Boyah Gets Evil: Goes Out With A Whimper

[Andrew1911]

The sequel to the ever popular Boyah Goes Nsider which is a sequel to the abadoned Boyah Gets Lost. Boyah Gets Evil marks the end of this epic trilogy. It will culminate with this volume in the Boyah series. In Boyah Gets Evil, Andrew1911 has taken over Boyah and Outsider, two sites that will help lead him to rule the internet. Now, this fan-fic will watch over Andrew1911's rise to power. Be warned, he will eat babies at unmarked times. You have been warned.

The Introduction

Andrew1911 washes his hands clean after disposing of Eminem, Reaper, and The Oggmonster. He smiled to himself a bit after killing those three... They just made his dreams come true and they never knew it until they died... Ah, what a funny world we live in... Now, to find new employees for my empire... Andrew1911 opens up a link to the Internet Hired Goon Database. As he enters, he notices that LCK is waiting to be hired. Andrew1911 says, "Ah, hello, LCK. Heard of Boyah's demise, have you?" LCK said, "You did it, didn't you?" Andrew1911 smiled, "Oh, quite right." LCK said, "I want in. I need a job and you're going places. Hire me." Andrew1911 said, "All right. You're my second in command. Congratulations, Sergeant LCK."

LCK said, "You know Kaz and JMV is here too, right?" Andrew said, "All right. Hire Kaz. He's a bad man. We need more bad men in this Empire." LCK said, "JMV too?" Andrew1911 hesistated, "Well... I need men... But do I need men that bad? All right, hire him. What the hell. I need men and beggars cannot be choosers. Let's shag ass." Andrew1911 opened a link to the newly rebuilt Outsider. LCK, Kaz, and JMV jumped into the link. Andrew1911 screamed, "Make sure you bring me the head of NOA Andy! Nsider is next!"

[Samus Aran]

LET'S KICK SOME ASS

[Andrew1911]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

no one's getting andy richter reference

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Andrew1911]

Chapter One: Today, your mom... Tomorrow, your mom again.

Andrew1911 sipped tea as he watched Kaz prepare the troops to attack Nsider. Kaz walked up to Andrew1911 and said, "Sir, the troops are ready to destroy Nsider as we speak." Andrew1911 put his hands togther and said, "Excellent. Now, we shall descend into the forums during an Ask NOA Andy meeting. We will attack the fool in there. I want to be there when we cut his fucking head off. Promise me we won't have any an heroes here." Kaz shouted, "SIR, THERE WILL BE AN HEROES HERE, SIR!" Andrew1911 said, "Good, prepare the link to Nsider. We leave in an hour. Let me get my sword."

Andrew1911 entered his massive castle and picked up Schwang, his massive sword that is not compensating for any small thing on his body... It's what you do with it, I say. I mean, if you can fuck really good, does it matter if it's only three inches? God dammit, I know I made you orgasm, Kathy! Oh, yeah, sorry. Anyway, Andrew1911 walked up to his consogolarie, LCK. Andrew1911 said, "LCK, what do you think the chances we can destroy Nsider today?" LCK said, "Pretty high. We can easily defeat them with the troops and since we're attacking the NOA Andy chat room, it'll be even easier." Andrew1911 smiled, "You get to stay back and enjoy some tea, LCK. You've earned it. Now, I have to be evil somewhere else. See ya."

Kaz screamed, "TROOPS! ARE YOU READY TO DESCEND UPON THE NOA ANDY AND RAPE HIM TO DEATH?" The troops screamed, "SIR, YES, SIR!" Kaz said, "Excellent. OPEN THE LINK!" The troops charged into the link and found themselves smack dab in the middle of the Ask NOA Andy chat room. As NOA Andy saw these troops descened upon him, he shit himself. He screamed, "FUCKING PROTECT ME, JACK!" NOA Jack leaped into the room and screamed, "I'M GUNNNA EAT YOU GOOD, BITCH!" See, NOA Jack is 300 feet tall and has a hankering for eating people. He grabbed a fistful of soliders and ate them whole. Kaz said, "Fuck you, fucker!" Kaz leaped into the air right into Jack's mouth. He grabbed his sword and cut Jack's tongue in half. Kaz leapt back out while flipping him the bird.

Jack tried to curse Kaz off but half of his tongue was missing. He swallowed his tongue and began to choke on it. He couldn't stop it. He fell down and died. One troop pissed on him for revenge for his fallen comrade. The troop said, "This is for you, Jeffery..." NOA Andy was all alone in a corner. Andrew1911 finally came through the link with Schwang. Andrew1911 said, "Ah, Mr. Andy... How are you doing? Not too well, I see... See, I'm taking control of the internet, now. This is my zone. Outsider and Boyah are small potatoes compared to Nsider, Andy... With your death, I take control of Nsider, a large site. Can you see the possibilities here? I can do so many things with this power..."

Andy interrupted, "You're a sick fuck..." Andrew1911 ran over to Andy and began to choke him. He screamed, "DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING INTERRUPT, MY FUCKING MONOLOGUE OR I DECIDE NOT TO GIVE YOU A SWIFT AND PAINLESS DEATH AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN FUCKING TESTICLES, YOU SHITFUCK!" Andrew1911 let go of NOA Andy and began talking again, "Now, as I was saying, with this power, I could be the biggest filmmaker who ever was... I could also just rule the world... I'll do both. Now, about your death, I'm going to have to do the testicle thing because you interrupted me and called me a sick fuck. You only have yourself to blame, Andy..."

Andrew1911 grabbed Schwang and cut off Andy's testicles. Andy screamed in pain before they were forced down this throat. Amazingly, Andy didn't choke on them. Andrew said, "Huh. Usually chokes you. Well, you're in pain so I guess just cutting your head off isn't that bad..." Andrew1911 chopped Andy's head off and handed it to Kaz. Andrew1911 said, "Kaz, you did a great job out there so you deserve a high five and a trophy. The trophy is the head and I am ready to initate a high five." Andrew1911 high fived Kaz and was about to walk through the portal when Kaz asked, "Andrew, who are we attacking next?"

Andrew1911 smiled and said, "Everyone, my dear, Kaz... You'll have to be more specific." Kaz said, "Like, the one after this one? Who?" Andrew1911 said, "We'll be attacking something that shall be difficult to attack. 4chan... We'll have to just kill it since it's impossible to destroy from the inside. Also, Kaz, kill everyone who goes to Nsider. They're all retarded and I don't them assiociated with me. Anyway, I'm going home. I need to wash the blood out of my cashmere sweater."

[Samus Aran]

4chan? That's...that's impossible? However can we accomplish such a deed? 

[Andrew1911]

4chan? That's...that's impossible? However can we accomplish such a deed? 

Maybe, if more people commented, we would know.  kratos;

[Silverhawk79]

Needs moar me. awesome;
Eh, your grammar and stuff needs work. cop;
AND CUT DOWN ON THE ELLIPSES.

[The Oggmonster]

Aww I died.  dawkins;

[NYY3085]

"A heartwarming tale...about Andrew1911..."
"Charming..."
"A must-read..."
"Two thumbs WAY up!"
"A_A"

Next chapter, please.  v;

[Andrew1911]

Needs moar me. awesome;
Eh, your grammar and stuff needs work. cop;
AND CUT DOWN ON THE ELLIPSES.

You're dead.

[Silverhawk79]

Needs moar me. awesome;
Eh, your grammar and stuff needs work. cop;
AND CUT DOWN ON THE ELLIPSES.

You're dead.

I could survive in some stupid plot twist. |::|

[Andrew1911]

Needs moar me. awesome;
Eh, your grammar and stuff needs work. cop;
AND CUT DOWN ON THE ELLIPSES.

You're dead.

I could survive in some stupid plot twist. |::|

Only Andrew1911 can do that, nub.

[Silverhawk79]

Needs moar me. awesome;
Eh, your grammar and stuff needs work. cop;
AND CUT DOWN ON THE ELLIPSES.

You're dead.

I could survive in some stupid plot twist. |::|

Only Andrew1911 can do that, nub.

Fine. :|:|:|:|

[UnagiPower]

Your stories are epic and quite entertaining  caterpie;

[Andrew1911]

Chapter Two: The Delicious Taste of Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches

Andrew1911 went back to his mansion in Outsider. He entered through the front door and suddenly had a craving for the rich taste of Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches which are conveintly available in your local grocery store. They're having a sale for two for one... One dollar for the crisp, refreshing taste of two chocolate bars, holding the mouth watering vanilla ice cream in between them? How can you resist? Andrew1911 went to his fridge to take out one. As he began to unwrap the bar, his mouth began to water... He could taste it in his mouth... His penis became a little erect. He felt something thick on the back of his head too.

No, not that head. Andrew1911 felt a gun to the back of his head. Andrew1911 said, "Listen, man... Before you shoot, I have one final request... Can I eat this Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwich?" The intruder said, "Wait, you have Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches? We can wait to kill you, for now." The intruder and Andrew1911 sat at a table as they enjoyed the brilliant flavor of chocolate and vanilla. Andrew1911 could not see who the intruder is since he wore all black and a mask covered his face.

They finished their ice cream sandwiches and the intruder said, "Yum. That was delicious. Seconds!" The two ate another pack of Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches. The intruder said, "I cannot eat any other Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwich, conveintly available in grocery stores across the world. So, you know what that means..." The intruder shot Andrew1911 and he fell to the floor. The intruder tied up his wrists and legs so he could not escape and dragged him to the van. The intruder left a note on the door for Kaz to find when he returned.

Andrew1911 was kidnapped.

Now, for a special announcement from your anti-hero, Andrew1911... "No, I did not have sex with a monkey! Oh, I didn't see you there. Come on in! Now, on the set of Boyah Gets Evil, we love to have tons of laughs but, sometimes, we have to get serious. Did you know that the cool, refreshing taste of Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches is being unnoticed by the general population? Only you can help solve this problem by buying crates of the stuff. Remember, it's delicious, people."

This episode has been brought to you by Mountain House Ice Cream Sandwiches. They're icetastic!