I'm leaving and never coming back! gonk;
Well, after, this new story I had just come up with, of course. Welcome to the Boyah Masterpiece Theatre! For this installment, we shall be reading the biography of the biggest rock band of all time... The Boyagers. This follows their exploits from the psychedelic 60s to the whiny 90s to their eventual break up. Filled with drama on every page, guitarist Kaz wrote this biography on his group's adventures. The band's breakup was blamed on the band's manager, Lawlz. But, in this story, there is more than meets the eye... Let us begin, The Boyagers: Ass Backwards through Time.
What a great time for a new story. flower;
Please provide lulz, good sir. powerofone;
I better be a dancer for the band who gets shot on-stage during their last performance.
oh and have the band cover Kokomo at one point in their career.
I want to be a back-up singer lol.
Perfect timing and story idea. flower;
Quote from: The Joker on August 30, 2007, 06:42:37 PM
Please provide lulz, good sir. powerofone;
With Andrew, lulz are a guarantee. educate;
I wanna be...
aw hell i'll probably just end up being the steriotypical white guy doing the 2 step psyduck;
Quote from: Your Posting Rival on August 30, 2007, 06:46:51 PM
I wanna be...
aw hell i'll probably just end up being the steriotypical white guy doing the 2 step psyduck;
Don't worry; I'll be doing something like the hustle.
Quote from: WrenchxNinja on August 30, 2007, 06:47:51 PM
Don't worry; I'll be doing something like the hustle.
Elementary school dance favorite thumbup;
Quote from: Your Posting Rival on August 30, 2007, 06:46:51 PM
I wanna be...
aw hell i'll probably just end up being the steriotypical white guy doing the 2 step psyduck;
At least you'll be in it.
I call being the asshole club owner
Chapter One: Battle of the Bands
In Houdini's garage, the four Boyagers played their souls out. Houdini was drumming masterfully. He screamed, "Yeah! Yeah! FUCK YEAH!" Houdini's father screamed, "Houdini! Stop playing your devil music and get the negro out of my house!" V, while playing an awesome bass guitar riff, said, "I'm black and I'm proud, sir!" Kaz, meanwhile, was playing the greatest guitar solo in the history of mankind. Reaper sang like an angel and said the beautiful lyrics, "So, yeah! Touch me! Right there! In my crotch! Whoo! Great job, guys! We're so going to win the Battle of the Bands contest. When is it?" Kaz said, "Oh, it's starting right now. We better go!"
They had been practicing for the Battle of the Bands for weeks. Now, they could win. They had traveled to the backstage when they saw their arch nemesis playing... The Outsiders. Ugh, they sounded like fucking shit... V grabbed a pipe and said, "Hey, y'all! Should I beats them with the pipe?" Houdini said, "Not now, V... Wait... We'll beat them with a pipe... But, with our music! Let us play!" The Outsiders had finished their shitty ass song. Guff said to V, "Hey, nigger. The stage is too white for your kind." V said, "Fuck you, honky."
Finally, the Boyagers took their stage and played "Mama, Don't Eat That". The crowd was in a frenzy. They threw various undergardments onto the stage. V took a fat white woman's underwear and sniffed it intensly as he played the bass guitar with his teeth. The announcer, Mariofreak, came onto the stage and said, "The winner is... The Outsiders! Give these good ol' white boys a round of applause!"
The Boyagers grabbed a couple of root beers and sat in the back of the school steps when a shadowy figure apperead. It spoke, "I saw you boys play... You were good... I'm John Lawlz, music producer of Atlantic Records and I want you boys... To be... My next... Rock... Band... So... Sign this contract and I own your so- as- Uh... You're part of the company if you sign it! I covered that up pretty well!" Everyone signed it and, thus, the Boyagers were born.
ROFL.
"V took a fat white woman's underwear and sniffed it intensly as he played the bass guitar with his teeth."
I see another masterpiece in your future, anjew. ^____^
I fucking lol'd at the Reaper singing part. Then V is being a man like usual.
HAHA!
Watch it... I'll be a geeky #1 fan lol
haha that's awesome
Damn right I'm the guitarist
shut up kaz : |
now should i do chapter two
Quote from: Andrew1911 on August 30, 2007, 07:04:19 PM
shut up kaz : |
now should i do chapter two
DO IT FAGGOT
Quote from: Andrew1911 on August 30, 2007, 07:04:19 PM
shut up kaz : |
now should i do chapter two
YES
would you mind not being slow as shit with this though |:
Quote from: Andrew1911 on August 30, 2007, 07:04:19 PM
shut up kaz : |
now should i do chapter two
Do it now, nub. : |
Chapter Two: huh chapter
The Boyagers took a plane to scenic Hollywood to Atlantic Records HQ. Lawlz said, "Now, just a warning, the Outsiders were also signed to a rival record label. We want you to kill them. In record sales. Not literally. One of our artists took that a bit too seriously and has been enjoying time in state prison... So, we're going to let you meet with our number one artists like The Beatles! It's going to be a huge feast and party where we're announcing signing you four to our label and V... Do you think you could white it up a little? Because you're kind of black... Really black." V said, "I'm black, honky. That's my angle." Lawlz said, "Fine, be black, negro. Damn nappy headed hos..."
Two hours later, they arrived at the large party. All four went on their seperate paths as they meet various people. Kaz met John Lennon and said, "Wow, Mr. Lennon! I'm a huge fan!" Lennon said, "Wow, thanks, man... Wish I could find a girl, though." Kaz said, "Don't worry, Mr. Lennon. I'll find one at this party! Hm... How about that Chinese lady?" Lennon said, "Hm... Seems cool... I'll meet with her! Thanks, man, you just saved the Beatles!" Reaper met Mick Jagger eating a large sub. Reaper said, "Whoa, Mr. Jagger, you're awesome! That Brian Jones guy is kind of bringing your awesomeness down? Also, Exile on Main Street? More like Boredom on Exile Street? You should stop making albums like that and make different ones! People will look back on your 60s and 70s stuff and go, 'Ha! Those were crap compared to their recent stuff!' Jagger said, "Wow, that's a great idea! You just made the Rolling Stones better, bro!"
V met Jimi Hendrix declining weed. V said, "Whoa, man, you gotta smoke weed and tell that damn government who's boss, Mr. Hendrix. It's not like drugs are going to kill you. The government is." Hendrix said, "You're right, man! I'm going to experiment like no other guitarist has done before! Thanks, black dude!" Houdini met David Bowie and said, "Hey, Mr. Bowie, keep doing what you're doing. You're doing good. Make sure you lead and never follow." Bowie said, "You're right, I shouldn't follow the music trends. I'll set them myself. Thanks, you little wonder, you." Finally, the announcement was ready.
Lawlz said, "Ladies and gentlemen... The Boyagers, the star of Atlantic Records!" They were introduced to the world as they played their first national song ever, 'Whoa, No War, Man'. They played with the white hot intensity of one thousand assholes shitting at once. Jimi Hendrix snorted five lines of cocaine in a row and screamed, "That is the greatest thing I have ever heard in my entire life! That V is the fucking best bass guitarist ever! Holy shit, I'm fucking high! The colors!" Lennon said, "That Kaz fellow helped me meet the love of my life! He's the greatest!" Music history was made.
" Kaz said, "Don't worry, Mr. Lennon. I'll find one at this party! Hm... How about that Chinese lady?" Lennon said, "Hm... Seems cool... I'll meet with her! Thanks, man, you just saved the Beatles!" "
I lol'd so fucking hard
i'm the token black guy, still. nigro;
MOAR MOAR
I like how the drummer is the only one's smart. burned;
"It's not like drugs are going to kill you.
Nappy headed hos"
Very nicely added, Andrew.
more compliments or no new chapter :|
I like V's perosnality. china;
Quote from: Andrew1911 on August 30, 2007, 07:41:35 PM
more compliments or no new chapter :|
it was great. very funny. i loved it. beautiful. new chapter,bitch.
Quote from: Andrew1911 on August 30, 2007, 07:41:35 PM
more compliments or no new chapter :|
Andrew, you're the real god.
Good enough? : |
I thought I was the guitarist, not the bassist. gonk;
But seriously, great little touches, like the whole "Yoko ruining the Beatles" reference and such.
ALSO ATLANTIC WAS LED ZEPPELIN'S LABEL AS WELL WOOOOO
Quote from: Kaz on August 30, 2007, 07:46:08 PM
I thought I was the guitarist, not the bassist. gonk;
But seriously, great little touches, like the whole "Yoko ruining the Beatles" reference and such.
ALSO ATLANTIC WAS LED ZEPPELIN'S LABEL AS WELL WOOOOO
oh yea...
them. :
|fixed
Chapter Three: The Recording of The Biggest Album of All Time
Lawlz said, "Now, gentlemen... Go make us a record. The Beatles allowed you to use the Abbey Road studio. For some reaosn, the band says they're having problems with Lennon. Hm... Don't know why. Now, go record!" The four headed down to Abbey Road studio on a plane and got there fast. The recording for their untitled album was intense. Reaper yelled, "Come on, guys! Mr. Lawlz told us to do good here! V, stop playing like a negro and more like a white bassist! Kaz, stop smoking! Houdini, stop reading that stupid Rolling Stone magazine! It'll never last! V, stop licking that white woman's asshole! Let's get recording on 'No War or Bust'!"
They had finished the A sides and they moved on to the B sides. It went much smoother than the A side recording and they all thought they did a good job. V said, "Y'all, I think we did all right. But... What are we going to call it?" Houdini said, "Hm... How about Hot and Heavy?" Reaper said, "That's awful... The Boyagers?" Houdini interjected, "Yeah, let's label our album that! Fucking brilliant idea! I mean, it's never been done before in the history of music to title an album on your band name! Fuck." V said, "How about V's Magical Journey?" Kaz joked, "Save it for your solo album."
Kaz suggested, "How about Rip This Joint?" The four liked the album name and agreed to label their first album, Rip This Joint. The album cover would be the group playing their various instruments. The album would release on February 15th, 1971. People all over the world were excited during the release. It made record sales and it recieved rave reviews. One reviewer said, "I felt like I died and went to heaven... Rock heaven!" Lawlz said, "Congratulations, boys! Your North American tour is next up! Great job!" Kaz said, "Tour? Sweet. Nothing could possibly go wrong..."
"V, stop playing like a negro"
Haha. V is the most entertaining character in this.
TENSION IS BUILDING. MORE PLZ.
more compliments on this chapter or no new chapter :|
" V said, "How about V's Magical Journey?" Kaz joked, "Save it for your solo album."
kaz shot down my dream. gonk;
Andrew, I will rip your joint if you don't start on the next chapter. argh;
Can I pull a Roger Waters and yell at the crowd during the tour, and then spit in the face of a spectator, because the crowd's too loud and full of teenagers that don't actually care about the music?
Quote from: Kaz on August 30, 2007, 08:08:41 PM
Can I pull a Roger Waters and yell at the crowd during the tour, and then spit in the face of a spectator, because the crowd's too loud and full of teenagers that don't actually care about the music?
Or pull a Akon or Justin Timberlake. powerofone;
On this tour, ONE. BAND. MEMBER. WILL. DIE.
Quote from: Andrew1911 on August 30, 2007, 08:17:37 PM
On this tour, ONE. BAND. MEMBER. WILL. DIE.
Who's dying? I've been in suspense.
Quote from: WrenchxNinja on August 30, 2007, 08:30:32 PM
Who's dying? I've been in suspense.
huh u want nww chapter
moar posts
Quote from: Andrew1911 on August 30, 2007, 08:32:36 PM
huh u want nww chapter
moar posts
Andrew, your story is a story I want someone reading to me while having sex.
new fucking chapter. argh;
i need the lulz.
HEY, JEW BOY! START WORKING ON YOUR FUCKING STORY OR GO BACK IN THE GOD DAMNED OVEN!
huh new chapter
you lazy bastard |:
oh ya new chapter
coming up in thirty minutes or less or ur next chapter is free
woot, next chapter is free dance;