I need a way to get out of going to church

[Bushy]

Shitsux. My mother makes me go despite me saying straight to her face that I hate it.

She even made me sit with the pastor and have him talk to me about why I should go.

But it fucking suuuuuucks

[Oh]

 Tell her the pastor touches you. 

[Bushy]

Tell her the pastor touches you. 

Nah too controversial

[Oh]

 Or just tell her "I don't think a magic man exists  , so I don't think I should go anymore".

[Smell Memory]

Act white

[ME##]

Or just tell her "I don't think a magic man exists  , so I don't think I should go anymore".

'scuse me u cant prove that he dont not exist

[Socks]

Look square into her eyes with a determined body posture and stern face and say that you're perfectly capable of making informed and proper moral decisions in life, while having a peaceful, settled, and content conscience. Even if you do not go to church for the purpose of hearing allegorical and metaphorical fiction. If she's persistent tell her you do not need a medium to help you connect with a higher spiritual being. Otherwise just don't go, she can't physically make you go. We all draw lines in the sand at one time or another, don't be afraid to do so.

Make sure you're passionate when you say your peace, lots of hand gestures with proper enunciation and emotional emphasis.

[Bushy]

I'll try whatr you said, Socks.

And great fucking news, now I have to help with some Church Yard Sale at... wait for it... wait for it... 5:00 AM.

This is complete bullshit.

[Selkie]

Tell her you have better things to be doing, like studying rigorously for your school tests

[Samus Aran]

Tell her that your religiousness is between you and God and she shouldn't interfere with that relationship.

Christians like that excuse.

[Chris (JayJay)]

'scuse me u cant prove that he dont not exist

can't prove he exists

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

Shit yourself in church.

She'll never take you anywhere again.

[Chris (JayJay)]

Praise Satan!

[sans culottes]

My mom is a bigoted bitch. The easiest way for me to deal with this is to suck it in and go to church for an hour every week, because in two years I won't have to do this anymore.

But every priests who's ever been at my church has always been very laid back and joking, so it's all good.

[Andria]

Tell her that god told you to stop going to church and unless she wants to question his will then you shouldn't go