Deer! Boyah

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

This is a deer named Deer.

Take a moment to reflect on the word "deer" and visualize just how ridiculous that word is.
Keep doing that while I boil some water.

Now Deer was obviously a deer, but more importantly, Deer was a male whitetail deer, a kind of deer found only in China (around the great wall) and in desert climates such as Wisconsin.

Deer was (he's dead now but you'll find that out at the end of the story) an "alpha" deer, meaning he had access to any female deer (which are officially called "deerettes" in the government approved handbook to nature 2010 edition vol3) he wished and also had complete dominion over his tribe.

Deer was granted his alpha status not because of his lineage, but rather because his tribe was a democratic one. His tribe, being rather large, was cordoned off into sections of woods and each had their own corresponding local branch of rule with appropriate numbers of "mini-alphas" to deal with local matters.

So, Deer and his deer are enjoying life, digging the several scenes when he decides he wants to own the land to the east of the pond. It's dry land and hot land, but Deer wants it, mainly due to the disorganized tribe who owns it.

Deer invades and there's a battle during the night and there's deer ambushing other deer from trees and marine deer slowly coming out of the pond to kill other deer


Like this, but with a deer head.

So, more like this


After the dust has settled, Deer is pleased and tells everyone in his tribe that things are cool and that things are over and that the land to the east of the pond is theirs, but it's really not. There are guerilla bands of angry deer who are still jumping out of trees and killing Deer's deer.

So Deer gets frustrated and goes to meet with the council of forest deer affairs when he's hit by a motorcycle.

[wawi]

inb4llockedandb&

[Dullahan]

I saw a dead deer lying on the side of the road on my commute to school the other day. There was blood all over the road.

[Cookie]

I got hit by a deer a week ago, but my car was fine. Volvo magic

[Samus Aran]

once i was outside at night and a bunch of deer scared me half to death because they make this loud snorting noise when they get scared if you get too close, and it was pitch black so i had no idea they were there, but suddenly there was this loud snort and then i heard them run into the woods

fucking minnesota

[burzumfan420]

in gym class a deer was charging at me. but i was friends with the deer so he just ran past me.

[Samus Aran]

also, deer heart is delicious and i used to eat venison like three times a week, it was like our version of beef because of how damn much of it we had

[Kalahari Inkantation]

i encountered a deer in the forest near my collage

i was only about three yards away from it
i was terrified and didn't move until i was certain it was moving away from me

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

once i was outside at night and a bunch of deer scared me half to death because they make this loud snorting noise when they get scared if you get too close, and it was pitch black so i had no idea they were there, but suddenly there was this loud snort and then i heard them run into the woods

fucking minnesota

Yeah, I actually had a really really similar situation.
A friend's parents have this fantastic piece of land high up north (actually a few friends of mine do) but this one has this beautiful house in the middle of nowhere with acres and acres of woods around it.

There's also a lake.

We go up there a lot.

Night hikes are a favorite, but there's always the remote remote remote chance you might see a black bear. I've seen one before and that was during the day and it was across the pond and blah blah blah.
So one night, after poker, a few of us decided to go do a hike around the outside of the woods. We had a few drinks and were looking to kind of freak each other out. We're not really in the best mindset, see.

We're walking with the flashlight off and throwing branches into the woods to mess with each other when we hear exactly what you described, that snorting sound. Naturally it's either a killer wolf or a bear that feasts on slightly drunken flesh. There's a crash through the brush and we all just fucking bolt towards the house, a good mile away. Looking back, there has to be six or seven deer flying through the brush into the woods, but I'm still flying from the adrenaline and the gin fuzziness.

And then we laughed and laughed.......

[Dullahan]

I got hit by a deer too but there was no serious damage.

[Selkie]

Deer are queer



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[Hiro]

Thread of the Year 2011

[Samus Aran]

Thread of the Year 2011

you mean thread of the deer 2011

[ME##]

i remember i got pretty close to one in a cornfield when i was little.  i was probably more scared than the deer

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

i remember i got pretty close to one in a cornfield when i was little.  i was probably more scared than the deer

Yeah, but they're so great to watch and look at. They have this tame/friendly benevolent aura to them. I'm always pleased when I see one hiking.

Aside from the midnight bear imitators that scare the living shit out of you. Seeing anything moving on a night hike is a potential freak out.