blu's pathetic life updates

[bluaki]

i don't think your updates so far have been pathetic, if you literally meant that w/ out being "ironic" or loosely joking around- you're trying @ least

It is pathetic, because even after all this time and effort, I've really made no progress at all

Everything I've seen online about transpeople seems to suggest that the problems I have are a non-issue to most of them; it seems to be the average case that someone can only just realize they're trans and start getting treatment for it within a few months. And many of them are nowhere near as serious about it at me and quite a few even change their minds after starting. So my complete lack of progress after years of unwavering desire frustrates me even more.

[ncba93ivyase]

Take a visit to a northern state and it'll be no problem

Really, school's ending soon so take a week or two this summer to try

[don't let's]

i don't think your updates so far have been pathetic, if you literally meant that w/ out being "ironic" or loosely joking around- you're trying @ least

It is pathetic, because even after all this time and effort, I've really made no progress at all

Everything I've seen online about transpeople seems to suggest that the problems I have are a non-issue to most of them; it seems to be the average case that someone can only just realize they're trans and start getting treatment for it within a few months. And many of them are nowhere near as serious about it at me and quite a few even change their minds after starting. So my complete lack of progress after years of unwavering desire frustrates me even more.

Are they usually a lot older than you, or about the same age, or younger?

[6M69I69B9]

i don't think your updates so far have been pathetic, if you literally meant that w/ out being "ironic" or loosely joking around- you're trying @ least.  it's just the ppl around you that keep you away from pursuing stuff

It is pathetic, because even after all this time and effort, I've really made no progress at all

Everything I've seen online about transpeople seems to suggest that the problems I have are a non-issue to most of them; it seems to be the average case that someone can only just realize they're trans and start getting treatment for it within a few months. And many of them are nowhere near as serious about it at me and quite a few even change their minds after starting. So my complete lack of progress after years of unwavering desire frustrates me even more.

Well, I can't say for those people and how your problems are being interpreted as.  But part of the reason why your progress has been halted is because you've had a number of "disablers" (If that's a legitimate term.) in your life- people you can't control- one of them being ur mom. 

You need to get away from toxic people in your life. 

Hm...let's say the recent therapist you've been going to sees that you have gender dysphoria instead, and like the other time, you're approved for prescription drugs and etc., and hormones at a later time.  Would your mom intervene again?  Does she have access to your mail or any online documents?  Actually- how did your mom find out previously, if not too personal?  Do you live with her? 

Well, all of these questions are optional. 

[bluaki]

Hm...let's say the recent therapist you've been going to sees that you have gender dysphoria instead, and like the other time, you're approved for prescription drugs and etc., and hormones at a later time.  Would your mom intervene again?  Does she have access to your mail or any online documents?  Actually- how did your mom find out previously, if not too personal?  Do you live with her? 

Well, all of these questions are optional. 

She found out because I had the medicine bottle with me when I went home for Thanksgiving

Last time, the reason my mom claimed for interfering was that it's too sudden, which apparently boils down to she didn't take me seriously about this for years and didn't expect me to ever do anything

Now, if she found out, she'd probably want to interfere again, this time with a reason of me not involving her enough with the therapy. Of course, because of seeing what happened last time, I know what precautions to take so that she can't affect my life at all.

I live in a different city for school, so I can get mail here, but my permanent residence is still considered to be the house that my mom and grandmother live in. My grandmother is always the one who checks the mail, and she at least understands that my mom can't be trusted with mail; my mom's mail handling strategy is to throw everything in a pile that she believes she'll check eventually.

For example, in January, I made a new bank account, because my mom is the one who set up the one I've been using before, she has a checkbook for it, and she treats the account like her own. Of course, this is at a different bank which my mom probably doesn't even know exists. Though I set the new account to send minimal mail, there were a few things it had to send to my permanent address, so my grandmother agreed to forward it to me without letting my mom know.

Though my current on-campus mailbox sucks and has its address rejected from a lot of address-validity checkers, I'm moving out to an off-campus apartment after this semester ends and will hopefully be able to use the apartment address for everything.

[Andria]

Best of luck. I truly hope nothing else gets in your way.

[Unknown Entity]

I really must commend you on this.

Even after all the annoyances, you still insist on getting this done with.

And...I hope you get what you want.

--

This seems like a more complicated process than I had thought...

[bluaki]

And here's another failure.

There's another therapist who my previous two suggested, this time an older man who happens to also be a psychology professor at my school
His psychologist profile looked good enough, so I sent an email requesting a visit
He replied saying "Currently my practice is limited to working exclusively with couples."

Why was he personally suggested by the others? They even have offices in the same building and probably know each other

As far as I can tell, there's only one remaining suitable therapist in this area, so I just tried sending her the same email requesting a visit.

[6M69I69B9]

Hm...let's say the recent therapist you've been going to sees that you have gender dysphoria instead, and like the other time, you're approved for prescription drugs and etc., and hormones at a later time.  Would your mom intervene again?  Does she have access to your mail or any online documents?  Actually- how did your mom find out previously, if not too personal?  Do you live with her?  

Well, all of these questions are optional.  

She found out because I had the medicine bottle with me when I went home for Thanksgiving

Last time, the reason my mom claimed for interfering was that it's too sudden, which apparently boils down to she didn't take me seriously about this for years and didn't expect me to ever do anything

Now, if she found out, she'd probably want to interfere again, this time with a reason of me not involving her enough with the therapy. Of course, because of seeing what happened last time, I know what precautions to take so that she can't affect my life at all.

I live in a different city for school, so I can get mail here, but my permanent residence is still considered to be the house that my mom and grandmother live in. My grandmother is always the one who checks the mail, and she at least understands that my mom can't be trusted with mail; my mom's mail handling strategy is to throw everything in a pile that she believes she'll check eventually.

For example, in January, I made a new bank account, because my mom is the one who set up the one I've been using before, she has a checkbook for it, and she treats the account like her own. Of course, this is at a different bank which my mom probably doesn't even know exists. Though I set the new account to send minimal mail, there were a few things it had to send to my permanent address, so my grandmother agreed to forward it to me without letting my mom know.

Though my current on-campus mailbox sucks and has its address rejected from a lot of address-validity checkers, I'm moving out to an off-campus apartment after this semester ends and will hopefully be able to use the apartment address for everything.

whenever i try to hide things- i scan my person, my backpack, etc. like 5x-10x and try to leave references to something i want personal.  i am very keen on this.  i'd suggest the same thing unless you couldn't afford ditching your medication for a certain amount of time

and wow, you have a very great grandmother.  props to her for doing such favors.  

i wish i had an idea of what your mom looks like

and i think moving is a good idea.

As far as I can tell, there's only one remaining suitable therapist in this area, so I just tried sending her the same email requesting a visit.

how's th@ going

[bluaki]

I just had my first and last visit with another psychologist

She recognized me from my previous visit to my school's counseling center more than two years ago

I don't even remember her reasoning behind it, but she says she's not a very good option for my case and referred me away in the first visit. I think it has something to do with commitment involved in taking my case and her apparently only working with counseling one day a week.

Before I left, though, the discussion didn't seem to be going very well at all: she seemed to strongly believe in slow-as-molasses transition process; saying, for example, that transpeople should be presenting as female in their everyday life for like a year before even starting hormones. And to think I came in believing she might be surprised that I haven't made progress in these two years.

She also said I should see a psychiatrist for depression issues. It's not like the previous therapist in that she thinks I'm something else instead of trans, but rather that the two conditions go together.

She gave me two names for suggested referrals, but I looked up their therapist profiles and neither indicated a focus on transsexual patients. One of them was very close to here, the other was so far that my transportation round-trip by bus would be about 100 minutes per visit.

So I'm ignoring these suggestions.

I sort of have one option left: one of the names my good therapist left me before is a guy who I can reach in a reasonable time, but he's LMHC non-doctorate, which I'm wary of. But I'll go for it since I'm seriously out of options.

[bluaki]

On a more positive note, although it has nothing to do with gender transition (of course), since I have a thread for my personal events I'll post it here

I'm moving tomorrow (today?) to the off-campus apartment I'll stay at during the summer. The previous tenant ended up offering me his old bed today (yesterday?), which I didn't think I'd get, so that's one less thing I have to worry about buying for the move.

Until now I've always avoided everybody I've ever lived with, but now I'll actually live with people who I can hold conversations with, play video games with, watch anime with, etc.

[ncba93ivyase]

she seemed to strongly believe in slow-as-molasses transition process; saying, for example, that transpeople should be presenting as female in their everyday life for like a year before even starting hormones.

like i told you: dress obnoxiously girly and you'll be fine

it's better to do it once than spend your whole life going between psychologists

[bluaki]

I forgot to post it earlier: starting about two weeks ago, I switched to another therapist.

Unlike the others I've tried recently, this one seems like he actually wants to help me. But he's not a doctorate. He also gives me the impression that he's not all that familiar with what I have to do even though he claims he's been dealing with transgender patients for a long time.

When I mentioned the endocrinologist I plan to switch to next, he said he hasn't heard anything about them requiring a therapist referral. So I just tried to simply arrange an appointment with that doctor.

The secretary gave me an appointment that's a whole month from now (June 13).

She said that she doesn't think insurance covers a gender dysphoria diagnosis. When I said that I saw another endocrinologist before and had the visits covered, she said I need to have my insurance company send authorization saying that they will cover my visits.

My insurance company (for school-provided insurance, which I used for the other doctor) says that they never pre-authorize anything and that they only handle cases after the treatment date when a claim form is filed.
I also have Tricare insurance, which I'm having another set of problems with. They suddenly are saying that I have zero coverage now after my 21st birthday (even though before they said I was set until 22) and that I have to physically bring proof of full-time student enrollment to a military base in order to regain coverage for up to two more years.

The cost of this visit, without insurance, would be $250.

[PLEASEHELP1991]

I forgot to post it earlier: starting about two weeks ago, I switched to another therapist.

Unlike the others I've tried recently, this one seems like he actually wants to help me. But he's not a doctorate. He also gives me the impression that he's not all that familiar with what I have to do even though he claims he's been dealing with transgender patients for a long time.

When I mentioned the endocrinologist I plan to switch to next, he said he hasn't heard anything about them requiring a therapist referral. So I just tried to simply arrange an appointment with that doctor.

The secretary gave me an appointment that's a whole month from now (June 13).

She said that she doesn't think insurance covers a gender dysphoria diagnosis. When I said that I saw another endocrinologist before and had the visits covered, she said I need to have my insurance company send authorization saying that they will cover my visits.

My insurance company (for school-provided insurance, which I used for the other doctor) says that they never pre-authorize anything and that they only handle cases after the treatment date when a claim form is filed.
I also have Tricare insurance, which I'm having another set of problems with. They suddenly are saying that I have zero coverage now after my 21st birthday (even though before they said I was set until 22) and that I have to physically bring proof of full-time student enrollment to a military base in order to regain coverage for up to two more years.

The cost of this visit, without insurance, would be $250.

you might have to travel to tampa to update information on deers, the government database for military dependents
But I don't believe Tricare covers care for gender dysphoria not unlike most state and federal programs.
http://www.humana-military.com/south/provider/TRICAREResources/Handbook/ProvHndbkS6P8.htm
It's one of the listed exclusions.

[ncba93ivyase]

my experience with tricare is that they cover absolutely nothing

also i am completely insurance-free as of april 29th

thanks obama