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Penis Inspection Thread- a short story.

Started by Boyager, June 25, 2017, 06:53:57 PM

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Colonel Cumalots here for platoon penis performance inspection. First one come forward, take off your shorts. Good. My, that's a fine schnitzel you got there lad, a shame that it's cut, but with girth like that it doesn't really matter now does it? I see promotions for you in the future. Get dressed and get out of here.


Just like the first, take off the shorts. Ah, you're a grower aren't you? Well, c'mon wank it a bit. I said wank it! Good, get hard. Not bad, not great, but not bad. A corpulent bride would be perfectly satisfied with this member. However, I suggest brushing up on some, uh, as you say extracurricular activities to compensate. Now, go to the bathroom and finish yourself off before you get blue balled.

Ne- Oh, you're already ready. My god, this dick is atrocious. Limp and cut and shrunken. It looks like a hermit crab! This is the worst dick I've ever seen! You're telling me you're hard? You think this is funny? Boys, take his clothes away and don't give them back until he has ran around the base a few times. I can't believe it. Get out of my face, you should be discharged for that kind of behavior.

Ok, next one and last one for today. Your buddy disgusted me, I feel sick. I really do, don't believe me? DO you want me to throw up my breakfast here? Is that what you want? Sick freaks.
Now you, last soldier. You better compensate for your pal here or everyone else, including the members I haven't seen, will be take turns cleaning out the bathrooms with toothbrushes - Yes you'll be doing it naked.  Now- my god! This dick, it isn't hard? This is the Adonis Member. Can I- Can I touch it?
The girth, the length, the responsiveness! You're testicles are beautiful too.
Thank you, this is, this is wonderful. Come by my office later today for a promotion.

The rest of you here! Look at this man's member. This is what the marine core should be striving for! This is the kind of dick that built America. Look and be proud, for this penis is rare nowadays. We are not the same man that the founding fathers were, except this fine lad here. You'll follow his habits, you'll learn from him so that you too may have large perfect cocks.

Good night everyone, and don't forget to stop by tonight.


i was hoping this was copypasta

but a cursory google search yields no results for any part of it



At what point do humans cease to be obsessed with their genitals


humans may be slightly more cerebral, but they are still instinct-driven apes with an insurmountable, biological drive to reproduce

it's what they were programmed to do from the very beginning

it's in their nature

and so long as that remains true, they will always be obsessed


But even homosexuals share the genital obsession is the human body just too basic to understand what is fertile soil and what isn't?


June 26, 2017, 11:14:50 AM #7 Last Edit: June 26, 2017, 11:40:47 AM by Majorana's Mask
Quote from: Boyager on June 26, 2017, 10:45:49 AM
But even homosexuals share the genital obsession is the human body just too basic to understand what is fertile soil and what isn't?

basically, yes

instinct is primitive and primal

it isn't exactly advanced enough to give an instruction as specific as 'you must seek a live, able-bodied partner of the opposite sex, of reproductive age, in good health... (etc. etc.)'

so rather, instinct increases the frequency of biologically advantageous behavior by using a less-complex but less-specific approximative method, which in this case it achieves by essentially making humans responsive to certain stimuli

and that approximation works well enough that humans manage to proliferate in huge numbers

but of course, humans, the inventive creatures they are, very quickly discovered that activities other than strict reproduction could trigger those same stimuli

and then (epi)genetic effects kick in

and that's how you end up with sexual behavior that is anything other than heterosexual copulation for the sole purpose of reproduction: good approximation can work a high percentage of the time, but it can never be perfect


Quote from: Samus Aran on November 05, 2009, 12:50:30 PMlast night i bludgeoned a bull moose to death with my cock



lmao i love this thread

if i were to guess, I'd say this is a c.mongler thread

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