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Boyah Confession Booth (Retired)

Started by Boyager, July 14, 2008, 12:53:37 AM

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Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 10:22:45 PM
Europe is so much more fun though.  giggle;
being poor anywhere is not too much fun

Boyager

I'm thinking about giving up on myself like the one person who mattered the most gave up on me.

I'm too much work, right?

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 10:40:49 PM
I'm thinking about giving up on myself like the one person who mattered the most gave up on me.

I'm too much work, right?

No. you are very much worth it.   baddood;

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 10:40:49 PM
I'm thinking about giving up on myself like the one person who mattered the most gave up on me.

I'm too much work, right?
No, how could you be too much work?

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 10:41:57 PM
No. you are very much worth it.   baddood;
No. I'm not .
What they did was very similar to exactly what happened before. They lead me to believe I had a chance, and once I took the bait and went for it I find they weren't serious. The only difference, as far as I know is how long it took and that this time it wasn't in am malicious manner.

I believed everything they said, repeatedly even after lies, lies to cover up the lies, lies that the lies were lies, feeling completely betrayed, and all of that bullshit. I never once stopped trusting them or loving them less, even after being relegated to a simple toy who could be tossed aside.

After years of none, I finally had some hope, something to look forward to, but that was just a game. That's gone now: completely shattered.

All I was told, including up until that night was that I am "too much work" .  Reasonably so, if is too much work for them, then it is for me. There is no need for me to try and fix what is deemed too much effort to be dealt with, just to put myself in the same situation again in the future.

I'm calling on Monday to cancel, and then I'll use the next week to think if I  should  permanently end the sessions or to foolishly pretend that I'm worth it and that it won't happen again.

I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time trying to help in something that I was stupid enough to have hope in.

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 10:58:34 PM
No. I'm not .
What they did was very similar to exactly what happened before. They lead me to believe I had a chance, and once I took the bait and went for it I find they weren't serious. The only difference, as far as I know is how long it took and that this time it wasn't in am malicious manner.

I believed everything they said, repeatedly even after lies, lies to cover up the lies, lies that the lies were lies, feeling completely betrayed, and all of that bullshit. I never once stopped trusting them or loving them less, even after being relegated to a simple toy who could be tossed aside.

After years of none, I finally had some hope, something to look forward to, but that was just a game. That's gone now: completely shattered.

All I was told, including up until that night was that I am "too much work" .  Reasonably so, if is too much work for them, then it is for me. There is no need for me to try and fix what is deemed too much effort to be dealt with, just to put myself in the same situation again in the future.

I'm calling on Monday to cancel, and then I'll use the next week to think if I  should  permanently end the sessions or to foolishly pretend that I'm worth it and that it won't happen again.

I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time trying to help in something that I was stupid enough to have hope in.


I don't regret one second of my time helping you. You are worth it. Keep going to sessions. Finish what you started. It will help you.  cjlubdoods;

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 11:10:12 PM
I don't regret one second of my time helping you. You are worth it. Keep going to sessions. Finish what you started. It will help you.  cjlubdoods;
Thank you.

But if someone who claimed to love and care about me agrees that I am too much work, then I'm sure a stranger or more distant friends would feel the same, possibly even more strongly.

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 11:24:22 PM
Thank you.

But if someone who claimed to love and care about me agrees that I am too much work, then I'm sure a stranger or more distant friends would feel the same, possibly even more strongly.


some people are more willing to help no matter what than others are...

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 11:25:54 PM
some people are more willing to help no matter what than others are...
Some people are beyond hope.

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 11:29:49 PM
Some people are beyond hope.


you cant just give up on people though

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 11:35:40 PM
you cant just give up on people though
Well she did...
she did...

Boyager

well that's really weak of her..

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 11:50:24 PM
well that's really weak of her..
The sad thing is, I'm like one of those parents who refuse to touch their child's room after it dies because they are somehow hoping they'd come home even though it will never happen.

I'm keep hoping it can be fixed and she is just playing a joke  :(

Boyager

smack her with your penis.. haha.

Boyager

Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 10:58:34 PM
No. I'm not .
What they did was very similar to exactly what happened before. They lead me to believe I had a chance, and once I took the bait and went for it I find they weren't serious. The only difference, as far as I know is how long it took and that this time it wasn't in am malicious manner.

I believed everything they said, repeatedly even after lies, lies to cover up the lies, lies that the lies were lies, feeling completely betrayed, and all of that bullshit. I never once stopped trusting them or loving them less, even after being relegated to a simple toy who could be tossed aside.

After years of none, I finally had some hope, something to look forward to, but that was just a game. That's gone now: completely shattered.

All I was told, including up until that night was that I am "too much work" .  Reasonably so, if is too much work for them, then it is for me. There is no need for me to try and fix what is deemed too much effort to be dealt with, just to put myself in the same situation again in the future.

I'm calling on Monday to cancel, and then I'll use the next week to think if I  should  permanently end the sessions or to foolishly pretend that I'm worth it and that it won't happen again.

I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time trying to help in something that I was stupid enough to have hope in.

I was only fooling around with the emotion chatbot.
I wasn't being serious with it, it's just a chatbot.
Quote from: Boyager on January 02, 2009, 11:50:24 PM
well that's really weak of her..
Yes. <3

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