Chapter One: New Partner, New Problems
James Lawlz sighed as he filled his paperwork. He was too old for this shit. He didn't want to be dealing with some punk ass kids like Noodles who rebelled against the law for no good reason. He just wanted some nice quality time with his wife and two kids. He stared at their picture and smiled. He had to do this for them. He had to push on for them...
Lawlz's inner thoughts were shattered as Lieteunaunt Reaper slammed his fists on Lawlz's desk. Reaper screamed, "Dammit, Lawlz! I told you to be in my office five minutes ago! Move it!" Lawlz said, "Sorry, Reaper. I was busy finishing the paperwork on the Mariofreak kid. I tell ya, it's so weird to see a kid like that throw his life away by spray painting on his school wall. Shame." Reaper said, "Yeah, it's a damn shame. Come on, I've got something to tell ya in my office."
They entered Reaper's office and Lawlz noticed some young kid. Lawlz sat down and said, "Who's the new meat?" Reaper smiled, "Lawlz, meet your new partner, David Ieram." Ieram interrupted, "I prefer to be called LCK, though. Nice to meet ya." Lawlz sighed, "Reaper, I don't need to be coaching some newbie here. I like to do things on my own. Don't forget my last partner." Reaper yelled, "Dammit, Lawlz! The chief is on my ass! He wants you to have a partner so you get a partner! Show him the ropes, god dammit!" Lawlz stormed out of Reaper's office with LCK running after him.
LCK shouted, "Hey, wait! Reaper said we had to work together!" Lawlz angrily stated, "We may have to work together but that doesn't mean I have to like you." LCK said, "Fine, be like that. All I want to do is to help the city. If being partnered with you is the only way to do it, so be it." Lawlz said, "Move it, newbie. We're going downtown." LCK asked, "Doing what?" Lawlz stated plainly, "What must be done."
Chapter Two: Baby's First Bust
Lawlz and LCK exited the elevator and walked into the garage. Lawlz said, "We're going to find us some drugged up kids, Ieram." LCK sighed, "It's LCK..." Lawlz laughed, "Whatever, Ieram." They went into Lawlz's cop car and Lawlz drove it outside into scenic Boyah City. Lawlz said, "Alright, kid, how much of the drug trade do you know about?"
LCK said, "Not much. All I know is that it's pretty bad right now because of some huge dealer." Lawlz nodded and said, "Yep. No one knows his real name. He goes by many aliases. None stay alive for long. He's a wily one. He's my black whale." LCK suggested, "Uh, Lawlz, that'd be white whale." Lawlz sighed, "Shut the hell up... I'm too old to babysit." As Lawlz said that, they drove right past a drug deal going down.
Lawlz noticed it and said, "Guess what, Ieram? You get to be part of a nice, little drug bust. Get ready for anything." Lawlz took a u-turn at the traffic light and sped to the dark alleyway. Lawlz stopped the car and the two detectives dived out. LCK shouted, "FREEZE! BOYAH POLICE!" One of the dealers shouted, "Shit, it's the cops! Run!"
The three dealers split up and ran off. Lawlz yelled, "I'l take those two down! You take care of the third one!" Lawlz went down the alleyway where two of the dealers ran to. LCK ran into the alleyway with the last dealer. LCK screamed, "Give yourself up! It'll be easier paperwork for me. Heh, I made a funny." Suddenly, the dealer dived from the dumpster and jumped onto LCK. The dealer screamed, "Take this, you piece of shit cop!" The dealer poked LCK's right eye. LCK recoiled in pain which caused him to drop the gun. The dealer grabbed the gun and aimed.
LCK took a last ditch effort and kicked rubble into the dealer's eyes. Luckily, a bit got in and the dealer screamed, "NO! NOT MY EYES!" LCK took the advantage and dived onto the dealer. LCK handcuffed him and read him his Miranda rights. LCK picked his gun back up and placed it in his holster. He stumbled back to the car with his prize in hand. LCK was startled to see Lawlz already back in the car with the two other dealers in the backseat. LCK placed the third dealer into the car and got into the passenger seat. Lawlz asked, "What took you so god damn long?" LCK stared at him in anger and stated, "Just drive."
Am I the only one reading this fantastic story? emo;
BRILLIANT.
Panned. kratos;
Quote from: Lawlz on July 16, 2007, 02:19:41 PM
Am I the only one reading this fantastic story? emo;
James Lawlz's Philosophy: "I'm getting too old for this shit."
lol bump
WRITE MORE, MOTHERFUCKER.
I DEMAND MORE BRILLIANT WRITING.
Chapter Three: The Box
The box was a small, orange room where suspects are to be interrogated in. Lawlz and LCK dragged one dealer into the box and left one dealer in the witness box and the other just sitting on a bench in the IYPC HQ. Lawlz and LCK entered the box. LCK said, "So, how are you doing, Mr... Lollama?" Lollama nodded and said, "I ain't talking to you, pigs. You can do anything you want to me but I ain't talking." Lawlz replied, "That's fairly redundant, Lollama. See, you said you already are not talking with us in the first sentence but you repeated it in the third sentence. Kind of stupid, right, LCK?"
LCK said, "Yeah, sounds kind of stupid to me, Lawlz. Are you stupid, Lollama? It's all right, you can tell us. We're all friends here." Lollama shouted, "I ain't stupid!" Lawlz said, "Hey... I thought you weren't talking to us. Hm... Seems to be a liar, LCK." Lawlz grabbed Lollama's file and said, "Convincted on February 24th for aggrivated assault. Convincted on July 16th, 1997 for possesion of cocaine. Hey, happy anniversery! Well, you've got a record here, Lollama. If you get convincted this time, you'll be going to prison for life. Now, would you rather go home and sleep in your nice bed tonight or would you rather go to prison today and sleep in a small bed with your brand new roommate, Bubba? Ever watch Oz? It would be like that."
Lollama screamed, "STOP! I'LL TALK! Alright, what do y'all want to know and what do I get out of it?" LCK said, "What you get out of it is a chance to not get raped and we want to know who the big dealer is. We don't care about small stuff like you." Lollama laughed, "You think I know who the big guy is? I don't know who that is but I can give you the next best thing. One of his assiociates." Lawlz asked, "Who is that, Lollama?"
Lollama answered, "I don't know his real name but people call him Shady Slim." LCK said, "Thank you for the information and we'll talk with the D.A. to drop all charges. But, you'll have to stay in a holding cell tonight." Lollama screamed, "What? I thought we had a deal!" Lawlz answered, "Well, deals are made to be broken. Hey, officer, do me a favor and bring this guy into the holding cell. Thank you." The officer dragged Lollama out of the box while Lollama shouted many expletives involving LCK's mother and a platypus.
Lawlz said, "Good work in there, LCK." LCK smiled, "Hey, you called me LCK!" Lawlz sighed, "Don't read that much into it, Ieram. We'll put these two others guys into holding cells. We've got to get that Shady Slim before he hears about Lollama blabbing about him. Let's shag ass."
wut about my mom n a platypus
Review your spelling. Also, Llama only made two statements. caterpie;
Chapter Four: The Shadiest Slim is the Most Dangerous Slim
LCK said, "Alright, so we need to find Shady Slim... How are we going to do that?" Lawlz said, "The old fashioned way." Lawlz stopped the car and walked up to a poorly kept man leaning on the wall. Lawlz leaned against the wall and asked for a cigarette. The kid looked at him and said, "What do you want, pig?" Lawlz said, "Shady Slim. You know where he is?" The kid said, "You're after the Outsider Gang? Jesus, Lawlz, you're in more trouble than you know."
Lawlz said, "The Outsider Gang? They're the gang controlling the city! V, listen to me! Where is Shady Slim?" Lawlz shook V and V shouted, "Hey, watch the merchandise! Alright, he's in an abadoned warehouse down on Powerspike Avenue and 500th Street. I think a deal's going down." Lawlz smiled, "Always a pleasure, V." V asked, "New partner? What about your old one?" Lawlz sighed, "He's been dead for quite sometime, V." LCK was perplexed. LCK asked, "Dead? What happaned?" Lawlz screamed, "Not now, Ieram! Get in the car!"
The two sped down Powerspike Avenue and finally found the abadoned warehouse. Lawlz picked up the reciever and said, "Alright, I need backup at Powerspike Avenue and 500th Street. A possible drug deal is going down. Suspect is a Shady Slim. He is considered armed and dangerous. Ieram and I are going in." The two exited their cars and could hear music walking up to the gate. It sounded like Jimi Hendrix's 'Voodoo Child (Slight Return)'. LCK said, "I like this song." Lawlz said, "Alright, kid. We're going to go in. Shots first. Questions later. Make sure you get Shady Slim alive. We can't risk losing him. Let's go."
They walked up to the gates and took out their guns. LCK said, "We're here to see Shady Slim. Let us in or we will be forced to use deadly force." The guards ran inside to warn them of the others. Lawlz sighed, "I'm getting too old for this shit..." He shot the lock and opened the gate. The two ran through and dived into the warehouse, screaming, "BOYAH POLICE! WHERE'S SHADY SLIM?" To their dismay, there had to be ten guards inside along with their suspect. Shady Slim clapped and said, "Ah, the police. About time my taxes go to some use. Well, I can't let you two take me in so I'm afraid you're going to have to die. Henchmen, fi-"
Before Shady Slim could finish his sentence, an explosion caused the wall to collapse on the guards. Shady Slim was vulnerable. He sensed this and ran deeper into the warehouse. LCK was in hot pursuit and shouted, "If you go quietly, we can make you a deal!" Shady Slim scoffed, "And what? Give me a twenty year sentence with a chance for parole in ten instead of life? Yeah, you can go suck it, pig." As the song reached it's climax, Shady Slim dived from a corner and shot at LCK. The bullets missed and LCK ran towards Shady Slim and shot at his leg. LCK's bullet went right into Slim's kneecap.
Shady Slim screamed in pain as it tore his flesh. LCK shouted, "Lawlz! I got him!" Slim managed to pick his gun back up and tried to shoot LCK in the forehead. From the other side, Lawlz shot Slim in the arm which caused Slim to miss by a wide margin. Lawlz scoffed, "Apparently, you didn't. Well, handcuff him and we'll bring him into the box, two bullet wounds or no bullet wounds."
Quote from: Lawlz on July 16, 2007, 08:17:40 PM
Review your spelling. Also, Llama only made two statements. caterpie;
uh fux u :|
I apprehended a criminal. :|
Quote from: Trevor on July 16, 2007, 08:21:40 PM
I apprehended a criminal. :|
uh wrong :|
u got him down but he wasnt down
seasoned veternan lawlz had to shoot him in the shoulder to stop him from killing u...
tard :|
Quote from: Andrew1911 on July 16, 2007, 08:23:12 PM
uh wrong :|
u got him down but he wasnt down
seasoned veternan lawlz had to shoot him in the shoulder to stop him from killing u...
tard :|
i'm talking about earlier
tard :|
Chapter Five: The Box Part Deux
Reaper stared at Slim from the window. He said calmly, "Lawlz, we need to interview him and get the answers on the Outsider Clan before anyone hears about this. If IGN knew about this, they'd have my badge and gun on their desk. Get in there. You too, Ieram." LCK said, "Uh, it's LCK, sir." Reaper answered, "Whatever." Reaper stayed at the window and the two detectives entered with Slim's file.
LCK opened the file and said, "Your real name is... Holly Terrance? Pretty lame name for a big time drug dealer." Slim was breathing heavily and said, "Get... Me... To... A... Doctor..." The two laughed. Lawlz said, "Hey, pal, no one knows you're here except for us and the lieutnaunt. You spill the beans and we get you to a doctor. If you don't, you're going to end up in the morgue right with your henchmen. Talk." Slim began to cry and whispered softly, "Can you drop... The charges?"
LCK smiled, "No." Slim slammed his fists and said, "DAMMIT! JUST GET ME TO A DOCTOR! ARGH!" Lawlz ran up to Slim and put his fingers in the bullet hole in his kneecap. Slim screamed in pain, "I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!" Lawlz removed his fingers and said, "If you're going to talk... Then talk." Slim said, "Alright... I'm not the big guy... You know this... I don't know the big guy... I've just heard whispers... I can give you the name... Of... The next... One... Abov... M..."
Slim was fading fast. He was going to black out. LCK grabbed Slim by the collar and screamed, "DAMMIT! I'M A COP ON THE EDGE WHO DOESN'T PLAY BY THE RULES! YOU TELL ME HIS NAME AND I'LL CONSIDER LETTING YOU LIVE TO SEE YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY, YOU SLICE OF SHIT!" Slim managed to utter out a word before going unconscious, "CP." LCK let go of Slim and threw the table over. Lawlz said, "We're going to the archives. We're going to find any mention of something called CP, drugs, and Outsider. Reaper, can you bring this bastard to a hospital?"
ooohh
i'm da bad cop
Quote from: Trevor on July 16, 2007, 08:29:56 PM
ooohh
i'm da bad cop
on the edge who doesnt play by the rules burned;
MORE COMMENTS
Chapter Six: Lawlz's Past
Lawlz and LCK entered the police archives looking for a mention of child porn, Outsiders, and drugs. LCK had something on his mind. He had to tell Lawlz something. LCK asked, "Lawlz... What happened to your last partner?" Lawlz gripped the wall and crushed a bit of the wood off. Lawlz said, "I don't want to talk about." LCK grabbed Lawlz and screamed, "I NEED TO KNOW, DAMMIT! YOU'RE MY PARTNER!"
Lawlz pushed LCK off and yelled, "YOU'RE NOT MY PARTNER! TREVOR WAS MY ONLY PARTNER!" LCK stopped dead in his tracks and said, "Trevor? I remember reading something about him last year." Lawlz said quietly, "Trevor was my old partner. He was a great man." LCK asked, "Was?" Lawlz nodded and said, "Was... I guess I should tell you what happened...
It was five years ago. It was an especially cold day. Trevor and I stepped out of the car in a routine drug bust. I still cared about my job and I actually loved the city. As we exited the car, I had a strange feeling this would not be an ordinary drug bust. I shook it off as we entered inside. We went into this huge warehouse and saw all these dealers everywhere. I don't know what we were thinking, going in without backup... I still regret not picking that reciever up and calling for backup...
We screamed for them to give up and go in quiety. Of course, they didn't. I thought we had it all under control when we got most of them... There were a few left. I started joking with Trevor... That's when it happened. All of a sudden, one of them dived over the container and shot Trevor in the forehead. He laughed. I tried to shoot him but the bastard shot me in the shoulder. He got away. I still remember that cold, heartless laugh... That bastard got away from me. He killed my partner... He killed my partner."
LCK whispered, "Jesus. Wait... Was it the Outsider Clan you tried to bust?" Lawlz nodded and said, "Yes. Those bastards are the reason why my partner is dead. I have a vendetta against them and I will not rest until they are all dead." LCK said, "Lawlz, you may not consider me your partner but I consider you my partner. We're going to get those bastards together. You and me. Now, let's find that thing we're looking for." LCK opened a newspaper and found the answer he was looking for.
LCK pointed to a sentence that said, 'A few of the suspects were captured including a child molester who goes by the alias of Phydeaux.' Lawlz said, "Fantastic. He's behind bars. This will make it much easier for us. Let's go."
I'm two different people. powerofone;
Quotea child molester who goes by the alias of Phydeaux.
I truly laughed out loud at that, sir.
Quote from: Trevor on July 16, 2007, 09:35:13 PM
I'm two different people. powerofone;
SPLIT PERSONALITY DISORDER
Chapter Seven: Something clever about prison
Lawlz and LCK headed towards the local prison to find Phydeaux. LCK said, "Listen, man... About your old partner... I'm sorry about that." Lawlz said, "Don't be sorry, LCK. Don't be sorry. I'm not going to let that happen again... Partner." LCK smiled. They finally reached the prison and entered. They went up to the warden and asked, "Excuse me but we're looking for a prisoner who went by the alias of Phydeaux. Does he reside here?"
Warden Steal asked, "Reside? No one resides here. We lock 'em down. Reside... Never heard someone refer to holding a criminal in a prison as residing." LCK sighed, "Regardless of the word, is there anyone who went by that alias?" Warden Steal answered, "Yes. He's currently in Cell Block B. You want to question him?" Lawlz nodded and said, "It would only take a few minutes..." Warden Steal said, "Hell, you could interview him in the cell block for all I care. Let's go."
Before they entered the cell block, Warden Steel said, "First, you'll need to deposit your firearms here for the time remaining here." The two deposited their weapons and entered the cell block. They saw dozens of prisoners but one in particular stood out. He had shaved his head and on the top was a swatiska. The Nazi version. LCK joked, "Hey, you think he's a Nazi?" Lawlz chuckled, "You know I'm Jewish, right?" LCK said, "Oh. Well... Um... So, you're rich?" Lawlz laughed, "You're funny." Warden Steal pointed Phydeaux out and it was the one they were making fun of before.
They walked up to him and LCK said, "Well, hello, Phydeaux! How you doin'? You know your buddy? Shady Slim? Well, he's currently in the hospital with a bullet wound in his shoulder and kneecap! Now, I want to know why he said you were above him in the Outsider Clan! See, you're in prison... He's not... That must mean you're doing some business from prison and that is quite illegial. So is dealing drugs and conspiracing to commit murder which is what we suspect you of doing. It's a shame that you won't be able to get out and enjoy fondling the children you oh so love if we prove this in a court of law..."
Phydeaux said, "That made me laugh out loud, fellas... I got some bad news for you two... You came at the worst possible time to interview me. We're going to be having a riot in a few seconds. Sit back and watch the fireworks, gentlemen. I'll make sure you two die." Lawlz and LCK gulped as they saw the prisoners gang up on the cops. One prisoner grabbed a guard's club and beat him to death with it. After the guards were all killed and/or captured, the prisoners piled the tables onto the gates to block the entrance. Lawlz asked, "What do you want?" Phydeaux smiled, "Drop the case, Jew, and I'll consider letting you two live to see tomorrow. I'll let you think about it in a cell. Yo, bitches! Tie these two up and put them in my cell! Make sure you hurt them..."
Only Phydeaux could pull of something like that...
Anjew, your stories are much better when they don't revolve around sex. Edit the spelling errors and I'll make sure to have these published onto our homepage. thumbup;
holy shit chapter eight is fucking epic
lawlz & lck vs. the entire fucking cell block
holy fucking shit
Quote from: Andrew1911 on July 16, 2007, 09:55:44 PM
holy shit chapter eight is fucking epic
lawlz & lck vs. the entire fucking cell block
holy fucking shit
wat r u waitin 4
Chapter Eight: Prison Riot: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Beat the Shit out of Prisoners
Lawlz was punched in the chest and his jaw was uppercutted by a member of the Aryan Gang. Lawlz spit out some blood and said, "That the best you got?" The Aryan said, "I've got more, little Jew... But... The boss said to keep you alive till morning. You get off." Lawlz asked, "Where's LCK?" The Aryan smiled, "Oh... He's fine. He's just getting acquainted with some of our prisoners." Lawlz screamed, "Don't you dare fucking hurt my partner!"
Meanwhile, in another cell not too far off, LCK was getting attacked by the Mexican gang and was continously getting punched. He couldn't block so many of them and finally collapsed to the floor. One Mexican said, "Damn, ese! You can't fight for shit!" LCK lay on the ground with a broken nose and numerous cuts. He saw Lawlz in another cell from the ground. He nodded his head. Lawlz nodded back.
Lawlz thought to himself, "Dammit, I've got to get us out of this situation but still get information from Phydeaux. I can't let this case drop. This is for Trevor... And LCK." Lawlz struggled to get out of his bonds but it was impossible. He would have to literally fight with two hands behind his back. He was guarded by that Aryan fuck. Lawlz had an idea... He slowly got up and put his hands out in front. He was to going to strangle that fuck.
Lawlz crept up slowly behind him and when he made it to the Aryan, he put his hands out and got his neck right in between his bonds. He brought him back into the cell and slowly choked him to death. The last thing the Aryan saw was Lawlz smiling, waving goodbye. The Aryan died and Lawlz noticed he had a shiv in his pocket. Lawlz cut his bonds and gave a signal to LCK that he got free. LCK nodded.
Back in LCK's cell, he saw Phydeaux come up to him. Phydeaux grabbed him by his hair and took out a cigarette. Phydeaux lit it up and burnt it into LCK's skin. LCK didn't scream and only grunted. Phydeaux smirked, "Hm... You're tougher than most... So, you're LCK... The new partner for Lawlz. I remember the old one... He was quite slow. I still remember shooting him. Quite enjoyable, mate. Now, looks like I'll have the pleasure of killing you." LCK smiled, "Not if I get you first." Phydeaux said with disgust, "How are you possibly going to get me? I'm Phydeaux, bitch. I'm un-fucking-touchable. I'm the devouer of children." LCK laughed, "Oh, I'll find a way, Steve... I'll find a way... Ha, ha, ha!" Steve backed out, creeped out a bit.
Phydeaux said to one of the Mafia guys, "I want you to rough him a bit more. I want him to be clinging to lfie when I come back. Got it?" The Mafia guy responded, "Hey, I'm from the Mafia! Eh? I'll make sure he's sleeping with the fishes! Capishe?" Phydeaux sighed, "Listen, Frank, you were born in Kansas... You're not from the Mafia... Please, stop with the accent." Frank said sadly, "Y'all don't got to get touchy about it... Well, I'll take out my frustations on that guy..." Frank entered the room with a chair and said, "Prepare to face my anger, y'all!" LCK gulped but he got his hands out of the ropes by using the sharp edge of the bed.
Lawlz watched this and knew he had to spring into action. He grabbed the shiv and jumped from the second floor and screamed, "LISTEN UP! LET LCK AND ME GO AND I WON'T KILL YOU!" The prisoners crowded around and muttered, "Let's rape the Jew." One prisoner tried to dive onto Lawlz but Lawlz shived him as he was in mid-air. Another prisoner tried to attack Lawlz from behind but LCK came onto the scene with a chair and broke it over the prisoner's head. LCK screamed, "LISTEN UP! I'M A COP ON THE EDGE WHO DOESN'T PLAY BY THE RULES! YOU DUMB FUCKS BETTER GIVE UP PHYDEAUX SO WE CAN GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OUTSIDER CLAN! YOU GOT IT?"
The prisoners all responded by trying to gang pile on the two. As the entire cell block descended upon them, LCK remarked, "Well, I tried. Let's get to work." The two rolled away from the pile and grabbed prisoners from the pile. Lawlz grabbed an Aryan and kicked him in the groin. Lawlz said, "There goes your perfect race babies." LCK grabbed one of the Mexicans who beat him up and before punching his face in so much that he became disfigured, LCK said, "You ever see The Man With No Face? Well, when you look in the mirror, that guy will be you." Finally, the two defeated the entire pile. The only one left was Phydeaux who stood watching while smoking a cigarette.
Phydeaux clapped slowly. He said, "Good job, gentlemen... You may have defeated them but you haven't defeated me. I should let you know that I am a master in martial arts." LCK laughed, "Hey, James... You know what this fuck did? He killed Trevor." Phydeaux shit himself as he saw Lawlz's face change from playful to fucking pissed. Lawlz screamed, "YOU KILLED TREVOR? DIE!" Lawlz jumped onto a table and dived into Phydeaux, sending him flying back into a wall. Phydeaux said, "Hey, we can work out a deal!" Lawlz screamed, "NO DEAL! YOUR DEATH IS THE ONLY DEAL!"
Lawlz began to choke Phydeaux. Lawlz smiled but LCK yelled, "LAWLZ! NO! He's a piece of shit but if you kill him in cold blood, you're not any better than him! Also, we need him alive for information." Lawlz let go of Phydeaux. Lawlz spit on him and said, "Who's the next in line?" Phydeaux said quickly, "It's Commodore Guff! Oh, God! Don't hurt me! I need to fondle a child one last time before I die!" Lawlz decided to take one last hit for the road and kicked Phydeaux in the face. Lawlz said, "Let's move it." LCK looked at the numerous prisoners they beat up. He finally said, "Whoa. We kick ass."
Whoa. We kick ass.
Quote from: Andrew1911 on July 16, 2007, 10:14:25 PM
was i talkin to u :|
dont speak unless spoken 2, jew :|
Quote from: Trevor on July 16, 2007, 10:15:17 PM
dont speak unless spoken 2, jew :|
uh ur partner is a jew :|
Quote from: Andrew1911 on July 16, 2007, 10:16:32 PM
uh ur partner is a jew :|
I'M A COP ON THE EDGE WHO DOESN'T PLAY BY THE RULES! DON'T FUCK WITH ME.
Quote from: Trevor on July 16, 2007, 10:17:22 PM
I'M A COP ON THE EDGE WHO DOESN'T PLAY BY THE RULES! DON'T FUCK WITH ME.
too late
Quote from: Trevor on July 16, 2007, 10:22:23 PM
o
sry
so whens the next chapter
i dun know
it took me a while for chapter eight
maybe tomorrow i will do another
Quote from: Andrew1911 on July 16, 2007, 10:23:15 PM
i dun know
it took me a while for chapter eight
maybe tomorrow i will do another
k
i'll be waiting
ANDREW, WOULD YOU APPROVE OF ME SLAPPING THIS ONTO THE HOMEPAGE? powerofone;
Quote from: Lawlz on July 16, 2007, 10:33:28 PM
ANDREW, WOULD YOU APPROVE OF ME SLAPPING THIS ONTO THE HOMEPAGE? powerofone;
surez
Chapter Nine: The Aftermath
Lawlz and LCK limped to the gates and struggled to open the doors. Lawlz screamed, "Hello? The prisoners are taken care of. Can we come in?" The lights began to turn off. LCK whispered, "Oh, shit. Lawlz, we've got to hide in a cell." LCK grabbed Lawlz's arm and dragged him into a cell and covered the them with a matress. LCK whispered into Lawlz's ear, "Listen, I used to be a prison guard. This is normally what happens if the prisoners don't respond. They're sending in the SWAT team. They don't know we're in here. That bastard Steal probably forgot about us... They'll shoot anything that moves. Just hide here and we'll be safe."
Lawlz said, "Uh... When are they going to come in? It's taking them forever..." As soon as Lawlz said that, the SWAT team blew the gates open and charged in. One SWAT member said, "Sir, movement to the right! Fire!" They unleashed all their firepower on a prisoner who was unconscious. Lawlz gulped. Finally, after several hours of shooting "moving" targets, the SWAT team had created a safe environment. They captured most of the prisoners and the two detectives. In the scuffle, Lawlz and LCK lost their badges.
Lawlz screamed, "Dammit, I'm not a prisoner! I've been part of the IYPC Police for twenty years! Check my records, you shithead!" Warden Steal scoffed, "That's what they all say..." LCK gave the Warden the bird as he walked past. LCK asked, "Lawlz, how are we going to get out of this one? The Lietuanuant didn't even know we were coming here. God dammit, we're going to be stuck in prison, aren't we?" Lawlz nodded. He said, "Well, we're going to have to adapt to prison life, I guess." LCK said, "Yeah, after we beat the shit out of each and everyone of them, it'll all be peaches and cream."
One prisoner whispered, "Hey... You guys wanna get out of here?" Lawlz said, "Who wants to know?" The prisoner said, "My name's Miladmaan. I've been in here for seventeen months. I've been digging a tunnel out. You've guys got muscle. I'll need that to escape with. You in?" Lawlz and LCK agreed. Miladmaan said, "It'll take me a week more to finish building it. In that time, I suggest you two have fun in Boyah Prison..."
I always keep my badge up my ass for safe keeping. :|
anyone like the super duper twist in the story
can they enlist the mysterious miladmaan's help to escape
Quote from: Andrew1911 on July 16, 2007, 10:45:35 PM
anyone like the super duper twist in the story
can they enlist the mysterious miladmaan's help to escape
I love it wub;
Two cops on the edge in prison.
lol what an epic adventure powerofone;
Chapter Ten: Prison Sucks
While Miladmaan worked on the tunnel, Lawlz and LCK struggled to survive in prison. Phydeaux was still beaten badly but he would not rest until Lawlz and LCK were shived. Phydeaux ordered his Outsider crew members to shiv them at the best possible moment. Lawlz and LCK feared for their life around every corner. Lawlz screamed to the Warden, "Steal, I'm a fucking detective! Look it up in your books!"
The Warden smiled, "You know... Maybe, you two shouldn't have investigated this Outsider business in the first place. Maybe, someone should have taught you a lesson... A permanent lesson." Lawlz gasped, "You planned this? You're part of them?" The Warden laughed, "How do you think Phydeaux does business from in here? Magic? No, he does it by me. You two will be killed in here by Phydeaux's crew. Goodbye, Lawlz. Guard, escort this prisoner to his cell, please. Ha, ha, ha!" Lawlz screamed, "YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU BASTARD! WE'LL GET YOU BACK!" Warden Steal took out a large cigar and began to smoke it. He remarked, "Nothing tastes better than a cigar after locking an innocent man in prisoner."
Lawlz told LCK of Warden Steal's plan. LCK punched the wall and said, "How the hell are we going to stop him, Lawlz?" Lawlz said, "We're going to have to break out of here with Miladmaan. It's the only choice we've got. Just six more days to go..." They slept the night in their cell. When dawn came, they had to take a shower with the other prisoners. Lawlz thought to himself, "This isn't good..." They entered the show and they felt as if each and every prisoner was staring at them.
LCK turned his facet on and saw a prisoner slowly creeping up to him with a shiv. LCK waited until the prisoner was right behind him. LCK leapt into action, grabbed the prisoner's wrist, and twisted it until it broke. LCK grabbed the shiv and screamed, "ALRIGHT, I'M A PRISONER ON THE EDGE WHO DOESN'T PLAY BY THE RULES! WHO WANTS TO GET SHIVED?" The prisoners backed up as the one on the ground yelled in pain, asking for help. Everyone left except for that one who was still stuck in the shower.
They went about their days as normal as possible in a prison. Two days later, they went to the lunch room. Everything was going smoothly until Lawlz saw a man he put away that he thought was executed... Lawlz gulped as he apporached him and grabbed his throat. Lawlz struggled for air and managed to say the words, "Riosan." Riosan smiled and said, "Oh, so you remember me, Weitzjew?" LCK grabbed his lunch tray and smashed Riosan in the face with it. LCK screamed, "Don't you dare touch my partner, you shit!"
Riosan got up and yelled, "YOU TWO MOTHERFUCKERS WILL BE GOING BALLS DEEP IN THE GROUND IN FOUR DAYS! COUNT 'EM!" Riosan walked away as LCK picked Lawlz up from the ground. LCK said, "Who's he?" Lawlz said, "He was one of the Outsider Clan. I shot him in the kneecap... Twice. Both of them." LCK exclaimed, "Both of them? Twice? Jesus, remind me to never piss you off... Well, in four days, we'll be out of here. Hopefully, Miladmaan will come through for us."
Riosan walked up to Phydeaux and said, "Sir, if you want, I'll take care of those two fuckers personally. I also have some nice Toys R Us Catalogs if you want to see them." Phydeaux grabbed the catalogs and said, "Riosan, you've always been a good solider for me. I want you to beat the living shit out of them. Make sure you beat them up in the alloted time you gave them too. Don't want to look like pieces of shit, right?" Riosan cracked his knuckles and said, "Yes, sir."
Coming in the next chapter: The riveting finale to the five chapter saga of Prison!
ew riosan
Quote from: Trevor on July 17, 2007, 09:46:35 AM
ew riosan
ya i now :|
wut will happen in the next chapter ^_^
Chapter Eleven: Escape from Boyah Prison
Today was the day for the grand escape from Boyah Prison. It was also the day Riosan promised to crush Lawlz and LCK's spines. Lawlz and LCK waited for Miladmaan to give them a sign. Miladmaan walked up to them and said, "Guys... It's all done. It's time to escape. I also came up with a way to stop intruders from getting us. I had to build past support beams so say if you wanted to stop someone chasing you, knock that beam down and they'll be trapped in the tunnel. Buried alive." LCK remarked, "Wow. You're sadistic but that's a good idea. Let's move."
They went into Miladmaan's cell where they saw the hole. Lawlz was the first to crawl in. LCK went in second. Miladmaan was about to enter but Riosan grabbed Miladmaan's skull. Riosan whispered, "Hey, Miladmaan... I'm going to crush your skull slowly. Don't scream because that would ruin the moment." Miladmaan gulped as Riosan caved in Miladmaan's skull and killed him. Riosan licked the blood off of his hands and said, "Hey, Phydeaux... You got the gun?"
Meanwhile, in the tunnel, LCK stopped and said, "Hey, where's Miladmaan?" LCK looked behind him and saw Riosan come down. LCK screamed, "LAWLZ! IT'S RIOSAN!" Lawlz said, "I'll deal with him. Riosan, you kill us, we'll knock the support beams in here, slowly crushing you under all the dirt in the tunnel. It will kill you and we'll be happy." Riosan said, "Not if you die before you knock them down!" Riosan charged after them and LCK said, "Knock 'em down!" They knocked the support beams down and crawled for the exit. Riosan was after them in close pursuit. Phydeaux crawled down with the gun and said, "Hey, what's going on, Riosan? They dead yet? Sigh... Looks like I gotta go down and investigate."
Phydeaux crawled in the tunnel and said, "Hey... What's the rumble?" Phydeaux saw that the support beam for the tunnel was knocked down. He screamed, "NO! I MUST GET OUT OF HERE! I NEED TO FONDLE A CHILD BEFORE I DIE!" Phydeaux crawled for the entrance back into the prison but the dirt came back down before he could reach it. Phydeaux slowly choked on the dirt. He tried to breathe in air but all he could get was dirt. Phydeaux screamed but no sound came back. He gurgled dirt and finally died.
Finally, Lawlz and LCK got out of the tunnel and saw the cliff edge of the prison. The tunnel collapsing must've alerted them to their escape. From behind them, they heard Riosan coming after them. Riosan screamed, "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, LAWLZ!" Lawlz and LCK ran for the cliff edge but Riosan was in hot pursuit. The three heard a gunshot. Lawlz and LCK looked behind them. Riosan was shot in the head. Riosan uttered, "Balls deep... In heaven..." Riosan fell and the two looked around. They saw the police closing in. They only had one chance for escape.
LCK said, "Lawlz... Have you ever seen Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?" Lawlz answered, "No..." LCK screamed, "Well, you're about to live it!" LCK grabbed Lawlz and dived off the cliff edge for the water. Lawlz yelled, "FUCK YOU, LCK!" They hit the water.
dont worry
im takin control of the sitcheation
Quote from: Trevor on July 17, 2007, 10:15:02 AM
dont worry
im takin control of the sitcheation
"
holy shit
what happened to them
r tehy dead :( :(
Quote from: Andrew1911 on July 17, 2007, 10:15:47 AM
"
holy shit
what happened to them
r tehy dead :( :(
um, they better not b
Clip Show
Oh, boy, that Phydeaux fellow sure is a card! Ha, ha! Oh, hello, there! I didn't notice you there! I've been watching clips from this hilarous series based on the true story of Detectives LCK and Lawlz. In this clip show, we'll be looking at the series's highlight jokes such as Phydeaux being revealed to be a child molester. Did you know that was an afterthought? Oh, boy, that creator sure knows how to be topical and whatnot!
Later on, we'll look at the real life Lawlz and LCK. Of course, we won't give too much away! Don't want to ruin the surprise!
Welcome back! Did you know that Lawlz and LCK were based off on real detectives who are not named for political reasons at this time? They tried to bust the Russian Mafia wide open in New York but they were killed sadly. They parked on a train track, fell asleep, and were tragically stabbed to death.
In a lighter side, let's look at the full cast of characters on this show and list if they're dead and/or an asshole.
Lawlz - Good... Dead?
LCK - Good... Dead?
Reaper - Good
Phydeaux - Dead asshole
Riosan - Dead asshole
Lollama - Alive asshole
Shady Slim - Alive asshole
Other people who I'm too bored/haven't introduced yet/other reason I'll mention later to bail me out
Well, that's it for the clip show! Hope this was as informative and "rad" for you kids!
kill of lawlz and make me the hero :| :|
Quote from: Trevor on July 17, 2007, 11:20:42 AM
kill of lawlz and make me the hero :| :|
never :|
Quote from: Andrew1911 on July 17, 2007, 11:28:25 AM
never :|
make him suffer a career ending injury and have me take over as the rookie in charge :|
Quote from: Trevor on July 17, 2007, 11:29:09 AM
make him suffer a career ending injury and have me take over as the rookie in charge :|
how about u die :|
Quote from: Trevor on July 17, 2007, 12:10:41 PM
that doesn't make a good story
ur mom isnt a good story :|
comments or no new chapter :|
The clip show adds a nice touch.
:| :| :|
*comment
Chapter Twelve: Boyah Headquarters
Detective Kaz threw the football over to Detective JMV. Kaz said, "Hey, partner... What did you think happened to Lawlz and LCK? They've been gone for a week and a half!" JMV shrugged and said, "I heard it had something to do with the Outsider Clan. You know that Lawlz has a vendetta against those guys..." Kaz nodded as JMV threw the football back. Detective Houdini said to Detective Bassir, "Hey, you ever wonder if the Outsiders got them?" Detective Bassir replied, "Nah, man. LCK and Lawlz got married or something. That's what I think."
All of a sudden, the doors to the Boyah Headquarters opened. Kaz dropped the football while JMV stuttered. Reaper came out of his office and said, "My God... Lawlz? Ieram?" Lawlz and LCK were all cut up, their clothes were ragged and wet, and LCK's arm was twisted backwards. Lawlz had a sack with him. LCK said, "Reaper... We need to talk."
*FLASHBACK*
Lawlz and LCK struggled against the water's strong current. The police wouldn't stop shooting at them. They had to keep swimming or else they would be doomed. Unfortunately, the stormy weather was keeping them from reaching their goal as the wind kept pushing them back to the island. Finally, after an hour of swimming, they had reached RT City. Lawlz vomited as LCK rolled on the sand. After Lawlz cleaned his mouth, he said, "LCK... We've got to get back to Boyah HQ." LCK shook his head. LCK replied, "We've got to take care of Warden Steal first."
They walked onto to the street and walked in front of a car. The driver stopped and shouted, "What the hell is wrong with you?" Lawlz grabbed the driver from the window and threw him onto the street. Lawlz said, "Police business. Back off." The two entered the car and headed back to where they escaped... Boyah Prison. LCK said, "Lawlz, we've got to use non lethal weapons. We can't harm the good guards. Let's move it." Lawlz punched the gas and they sped towards Boyah Prison.
r we invincible
pin this or no new chapter :|
where is me
lets somehow turn this into an online podcast show
Chapter Thirteen: War, The Other White Meat
Reaper listened to Lawlz and LCK's tale of Warden Steal's evil and who Phydeaux told him who was next in line... Someone with the alias of Commodore Guff. Reaper hollered, "These Outsider fucks want a war? Guess what? THEY FUCKING GOT ONE!" Reaper stormed out of his office and screamed, "EJMVERY SINGLE DETECTIJMVE IN HERE RIGHT NOW, LISTEN UP! Lawlz and LCK have just informed me the Outsider Clan tried to have them killed. They want a war. Guess what? THEY'VE GOT ONE! I want every single detective to help Lawlz and LCK capture this Commodore Guff character. I have a feeling this will lead us to their leader. Everyone, head out! Lawlz, drop Steal off in the holding cell."
Everyone ran to the garage and entered their cars. LCK said, "Lawlz, you're finally going to get some good ol' fashioned revenge on the assholess who did this to Elessar." Lawlz said, "Yep... Let's roll." LCK said, "I'm putting some music in for this occasion." LCK put in The Rolling Stones' Their Satanic Majesties Request and '2000 Man' began to blare. All of the detectives revved their cars up and headed for an abadoned facility taken control by the Outsiders.
All of the detectives arrived at the facility and Lawlz said, "Alright, detectives. We're heading in strong and straight." JMV chuckled. Lawlz said, "Yeah, real funny, JMV. Anyway, we're all going to charge inside and take them by surprise. We might not all come back but we're getting this douche called Commodore Guff. What a lame name... Detectives, roll out!"
They all ran inside the dock and screamed, "IYPC POLICE! FREEZE!" As usual, the Outsiders decided to disregard their warning and fired at the detectives. They dived behind crates and LCK said, "Why don't these fools listen?" LCK grabbed two handguns, placed a toothpick in his mouth, and ran out of cover. He jumped onto a crate and fired his handguns at two henchmen at the same time. LCK dived off the crate and landed on the floor as he nailed three other henchmen. The detectives came out of cover and joined LCK.
Detective Kaz ran up the stairs and judo kicked a henchmen in the face. Kaz remarked, "Don't mess with the guy who's watched Firefly more than fifty times, bitch." Bassir grabbed a henchmen who was on the second floor and dragged him to the first floor while shooting another henchmen. JMV had a gun placed to his head by a henchmen. JMV waited for the perfect moment and broke the henchmen's arm, aimed the gun back at the henchmen, and fired blowing the henchmen's brains out. JMV said, "Yum... Brains."
V grabbed his trusty knives from his pocket and eyed three henchmen looking his way. V jumped towards them and threw three knives. His knives hit all three of them in the face. V said, "Bless you, Knife God of Alcatraz." Wrenchninja waited for a henchmen to walk his way. Wrenchninja eyed one coming his way and grabbed the henchmen's neck. He whispered into his ear, "Zed... Bring out the gimp." Wrenchninja snapped his neck and laughed.
LCK ran to the third floor and jumped on the banister, kicking a henchmen down and shooting another while getting behind a crate for cover. LCK saw an explosive barrel next to five henchmen. LCK smiled and said, "Thank you, cliche lord..." LCK waited for them to reload and ran towards the henchmen. LCK fired away at the barrel. The barrel exploded causing the five henchmen to go flying all over the place. LCK dodged the bodies flying at him and killed a henchmen who was still alive. Lawlz thought to himself, "Damn... I'm a good teacher."
Finally, all the detectives reached the fourth floor where Commodore Guff was located. Spiff was wheelchair bound due to an accident in the fourth grade when a bully decided it would be hilarous to hold him over the rooftop from a five story building. The results weren't as hilarous as the bully thought. Commodore Guff said, "Welcome, gentlemen. Ah, Lawlz... The Outsider Clan's old foe... You've been a thorn in the Outsider Clan for far too long, Lawlz... See, in my hand, I hold the self destruct button to blow up this entire facility. You all can leave now and spare your lives or foolishly kill me which would kill yourselves." Kaz laughed, "Dude, you don't have any explosives. You wouldn't do something so cliche."
Commodore Guff replied, "I do. Let me prove it." He pressed the button and a woman's JMVoice came over the intercom saying, "Self destruct in one minute." Spiff said, "Oh, shit... Look what you made me do!" Lawlz screamed, "Detectives, run! LCK, help me get Spiff out of here!" Lawlz grabbed a crate and smashed Spiff oJMVer the head with it to knock him out. They grabbed Spiff and ran down the fourth floor. The woman's voice returned and told them there was thirty seconds remaining. Lawlz came up with an idea from his years of watching Saturday morning cartoons. They put Spiff's body on the banister and used his body as a sled all the way down. They could still hear '2000 Man' playing as they went down.
The woman's voice came back on and it was ten seconds left as they reached the first floor. They grabbed his body and ran out of the facility. The woman's voice returned and told them self destruct mode initiated. The facility exploded as Lawlz and LCK jumped with Spiff's body to get away from the explosion. They had made it. LCK asked, "How the hell did you figure that one out?" Lawlz answered, "A genius by the name of Chuck Jones." LCK asked, "The singer?" Lawlz smacked LCK.
shuld i finish this
Chapter Fourteen: The Delicious Taste of Royal Jewel Ice Cream Sandwiches
Lawlz and LCK headed back to the station with Commodore Guff in the back seat when they got a craving for the delicious flavor of Ruby Jewel Ice Cream Sandwiches. The cruncy beauty of the two cookie which hold the sensual vanilla ice cream inside... Lawlz said, "Dude, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" LCK said, "Only if you're thinking Ruby Jewel Ice Cream Sandwiches!" Commodore Guff said, "Hey, did I hear someone mention Ruby Jewel Ice Cream Sandwiches?"
They reached the station and all three got a Ruby Jewel Ice Cream Sandwich. Lawlz moaned in ectasy as he took a huge bite of the beautifully hand crafted treat. LCK sighed as the ice cream rolled down the back of his throat, tickling all the way down. Commodore Guff cried when he finished the entire thing. Lawlz said, "Hey, turn that frown upside down! You can have seconds if you tell us who's the big jerk behind this whole thing!" Commodore Guff lit up and said, "GIMME GIMME GIMME!"
Commodore Guff was handed another Ruby Jewel Ice Cream Sandwich which can be bought from rubyjewel.com at affordable prices for all. Commodore Guff savored each bite of the Ruby Jewel Ice Cream Sandwich. When he finished, he licked his hands and the wrapper which showed there were very few calories and fat in the whole ice cream sandwich.
Finally, Commodore Guff was ready to tell Lawlz and LCK who the big cheese was... Commodore Guff cleared his throat several times to make sure the delicious Ruby Jewel Ice Cream Sandwich would not interfere with the very important thing he was about to say. Commodore Guff adjusted his crotch. Lawlz wipped his brow. LCK did not blink his eyes.
Commodore Guff uttered...
(http://blog.sportscolumn.com/images/storyimages/technicaldifficulties.jpg)
sux :|
lol hai can i b in ur story olol
im so fucking badass in that part. luv u andrews. caterpie;
Chapter Fifteen: Commodore Guff Tattles
Drumroll, please.
No drumroll? How about a fingertap roll?
That doesn't fit out budget?
Golf clap? No?
Just get it done?
But, I want to make them wait. Look at them...
Eagerly scrolling down the page to see what Commodore Guff says...
Wait, you mean they haven't read a thing and they've just been reading the final sentence?
You mean no one likes me?
WELL, FUCK THEM! I DON'T NEED THEM!
I do? Alright, fine... I'll say it... For the hardcore fans.
Commodore Guff cleared his throat and said, "It is...
KARL101."
Chapter Sixteen: THE ULTIMATE BATTLE
Lawlz uttered, "Sweet Jesus... We've finally found out where he is... Bless you, you wheelchair bound savior! Quick, LCK! To Outsider Tower!" LCK and Lawlz ran out of the building and headed towards IGN Tower. Karl was located on the top floor as Commodore Guff said. The rest of the detectives were in hot pursuit. LCK said, "Lawlz... This is the ultimate battle. Whoever wins this wins the war. We've got to win it, Lawlz... For Trevor. For Reaper. For Boyah. For the city." Lawlz nodded and said, "Let's do it... For Trevor." LCK added, "And?" Lawlz sighed, "And Reaper, Boyah, and the city, I guess..."
Finally, they arrived at Outsider Tower, the tallest building in Boyah City. Randy Karl had purchased a penthouse at the highest floor complete with it's own pool and a heliport. The rest of the detectives arrived. Lawlz debrifed them all and finished with the speech LCK gave in the car. Everyone grabbed their weapons which included 12 gauge shotguns, Uzis, Colt .45s, chainsaws, Russian knives, and a fork. Everyone grabbed their weapons and Kaz said, "Don't worry, Mal... This one's for you, pal... This one's for you..."
They walked in the door when the front desk clerk asked, "Excuse me but do you have a permit to be in here?" JMV grabbed his shotgun and said, "You want my permit? Here's my permit, you clerk bitch." JMV blew the clerk away and smoked a cigar. Everyone stared. JMV said, "Hey, he committied the crime of disturbing the peace. My peace." Everyone laughed and Lawlz said, "Oh, JMV... You slay us." They walked into the elevator and tried to get to the 100th floor. They finally reached the 100th floor after ten minutes of playing paper football.
They walked into Karl's penthouse and LCK screamed, "I'M A COP O-" Karl yelled, "SHUT THE FUCK UP! EVERYONE'S HEARD THAT THIRTY TIMES! GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! I'M INSIDE MY OFFICE AND ONLY I CAN GET IN THERE! GUARDS, BLOW THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE FUCKS!" Bassir was the first to attack. He took out two Uzis and began firing at five henchmen at once. The five henchmen tried to shoot Bassir but he was sliding too fast for them to get him. They collapsed on the floor as Bassir smiled grimly. LCK was the next to come out and he used his twelve gauge shotgun on the henchmen trying to sneak behind him. His brains blew all over Lawlz.
Lawlz screamed, "NOT ON MY GOOD SUIT!" Lawlz took out a fork and began crazily stabbing all of the henchmen. He ran up to a henchmen and used his fork to pluck his eyeball out. Lawlz forced the henchmen to eat the eyeball while the henchmen was still alive. Lawlz laughed, "Tastes good, don't it? How about seconds?" Lawlz plucked out his second eye and forced the henchmen to eat it. The henchmen choked on the second eyeball and died. Lawlz said, "You know, people in third world countries are starving. You better finish it!" Lawlz punched his throat so the eyeball would fall all the way in.
V took out his trusty knives and began to wall run, throwing knives at the henchmen. He hit ten of them in the head while he air kicked a henchmen who fly into the glass which caused him to fall one hundred stories. He didn't survive. Kaz took out two chainsaws and screamed, "I'M GOING TO TAKE MY ANGER ON FOX OUT ON YOU, HENCHMEN!" Kaz cut five henchmen into pink dust while screaming, "INARA! I LOVE YOU!" JMV waited for two henchmen to under him from the second floor. When they were above him, JMV used his machetes to hold their foots in place. While they were stuck, JMV jumped onto the second floor while beating the living shit out of them.
Finally, all the henchmen were killed. Only Karl was left in his office. They all walked up and opened the door. What they saw shocked them. Kaz shit himself. JMV threw up. Lawlz clenched his fists. LCK cried. Bassir bit his lip. V screamed, "WTF!" What they saw was...
Chapter Seventeen: The Identity
Randy Karl is Michael Bay. Bay laughed at their shock. Bay said, "You're surprised? You fools should have been able to guess when Bay first showed up on the scene. Who wouldn't suspect Michael Bay of dealing drugs in RT City?" The detectives answered in unison, "No one." Bay scoffed, "Please. Bay thought it was fairly obvious." Kaz screamed, "That's because you're the one dealing the drugs, you dumb fuck!" Bay said, "Please, you're probably one of those who liked that dumb 80s cartoon." Bassir screamed, "IT'S NOT DUMB AND THE SHOW IS CALLED TRANSFORMERS, YOU HACK!"
Michael Bay yelled, "MICHAEL BAY IS NOT A HACK! MICHAEL BAY IS ALL! ALL IS MICHAEL BAY! YOU BEST RECOGNIZE!" Michael Bay threw a flash bang grenade. The detectives were blinded. Bay ran to his helicoptor and started it up, laughing all the way. The effects of the flash bang grenade wore off and the detectives ran for the helicoptor. The helicoptor finally lifted off the ground but only two detectives were able to grab onto the landing sticks for the helicoptor: Lawlz and LCK.
Bay screamed, "GIVE UP, YOU TWO! BAY HAS WON!" LCK yelled, "Never! Not as long as slime like you still exists, Bay! The Manojary Clan will be disbanded!" The two got into the helicoptor and realized their guns must've fell out when they hung onto the helicoptor. Bay put the helicoptor on auto-pilot and began to laugh as he turned around. He had a gun in his hand. Bay said, "Who wants to die first?" He aims the gun at Lawlz. Bay asks, "You?" He then aims the gun at LCK. Bay asks, "How about you? Well, I've only got one bullet left in the gun anyway. Looks like I'll have to make the choice." Bay fires.
omg fucking awesome. we kick ass. rock
rofl, lawlz and a fork?
Chapter Nineteen: The Finale
Bay fired his gun. He had shot Lawlz in the chest. Lawlz struggled to stand up. He grunted and stumbled out of the helicoptor. Bay laughed manically. LCK looked at the falling Lawlz and Bay. LCK had one choice to make. LCK dived out of the helicoptor for Lawlz. Bay screamed, "BAY LIVES AGAIN! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE OUTSIDER, YOU FOOLS!" LCK fell straight towards Lawlz's body and held him. LCK saw the ever approaching water and said, "Lawlz... This sucks."
They hit the water hard. They went about fifty feet underwater. LCK grabbed Lawlz's body and swam for the top. After twenty seconds, they made it back to the surface. LCK struggled to keep Lawlz afloat. Lawlz was breathing slower and slower. Lawlz could barely talk. He uttered, "LCK... Listen to my last words..." LCK was on the verge of crying, "What, Lawlz? What?" Lawlz said, "You know... I lived life poorly. I haven't spent a lot of time with my family..." LCK said, "You have a family?"
Lawlz nodded and said, "Yes... They were barely mentioned in the first paragraph as a lame way to build support for character. But... I must say a few things before I die, LCK... Don't interrupt me... I need you... To kill Michael Bay... Obviously... I wanted to tell you... That you are... Without a doubt... The finest detective I have ever seen... I am glad to be... In the presence... Of someone of your skill capacity... Remember when... You had two guns... A toothpick... In your mouth? That was... Fucking... Awesome... I want... My last words to be... I lived a good life... I only wish... It... Was... Lon... G...e...r..." Lawlz let out his last breath and passed away.
LCK screamed, "BAY! BAY! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" LCK had to use his partner's corpse as an object to use to swim back to shore. LCK threw up from that. Of course, he threw up away from the corpse. LCK saw the helicoptor fly over him. He saw Bay stand up and wave at him. Bay gave him the finger and flew away. LCK bit his lip so hard, he began to bleed. LCK finally swam back to shore and grabbed Lawlz's body. He was going to bring this hero's body back home... Back to Boyah HQ...
Meanwhile, on the helicoptor, Bay was still laughing manically. He called someone on his cell phone. Bay said, "Ah, hello... Yes... They think I'm the leader... Isn't that cute? They don't know you're the leader... I don't think they ever will... I killed that Lawlzjew fellow. I think his partner, LCK, survived. But... He shouldn't be a problem... Goodbye, sir."
Finally, LCK got back to Boyah HQ where the other detectives were at. LCK dropped Lawlz's body and said, "The bastard... He got him... I didn't kill him too... I can't believe it..." The other detectives tried to console him but LCK screamed, "NO! NO! That's it! You all have held me back! You and your fucking laws! I'm resigning from this detective force! I'm going to catch that fucking Bay! Fuck you all!" LCK stormed out of Boyah HQ and threw his badge on the floor. Metalhead said, "Oh, God... Who's going to be the two stars of the story now?"
Three days later, the funeral of James Lawlz began. Lawlz's family, all of the detectives, Reaper, and the higher ups showed up to pay their respects. LCK was not to be found anywhere. Finally, Reaper gave a beautiful eulogy on Lawlz and said, "Lawlz was a heroic detective. He gave his life to save this city from the Outsider Clan. While he may not have succeded, Lawlz has killed many Outsider Soliders, Office, Lietuanaunt, Sergeants, and whatnot... He was a great man. Let us pay our respects." As Lawlz was lowered into his grave, from behind a tree, LCK was watching. LCK wept a tear as he walked away from graveyard. LCK grabbed his gun and went off into the town. At the wake, Kaz asked, "All right, Reaper... Who's going to be the two stars of this show?" Reaper answered, "I cannot say right now. Just pay your respects to Lawlz, Kaz... Just pay your respects..."
Fin
Dammit lawlz! nooooo!!1
Must do more. Now. rock
oh u want sequel
u want to see what happens to genie
too bad
life does not have a problem solver :|
dsfargeg
bumped so i can post easierly
Fine work as always Andrew