Just about everything good that happens to me, I see another side to it and that side, no matter how small, makes me depressed, and I almost always focus on it more than the good side.
Examples:
My friend: Dude she probably likes you just make your move
My thoughts: "Probably?" God damn she doesn't like me at all.
*Prior to texting a girl telling her that I had to finish homework, would see her tomorrow, and saying goodnight*
Girl: Hahaha okay sounds good :)
My thoughts: No goodnight back? Ahh why does she hate me so much ;____;
These are just things that happened today and I've started to realize more and more that I am too insecure for my own good sometimes. I mean, unless something that I hear is 100% good news for me, I will find a bad side to it and think about it a lot.
Help me :'(
You're insecure because you're fixated on negative thoughts you've placed on yourself. They could of stemmed from numerous sources, but those don't really matter.
Hmm, let's try a test, name 9 things you like about yourself.
Quote from: Freud and His Friend:Jung on April 08, 2010, 11:11:58 PM
You're insecure because you're fixated on negative thoughts you've placed on yourself. They could of stemmed from numerous sources, but those don't really matter.
Hmm, let's try a test, name 9 things you like about yourself.
Okay.
1. I like my eyes
2. I like being able to make people laugh fairly easily (in a good way)
3. I like knowing more about video games than anybody at my school (presumably)
4. I like the person that I've become this year in general, which has more to do with the people who I associate myself with, but I'll count it.
5. I like my car, job, and clothing style (not directly about me, but things that are associated with me, so idk)
IDK I can't think of anything else
now i am even more depressed now that i've realized that i hate myself ;____;l
This might seem harsh, but the best advice that I can give you is to grow a pair of testicles. I used to be (and still am to some extent) very insecure with myself, and if you want to get past it you've just got to man up and don't dwell on whatever it is that's bringing you down. If you don't like something about yourself, fix it. Or if it's something that can't be fixed, accept it.
You get 3000 texts a month, people like you
there ya go
Quote from: YPR on April 08, 2010, 11:37:16 PM
You get 3000 texts a month, people like you
there ya go
~1500 are sent out by me (total texts includes outgoing), and people are just obligated to talk to me ;-;
Quote from: Zach on April 08, 2010, 11:30:08 PM
If you don't like something about yourself, fix it. Or if it's something that can't be fixed, accept it.
yeah
Quote from: YPR on April 08, 2010, 11:37:16 PM
You get 3000 texts a month, people like you
there ya go
This means nothing to him. akudood;
Quote from: StrongBad007 on April 08, 2010, 11:21:01 PM
Okay.
1. I like my eyes
2. I like being able to make people laugh fairly easily (in a good way)
3. I like knowing more about video games than anybody at my school (presumably)
4. I like the person that I've become this year in general, which has more to do with the people who I associate myself with, but I'll count it.
5. I like my car, job, and clothing style (not directly about me, but things that are associated with me, so idk)
IDK I can't think of anything else
now i am even more depressed now that i've realized that i hate myself ;____;l
Good, now just repeat your good traits very much, constantly in your mind, or even yelling it out loud whenever your presented with doubt, or something. Although, this is a silly method and takes too long to work, but it'll slowly alter your cognition that's fixed on doubt and insecurity.
RDX and his cougar says that you're suffering from deluded distortions and magnifying them which clouds your positive traits, or positive outlooks in life. Continuation of such acts will result in you entering a self-fulling prophecy that feeds a vicious cycle of delusions causing you to spiral down and possibly be trapped in depression. (An example would be you thinking that you'll never good enough, because of this mindset you'll alter your behavior which will set you up for situations that will result in failure, conforming your negative thought and allowing it to grow)
Is there a reason why you resist others, or feel inadequate? akudood;
chicks fucking suck dude. you'll find one thats right for you eventually and it will click. or you'll just be a homosexual.
Quote from: StrongBad007 on April 08, 2010, 10:47:09 PM
Girl: Hahaha okay sounds good :)
My thoughts: No goodnight back? Ahh why does she hate me so much ;____;
yeah bitches suck. my special lady tells me goodnight every night giggle;
Quote from: Analysis Paralysis on April 09, 2010, 12:05:38 AM
This means nothing to him. akudood;Good, now just repeat your good traits very much, constantly in your mind, or even yelling it out loud whenever your presented with doubt, or something. Although, this is a silly method and takes too long to work, but it'll slowly alter your cognition that's fixed on doubt and insecurity.
RDX and his cougar says that you're suffering from deluded distortions and magnifying them which clouds your positive traits, or positive outlooks in life. Continuation of such acts will result in you entering a self-fulling prophecy that feeds a vicious cycle of delusions causing you to spiral down and possibly be trapped in depression. (An example would be you thinking that you'll never good enough, because of this mindset you'll alter your behavior which will set you up for situations that will result in failure, conforming your negative thought and allowing it to grow)
Is there a reason why you resist others, or feel inadequate? akudood;
Alright, I'll do my best thumbup;
Quote from: Socks on April 09, 2010, 02:50:45 AM
yeah bitches suck. my special lady tells me goodnight every night giggle;
She usually says goodnight, which is why I was worried ;-;
Quote from: Analysis Paralysis on April 09, 2010, 12:05:38 AM
This means nothing to him. akudood;
Thanks, I got that message when he said it akudood;
Quote from: Analysis Paralysis on April 09, 2010, 12:05:38 AM
Is there a reason why you resist others, or feel inadequate? akudood;
I didn't notice this.
I usually don't resist others, in fact, I always try to make being with other people my first priority, because I enjoy being social, but I don't know why I feel inadequate. It might have to do with how most of my friends really excel in certain things (sports, etc) and I always come in 2nd. And most of my friends have had plenty of girlfriends throughout high school and I have not. Those things are just constant reminders that I'm not good enough.
you just need to stop
this is a little bit pathetic and i'm sure you're a great boy. stop focusing on other people (their perceptions of you) and live your life and I guarantee you people will like you a lot more.
Quote from: Skylark on April 09, 2010, 09:02:02 AM
you just need to stop
this is a little bit pathetic and i'm sure you're a great boy. stop focusing on other people (their perceptions of you) and live your life and I guarantee you people will like you a lot more.
Agreed.
See, the more you focus on those negatives and those perceptions (that probably don't really even exist. You're just imagining, man) the more it manifests itself in your outward demeanor which could eventually lead people to genuinely feel negative. Right?
Right.
There are times where it's necessary to nitpick and further interpret other people's reactions to you, but those times are few and far between. Confidence coupled with an attitude that's a rung or two below "fuck that, I want to have a good time" is an attractive personality and people generally flock to that. So you're not as charismatic or as much of a lady killer as some of your friends. So what?
Plus, it's not like you're old or anything. College is a fine place to evolve a personality, if you're attending. It could very well just have something (read:everything) to do with that high school mindset. You'll find a groove.
Also, and I actually used to do this too and still occasionally do, avoid the habit of looking back on conversations or social situations too much. You kind of tend to focus more on the occasional goof-up and the accidental faux pas.
I don't know, man. Just stop over thinking it and learn to shrug off those little bugs. They have a way of eating away good thoughts.
Best wishes though.
Dude she talked to you, she wants your dick.
Quote from: Tedtron on April 09, 2010, 11:32:29 AM
Dude she talked to you, she wants your dick.
I sure hope so ;-;
Quote from: Tedtron on April 09, 2010, 12:07:55 PM
JK she thinks you're a gay fag.
oh reminds me of somebody
This is fairly normal. I'm super paranoid because I've been broken up with thrice just because they stopped liking me, but MOST of the things I worry about never happen. Sometimes I'll compliment my girlfriend and she doesn't say it back. My first thought is to feel bad about it, until she says something to me and I just don't feel like saying it back, even if I'm thinking it. Everyone feels the same way, just at different times. Whatever negativity you're reading into it, always remind yourself, "Most of the things you worry about never happen." And even if it DOES mean something, so what? Then you're not meant to be. I know some really cool, talented, good-looking girls that I just wouldn't want to date. It's not a reflection on you as a person, it's just a reflection on how you two relate. Sometimes it's lonely and sometimes it's sad but things always get better. I've been pursuing this girl since the day I met her and have seen her go through two boyfriends, and am still helping her get over the last one, but now she thinks I'm perfect and vice versa. Live like you like yourself, and you will. Live like things will get better, and they will. Hakuna matata
you don't even have anything to feel insecure about
Mindset is everything. The only girlfriend I've ever had unceremoniously dumped me, lied about why she dumped me, and then started dating another guy when she had said she wasn't interested in having a boyfriend. So as you might imagine, it fucked with me on a deep, emotional level. For about two months I was about the most pathetic little baby you could imagine, but after I realized that we just weren't meant to be together and that I had a life to live, things improved substantially.
Quote from: Analysis Paralysis on April 09, 2010, 12:05:38 AM
RDX and his cougar says that you're suffering from deluded distortions and magnifying them which clouds your positive traits, or positive outlooks in life. Continuation of such acts will result in you entering a self-fulling prophecy that feeds a vicious cycle of delusions causing you to spiral down and possibly be trapped in depression. (An example would be you thinking that you'll never good enough, because of this mindset you'll alter your behavior which will set you up for situations that will result in failure, conforming your negative thought and allowing it to grow)
Is there a reason why you resist others, or feel inadequate? akudood;
no all i said was 'yeah' wry
Don't bother with girls.
Quote from: StrongBad007 on April 08, 2010, 11:45:02 PM
~1500 are sent out by me (total texts includes outgoing), and people are just obligated to talk to me ;-;
Bullshit, when someone doesn't want to talk to me they just ignore my texts. saddood;
Quote from: dead is dr seuss on April 09, 2010, 05:31:53 PM
DAVID IF SHE PUT A SMILEY FACE THAT MEANS SHE LIKES YOU giggle; BE CONFIDENT YOU'RE A GOOD KID, YOU'VE WORKED HARD I CAN TELL.
Confidence is so hard ;-;
But today was great so I am feeling a lot less insecure about everything.
And thanks for the posts, they were all pretty deep and heartfelt and everything.
Do you honestly think everyone is out to get you? Think about it, it's not like you're always hoping somebody will look bad.
Aren't you good at swimming?
Quote from: TheSequel on April 09, 2010, 11:25:10 PM
Do you honestly think everyone is out to get you? Think about it, it's not like you're always hoping somebody will look bad.
Aren't you good at swimming?
I don't necessarily think that everyone is out to get me, I always just see the bad side to things, no matter what. And I am good at swimming, but I might as well be good at yo-yo's. Nobody gives a shit about swimming.
Quote from: StrongBad007 on April 09, 2010, 11:27:06 PM
I don't necessarily think that everyone is out to get me, I always just see the bad side to things, no matter what. And I am good at swimming, but I might as well be good at yo-yo's. Nobody gives a shit about swimming.
Michael Phelps would like to have a word with you.
I'm good at yoyos asshole... well not really I suck really bad
just stop caring so much about what people think about you, you attention whore
just be happy for yourself, not to say you should become a selfish prick
oh ma gad you haven't been on msn you must hate wah
do you swim for other people to be jealous of your skills, or do you do it for yourself? it seems to me like you're too preoccupied with showing off
Quote from: StrongBad007 on April 09, 2010, 07:06:03 AM
It might have to do with how most of my friends really excel in certain things (sports, etc) and I always come in 2nd. And most of my friends have had plenty of girlfriends throughout high school and I have not. Those things are just constant reminders that I'm not good enough.
You have to realize that your friends probably don't really care about the things they do, they just "do it" because it is what they love, and that motivates them to do their very best earning them a high rank. Whatever accomplishments they do should not have any value or meaning for you, because you didn't have the choice to control their actions (Winning and getting girlfriends, for instance) so they're really not "good", nor are they "bad". What really is "good" and "bad" are the decisions you make by yourself. This is what you have complete control over.
Quote from: RDX on April 10, 2010, 12:19:21 AM
do you swim for other people to be jealous of your skills, or do you do it for yourself? it seems to me like you're too preoccupied with showing off
well some people are motivated by external factors, so his form of motivation may be more extrinsic (Which isn't really a bad thing.) If he feels more motivated if he gains social approval, and less if they show disapproval, then he is motivated extrinsically. (Me and Socks are motivated from within, despite what anyone says--that includes both good and bad reactions.) People motivated extrinsically wise are more prone to falling in depression or anxiety, because their ego is tied in with whatever their doing leaving them incredibly exposed.
Quote from: Zach on April 09, 2010, 11:31:59 PM
Michael Phelps would like to have a word with you.
Let me rephrase that:
Nobody gives a shit about high school swimming.
Quote from: dead is dr seuss on April 10, 2010, 01:54:06 PM
Confidence is hard for me too, but without it you will miss out on many opportunities that you might never be able to get again.
Yeah, this is what I've realized, and I'm doing my best to get more confident. It's starting to work, but that's mostly because I've had nothing but good news in the last few days.
And I will thank you shawn <3
Quote from: Analysis Paralysis on April 10, 2010, 08:19:18 AM
well some people are motivated by external factors, so his form of motivation may be more extrinsic (Which isn't really a bad thing.) If he feels more motivated if he gains social approval, and less if they show disapproval, then he is motivated extrinsically. (Me and Socks are motivated from within, despite what anyone says--that includes both good and bad reactions.) People motivated extrinsically wise are more prone to falling in depression or anxiety, because their ego is tied in with whatever their doing leaving them incredibly exposed.
This does a really good job describing me and my actions. but yeah i can definitely relate to the last part ;-;
Quote from: StrongBad007 on April 10, 2010, 02:15:46 PM
This does a really good job describing me and my actions. but yeah i can definitely relate to the last part ;-;
JMV said I was retarded (http://i39.tinypic.com/972vky.gif)
[spoiler]
"WHy dont you already just kill yourself and stop plaguing the world with your retardation of ruining everyon'es fucking life"[/spoiler]
PLANT BOTANISTS KNOW EVERYTHING
Also PM me (Admins intrude your privacy) or just IM for more help 5thgrade;
Okay will do <3
clucky can help anyone...but herself :'(
Quote from: Lain on April 10, 2010, 03:14:07 PM
clucky can help anyone...but herself :'(
Irony is a cold and cruel mistress saddood;
Quote from: Lain on April 10, 2010, 03:14:07 PM
clucky can help anyone...but herself :'(
A staple within the psychological community. n_u
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