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General => The Lobby => Topic started by: The spy who loves you on July 01, 2008, 09:09:20 PM

Title: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: The spy who loves you on July 01, 2008, 09:09:20 PM
How would you kill them?

Where would  you kill them?

Where would you dump the body?

Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Meyer Lansky on July 01, 2008, 09:16:37 PM
I think I would start off by taking a blowtorch to your eyeballs, that way, right off the bat, you're in excruciating pain plus you can't see. Then I'd take a baseball bat to your kneecaps, followed by a slicing of both of your achilles tendons. Then I'd kneel you down and put your hands into a large vat of hydrochloric acid and force you to keep them there by power drilling you to the floor through the back of your knees. After my blunt and/or cigarette is done, I'll start skinning your back; very gradually. Then I would slice your mouth open from ear to ear. After I'm done taking pictures to send to your mother (while keeping copies to re-send to her every year on her birthday and Mother's Day), I'll rip you from off the floor and stick your head in a vice grip, squeezing until you... POP!

I'd dump your body on your doorstep.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Nyerp on July 01, 2008, 09:17:21 PM
FMR:

I would bash your skull in with your ego.

No Comment.

In the furnace.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Ringo on July 01, 2008, 09:18:10 PM
I'd do the old "Ha ha got your nose." Then I'd pop out a switchblade and cut off your ear followed by a nice garroting.

And I'd kill you at Sears in the washing machine section.

I would dump your body in the toilet, after I ate it.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: The spy who loves you on July 01, 2008, 09:18:55 PM
Quote from: Nyerp on July 01, 2008, 09:17:21 PM
FMR:

I would bash your skull in with your ego.

No Comment.

In the furnace.
My ego isn't all that big,srsly.

And Jesus christ I keep making the weirdest grammatical errors today.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Nyerp on July 01, 2008, 09:19:39 PM
Quote from: Cameron on July 01, 2008, 09:18:55 PM
My ego isn't all that big,srsly.

And Jesus christ I keep making the weirdest grammatical errors today.

ps space goes after comma
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Socks on July 01, 2008, 09:22:14 PM
Sniper rifle with expanding ammunition, one shot to the midsection should literally rip the body in half from 1,5oo Meters.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: The spy who loves you on July 01, 2008, 09:25:24 PM
Gut him like a fish.giggle;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: superclucky on July 01, 2008, 09:27:36 PM
Would hire a hitman, or just drug him and tape him to the table and pour bleach down his throat until he becomes quiet and slowly start to snip his skin off I guess.

Then just chop his body and cook it and give it to my dog and clean up the blood and donate the clothes.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Feynman on July 01, 2008, 09:28:03 PM
Make sweet love to her and then shoot her at her orgasm.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Meyer Lansky on July 01, 2008, 09:29:06 PM
Call George Bush.

You guys suck, you're not being creative whatsoever.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: The spy who loves you on July 01, 2008, 09:29:40 PM
Cut off his massive penis and use it to strangle him. baddood;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on July 01, 2008, 09:33:25 PM
Use his du rag to choke him. baddood;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Himu on July 01, 2008, 09:38:26 PM
Choke him with his suspenders <3
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: mario583 on July 01, 2008, 09:38:45 PM
Quote from: The Joker on July 01, 2008, 09:16:37 PM
I think I would start off by taking a blowtorch to your eyeballs, that way, right off the bat, you're in excruciating pain plus you can't see. Then I'd take a baseball bat to your kneecaps, followed by a slicing of both of your achilles tendons. Then I'd kneel you down and put your hands into a large vat of hydrochloric acid and force you to keep them there by power drilling you to the floor through the back of your knees. After my blunt and/or cigarette is done, I'll start skinning your back; very gradually. Then I would slice your mouth open from ear to ear. After I'm done taking pictures to send to your mother (while keeping copies to re-send to her every year on her birthday and Mother's Day), I'll rip you from off the floor and stick your head in a vice grip, squeezing until you... POP!

I'd dump your body on your doorstep.

You've thought of this have you?  befuddlement
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Meyer Lansky on July 01, 2008, 09:40:20 PM
Quote from: mario583 on July 01, 2008, 09:38:45 PM
You've thought of this have you?  befuddlement
Actually, I came up with that on the spot.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Himu on July 01, 2008, 09:43:10 PM
Push him down the stairs.  As I pull off an escape the house as he tries to get out of the house I step on his ear with a stiletto heeled boot.  The heel penetrating his eardrums and his brain as it goes out the other ear.  Then take off my boot and shove some fireworks in his penis.  Then I ignite it and run. <3

oh and then have sex with him doodella;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Hiro on July 01, 2008, 09:44:19 PM
inject you with that disease where your muscles turn to bone, beat every inch of you by throwing you in a tight room full of angry war horses (so you turn completely to bone) and then throw you out of an airplane :}
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on July 01, 2008, 09:44:24 PM
Quote from: Lalie on July 01, 2008, 09:43:10 PM
Push him down the stairs.  As I pull off an escape the house as he tries to get out of the house I step on his ear with a stiletto heeled boot.  The heel penetrating his eardrums and his brain as it goes out the other ear.  Then take off my boot and shove some fireworks in his penis.  Then I ignite it and run. <3

oh and then have sex with him doodella;

how the hell do you have sex with minced penis
andway idk i'd throw her off a building and sex her up on the way down doodella;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Feynman on July 01, 2008, 09:56:12 PM
Quote from: Lalie on July 01, 2008, 09:43:10 PM



We'd begin undressing until we're bare naked. Her legs will be spread around my waist and I'll carefully insert my penis into her vagina, moving in slowly, and when it's finally in I'll begin thrusting. I'll thrust in an in-and-out motion and gradually increase speed and the sound of her moaning will get me closer to my orgasm and get me more into the mood. As I thrust, she'll also push her body towards me for maximum contact and the bed will move vigorously. As I am about to orgasm, I'll slow down in my thrusting and release my warm load inside of her. As she lays down on the bed catching her breath cherishing the new warmth inside of her, I'll pull out the hand gun from in the drawer of the night stand, point the gun to the right side of her head above her ear, and I'll pull the trigger. The bullet will enter her head and she will die immediately. Blood will begin pouring out of her head and all over the bed, covering up the whole bed fast. I'll put on my suit, and leave the place to explode.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Himu on July 01, 2008, 09:59:43 PM
Quote from: Caravan on July 01, 2008, 09:56:12 PM
We'd begin undressing until we're bare naked. Her legs will be spread around my waist and I'll carefully insert my penis into her vagina, moving in slowly, and when it's finally in I'll begin thrusting. I'll thrust in an in-and-out motion and gradually increase speed and the sound of her moaning will get me closer to my orgasm and get me more into the mood. As I thrust, she'll also push her body towards me for maximum contact and the bed will move vigorously. As I am about to orgasm, I'll slow down in my thrusting and release my warm load inside of her. As she lays down on the bed catching her breath cherishing the new warmth inside of her, I'll pull out the hand gun from in the drawer of the night stand, point the gun to the right side of her head above her ear, and I'll pull the trigger. The bullet will enter her head and she will die immediately. Blood will begin pouring out of her head and all over the bed, covering up the whole bed fast. I'll put on my suit, and leave the place to explode.

lol

My reply wasn't even supposed to go to you. :[
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Daddy on July 01, 2008, 09:59:59 PM
I'd just kill him quickly for posting that.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Sam on July 01, 2008, 10:01:48 PM
Quote from: JMV on July 01, 2008, 09:59:59 PM
I'd just kill him quickly for posting that.

I'd cut his ankles off so he'd be the same height as me, , then just let him bleed to death. ;D

Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Feynman on July 01, 2008, 10:02:12 PM
Quote from: Lalie on July 01, 2008, 09:59:43 PM
lol

My reply wasn't even supposed to go to you. :[


huh
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Himu on July 01, 2008, 10:02:28 PM
Quote from: JMV on July 01, 2008, 09:59:59 PM
I'd just kill him quickly for posting that.
wat
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Himu on July 01, 2008, 10:03:56 PM
Quote from: Caravan on July 01, 2008, 10:02:12 PM
huh
I typed it before you posted and it got submitted after you posted.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Feynman on July 01, 2008, 10:05:30 PM
Quote from: Lalie on July 01, 2008, 10:03:56 PM
I typed it before you posted and it got submitted after you posted.


my thing was exclusively to you <3
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Hiro on July 01, 2008, 10:06:40 PM
Nobody said anything about mine  :(
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Meyer Lansky on July 01, 2008, 10:08:32 PM
Mine is still the best one. baddood;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: ME## on July 01, 2008, 10:09:20 PM
Quote from: H i r o on July 01, 2008, 10:06:40 PM
Nobody said anything about mine  :(


slowly heat a pot of water to 100Ã,° and boil you, and then feed you to something idk
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Hiro on July 01, 2008, 10:11:05 PM
Quote from: ME86 on July 01, 2008, 10:09:20 PM
slowly heat a pot of water to 100Ã,° and boil you, and then feed you to something idk
lazy. :\
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on July 01, 2008, 10:11:24 PM
Quote from: ME86 on July 01, 2008, 10:09:20 PM
slowly heat a pot of water to 100Ã,° and boil you, and then feed you to something idk
build my own metal gear and kill him like Liquid did Grey Fox baddood;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Hiro on July 01, 2008, 10:12:38 PM
Quote from: Psycho Mantis on July 01, 2008, 10:11:24 PM
build my own metal gear and kill him like Liquid did Grey Fox baddood;
Push you into a volcano and eat your torched remains.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Wrench on July 01, 2008, 10:19:06 PM
ban him from Boyah and let him suffer until he finally dies
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Hiro on July 01, 2008, 10:19:57 PM
Quote from: Hammurai on July 01, 2008, 10:19:06 PM
ban him from Boyah and let him suffer until he finally dies
D:
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: CutLess on July 01, 2008, 10:24:57 PM
While H I R O was washing his face, he also felt a strange tingling that was much different than water.  He didn't notice anything was wrong until he looked closer in the mirror in front of him:  his face was peeling off as if it were a mask.  He'd run out of the room he was in, inevitably getting "water" all over himself, and he'd end up running to his phone.

He'd drop his phone as he looked into the eyes of his killer.

And that killer would be some white-face clown, holding only a gun.  I'd explain to him that I tainted the water, making it peel his skin off and making his clothes explode by the touch of fire.  When he would finally realize what the second part meant, I would use my gun, which was actually a flamethrower.  Fortunately for him, he would still be alive, but it wouldn't be for long.

I'd take my laughing gas and spray it on him, while setting the room on fire.  This combination would completely deprive him of oxygen, killing him in a quite painful death.

I'd leave the room and body.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Sam on July 01, 2008, 10:42:59 PM
Quote from: Vostroya on July 01, 2008, 10:39:18 PM
Invite him to a haircut at my barbershop, and when my colleague walks in halfway through the brarbery, I would hand him the straight razor. He would be hesitant and refuse, but I would force it upon him and say "TAKE THE RAZOR AND CUT THIS FUCKING RUSSE!" At this point he would snatch the razor, grip it tightly, and as CutLess started in fright my colleague would drive the razor edge into his throat.

I just watched Eastern Promises.  baddood;


I'd dangle him off a building by his pretty hair.  befuddlement

I think eventually that might result in death.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: The spy who loves you on July 01, 2008, 10:47:18 PM
Uh, the person would have to fall, they wouldn't die just from dangling.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on July 01, 2008, 10:48:06 PM
Quote from: Cameron on July 01, 2008, 10:47:18 PM
Uh, the person would have to fall, they wouldn't die just from dangling.
hat if you had them up there for days and they dehydrated and/or starved to death baddood;
or had a heart attack
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: LCK on July 01, 2008, 10:49:28 PM
These "Above Poster" threads are beginning to get fucking annoying.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: The spy who loves you on July 01, 2008, 10:49:48 PM
Quote from: Psycho Mantis on July 01, 2008, 10:48:06 PM
hat if you had them up there for days and they dehydrated and/or starved to death baddood;
or had a heart attack
Then that would be death from the starvation and dehydration or heart attack, you could do that without dangling someone from a building.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Sam on July 01, 2008, 10:54:09 PM
Quote from: Lckie on July 01, 2008, 10:49:28 PM
These "Above Poster" threads are beginning to get fucking annoying.


I think they're fun.

Quote from: Cameron on July 01, 2008, 10:49:48 PM
Then that would be death from the starvation and dehydration or heart attack, you could do that without dangling someone from a building.

I just want an excuse to touch his hair. giggle;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Chris (JayJay) on July 02, 2008, 06:34:27 AM
Bash her over the head with a baseball bat and shove it down her throat.  caterpie;

idk

leave her at the street so the dogs could eat her.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Chris (JayJay) on July 02, 2008, 07:49:17 AM
Quote from: Amigo on July 02, 2008, 07:48:45 AM
God damn, these threads are getting anoying.Wasn't there a rule to ban anyone who makes these sorts of threads?


idk go find it
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Selkie on July 02, 2008, 09:31:21 AM
tape you to chair, slice face, cut off ear, cover you in gas and light you on fire.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Meyer Lansky on July 02, 2008, 09:43:11 AM
Quote from: Selkie224 on July 02, 2008, 09:31:21 AM
tape you to chair, slice face, cut off ear, cover you in gas and light you on fire.
Watched Reservoir Dogs recently, huh?
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Selkie on July 02, 2008, 09:54:05 AM
Quote from: The Joker on July 02, 2008, 09:43:11 AM
Watched Reservoir Dogs recently, huh?


absolutely
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: YPrrrr on July 02, 2008, 10:38:08 AM
Tie you to a pole in Cherynobl
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Classic on July 02, 2008, 11:06:08 AM
Murder him with love and affection.
I hope he likes cake. giggle;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: superclucky on July 02, 2008, 11:49:02 AM
straight sex for days until he passes out giggle;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Classic on July 02, 2008, 11:50:11 AM
Quote from: Clucky on July 02, 2008, 11:49:02 AM
straight sex for days until he passes out giggle;

HONK HONK for days until she passes out. giggle;


Oh, and for shame Clucky. You'll make Socks jealous.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: ME## on July 02, 2008, 12:14:10 PM
Quote from: Yprie on July 02, 2008, 10:38:08 AM
Tie you to a pole in Cherynobl


where in chernobyl?


and lock him inside the sarcophagus :0
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Meyer Lansky on July 02, 2008, 12:38:41 PM
Sew his asshole shut and just keep feeding him and feeding him and feeding him...
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: YPrrrr on July 02, 2008, 01:28:47 PM
Quote from: ME86 on July 02, 2008, 12:14:10 PM
where in chernobyl?


and lock him inside the sarcophagus :0
Right by the old nuclear plant n_u

and force march him to death, throwing boiling water onto him any time he's too slow for my liking
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Socks on July 02, 2008, 02:51:43 PM
Quote from: Toot Braunstein on July 02, 2008, 11:50:11 AM
Oh, and for shame Clucky. You'll make Socks jealous.


Actually, I'd enjoy the show.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Classic on July 02, 2008, 03:17:59 PM
Quote from: Socks on July 02, 2008, 02:51:43 PM
Actually, I'd enjoy the show.

You really DO hate me. ;o;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Thyme on July 02, 2008, 03:25:18 PM
I'd hug him to death. giggle;
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Chris (JayJay) on July 02, 2008, 03:26:17 PM
Punch myself repeatedly.
Title: Re: If you had to brutally murder the above poster.
Post by: Classic on July 02, 2008, 03:26:53 PM
Hug both Thyme and JJ to death. giggle;

(Except Thyme will have it harder because he's Canadian ;) )