SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT WHAT DO I DO OH FUCK OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD

[Mando Pandango]

I just spotted a house centipede in my room. ON MY BED. I went to get some crushing supplies and I came back and now I can't find it.

Fuck. That.

Sleeping is clearly not an option at this point. I did a hell of a job shaking out my sheets but I still can't be too sure.

HELP ME YOU GUYS THIS IS SERIOUS.

[Tri4se]

Buy a scorpion and release it into your bed. It will eat the centipede like a pro.

then eat scorpion and have baby centipedes burst out of the scorpions stomach that is in you stomach that then burst out of your stomach and crawl back into bed


do that

[Mando Pandango]

I told you this was serious. IF THIS WAS NOT SERIOUS I WOULD BE LAUGHING BUT THIS IS FUCKING SERIOUS.

[Martin]

shoot his mom

[rdl]

at least there aren't like a shitton of spiders under your bed

just, sit, and watch, and fall asleep in your chair.

[Mando Pandango]

UPDATE TIME.

I spotted the fucker on my wall so I trapped it under a dixie cup which I then stuffed with toilet paper. I went back to the toilet to release it, and when I unstuffed the cup IT WAS GONE WHAT THE SHIT WHEN DID THESE THINGS LEARN TO SORCERY?

So then I went back to my room and saw it on the floor near aforementioned wall and did the same routine only successfully and flushed it and now it's gone.

CRISIS AVERTED.

[spoiler]Also those things are pretty good swimmers.[/spoiler]

[Tri4se]

how will you shit now with the constant fear of it crawling up your ass? HOW

[Mando Pandango]

Pssh. Not like that's any scarier than toilet snakes, except toilet snakes are a real threat.

[Indigo]

Flush a fire scorpion down the toilet, it'll eat the centipede and turn into a water scorpion. Then return to the ocean with the rest of it's family. 

[Tri4se]

Flush a fire scorpion down the toilet, it'll eat the centipede and turn into a water scorpion. Then return to the ocean with the rest of it's family. 

this was what i said you asshole

FUCK

[BlackDS]

One centipede on your bed means one hundred underneath it. My weekend house has like 3 centipedes a year, and my father sprays over cleaner on them until they wither and die. They must talk to their little centipede friends and say "Fuck this house, we'll go next door!!"

[Nyerp]

there's a millipede crawling up your back right now

[Bushy]

Buy a tarantula, let it eat the bugs in your house, then get rid of it.

Because arachnids are gross and oh god why do they have so many legs or dear god the legs and the beady little eayes oh god I need a shower

[Travis]

It shat all over your bed.

[Kalahari Inkantation]

It shat all over your bed.

those were eggs