Help me be less insecure

[strongbad]

Just about everything good that happens to me, I see another side to it and that side,  no matter how small, makes me depressed, and I almost always focus on it more than the good side.

Examples:
My friend: Dude she probably likes you just make your move
My thoughts: "Probably?" God damn she doesn't like me at all.

*Prior to texting a girl telling her that I had to finish homework, would see her tomorrow, and saying goodnight*
Girl: Hahaha okay sounds good :)
My thoughts: No goodnight back? Ahh why does she hate me so much ;____;

These are just things that happened today and I've started to realize more and more that I am too insecure for my own good sometimes. I mean, unless something that I hear is 100% good news for me, I will find a bad side to it and think about it a lot.

Help me  :'(

[??????]

You're insecure because you're fixated on negative thoughts you've placed on yourself. They could of stemmed from numerous sources, but those don't really matter.

Hmm, let's try a test, name 9 things you like about yourself.

[strongbad]

You're insecure because you're fixated on negative thoughts you've placed on yourself. They could of stemmed from numerous sources, but those don't really matter.

Hmm, let's try a test, name 9 things you like about yourself.

Okay.
1. I like my eyes
2. I like being able to make people laugh fairly easily (in a good way)
3. I like knowing more about video games than anybody at my school (presumably)
4. I like the person that I've become this year in general, which has more to do with the people who I associate myself with, but I'll count it.
5. I like my car, job, and clothing style (not directly about me, but things that are associated with me, so idk)

IDK I can't think of anything else
now i am even more depressed now that i've realized that i hate myself ;____;l

[Zach]

This might seem harsh, but the best advice that I can give you is to grow a pair of testicles. I used to be (and still am to some extent) very insecure with myself, and if you want to get past it you've just got to man up and don't dwell on whatever it is that's bringing you down. If you don't like something about yourself, fix it. Or if it's something that can't be fixed, accept it.

[YPrrrr]

You get 3000 texts a month, people like you

there ya go

[strongbad]

You get 3000 texts a month, people like you

there ya go

~1500 are sent out by me (total texts includes outgoing), and people are just obligated to talk to me ;-;

[rdl]

If you don't like something about yourself, fix it. Or if it's something that can't be fixed, accept it.

yeah

[??????]

You get 3000 texts a month, people like you

there ya go

This means nothing to him.  

Okay.
1. I like my eyes
2. I like being able to make people laugh fairly easily (in a good way)
3. I like knowing more about video games than anybody at my school (presumably)
4. I like the person that I've become this year in general, which has more to do with the people who I associate myself with, but I'll count it.
5. I like my car, job, and clothing style (not directly about me, but things that are associated with me, so idk)

IDK I can't think of anything else
now i am even more depressed now that i've realized that i hate myself ;____;l

Good, now just repeat your good traits very much, constantly in your mind, or even yelling it out loud whenever your presented with doubt, or something. Although, this is a silly method and takes too long to work, but it'll slowly alter your cognition that's fixed on doubt and insecurity.

RDX and his cougar says that you're suffering from deluded distortions and magnifying them which clouds your positive traits, or positive outlooks in life. Continuation of such acts will result in you entering a self-fulling prophecy that feeds a vicious cycle of delusions causing you to spiral down and possibly be trapped in depression. (An example would be you thinking that you'll never good enough, because of this mindset you'll alter your behavior which will set you up for situations that will result in failure, conforming your negative thought and allowing it to grow)

Is there a reason why you resist others, or feel inadequate?  

[C.Mongler]

chicks fucking suck dude. you'll find one thats right for you eventually and it will click. or you'll just be a homosexual.

[Socks]

Girl: Hahaha okay sounds good :)
My thoughts: No goodnight back? Ahh why does she hate me so much ;____;

yeah bitches suck. my special lady tells me goodnight every night   

[strongbad]

This means nothing to him.  akudood;Good, now just repeat your good traits very much, constantly in your mind, or even yelling it out loud whenever your presented with doubt, or something. Although, this is a silly method and takes too long to work, but it'll slowly alter your cognition that's fixed on doubt and insecurity.

RDX and his cougar says that you're suffering from deluded distortions and magnifying them which clouds your positive traits, or positive outlooks in life. Continuation of such acts will result in you entering a self-fulling prophecy that feeds a vicious cycle of delusions causing you to spiral down and possibly be trapped in depression. (An example would be you thinking that you'll never good enough, because of this mindset you'll alter your behavior which will set you up for situations that will result in failure, conforming your negative thought and allowing it to grow)

Is there a reason why you resist others, or feel inadequate? 

Alright, I'll do my best

yeah bitches suck. my special lady tells me goodnight every night   

She usually says goodnight, which is why I was worried ;-;

[YPrrrr]

This means nothing to him.  

Thanks, I got that message when he said it

[strongbad]

Is there a reason why you resist others, or feel inadequate? 

I didn't notice this.
I usually don't resist others, in fact, I always try to make being with other people my first priority, because I enjoy being social, but I don't know why I feel inadequate. It might have to do with how most of my friends really excel in certain things (sports, etc) and I always come in 2nd. And most of my friends have had plenty of girlfriends throughout high school and I have not. Those things are just constant reminders that I'm not good enough.

[Skylark]

you just need to stop
this is a little bit pathetic and i'm sure you're a great boy. stop focusing on other people (their perceptions of you) and live your life and I guarantee you people will like you a lot more.

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

you just need to stop
this is a little bit pathetic and i'm sure you're a great boy. stop focusing on other people (their perceptions of you) and live your life and I guarantee you people will like you a lot more.

Agreed.
See, the more you focus on those negatives and those perceptions (that probably don't really even exist. You're just imagining, man) the more it manifests itself in your outward demeanor which could eventually lead people to genuinely feel negative. Right?

Right.

There are times where it's necessary to nitpick and further interpret other people's reactions to you, but those times are few and far between. Confidence coupled with an attitude that's a rung or two below "fuck that, I want to have a good time" is an attractive personality and people generally flock to that. So you're not as charismatic or as much of a lady killer as some of your friends. So what?

Plus, it's not like you're old or anything. College is a fine place to evolve a personality, if you're attending. It could very well just have something (read:everything) to do with that high school mindset. You'll find a groove.

Also, and I actually used to do this too and still occasionally do, avoid the habit of looking back on conversations or social situations too much. You kind of tend to focus more on the occasional goof-up and the accidental faux pas.

I don't know, man. Just stop over thinking it and learn to shrug off those little bugs. They have a way of eating away good thoughts.

Best wishes though.