The Finale To Two Fresh Cops

[Andrew1911]

I apprehended a criminal.

uh wrong

u got him down but he wasnt down

seasoned veternan lawlz had to shoot him in the shoulder to stop him from killing u...

tard

[LCK]

uh wrong

u got him down but he wasnt down

seasoned veternan lawlz had to shoot him in the shoulder to stop him from killing u...

tard

i'm talking about earlier

tard

[Andrew1911]

Chapter Five: The Box Part Deux

Reaper stared at Slim from the window. He said calmly, "Lawlz, we need to interview him and get the answers on the Outsider Clan before anyone hears about this. If IGN knew about this, they'd have my badge and gun on their desk. Get in there. You too, Ieram." LCK said, "Uh, it's LCK, sir." Reaper answered, "Whatever." Reaper stayed at the window and the two detectives entered with Slim's file.

LCK opened the file and said, "Your real name is... Holly Terrance? Pretty lame name for a big time drug dealer." Slim was breathing heavily and said, "Get... Me... To... A... Doctor..." The two laughed. Lawlz said, "Hey, pal, no one knows you're here except for us and the lieutnaunt. You spill the beans and we get you to a doctor. If you don't, you're going to end up in the morgue right with your henchmen. Talk." Slim began to cry and whispered softly, "Can you drop... The charges?"

LCK smiled, "No." Slim slammed his fists and said, "DAMMIT! JUST GET ME TO A DOCTOR! ARGH!" Lawlz ran up to Slim and put his fingers in the bullet hole in his kneecap. Slim screamed in pain, "I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!" Lawlz removed his fingers and said, "If you're going to talk... Then talk." Slim said, "Alright... I'm not the big guy... You know this... I don't know the big guy... I've just heard whispers... I can give you the name... Of... The next... One... Abov... M..."

Slim was fading fast. He was going to black out. LCK grabbed Slim by the collar and screamed, "DAMMIT! I'M A COP ON THE EDGE WHO DOESN'T PLAY BY THE RULES! YOU TELL ME HIS NAME AND I'LL CONSIDER LETTING YOU LIVE TO SEE YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY, YOU SLICE OF SHIT!" Slim managed to utter out a word before going unconscious, "CP." LCK let go of Slim and threw the table over. Lawlz said, "We're going to the archives. We're going to find any mention of something called CP, drugs, and Outsider. Reaper, can you bring this bastard to a hospital?"

[LCK]

ooohh
i'm da bad cop

[Andrew1911]

ooohh
i'm da bad cop

on the edge who doesnt play by the rules  burned;

[Andrew1911]

MORE COMMENTS

[Andrew1911]

Chapter Six: Lawlz's Past

Lawlz and LCK entered the police archives looking for a mention of child porn, Outsiders, and drugs. LCK had something on his mind. He had to tell Lawlz something. LCK asked, "Lawlz... What happened to your last partner?" Lawlz gripped the wall and crushed a bit of the wood off. Lawlz said, "I don't want to talk about." LCK grabbed Lawlz and screamed, "I NEED TO KNOW, DAMMIT! YOU'RE MY PARTNER!"

Lawlz pushed LCK off and yelled, "YOU'RE NOT MY PARTNER! TREVOR WAS MY ONLY PARTNER!" LCK stopped dead in his tracks and said, "Trevor? I remember reading something about him last year." Lawlz said quietly, "Trevor was my old partner. He was a great man." LCK asked, "Was?" Lawlz nodded and said, "Was... I guess I should tell you what happened...

It was five years ago. It was an especially cold day. Trevor and I stepped out of the car in a routine drug bust. I still cared about my job and I actually loved the city. As we exited the car, I had a strange feeling this would not be an ordinary drug bust. I shook it off as we entered inside. We went into this huge warehouse and saw all these dealers everywhere. I don't know what we were thinking, going in without backup... I still regret not picking that reciever up and calling for backup...

We screamed for them to give up and go in quiety. Of course, they didn't. I thought we had it all under control when we got most of them... There were a few left. I started joking with Trevor... That's when it happened. All of a sudden, one of them dived over the container and shot Trevor in the forehead. He laughed. I tried to shoot him but the bastard shot me in the shoulder. He got away. I still remember that cold, heartless laugh... That bastard got away from me. He killed my partner... He killed my partner."

LCK whispered, "Jesus. Wait... Was it the Outsider Clan you tried to bust?" Lawlz nodded and said, "Yes. Those bastards are the reason why my partner is dead. I have a vendetta against them and I will not rest until they are all dead." LCK said, "Lawlz, you may not consider me your partner but I consider you my partner. We're going to get those bastards together. You and me. Now, let's find that thing we're looking for." LCK opened a newspaper and found the answer he was looking for.

LCK pointed to a sentence that said, 'A few of the suspects were captured including a child molester who goes by the alias of Phydeaux.' Lawlz said, "Fantastic. He's behind bars. This will make it much easier for us. Let's go."

[LCK]

I'm two different people.

a child molester who goes by the alias of Phydeaux.

I truly laughed out loud at that, sir.

[Andrew1911]

I'm two different people.

SPLIT PERSONALITY DISORDER

[Andrew1911]

Chapter Seven: Something clever about prison

Lawlz and LCK headed towards the local prison to find Phydeaux. LCK said, "Listen, man... About your old partner... I'm sorry about that." Lawlz said, "Don't be sorry, LCK. Don't be sorry. I'm not going to let that happen again... Partner." LCK smiled. They finally reached the prison and entered. They went up to the warden and asked, "Excuse me but we're looking for a prisoner who went by the alias of Phydeaux. Does he reside here?"

Warden Steal asked, "Reside? No one resides here. We lock 'em down. Reside... Never heard someone refer to holding a criminal in a prison as residing." LCK sighed, "Regardless of the word, is there anyone who went by that alias?" Warden Steal answered, "Yes. He's currently in Cell Block B. You want to question him?" Lawlz nodded and said, "It would only take a few minutes..." Warden Steal said, "Hell, you could interview him in the cell block for all I care. Let's go."

Before they entered the cell block, Warden Steel said, "First, you'll need to deposit your firearms here for the time remaining here." The two deposited their weapons and entered the cell block. They saw dozens of prisoners but one in particular stood out. He had shaved his head and on the top was a swatiska. The Nazi version. LCK joked, "Hey, you think he's a Nazi?" Lawlz chuckled, "You know I'm Jewish, right?" LCK said, "Oh. Well... Um... So, you're rich?" Lawlz laughed, "You're funny." Warden Steal pointed Phydeaux out and it was the one they were making fun of before.

They walked up to him and LCK said, "Well, hello, Phydeaux! How you doin'? You know your buddy? Shady Slim? Well, he's currently in the hospital with a bullet wound in his shoulder and kneecap! Now, I want to know why he said you were above him in the Outsider Clan! See, you're in prison... He's not... That must mean you're doing some business from prison and that is quite illegial. So is dealing drugs and conspiracing to commit murder which is what we suspect you of doing. It's a shame that you won't be able to get out and enjoy fondling the children you oh so love if we prove this in a court of law..."

Phydeaux said, "That made me laugh out loud, fellas... I got some bad news for you two... You came at the worst possible time to interview me. We're going to be having a riot in a few seconds. Sit back and watch the fireworks, gentlemen. I'll make sure you two die." Lawlz and LCK gulped as they saw the prisoners gang up on the cops. One prisoner grabbed a guard's club and beat him to death with it. After the guards were all killed and/or captured, the prisoners piled the tables onto the gates to block the entrance. Lawlz asked, "What do you want?" Phydeaux smiled, "Drop the case, Jew, and I'll consider letting you two live to see tomorrow. I'll let you think about it in a cell. Yo, bitches! Tie these two up and put them in my cell! Make sure you hurt them..."

[LCK]

Only Phydeaux could pull of something like that...

[ncba93ivyase]

Anjew, your stories are much better when they don't revolve around sex. Edit the spelling errors and I'll make sure to have these published onto our homepage.

[Andrew1911]

holy shit chapter eight is fucking epic

lawlz & lck vs. the entire fucking cell block

holy fucking shit

[LCK]

holy shit chapter eight is fucking epic

lawlz & lck vs. the entire fucking cell block

holy fucking shit

wat r u waitin 4

[Andrew1911]

Chapter Eight: Prison Riot: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Beat the Shit out of Prisoners

Lawlz was punched in the chest and his jaw was uppercutted by a member of the Aryan Gang. Lawlz spit out some blood and said, "That the best you got?" The Aryan said, "I've got more, little Jew... But... The boss said to keep you alive till morning. You get off." Lawlz asked, "Where's LCK?" The Aryan smiled, "Oh... He's fine. He's just getting acquainted with some of our prisoners." Lawlz screamed, "Don't you dare fucking hurt my partner!"

Meanwhile, in another cell not too far off, LCK was getting attacked by the Mexican gang and was continously getting punched. He couldn't block so many of them and finally collapsed to the floor. One Mexican said, "Damn, ese! You can't fight for shit!" LCK lay on the ground with a broken nose and numerous cuts. He saw Lawlz in another cell from the ground. He nodded his head. Lawlz nodded back.

Lawlz thought to himself, "Dammit, I've got to get us out of this situation but still get information from Phydeaux. I can't let this case drop. This is for Trevor... And LCK." Lawlz struggled to get out of his bonds but it was impossible. He would have to literally fight with two hands behind his back. He was guarded by that Aryan fuck. Lawlz had an idea... He slowly got up and put his hands out in front. He was to going to strangle that fuck.

Lawlz crept up slowly behind him and when he made it to the Aryan, he put his hands out and got his neck right in between his bonds. He brought him back into the cell and slowly choked him to death. The last thing the Aryan saw was Lawlz smiling, waving goodbye. The Aryan died and Lawlz noticed he had a shiv in his pocket. Lawlz cut his bonds and gave a signal to LCK that he got free. LCK nodded.

Back in LCK's cell, he saw Phydeaux come up to him. Phydeaux grabbed him by his hair and took out a cigarette. Phydeaux lit it up and burnt it into LCK's skin. LCK didn't scream and only grunted. Phydeaux smirked, "Hm... You're tougher than most... So, you're LCK... The new partner for Lawlz. I remember the old one... He was quite slow. I still remember shooting him. Quite enjoyable, mate. Now, looks like I'll have the pleasure of killing you." LCK smiled, "Not if I get you first." Phydeaux said with disgust, "How are you possibly going to get me? I'm Phydeaux, bitch. I'm un-fucking-touchable. I'm the devouer of children." LCK laughed, "Oh, I'll find a way, Steve... I'll find a way... Ha, ha, ha!" Steve backed out, creeped out a bit.

Phydeaux said to one of the Mafia guys, "I want you to rough him a bit more. I want him to be clinging to lfie when I come back. Got it?" The Mafia guy responded, "Hey, I'm from the Mafia! Eh? I'll make sure he's sleeping with the fishes! Capishe?" Phydeaux sighed, "Listen, Frank, you were born in Kansas... You're not from the Mafia... Please, stop with the accent." Frank said sadly, "Y'all don't got to get touchy about it... Well, I'll take out my frustations on that guy..." Frank entered the room with a chair and said, "Prepare to face my anger, y'all!" LCK gulped but he got his hands out of the ropes by using the sharp edge of the bed.

Lawlz watched this and knew he had to spring into action. He grabbed the shiv and jumped from the second floor and screamed, "LISTEN UP! LET LCK AND ME GO AND I WON'T KILL YOU!" The prisoners crowded around and muttered, "Let's rape the Jew." One prisoner tried to dive onto Lawlz but Lawlz shived him as he was in mid-air. Another prisoner tried to attack Lawlz from behind but LCK came onto the scene with a chair and broke it over the prisoner's head. LCK screamed, "LISTEN UP! I'M A COP ON THE EDGE WHO DOESN'T PLAY BY THE RULES! YOU DUMB FUCKS BETTER GIVE UP PHYDEAUX SO WE CAN GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OUTSIDER CLAN! YOU GOT IT?"

The prisoners all responded by trying to gang pile on the two. As the entire cell block descended upon them, LCK remarked, "Well, I tried. Let's get to work." The two rolled away from the pile and grabbed prisoners from the pile. Lawlz grabbed an Aryan and kicked him in the groin. Lawlz said, "There goes your perfect race babies." LCK grabbed one of the Mexicans who beat him up and before punching his face in so much that he became disfigured, LCK said, "You ever see The Man With No Face? Well, when you look in the mirror, that guy will be you." Finally, the two defeated the entire pile. The only one left was Phydeaux who stood watching while smoking a cigarette.

Phydeaux clapped slowly. He said, "Good job, gentlemen... You may have defeated them but you haven't defeated me. I should let you know that I am a master in martial arts." LCK laughed, "Hey, James... You know what this fuck did? He killed Trevor." Phydeaux shit himself as he saw Lawlz's face change from playful to fucking pissed. Lawlz screamed, "YOU KILLED TREVOR? DIE!" Lawlz jumped onto a table and dived into Phydeaux, sending him flying back into a wall. Phydeaux said, "Hey, we can work out a deal!" Lawlz screamed, "NO DEAL! YOUR DEATH IS THE ONLY DEAL!"

Lawlz began to choke Phydeaux. Lawlz smiled but LCK yelled, "LAWLZ! NO! He's a piece of shit but if you kill him in cold blood, you're not any better than him! Also, we need him alive for information." Lawlz let go of Phydeaux. Lawlz spit on him and said, "Who's the next in line?" Phydeaux said quickly, "It's Commodore Guff! Oh, God! Don't hurt me! I need to fondle a child one last time before I die!" Lawlz decided to take one last hit for the road and kicked Phydeaux in the face. Lawlz said, "Let's move it." LCK looked at the numerous prisoners they beat up. He finally said, "Whoa. We kick ass."