clucky adventure no 666

[??????]

And so a month after they built the fifth Wal-Mart in our county, a little coffee shop opened just a few yards away. 

My coworker Rick said it looked like a giant amoeba just waiting to absorb any surrounding properties.

“The coffee shop?� I asked.

“No, Wal-Mart is the amoeba.�

“Oh.�

When I got back to my desk, I typed ‘amoeba’ into Google and realized that I had incorrectly been envisioning a centipede.

“Fuck Rick,� I thought. “I don’t need any more friends, anyway. I’m on friend overload.�

At dinner that night, the Wal-Mart came up again when my wife Diane mentioned how ugly it was to see another gigantic shopping center taking up space in our town.

“It looks like a giant amoeba just waiting to absorb that little coffee shop,� I said. “And then the coffee shop is like a centipede.�

“I don’t think amoebas eat centipedes. And besides, that’s the point.�

Diane went on to explain that the coffee shop, though legitimate and functioning by all measures, was really an art piece constructed by a group of private donors in response to the new Wal-Mart.

“The idea is that we’re intentionally not supposed to go to the coffee shop. That way, Wal-Mart customers will be forced to observe the gradual decay of a local business every time they enter the store.�

“Well, I’ve been going there all week,� I said. “I think the coffee is top-notch stuff. Plus, it’s on my way to work.�

“The coffee is supposed to be intentionally mediocre,� said Diane. “Keeping within the budget of most struggling businesses. It’s supposed to be virtually undrinkable.�

“Hmm…well I really like it.�

“Well, you can’t keep going or else you’ll ruin the project.�

“This is America,� I said. “And if I want a cup of mediocre, overpriced coffee, by god I will have it!�

Over the next several months, I kept drinking the coffee. Some days I even went twice. The quality of the coffee, I was told, gradually worsened as a result of my unwavering interest, but I never noticed and so I had no choice but to doubt the rumors.

My doubt remained intact even after overhearing a private conversation between the coffee shop’s manager and the cashier. I was standing by a tree and watching a teenager back his car into another car and I guess they didn’t see me.

“I know,� said the cashier. “I’ve tried that, but it’s like he doesn’t have taste buds.�

“Well, he’s single-handedly fucking up this entire thing.�

“So what then, poison? Would he even drink poison?�

“Now, that’s an interesting idea.�

“Stupid teenage drivers,� I thought.

In the end, they poisoned the coffee. I made it a month after that, but my failing eyesight and ravaged kidneys eventually left me bed-ridden.

“Well, they just opened another location,� said Diane. “Business is booming. I hope you’re happy.�

And I wasn’t happy, but I was somehow content and I thought about everything: Wal-Mart, art projects, even little amoebas crawling through the forest, one-hundred legs working beautifully in tandem.

“Nobody ever wins in these kinds of things,� said Diane.

“But if you had to pick a winner, you’d probably pick me because the coffee shop was on my way to work.�

Diane sighed and left the room. I dozed off and in my dream, they did pick a winner. They picked me and I was led over to a small stage to choose my prize: A brand new recliner or two new kidneys!

“The recliner,� I inquired. “How far back are we talking?�

[Daddy]

this is like a salo version of a ringo story

[C.Mongler]

well fuck i read the whole thing lol good read m8

[squirrelfriend]

i think you'd be a big hit on reddit tbh

[Daddy]

i think you'd be a big hit on reddit tbh

/r/degeneratewritingprompts

[squirrelfriend]

i think you'd be a big hit on reddit tbh

/r/degeneratewritingprompts

i'm really wondering who ghostwrites most of clucky's posts

[??????]

i think you'd be a big hit on reddit tbh

this is probably the meanest thing anyone has said

[??????]

i think you'd be a big hit on reddit tbh

/r/degeneratewritingprompts

i'm really wondering who ghostwrites most of clucky's posts

either zyphet or soup

[YPrrrr]

Man I like drugs too

[C.Mongler]

i think you'd be a big hit on reddit tbh

this is probably the meanest thing anyone has said

lmao