things you did when you were younger

[6M69I69B9]

i would read your life story.

to be honest, it would be a bit hard for me- for a lot of factors but anyway

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

lolk

there's a few that i REALLY want to post but oh my god maybe a bit too personal.  these stories...ehh i guess they're kinda...normal...i dunno.  tbh didn't have a lot of fun describing these, well for most of them anyway.  i think im forgetting some, but ill just post them in a later post.  

my parents described me to be like the most peaceful baby, and im like the youngest.  i didn't really cry for shit, i would just be all silent and when people looked at me to see if i was ok i was just staring at nothing and just laying down being all chill i guess.  the weirdest thing they thought of me doing was when i had my both of my feet and hands up in the air along with a ball, and i'd make the ball roll while moving all of them and my family would be like lol wtf are you doing

one time when my father was pouring me some hawaiian punch i asked myself, "i wonder what would happen if i moved my cup from him."  so i did it and i was like in my head, "oh..."  and a shitload of juice spilled and my dad glared at me and he said no you don't do that.  

when i went to pre-school my teacher gave us a mini booklet of a letter from the alphabet, starting from a.  everytime we got one i played with them like dolls, and i'd be so sad if i lost a letter.  so when i got everything i was like wow this is p. cook we got a new friend, guys, the letter g and i would voice act in my head with them and i thought they were all so cute.  i remember when watching barney i would start making additional booklets, one for each bird, one for each "holiday" and when my parents would come in the room, man you'd see me in the middle of a SHITLOAD of paper, they'd be like lol wtf are you doing clean this up.  i made a birds day card, i don't know what the fuck i was doing

fun fact: i also liked halloween so much that i'd love to make pumpkins  

oh my god, this was so lol to me.  one time me and my brother had this HUGE HUGE fight in the bathroom when we were like 5 and he was 6.  scratching, blood was like everywhere.  i think we fought for the colors red and blue and hot and cold something like that my god i don't know.  

one time i put my hand on an iron while it was hot so then i know the feel and i cried

when i was still like 5 or 6, me, my bro, my sis were in the house and i guess she was babysitting us.  i remember the macarena playing in the background and all of a sudden we hear a knock on the door.  some guy outside of the door just said, "let me in."  my brother and sister were scared like shit i guess.  but for me...oh god...  instead of cowering in the corner like they were, i went up to that door like a motherfucker and all i did was say "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RUFF RUFF RUFF" while i was scratching the door and...twisting the door knob.  i just wanted to be like a dog and scare ppl.  the guy would say, "this is not funny let me in."  i remember he had rainbow colored hair and was in black leather (seriously) when i'd look up in the hole thing of my door with a chair.  then after my parents came we saw him go in a policecar sometime after they came and my mom and aunt were like "wow you guys are lucky" or something lol that was fun like shit

sometimes my aunt would like to baby sit me and my cousin.  so sometimes, we'd all be on the same bed together and when we had to take a nap, that's when i started getting rebellious.  like i was against the wall while she was blocking our only way to get out.  so when we would try to get out she would move her legs and oh my god she moved the so fast i mean it's like we're fighting a squid and her legs would be every where and sometimes i'd give up and that's when we went to sleep god what a bitch.  man those legs were like lv. 100 tier imo

one time, there was this halloween party.  i wanted to be a squirtle so i colored some toilet paper blue with a marker but then i realized i didn't have a costume.  so instead i just had to be a pumpkin, my cousin also had to be a pumpkin.  now, this halloween party was public, mainly for kids.  i think it was like 10pm.  all but my mom went to the party.  when we entered there'd be like flashing lights and instead of me being scared i'd be like wtf is this.  anyway, later into the party, we noticed my brother was missing.  everyone in my family but my mom was like "lol...wtf."  so while all of the adults were worrying, me and my cousin would be like all calm and i dunno why the fuck i wasn't worried.  now, we lived in the "ghetto" side of chicago, so this was like a big thing for my family b/c ghetto.  you know...i haven't even described my brother's costume.  he was a cow.  with authentic udders.  so anyway we drove all around to our aunts and uncle's houses b/c i don't know.  and when we went home to give the news to my mom that he was missing, we found him and we were like "how'd you come back home?"  he said, "i ran home because i was scared."  note that he was only 6, so him KNOWING how to get back from this place a few miles away was like lolwtf, imo.  my mom laughed and said when she opened the door she laughed and she got him a cup of milk and he played video games.  my sister's friends said that they lol'd when they saw him walking in the ghetto with a cow costume.  in the end, he won a board game for the best costume in the party.  but we didn't rly think it was so fun so we played mega man x on our snes and tried to get the heart in the flaming elephant's stage or w/e his name is.        

i don't know why, but one time.  i thought it would be nice to break pencils one day.  my mom came in and said what are you doing.  i said i am breaking pencils.  so she went to get her hitting stick and she came back.  she hit me.  i cried but i broke another one.  then we all laughed

i remember when it was my sister's 13th birthday party, or maybe graduation from 8th grade.  i was like 5 years old.  anyway, we had some block party.  i think this song was playing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNAOW-uNUdE . to continue on, all the neighborhood kids would be in our place.  i don't know how to describe it, but we had the party in our backyard.  we lived in the basement of how many fucking floors there were on this apartment.  anyway there'd be some people playing with the reflections of their cd's to the sun to give it some mirror ball effect, all from like the 2nd floor patio.  now, since i lived in the basement, i'd challenge myself to see how many floors i could go up without being scared.  i never got to the roof before.  but anyway, some dumbfuck kicks the ball over the whole fucking place.  with me being a i was like, "hey! ill go!"  people were like no no don't do it but i went on anyways.  now...getting to past the second floor of this apartment, i was scared as shit- but tried to make my fears numbed down.  as i ran up, i saw an old couple and a green door, and they were watching another old couple on tv, on some couch with flowers.  i don't know why i remembered that, but i know i was pretty fucking high up this building if i never saw them.  so past seven floors, i get up to the roof.  the ball was going to go over.  BUT.  hahahahah but...it rolled over A FUCKING PLANK TO THE NEXT BUILDING.  A SINGLE, FUCKING PLANK.  now i was like in my head, "bring it bitch."  people down at the floor were like "oh my god marc don't do it"  but i did it because i wanted to, and oh my god i got PAST THE FUCKING PLANK.  man.  seriously, one, skinny plank, like a 2 by 4 maybe.  anyway, now i was on top of a bar.  and lol i got the ball before it went over.  when i realized where the fuck i was i was like, "lol wtf is this, so many rooftops where the fuck am i.  i went to the edge of the room and was like, "woah."  seeing somethings from so far up, and some cars going past me.  i compare it to that time in super mario rpg when mario looks at bowser's castle after it got fucked up by a dildo sword.  so anyway when i got the ball the kids were like, "WHOO YEAHHH."  and when i went on the plank they went like"OH GOD DON'T DO IT, MAN."  but i did.  in the end, some people said i was crazy.  in that same party, people were playing with some ouja board.  i saw that there was some ashes on it, wtf were they using it for.  so in the party, i wanted to impress some of my sister's friends, so one time i said, "hey guys look at what i can do" and i was like "think fast marc." so i took some dead leaves and tried to eat them but i ended up spitting them.  i think the guys said cool or something.  i also drank some beer from a beer bottle since i thought it was apple juice.  and ever since then, i think i've been drunk.  

so going a little later, i'd turn 7, and i'd move to the suburbs.  when i went started my first day it was weird because i used to go into some private school or something and shit was different there.  when the teacher said okay it's lunch time.  and everyone got something called a yellow ticket or they just had their own lunch.  when i realized i didn't know wtf to do, i cried in front of everyone because i didn't know how to get lunch

im tired of writing but for the next ones....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY GOD.  this is when shit starts to flip, imo. oh my god.  tbh, i laugh like fuck when i remember the next things im going post.  just WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.    

ill take a break b/c i want to

[Travis]

i'm in stitches

[Nyerp]

Are you mentally handicapped in any kind of way?

[6M69I69B9]

Are you mentally handicapped in any kind of way?

uhh i take pills for depression and add but that's all

i know a lot of these things may sound dumb like fuck, but man, i fucking love remembering dumb shit

[Hiro]

why do you think so.  because some people have actually encouraged me to do so but im like lolno

also when i was like 16, i found my uncle's viagra in his collection of sports memorbillia or however it's spelled.  the thing is, it was a family party for my nephew, and oh my god where i found his viagra was by a HUGE TV that everyone was watching and i know that if i got caught i would be SO FUCKED.  though it was in a shady setting b/c of movie.  in the end, i stole the whole bottle and then i went to his pool room to get some pills.  i took like 8 and then i slowly walked again since im in the front of like some old fucks, they must know the sound of pills in a capsule already so yeah i crept down to his collection and put it there again.  and then i shared some with acquaintances and one of them said, "lol wow you should be a stand up comedian lol that would be so funny omg" and i was like lolk

when i came back there it was gone

THIS STORY MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE I'M CRYING FROM THE HILARITY

[Samus Aran]

of course the viagra would be next to a HUGE TV

[Hiro]

oh my god i can't breathe
i cried, i drooled on myself
post of the year right there mib

[Mando Pandango]

i don't know why, but one time.  i thought it would be nice to break pencils one day.  my mom came in and said what are you doing.  i said i am breaking pencils.  so she went to get her hitting stick and she came back.  she hit me.  i cried but i broke another one.  then we all laughed

oh my god i'm dying

i kind of wanted to share some stuff but not anymore because this thread is yours now

holy shit

[Samus Aran]

i like the ones in the first post the most still

the bat lady one still gets me so hard

and looking at pokemon cards for protection

[Kalahari Inkantation]

my favorite are the viagra and bat lady ones

[Samus Aran]

the bat lady one still gets me so hard

wow i could have worded this better

[Kalahari Inkantation]

wow i could have worded this better

i couldn't decide whether or not it was intentional lol

[Samus Aran]

i couldn't decide whether or not it was intentional lol

i wish it was

[6M69I69B9]

PART TWO - the suburbs

Well, I can't think of the stories that I want to describe...so maybe some fillers.

so as we settled down in my new home, i went outside to play with some kids.  now, there'd be a lot of fucking kids.  

i think when i was like 8, some new guy moves in a few months after we moved here.  this guy's name, ill nickname him as "seed."  and he was a pretty nice guy until some of us were like, "his parents look like they came from india...his house smells like shit, fucking curry"  so yeah there was a made up insult exclusive for him, and it was "ghandi-licka."  i think the "licka" was added because we liked how we flicked off the a-sound when we said it, and plus it sounded gangster to us.  i didn't even know what it meant but i called him it.  and so one day, we all decide to chase him down with sticks.  it was a fucking stampede.  at lest fifteen to twenty kids looking out for this guy.  i was pansy as shit so i'd take a lot of breaks, and when i'd see like four to five people chasing him i would just laugh because i just thought of this being funny as shit, and i wasn't even serious about this whole ghandi-licka thing, it was just like the whole town chasing a kid b/c he stole some bread or something, but instead people just hate him for no true reason at all.  no harm was actually done, except emotional scarring for him.  i was such a dick.  i don't even think this story can be made into a good scene just by these words.  i compare it to when the hyenas were on a rampage in the first lion king before scar killed mufasa.  i mean it was that chaotic.

one day when it was 4th of july, i saw some people that looked pretty old, like in their 20's.  so since i wanted to look cool, i took some popplers and then i went to them.  i threw them up in the air and when they came down one guy was like woah dude.  and i felt so manly

so i remember buying those pokeballs with pokemon figurines in them.  i'd take out the figures because i liked them but man...the most interactive i got with the toys, were the pokeballs.  i used to throw them my bird cage, in an open field trying imagine me throwing it at a pokemon but instead it would be a tree.  they got so damaged that i would use tape on them so they could last.  

since i was an attention whore, i wanted to get a reputation for something.  so sometimes kids would dare me to lick things.  i licked car windows and grinded rocks

so when the mummy movie came out, and when i saw the scene of some black bugs going inside of a guy and then eating him from the inside out, i asked myself if this was real.  in the neighborhood, there would be a grand premier of...lifting heavy stones so some bugs can crawl out.  this one bug in particular caught the eyes of an indian girl.  the bug was light red, and it was like the shape of an adult cockdick.  she said "wow i read in books that they can go inside your body and kill you."  she was in the same grade as me.  so when we'd lift rocks and then saw the bug gone, i would run on concrete to feel safe and everytime i felt something crawling under my skin i thought i was going to die

fuck this ill take a break

[Hiro]

i love your grammar and syntax mib