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The Finale To Two Fresh Cops

Started by Andrew1911, July 16, 2007, 12:49:24 PM

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Andrew1911


V

im so fucking badass in that part. luv u andrews.  caterpie;

Andrew1911

Chapter Fifteen: Commodore Guff Tattles

Drumroll, please.

No drumroll? How about a fingertap roll?

That doesn't fit out budget?

Golf clap? No?

Just get it done?

But, I want to make them wait. Look at them...

Eagerly scrolling down the page to see what Commodore Guff says...

Wait, you mean they haven't read a thing and they've just been reading the final sentence?

You mean no one likes me?

WELL, FUCK THEM! I DON'T NEED THEM!

I do? Alright, fine... I'll say it... For the hardcore fans.

Commodore Guff cleared his throat and said, "It is...

KARL101."

Andrew1911

Chapter Sixteen: THE ULTIMATE BATTLE

Lawlz uttered, "Sweet Jesus... We've finally found out where he is... Bless you, you wheelchair bound savior! Quick, LCK! To Outsider Tower!" LCK and Lawlz ran out of the building and headed towards IGN Tower. Karl was located on the top floor as Commodore Guff said. The rest of the detectives were in hot pursuit. LCK said, "Lawlz... This is the ultimate battle. Whoever wins this wins the war. We've got to win it, Lawlz... For Trevor. For Reaper. For Boyah. For the city." Lawlz nodded and said, "Let's do it... For Trevor." LCK added, "And?" Lawlz sighed, "And Reaper, Boyah, and the city, I guess..."

Finally, they arrived at Outsider Tower, the tallest building in Boyah City. Randy Karl had purchased a penthouse at the highest floor complete with it's own pool and a heliport. The rest of the detectives arrived. Lawlz debrifed them all and finished with the speech LCK gave in the car. Everyone grabbed their weapons which included 12 gauge shotguns, Uzis, Colt .45s, chainsaws, Russian knives, and a fork. Everyone grabbed their weapons and Kaz said, "Don't worry, Mal... This one's for you, pal... This one's for you..."

They walked in the door when the front desk clerk asked, "Excuse me but do you have a permit to be in here?" JMV grabbed his shotgun and said, "You want my permit? Here's my permit, you clerk bitch." JMV blew the clerk away and smoked a cigar. Everyone stared. JMV said, "Hey, he committied the crime of disturbing the peace. My peace." Everyone laughed and Lawlz said, "Oh, JMV... You slay us." They walked into the elevator and tried to get to the 100th floor. They finally reached the 100th floor after ten minutes of playing paper football.

They walked into Karl's penthouse and LCK screamed, "I'M A COP O-" Karl yelled, "SHUT THE FUCK UP! EVERYONE'S HEARD THAT THIRTY TIMES! GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! I'M INSIDE MY OFFICE AND ONLY I CAN GET IN THERE! GUARDS, BLOW THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE FUCKS!" Bassir was the first to attack. He took out two Uzis and began firing at five henchmen at once. The five henchmen tried to shoot Bassir but he was sliding too fast for them to get him. They collapsed on the floor as Bassir smiled grimly. LCK was the next to come out and he used his twelve gauge shotgun on the henchmen trying to sneak behind him. His brains blew all over Lawlz.

Lawlz screamed, "NOT ON MY GOOD SUIT!" Lawlz took out a fork and began crazily stabbing all of the henchmen. He ran up to a henchmen and used his fork to pluck his eyeball out. Lawlz forced the henchmen to eat the eyeball while the henchmen was still alive. Lawlz laughed, "Tastes good, don't it? How about seconds?" Lawlz plucked out his second eye and forced the henchmen to eat it. The henchmen choked on the second eyeball and died. Lawlz said, "You know, people in third world countries are starving. You better finish it!" Lawlz punched his throat so the eyeball would fall all the way in.

V took out his trusty knives and began to wall run, throwing knives at the henchmen. He hit ten of them in the head while he air kicked a henchmen who fly into the glass which caused him to fall one hundred stories. He didn't survive. Kaz took out two chainsaws and screamed, "I'M GOING TO TAKE MY ANGER ON FOX OUT ON YOU, HENCHMEN!" Kaz cut five henchmen into pink dust while screaming, "INARA! I LOVE YOU!" JMV waited for two henchmen to under him from the second floor. When they were above him, JMV used his machetes to hold their foots in place. While they were stuck, JMV jumped onto the second floor while beating the living shit out of them.

Finally, all the henchmen were killed. Only Karl was left in his office. They all walked up and opened the door. What they saw shocked them. Kaz shit himself. JMV threw up. Lawlz clenched his fists. LCK cried. Bassir bit his lip. V screamed, "WTF!" What they saw was...

Andrew1911

Chapter Seventeen: The Identity

Randy Karl is Michael Bay. Bay laughed at their shock. Bay said, "You're surprised? You fools should have been able to guess when Bay first showed up on the scene. Who wouldn't suspect Michael Bay of dealing drugs in RT City?" The detectives answered in unison, "No one." Bay scoffed, "Please. Bay thought it was fairly obvious." Kaz screamed, "That's because you're the one dealing the drugs, you dumb fuck!" Bay said, "Please, you're probably one of those who liked that dumb 80s cartoon." Bassir screamed, "IT'S NOT DUMB AND THE SHOW IS CALLED TRANSFORMERS, YOU HACK!"

Michael Bay yelled, "MICHAEL BAY IS NOT A HACK! MICHAEL BAY IS ALL! ALL IS MICHAEL BAY! YOU BEST RECOGNIZE!" Michael Bay threw a flash bang grenade. The detectives were blinded. Bay ran to his helicoptor and started it up, laughing all the way. The effects of the flash bang grenade wore off and the detectives ran for the helicoptor. The helicoptor finally lifted off the ground but only two detectives were able to grab onto the landing sticks for the helicoptor: Lawlz and LCK.

Bay screamed, "GIVE UP, YOU TWO! BAY HAS WON!" LCK yelled, "Never! Not as long as slime like you still exists, Bay! The Manojary Clan will be disbanded!" The two got into the helicoptor and realized their guns must've fell out when they hung onto the helicoptor. Bay put the helicoptor on auto-pilot and began to laugh as he turned around. He had a gun in his hand. Bay said, "Who wants to die first?" He aims the gun at Lawlz. Bay asks, "You?" He then aims the gun at LCK. Bay asks, "How about you? Well, I've only got one bullet left in the gun anyway. Looks like I'll have to make the choice." Bay fires.

V

omg fucking awesome. we kick ass.  rock

rofl, lawlz and a fork?

Andrew1911

Chapter Nineteen: The Finale

Bay fired his gun. He had shot Lawlz in the chest. Lawlz struggled to stand up. He grunted and stumbled out of the helicoptor. Bay laughed manically. LCK looked at the falling Lawlz and Bay. LCK had one choice to make. LCK dived out of the helicoptor for Lawlz. Bay screamed, "BAY LIVES AGAIN! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE OUTSIDER, YOU FOOLS!" LCK fell straight towards Lawlz's body and held him. LCK saw the ever approaching water and said, "Lawlz... This sucks."

They hit the water hard. They went about fifty feet underwater. LCK grabbed Lawlz's body and swam for the top. After twenty seconds, they made it back to the surface. LCK struggled to keep Lawlz afloat. Lawlz was breathing slower and slower. Lawlz could barely talk. He uttered, "LCK... Listen to my last words..." LCK was on the verge of crying, "What, Lawlz? What?" Lawlz said, "You know... I lived life poorly. I haven't spent a lot of time with my family..." LCK said, "You have a family?"

Lawlz nodded and said, "Yes... They were barely mentioned in the first paragraph as a lame way to build support for character. But... I must say a few things before I die, LCK... Don't interrupt me... I need you... To kill Michael Bay... Obviously... I wanted to tell you... That you are... Without a doubt... The finest detective I have ever seen... I am glad to be... In the presence... Of someone of your skill capacity... Remember when... You had two guns... A toothpick... In your mouth? That was... Fucking... Awesome... I want... My last words to be... I lived a good life... I only wish... It... Was... Lon... G...e...r..." Lawlz let out his last breath and passed away.

LCK screamed, "BAY! BAY! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" LCK had to use his partner's corpse as an object to use to swim back to shore. LCK threw up from that. Of course, he threw up away from the corpse. LCK saw the helicoptor fly over him. He saw Bay stand up and wave at him. Bay gave him the finger and flew away. LCK bit his lip so hard, he began to bleed. LCK finally swam back to shore and grabbed Lawlz's body. He was going to bring this hero's body back home... Back to Boyah HQ...

Meanwhile, on the helicoptor, Bay was still laughing manically. He called someone on his cell phone. Bay said, "Ah, hello... Yes... They think I'm the leader... Isn't that cute? They don't know you're the leader... I don't think they ever will... I killed that Lawlzjew fellow. I think his partner, LCK, survived. But... He shouldn't be a problem... Goodbye, sir."

Finally, LCK got back to Boyah HQ where the other detectives were at. LCK dropped Lawlz's body and said, "The bastard... He got him... I didn't kill him too... I can't believe it..." The other detectives tried to console him but LCK screamed, "NO! NO! That's it! You all have held me back! You and your fucking laws! I'm resigning from this detective force! I'm going to catch that fucking Bay! Fuck you all!" LCK stormed out of Boyah HQ and threw his badge on the floor. Metalhead said, "Oh, God... Who's going to be the two stars of the story now?"

Three days later, the funeral of James Lawlz began. Lawlz's family, all of the detectives, Reaper, and the higher ups showed up to pay their respects. LCK was not to be found anywhere. Finally, Reaper gave a beautiful eulogy on Lawlz and said, "Lawlz was a heroic detective. He gave his life to save this city from the Outsider Clan. While he may not have succeded, Lawlz has killed many Outsider Soliders, Office, Lietuanaunt, Sergeants, and whatnot... He was a great man. Let us pay our respects." As Lawlz was lowered into his grave, from behind a tree, LCK was watching. LCK wept a tear as he walked away from graveyard. LCK grabbed his gun and went off into the town. At the wake, Kaz asked, "All right, Reaper... Who's going to be the two stars of this show?" Reaper answered, "I cannot say right now. Just pay your respects to Lawlz, Kaz... Just pay your respects..."

Fin

V

Dammit lawlz! nooooo!!1


Must do more. Now. rock

Andrew1911

oh u want sequel

u want to see what happens to genie

too bad

life does not have a problem solver :|

ncba93ivyase


Quote from: ncba93ivyase on June 18, 2014, 07:58:34 PMthis isa great post i will use it in my sig

Kalahari Inkantation


Andrew1911


YPrrrr


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