Hey, Reaper.

[V]

My inquiries, necessarily hasty and perfunctory as I write this letter to meet a deadline, have elicited a wealth of information about Mr. Reaper. Before I launch into my rant, permit me the prelude caveat that Reaper makes assertions that strain credulity. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to free people from the fetters of nepotism's poisonous embrace, I must explain to the population at large that it's a pity that two thousand years after Christ, the voices of amoral meatheads like Reaper can still be heard, worse still that they're listened to, and worst of all that anyone believes them. No doubt, snappish trolls thrive when the rest of us underestimate the threat they pose or are too weak or unorganized to hold the line. But he is simply incapable of entertaining an unorthodox idea. I could write pages on the subject, but the following should suffice. Reaper finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, I am honestly not up on the latest gossip. Still, I have heard people say that given a choice of having Reaper make us dependent on what I call pesky dweebs for political representation, economic support, social position, and psychological approval or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. Reaper's accusations are a vehicle for the expression of prejudice, ignorance, and enmity about people who are different from Reaper, but that's really beside the point. He yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for Reaper, "attract attention" usually implies "give rise to impractical mouthpieces for passive-aggressive, drugged-out conformism".

Reaper carries the seeds of his own self-destruction. But let's not lose perspective. Reaper never stops boasting about his generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, his claimed magnanimousness is completely chimerical and, furthermore, ignorance is bliss. This may be why Reaper's mercenaries are generally all smiles.

We can divide Reaper's suggestions into three categories: profligate, stingy, and aberrent. When Reaper says that it is his moral imperative to create an atmosphere that may temporarily energize or exhilarate, but which, at the same time, will pose the gravest of human threats, in his mind, that's supposed to end the argument. It's like he believes he has said something very profound. The biggest difference between me and Reaper is that Reaper wants to promote the lie of exhibitionism. I, on the other hand, want to allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by him. A final note: The claim that Mr. Reaper commands an army of robots that live in the hollow center of the earth and produce earthquakes whenever they feel like shaking things up a bit on the surface is really illusory.

[V]

I took my time writing this. Please read.

[SBKT]

You should make a summary for the tl;dr's .

I couldn't even start this. Sorry.

[Daddy]

I took my time writing this. Please read.

It's not best to write something with the complaint generator and then put something you actually wrote within minutes of each other.

[V]

I took my time writing this. Please read.

It's not best to write something with the complaint generator and then put something you actually wrote within minutes of each other.

I LOL'D.

[Necro]