realize that it must have looked really odd doing it in front of such a large crowd
what a day
did he use his mouth?
Buttfukd hoes n sluts
Quote from: The Last MIB on April 24, 2013, 05:01:00 PM
so i think i was 10 when this happened but when i was in elementary school, 4th grade, i fell down in small creek during recess and i had to change my pants but i never could get the zipper up because the jeans were too tight for me. later on we went to an assembly and i think one of the middle schools' bands were playing. i told one of my teachers that i couldn't get my pants to go up so she called the principal. for a few minutes he was trying to zip my pants up and i looked at my back and people were just staring @me and him. like he really tried hard but he never succeeded. so my zipper was down for the whole day. now i realize that it must have looked really odd doing it in front of such a large crowd
what a day
lmao
Quote from: Andria on April 25, 2013, 02:37:58 PM
did he use his mouth?
i think at one point he bent down
so i was talking to a brofessor abouyt shiet- like shit when i was younger just for the hell of it
and all of a sudden i remembered something
lol so it was seventh grade- i think i was 13 y/o or even 12 idk. anyway i was some weak wangster. like, i would try to wear some low tier shit like ecko and some south pole, listening to rap music. and i was deemed to be the "black asian" to a few people as well.
it was about that time for standardized testing. i was like in a "i don't give a fuk" mood. so you know what i did? i did an english standardized test in ebonics. oh my god i had lowercased letters, i was replacing T's with D's, s' with z', and "and" with "n'."
i think i got like a 7 out of n/a. lol what was i thinking
oh my god the english department must have been shitting themselves
now with english im p. good at it. like, i got some A- in some really tough english ii course that required citations and academic sources with transitions and shit. one of the few people who got an A :3