The sequel to the ever popular Boyah Goes Nsider which is a sequel to the abadoned Boyah Gets Lost. Boyah Gets Evil marks the end of this epic trilogy. It will culminate with this volume in the Boyah series. In Boyah Gets Evil, Andrew1911 has taken over Boyah and Outsider, two sites that will help lead him to rule the internet. Now, this fan-fic will watch over Andrew1911's rise to power. Be warned, he will eat babies at unmarked times. You have been warned.
The Introduction
Andrew1911 washes his hands clean after disposing of Eminem, Reaper, and The Oggmonster. He smiled to himself a bit after killing those three... They just made his dreams come true and they never knew it until they died... Ah, what a funny world we live in... Now, to find new employees for my empire... Andrew1911 opens up a link to the Internet Hired Goon Database. As he enters, he notices that LCK is waiting to be hired. Andrew1911 says, "Ah, hello, LCK. Heard of Boyah's demise, have you?" LCK said, "You did it, didn't you?" Andrew1911 smiled, "Oh, quite right." LCK said, "I want in. I need a job and you're going places. Hire me." Andrew1911 said, "All right. You're my second in command. Congratulations, Sergeant LCK."
LCK said, "You know Kaz and JMV is here too, right?" Andrew said, "All right. Hire Kaz. He's a bad man. We need more bad men in this Empire." LCK said, "JMV too?" Andrew1911 hesistated, "Well... I need men... But do I need men that bad? All right, hire him. What the hell. I need men and beggars cannot be choosers. Let's shag ass." Andrew1911 opened a link to the newly rebuilt Outsider. LCK, Kaz, and JMV jumped into the link. Andrew1911 screamed, "Make sure you bring me the head of NOA Andy! Nsider is next!"
LET'S KICK SOME ASS
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
no one's getting andy richter reference
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Chapter One: Today, your mom... Tomorrow, your mom again.
Andrew1911 sipped tea as he watched Kaz prepare the troops to attack Nsider. Kaz walked up to Andrew1911 and said, "Sir, the troops are ready to destroy Nsider as we speak." Andrew1911 put his hands togther and said, "Excellent. Now, we shall descend into the forums during an Ask NOA Andy meeting. We will attack the fool in there. I want to be there when we cut his fucking head off. Promise me we won't have any an heroes here." Kaz shouted, "SIR, THERE WILL BE AN HEROES HERE, SIR!" Andrew1911 said, "Good, prepare the link to Nsider. We leave in an hour. Let me get my sword."
Andrew1911 entered his massive castle and picked up Schwang, his massive sword that is not compensating for any small thing on his body... It's what you do with it, I say. I mean, if you can fuck really good, does it matter if it's only three inches? God dammit, I know I made you orgasm, Kathy! Oh, yeah, sorry. Anyway, Andrew1911 walked up to his consogolarie, LCK. Andrew1911 said, "LCK, what do you think the chances we can destroy Nsider today?" LCK said, "Pretty high. We can easily defeat them with the troops and since we're attacking the NOA Andy chat room, it'll be even easier." Andrew1911 smiled, "You get to stay back and enjoy some tea, LCK. You've earned it. Now, I have to be evil somewhere else. See ya."
Kaz screamed, "TROOPS! ARE YOU READY TO DESCEND UPON THE NOA ANDY AND RAPE HIM TO DEATH?" The troops screamed, "SIR, YES, SIR!" Kaz said, "Excellent. OPEN THE LINK!" The troops charged into the link and found themselves smack dab in the middle of the Ask NOA Andy chat room. As NOA Andy saw these troops descened upon him, he shit himself. He screamed, "FUCKING PROTECT ME, JACK!" NOA Jack leaped into the room and screamed, "I'M GUNNNA EAT YOU GOOD, BITCH!" See, NOA Jack is 300 feet tall and has a hankering for eating people. He grabbed a fistful of soliders and ate them whole. Kaz said, "Fuck you, fucker!" Kaz leaped into the air right into Jack's mouth. He grabbed his sword and cut Jack's tongue in half. Kaz leapt back out while flipping him the bird.
Jack tried to curse Kaz off but half of his tongue was missing. He swallowed his tongue and began to choke on it. He couldn't stop it. He fell down and died. One troop pissed on him for revenge for his fallen comrade. The troop said, "This is for you, Jeffery..." NOA Andy was all alone in a corner. Andrew1911 finally came through the link with Schwang. Andrew1911 said, "Ah, Mr. Andy... How are you doing? Not too well, I see... See, I'm taking control of the internet, now. This is my zone. Outsider and Boyah are small potatoes compared to Nsider, Andy... With your death, I take control of Nsider, a large site. Can you see the possibilities here? I can do so many things with this power..."
Andy interrupted, "You're a sick fuck..." Andrew1911 ran over to Andy and began to choke him. He screamed, "DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING INTERRUPT, MY FUCKING MONOLOGUE OR I DECIDE NOT TO GIVE YOU A SWIFT AND PAINLESS DEATH AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN FUCKING TESTICLES, YOU SHITFUCK!" Andrew1911 let go of NOA Andy and began talking again, "Now, as I was saying, with this power, I could be the biggest filmmaker who ever was... I could also just rule the world... I'll do both. Now, about your death, I'm going to have to do the testicle thing because you interrupted me and called me a sick fuck. You only have yourself to blame, Andy..."
Andrew1911 grabbed Schwang and cut off Andy's testicles. Andy screamed in pain before they were forced down this throat. Amazingly, Andy didn't choke on them. Andrew said, "Huh. Usually chokes you. Well, you're in pain so I guess just cutting your head off isn't that bad..." Andrew1911 chopped Andy's head off and handed it to Kaz. Andrew1911 said, "Kaz, you did a great job out there so you deserve a high five and a trophy. The trophy is the head and I am ready to initate a high five." Andrew1911 high fived Kaz and was about to walk through the portal when Kaz asked, "Andrew, who are we attacking next?"
Andrew1911 smiled and said, "Everyone, my dear, Kaz... You'll have to be more specific." Kaz said, "Like, the one after this one? Who?" Andrew1911 said, "We'll be attacking something that shall be difficult to attack. 4chan... We'll have to just kill it since it's impossible to destroy from the inside. Also, Kaz, kill everyone who goes to Nsider. They're all retarded and I don't them assiociated with me. Anyway, I'm going home. I need to wash the blood out of my cashmere sweater."
4chan? That's...that's impossible? However can we accomplish such a deed? gonk;
Quote from: Kaz on May 16, 2007, 08:39:51 AM
4chan? That's...that's impossible? However can we accomplish such a deed? gonk;
Maybe, if more people commented, we would know. kratos;
Needs moar me. awesome;
Eh, your grammar and stuff needs work. cop;
AND CUT DOWN ON THE ELLIPSES.
Aww I died. dawkins;
"A heartwarming tale...about Andrew1911..."
"Charming..."
"A must-read..."
"Two thumbs WAY up!"
"A_A"
Next chapter, please. v;
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on May 16, 2007, 02:21:39 PM
Needs moar me. awesome;
Eh, your grammar and stuff needs work. cop;
AND CUT DOWN ON THE ELLIPSES.
You're dead. :| :|
Quote from: Andrew1911 on May 16, 2007, 02:43:32 PM
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on May 16, 2007, 02:21:39 PM
Needs moar me. awesome;
Eh, your grammar and stuff needs work. cop;
AND CUT DOWN ON THE ELLIPSES.
You're dead. :| :|
I could survive in some stupid plot twist. |::|:|
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on May 16, 2007, 03:00:27 PM
Quote from: Andrew1911 on May 16, 2007, 02:43:32 PM
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on May 16, 2007, 02:21:39 PM
Needs moar me. awesome;
Eh, your grammar and stuff needs work. cop;
AND CUT DOWN ON THE ELLIPSES.
You're dead. :| :|
I could survive in some stupid plot twist. |::|:|
Only Andrew1911 can do that, nub. :| :| :| :|
Quote from: Andrew1911 on May 16, 2007, 03:22:59 PM
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on May 16, 2007, 03:00:27 PM
Quote from: Andrew1911 on May 16, 2007, 02:43:32 PM
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on May 16, 2007, 02:21:39 PM
Needs moar me. awesome;
Eh, your grammar and stuff needs work. cop;
AND CUT DOWN ON THE ELLIPSES.
You're dead. :| :|
I could survive in some stupid plot twist. |::|:|
Only Andrew1911 can do that, nub. :| :| :| :|
Fine. :|:|:|:|:|
Your stories are epic and quite entertaining caterpie;
Chapter Two: The Delicious Taste of Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches
Andrew1911 went back to his mansion in Outsider. He entered through the front door and suddenly had a craving for the rich taste of Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches which are conveintly available in your local grocery store. They're having a sale for two for one... One dollar for the crisp, refreshing taste of two chocolate bars, holding the mouth watering vanilla ice cream in between them? How can you resist? Andrew1911 went to his fridge to take out one. As he began to unwrap the bar, his mouth began to water... He could taste it in his mouth... His penis became a little erect. He felt something thick on the back of his head too.
No, not that head. Andrew1911 felt a gun to the back of his head. Andrew1911 said, "Listen, man... Before you shoot, I have one final request... Can I eat this Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwich?" The intruder said, "Wait, you have Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches? We can wait to kill you, for now." The intruder and Andrew1911 sat at a table as they enjoyed the brilliant flavor of chocolate and vanilla. Andrew1911 could not see who the intruder is since he wore all black and a mask covered his face.
They finished their ice cream sandwiches and the intruder said, "Yum. That was delicious. Seconds!" The two ate another pack of Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches. The intruder said, "I cannot eat any other Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwich, conveintly available in grocery stores across the world. So, you know what that means..." The intruder shot Andrew1911 and he fell to the floor. The intruder tied up his wrists and legs so he could not escape and dragged him to the van. The intruder left a note on the door for Kaz to find when he returned.
Andrew1911 was kidnapped.
Now, for a special announcement from your anti-hero, Andrew1911... "No, I did not have sex with a monkey! Oh, I didn't see you there. Come on in! Now, on the set of Boyah Gets Evil, we love to have tons of laughs but, sometimes, we have to get serious. Did you know that the cool, refreshing taste of Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches is being unnoticed by the general population? Only you can help solve this problem by buying crates of the stuff. Remember, it's delicious, people."
This episode has been brought to you by Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches. They're icetastic!
I fucking hate you all.
NOOOOO MY LORD
Corporate whore. argh;
NEW CHAPTER UP TONIGHT
That's nice, now bring me my goddamn ice cream
Chapter Three: Kaz Returns
Kaz finally gets out from the portal, holding NOA Andy's head. He walks up the steps, triumphant in the defeat of Nsider and the inevitable death of 4chan. Looks like Kaz finally picked the right man to help. Or is it wrong man since Andrew is actually evil? Whatever it means, Kaz was finally heading places. Once he reached the top, he saw the note on the door. As soon as he finished reading it, he dropped Andy's head and it rolled down the steps, breaking in many pieces. Kaz screamed, "ANDREW'S BEEN KIDNAPPED! LCK, WE NEED HELP AND SOMEONE TO GLUE ANDY'S HEAD BACK TOGETHER! LCK, WHERE ARE YOU?" Kaz found LCK at his desk.
Kaz said, "Oh, there you are, LCK. Listen, we've got a pr-" When Kaz turned LCK's chair around to him, he saw LCK was shot in the forehead. Another note was pinned on LCK... It said: "NO U". After reading that, Kaz knew who had kidnapped Andrew1911... 4Chan must've bugged the house. Kaz screamed, "DAMN YOU, 4CHAN! DAMN YOU TO HELL! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! I'LL GET YOU!" Kaz grabbed his shotgun and screamed to the troops, "MEN, WE'RE GOING TO GO FUCK US UP SOME /B/TARDS! JMV, YOU WATCH THE HOUSE AND MAKE SURE NO MOTHERFUCKERS GET IN... EXCEPT FOR US! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!"
In an unmarked van, Andrew1911 was held hostage by a bunch of /b/tards taking them to the ultimate /b/tard... Andrew1911 said, "Listen, you can take this damn handkerchief off my head. I have a feeling you have no intention of letting me go so why don't you just take this fucking thing off?" The /b/tards were too smart for that and laughed at Andrew1911's attempts to break free. Andrew1911 laughed with them, "I'm going to strangle and rape you all when I break out. Ha, ha, ha!" The /b/tards stopped laughing and wet themselves a bit. Andrew1911 smiled a cruel smile, "That's what I thought."
I'm dead. caterpie;
Quote from: LCK on May 21, 2007, 05:13:25 PM
I'm dead. caterpie;
I haven't appeared. caterpie;
I seriously lol'd at the note that was pinned to LCK. "NO U." china;
I had a desk. caterpie;
"NO U"
Chapter Four: Kaz + Guns = Hawt
Kaz entered the link with his troops and found the terribly organized 4chan impossible to navigate. Kaz whispered to his scouts, "Look out for the OVER 9000 /b/tards... They're the most dangerous because they're OVER 9000!!!!!" The scouts acknowledged Kaz and left to look for Andrew1911. Kaz ordered his troops around until Kaz was left alone with Private SKBT. Kaz said, "Private, you were an ex-4chan. I need you to navigate us through this horrible place." SKBT said, "Yes, sir." SKBT knelt down to the ground and licked the dirt.
SKBT said, "I taste Mountain Road Ice Cream Sandwiches... His favorite... The trail is fresh. They are near here, sir." Kaz smiled, "Excellent work, Private. You'll be getting a promotion when we get to our home." As soon as Kaz said this, an OVER 9000!!!111 /b/tard towered over them, screaming, "ANDREW1911'S BITCH HOES ARE HERE! KILL 'EM!" Kaz shit himself but SKBT gave the OVER 9000 /b/tard the secret symbol to pass. The OVER 9000 /b/tard had to obey the symbol and he went back into his hiding space. Kaz laughed, "Yep, you're definetly getting a promotion."
They finally navigated themselves to 4chan's main base... Kaz said, "Alright, we're cold, it's dark, we only have four pistols to use, and we have countless /b/tards to kill before reaching our comrade and, than, running back to the link. Let's go." As soon as they mentally prepared themselves to attack, they dove through the door, expecting an epic showdown with 4chan. Disappointingly, it turns out Andrew1911 broke out and killed all the /b/tards in the base. They interrupted him raping a barely alive /b/tard. Andrew1911 said, "Ah, hello, comrades! As you can see, I'm a little busy. I'll see you back at base. Kaz, I want you to bring some troops here to hold 4chan and gave that guy next to you a promotion."
Kaz said with sorrow, "Sir... LCK is dead." Andrew1911 stopped his forward thrusts. He said, "What? LCK is dead? WHAT?" Andrew1911 began to rape the 4chan vigriously as he said that and he screamed, "KAZ, YOU'RE MY SECOND IN COMMAND AND THAT MAN NEXT TO YOU GETS YOUR OLD SPOT! I WANT TO TEACH THIS FUCKER A LESSON! LEAVE ME ALONE!" SKBT's face went pale. He said, "Wow... That was both awesome and disturbing." Kaz said, "Which one was awesome and disturbing?" SKBT, stunned, said, "What do you think?"
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on May 21, 2007, 05:26:14 PM
Quote from: SBKT on May 21, 2007, 05:19:28 PM
Quote from: LCK on May 21, 2007, 05:13:25 PM
I'm dead. caterpie;
I haven't appeared. caterpie;
I'm presumed dead. caterpie;
No, you are dead. YOU AREN'T COMING BACK. YOU DIED IN THE OUTSIDER IMPLOSION.
I need an appearance, Andrew. argh;
SHIT, I'M IN THERE.
Also, my name is spelled wrong. Pretend my name got chopped in half to KT or something. I find that helps people.
AVENGE MY DEATH.
SBKT AND I MAKE A GREAT TEAM, NO?
Also, the leader's name is Moot, of 4chan.
Chapter Five: A Secret Ally
When Andrew1911 finally came, the 4chan member had at least been dead for several hours. Andrew1911 grunted and grabbed his massive sword, Schwang. He cut off the 4chan's head and said, "This is for you, LCK... This is for you..." He opened a link back to Outsider and said, "Time to introduce Kaz to my secret ally..." DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN.
Kaz was waiting in Andrew1911's office when Andrew1911 just walked in with the 4chan's head. Kaz yelled, "Hello, sir!" Andrew1911 said, "You're at a level near my rank. Stop the ass kissing, Kaz. You can call me, Andrew. Now, that you have LCK's job, it's my duty to introduce you to someone we had on the inside when I trapped those Boyah fools on the island... Are you prepared to meet with him, Kaz? This will blow your mind... ALONG WITH THE READERS' MINDS." Kaz said, "Andrew... I am prepared." Andrew1911 said, "No, you are not. But, I will show you, anyway."
Andrew1911 pressed the buzzer and said to his secretary, "Tri4se, bring him in, please." The doors opened and Kaz screamed, "NO, HOW CAN THAT BE? ANDREW... HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?" Andrew1911 said, "Would you like me to tell you? Well, it all happened wh-"
NEXT CHAPTER
WE WILL REVEAL THE HIDDEN SPY
WHICH IS TOMORROW
HA
NEXT CHAPTER, NEXT CHAPTER.
It's gonna be me, I know it.
Except I don't know who else would ever accept me. XD. I'm probably just a big giant smoosh on the floor under 4chan's massive pimply ass or something.
AHHH "4CHANNER" NOT "4CHAN" AAAHHHH
WHOZ DA SPYYYY
Chapter Six: THE IDENTITY IS REVEALED (SHIT YOURSELVES IN SURPRISE)
Andrew1911 said, "Kaz, I would like to re-introduce you to your old friend... He's been gone for quite sometime on a secret mission for me... You see, he w-
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE STAND BY
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
THEY HAVE BEEN FIXED
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY WRITTEN PROGRAM
Kaz said, "Wow, I can't believe that he died after that long explanation. Looks like we'll never speak of this again!" Andrew1911 concurred, "Yep, looks like the people who miss out on this should just go ahead and kill themselves right now for missing this epic post."
I lol'd at the "NO U" note.
I still never appeared. Oh well. Life goes on. v;
Quote from: Kaz on May 21, 2007, 05:34:01 PM
AHHH "4CHANNER" NOT "4CHAN" AAAHHHH
WHOZ DA SPYYYY
Wait, I just realized...
Why hasn't the corpses become zombies yet?
Quote from: Andrew1911 on May 21, 2007, 05:35:44 PM
Chapter Six: THE IDENTITY IS REVEALED (SHIT YOURSELVES IN SURPRISE)
Andrew1911 said, "Kaz, I would like to re-introduce you to your old friend... He's been gone for quite sometime on a secret mission for me... You see, he w-
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE STAND BY
WINNING CLIFFHANGER! I'm gonna need to get the ASCII of the girl hanging herself now.
Quote from: SBKT on May 21, 2007, 05:36:48 PM
Quote from: Kaz on May 21, 2007, 05:34:01 PM
AHHH "4CHANNER" NOT "4CHAN" AAAHHHH
WHOZ DA SPYYYY
Wait, I just realized...
Why hasn't the corpses become zombies yet?
When zombies are raped, they die. IT'S THE NEW RULE.
Quote from: Andrew1911 on May 21, 2007, 05:37:24 PM
Quote from: SBKT on May 21, 2007, 05:36:48 PM
Quote from: Kaz on May 21, 2007, 05:34:01 PM
AHHH "4CHANNER" NOT "4CHAN" AAAHHHH
WHOZ DA SPYYYY
Wait, I just realized...
Why hasn't the corpses become zombies yet?
When zombies are raped, they die. IT'S THE NEW RULE.
Wow, amazaing physics! I totally forgot about Rape. Semen jams the neurons!
BASTARD. kratos;
Chapter Six: OKAY, THIS TIME, IT'S REALLY REVEALED
Andrew1911 said, "Ah, Kaz... I'd like to re-introduce you to Silverhawk79... See, I had him on my side since I've told him of my plan several weeks before we left on the trip. He loved it and joined the cause for my rule. So, as I was saying, Silver was actually opening a link to a safe place while I planned for those fools to fall right into my hands. I knew they would return back to Boyah so I planned for their return and killed them both."
"No one knew Silver was my spy so I decided to send him into Nsider. How do you think trapping NOA Andy was so easy? We should've been killed instantly by the mods but since NOA Andy did not want to be touched by impure hands [Like the mods], he sealed him. Silver had a link hidden in there for us, thus, our easy victory. Silver is one of my favorite employees and now, he's coming out of being a private spy, and into a killing machine like you and me. Kaz, I want you to put Silver into SBKT's army. Thank you for your time, Kaz, and thank you Silver for all your hard work."
Quote from: Andrew1911 on May 21, 2007, 05:44:05 PM
Chapter Six: OKAY, THIS TIME, IT'S REALLY REVEALED
Andrew1911 said, "Ah, Kaz... I'd like to re-introduce you to Silverhawk79... See, I had him on my side since I've told him of my plan several weeks before we left on the trip. He loved it and joined the cause for my rule. So, as I was saying, Silver was actually opening a link to a safe place while I planned for those fools to fall right into my hands. I knew they would return back to Boyah so I planned for their return and killed them both."
"No one knew Silver was my spy so I decided to send him into Nsider. How do you think trapping NOA Andy was so easy? We should've been killed instantly by the mods but since NOA Andy did not want to be touched by impure hands [Like the mods], he sealed him. Silver had a link hidden in there for us, thus, our easy victory. Silver is one of my favorite employees and now, he's coming out of being a private spy, and into a killing machine like you and me. Kaz, I want you to put Silver into SBKT's army. Thank you for your time, Kaz, and thank you Silver for all your hard work."
Woah, shit, plot twist.
...I wanna kill Hans Blix.
Chapter Seven: SomethingAwful has something awful coming to them...
Andrew1911 grabbed his two Colt .45s. This was it... The big one... After taking down 4chan, all that is left to become the mastermind of the internet is the shithole known as SA... The birthplace of Psyduck Fucks Mysty must pay. Andrew1911 put his guns in his holsters and whispered to Kaz, "Alright, Kaz, inspire the troops or something. I'm going to attack SA first. See ya on the other side." Kaz yelled inspiring speeches to the troops detailing how awesome we are and how we're totally going to rape them and they'll all get delicious Mountain Road Ice Cream Sandwiches for a job well done.
The troops were inspired and everyone headed through the portal. Kaz put JMV and Silverhawk in charge of watching the base. Kaz looked at SBKT and said, "You ready... Partner?" SBKT said, "Hell yeah." They jumped through the portal and saw the carnage... Almost everyone was killed when jumping through the portal. The ones who survived had to make it through the barbed wire and turrents. Andrew1911 was one of the few who had made it and was currently under fire. SBKT screamed, "DIE, YOU UNFUNNY FUCKERS!" SBKT dived from the wall and shot at numerous SAs, killing them instantly. The enemies were taken are of and Andrew1911 was safe.
Andrew1911 smiled and said, "Thank God I promoted you." They ran inside the base... Unfortunately, it was only Andrew1911, Kaz, and SBKT left to attack. They charged inside the base and screamed, "THIS IS FOR DICTATOR ANDREW1911!" Their hearty charge ended instantly as they saw hundreds of SAs aim their weapons at them. Andrew1911 said, "Oh........ Shit." They heard a familar voice come from behind a chair. The man said, "That's right, Andrew... Shit indeed... You're doomed..." The man turned around and Andrew1911 showed an emotion other than anger... Fear mixed with anger. Andrew1911 said, "You... You... I will kill you, -"
NEXT CHAPTER
WILL ANDREW1911 SURVIVE?
WHO IS THE ASSHOLE?
WHY IS SBKT PROMOTED ALL THE WAY UP TO KAZ'S EQUAL SO EARLY?
WHY HAVE JMV AND SILVERHAWK BEEN WRITTEN OFF?
Quote from: Andrew1911 on May 21, 2007, 06:00:30 PM
Chapter Seven: SomethingAwful has something awful coming to them...
Andrew1911 grabbed his two Colt .45s. This was it... The big one... After taking down 4chan, all that is left to become the mastermind of the internet is the shithole known as SA... The birthplace of Psyduck Fucks Mysty must pay. Andrew1911 put his guns in his holsters and whispered to Kaz, "Alright, Kaz, inspire the troops or something. I'm going to attack SA first. See ya on the other side." Kaz yelled inspiring speeches to the troops detailing how awesome we are and how we're totally going to rape them and they'll all get delicious Mountain Road Ice Cream Sandwiches for a job well done.
The troops were inspired and everyone headed through the portal. Kaz put JMV and Silverhawk in charge of watching the base. Kaz looked at SBKT and said, "You ready... Partner?" SBKT said, "Hell yeah." They jumped through the portal and saw the carnage... Almost everyone was killed when jumping through the portal. The ones who survived had to make it through the barbed wire and turrents. Andrew1911 was one of the few who had made it and was currently under fire. SBKT screamed, "DIE, YOU UNFUNNY FUCKERS!" SBKT dived from the wall and shot at numerous SAs, killing them instantly. The enemies were taken are of and Andrew1911 was safe.
Andrew1911 smiled and said, "Thank God I promoted you." They ran inside the base... Unfortunately, it was only Andrew1911, Kaz, and SBKT left to attack. They charged inside the base and screamed, "THIS IS FOR DICTATOR ANDREW1911!" Their hearty charge ended instantly as they saw hundreds of SAs aim their weapons at them. Andrew1911 said, "Oh........ Shit." They heard a familar voice come from behind a chair. The man said, "That's right, Andrew... Shit indeed... You're doomed..." The man turned around and Andrew1911 showed an emotion other than anger... Fear mixed with anger. Andrew1911 said, "You... You... I will kill you, -"
NEXT CHAPTER
WILL ANDREW1911 SURVIVE?
WHO IS THE ASSHOLE?
WHY IS SBKT PROMOTED ALL THE WAY UP TO KAZ'S EQUAL SO EARLY?
WHY HAVE JMV AND SILVERHAWK BEEN WRITTEN OFF?
Damn, I MUST be evil.
IT'S MOOT HE SURVIVED THE 4CHAN ATTACK
Quote from: Kaz on May 21, 2007, 06:02:41 PM
IT'S MOOT HE SURVIVED THE 4CHAN ATTACK
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN CLOSE gonk;
Quote from: Andrew1911 on May 21, 2007, 06:03:11 PM
Quote from: Kaz on May 21, 2007, 06:02:41 PM
IT'S MOOT HE SURVIVED THE 4CHAN ATTACK
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN CLOSE gonk;
It's Snacks? Moot's evil bastard rebel mod?
Chapter Eight: Hello, LCK
LCK laughed as he saw fear in Andrew1911's face. LCK said, "Are you surprised, Andrew1911? You should've known I would've killed you and taken your position eventually. The internet is serious business, Andrew, and I am afraid you are not cut out for this business." Andrew1911 said, "So, you cut a deal with 4chan and SomethingAwful to take me out?" LCK said, "Oh, no, dear Andrew... I own them. You see, you never announced to the troops I was dead yet since you were busy showing off your spy, Silverhawk, to Kaz..."
Andrew1911 screamed, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SILVERHAWK AND JMV?" LCK smiled, "Silverhawk had to die. He was too loyal to you. But, JMV was willing to bend. He is now part of my cause. Soon enough, Nsider will be under my control. You've lost, Andrew1911. I now tire of your shenenigans." Andrew1911 screamed, "WHAT ABOUT MOOT? WE NEVER FOUND HIM!" LCK laughed, "Moot is my second in command, Andrew. I persuaded him to my side when I told him of your plan to attack him. He knew he would never be able to defeat you so he joined SA and me. Your rise to power occured over the coarse of several days yet you were defeated in less than five minutes. Good-bye, Andrew1911. Oh, Kaz and SBKT, if you wish to join my side, you may do so right now."
Kaz yelled, "I'd never join scum like you, LCK!" LCK said, "Do you realize the irony in that statement? You helped Andrew1911 to power, for God's sakes, Kaz." Kaz said, "Yeah but Andrew1911 would never be as pathetic as you are, LCK." LCK said, "That's true. Of course, I win, Kaz, so I don't care how you see me. How about you, SBKT?" SBKT spit from the far end and it landed in LCK's eye. LCK screamed, "Oh, you fucking asshole! Take those three bastards to the shooting range!" Andrew1911 said to his comrades, "Thank you two for not being little bitches. Well... See you in hell." Kaz said, "See you in hell, Andrew." SBKT said, "See you in hell, you two bastards..." They slowly marched to the shooting range and SBKT was placed in the line of fire first.
The shooting marshall smiled, "Dictator LCK wants Andrew1911 to see his friends die first and he wants to kill you personally, Andrew1911..." Andrew1911 said, "Who the hell doesn't want to kill me?" SBKT was blindfolded and it began. The shooting marshall said, "Ready... Aim... Fire!" The guns fired and the bullets went through SBKT's skull, kneecap, groin, and heart. He had died painfully. Andrew1911 groaned, seeing his comrade die like that. He noticed Kaz was being taken next. Kaz gave a look that said to save yourself. Andrew1911 was never good at listening. He heard the dreaded count again and before the call had been given, Andrew1911-
IF YOU WANT ANDREW1911 TO KILL THEM ALL AND SAVE KAZ, PRESS A
IF YOU WANT ANDREW1911 TO SHIT HIMSELF, PRESS B
IF YOU WANT ANDREW1911 TO MASTURBATE TO HAWT SHRINKING MEN AND FAT WOMEN PORN, PRESS C
AIM...READY...AND...
IN JUMPS A MASKED HERO TO SAVE US???
Shit, this is confusing. Am I dead or not?
Quote from: SBKT on May 21, 2007, 06:15:06 PM
Shit, this is confusing. Am I dead or not?
Now, you are. china;
WE NEED MORE ME, AND MORE SNACKS!
Agh, what a way to die. Maybe I shouldn't have spit.
I press A.
I press All of them at once, hoping the console self-destructs. When that doesn't work, I knife it.
Chapter Nine: Andrew1911 Rises Against the Machine
Andrew1911 screamed, "YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU FUCKING CUNT MUSCLES!" He dived into the firing line, knocking them over right when the firing marshall shouted fire. They missed Kaz barely. Kaz still had his blindfold and was wondering why the sweet release of death had never came. Kaz said, "Hello... Am I dead yet?" Andrew1911 grabbed a gun from a firing solider and smashed it right down into his skull. Andrew1911 screamed, "I'M NOT LETTING YOU WIN, TRAITOR!" Kaz said, "Andrew1911, is that you? I think we're dead so you don't have to scream so much." Andrew1911 grabbed the bayonet from the gun and jammed it into the firing marshall's ass.
Andrew1911 whispered into his ear, "I hope you live for another hour with this in your ass..." Andrew1911 took the man's gun from his holster and ran to Kaz. When Andrew1911 reached Kaz, Kaz said, "Satan, is that you?" Andrew1911 said, "We're not dead yet, Kaz. Welcome to the real world." Andrew1911 released his bandages and took the blindfold off. He handed Kaz a gun and said, "Let's rock that fucker. HUZZAH!" Kaz grabbed Andrew and said, "Are you insane? We need more soliders to kill LCK!" Andrew1911 said, "We have the element of surprise!" Kaz stopped and said, "Yeah, that's true. Let's go rape him, than!"
The ass raping begins... NEXT CHAPTER
I LOVED YOU LCK. YOU BETRAYED ME. YOUR ASS IS MINE.
Why couldn't you save SBKT as well? gonk;
He spit in LCK's eye from a great distance wub;
Quote from: Kaz on May 21, 2007, 06:28:45 PM
I LOVED YOU LCK. YOU BETRAYED ME. YOUR ASS IS MINE.
At least you're alive. I'm gonna be wandering around like Ben Kenobi's ghost.
Quote from: Kaz on May 21, 2007, 06:28:45 PM
I LOVED YOU LCK. YOU BETRAYED ME. YOUR ASS IS MINE.
I'M SORRY KAZ.
THERE WERE HIGHER FORCES OVER ME, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Quote from: UnagiPower on May 21, 2007, 06:29:26 PM
Why couldn't you save SBKT as well? gonk;
He spit in LCK's eye from a great distance wub;
I totally forgot to use my power to phase shift.
Chapter Ten: A Finale That Would Make Jesus Dance While Masturbating
Andrew1911 and Kaz dived through the door. Andrew1911 screamed, "I AM NOT DEFEATED THAT EASILY, LCK!" They began to pump the SAs and 4channers full of lead. Kaz dived across a table, blowing away a SA in the brain while kicking a 4channer in the balls. Andrew1911 said, "Nice one but watch this!" Andrew1911 jumped and kicked off the wall, shooting tens of bullets into a defenseless JMV, watching him crumble to nonexistant pieces. JMV managed to utter out, "I... Will... Return..." Andrew1911 said, "Yeah, fat change, red dust!"
Kaz grabbed a shotgun from a dead body and shot a 4channer's cock off with the shotgun while blowing his heart away with the pistol. The 4channer managed to say, "Jesus... That was cool." Kaz replied, "Yes... Yes, it was." LCK was stricken with fear in his chair. He had to escape. He ran outside with the remote that would call the Simple Machines bots here to destroy the site. LCK said to the machine, "Oh, my God, there's child porn in there! My virgin eyes have been raped!" The Simple Machines bot acknowledged LCK's complaint and went to SA to destroy the site.
LCK locked all the links, leaving one open for himself. He wanted to watch Andrew1911 and Kaz rush to the only open link, only to find out LCK just locked out, leaving them for dead. LCK saw the two running and before they could get a shot off, LCK jumped in and locked the portal. Andrew1911 said, "Well, let's take the plane he left here." Kaz screamed, "OH, GOD, RUN TO THE PLANE NOW!" Andrew1911 looked behind him to see the S & M bot, destroying SA. Andrew1911 yelled, "OH, BITTER IRONY!"
They got into the plane and started it up. Kaz said, "Must go faster... Must go faster..." They struggled to make it the end of SA and into the next available site, Something Big. They flew for hours and they noticed the virtual gas was beginning to run out. Kaz said, "Well, it's been an honor serving with you, Andrew." Andrew1911 smiled and said, "It's been a pleasure working with you, Kaz." They waited for their inevitable death as they flew towards the end of SA. The S & M bot had stopped. It had filled it's memory to the max. They were safe.
Andrew1911 said, "Woo-hoo! We made it before we entered that disturbing fat women and shrunken men site! High five!" While they were patting themselves on the back, they had reached the edge of the site and made it into the site they were so afraid of entering. Andrew1911 said, "Oh, God."
HA, it's NEVER the end.
Chapter Eleven: THE REAL FINALE
LCK sat atop his throne with his mighty army beneath him. He had conquered all. All he had to do was let Andrew1911 do all the work, fake his own death, and let Andrew1911 get himself killed the most embarresing way of all... Crushed by a fat woman's ass. The slaves he got pleased him so. They were wonderful giving him sexual favors. He smiled. Life was good. Unfortunately for LCK, it was about to end soon. Andrew1911 took off his woman outfit and put a gun to LCK's head. Andrew1911 was scarred terribly. He had a large gash going from the side of his face. Kaz exited his costume too and took out a gun to LCK's head.
Andrew1911 screamed, "Didn't expect to see me again so soon, LCK? Well, it appears I got the upper hand on your ass." LCK said, "What have you done with my slaves?" Kaz said, "Oh, they're dead, LCK. Just like you're going to be. We're taking the internet back." Andrew1911 and Kaz fired at the same time, killing LCK instantly. Andrew1911 said, "I would've liked a prolonged painful and agonizing death... But, it'll do." They took the crown from LCK's head and placed it on Andrew1911. One solider asked, "Sir, how did you make it out of that strange fetish site?" Andrew1911 remembered the painful moments and said, "Solider, I've seen things you cannot believe. I am afraid I will never be able to get over them and I would prefer to never speak of them again. Let's stay in the present."
"Anyway, I want you to bring anyone I have classified as of being of below average intelligence. They're only going to die. We're bringing my world into order. Kaz, I believe this is the beginning of a wonderful dictatorship." Kaz replied, "Oh, it's going to be wonderful, sir... Just wonderful..."
CAMENTS gonk;
Not enough ghosts.
You got LCK good. Andrew and Kaz are now in a dual monarchy dictatorship.
No Mountain House Ice Cream sandwich celebration? y;
FUCK YEAH VICTORY
Quote from: Kaz on May 22, 2007, 02:14:30 PM
FUCK YEAH VICTORY
Not for me, no.
Is my dick still in one piece at least? Tell me it only hit a ball.