So I was making myself a bagged lunch this morning, and my mom comes down bitching about how I made her miss her subway. I'm like "sorry I had to take a shower". This is where she starts swearing in her heavy southern accent.
"TELL ME SOMETHING, HOW COME IT TAKES ME 5 MINUTES TO TAKE A SHOWER BUT IT TAKES YOU 20?" and then she stares me down and goes "I think I know, and it better stop."
The retarded thing is, she never even gave me the talk.
and just so you know, I don't jack off in the shower, I soap myself up because I'm a germ freak.
This is not appropriate for the Boytendo Boyah Forums.
Quote from: NOA_ANDY on July 25, 2007, 08:11:47 PM
This is not appropriate for the Boytendo Boyah Forums.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Quote from: NOA_ANDY on July 25, 2007, 08:11:47 PM
This is not appropriate for the Boytendo Boyah Forums.
Lolz, power on is for all newb.
A 20 minute shower isn't that long...I take a good 15-20 minutes, and that doesn't include jerking it sometimes. psyduck;
guys r turning ghey
My normal shower is 15 minutes without jacking off. psyduck;
Quote from: Title27GT on July 25, 2007, 08:10:57 PM
So I was making myself a bagged lunch this morning, and my mom comes down bitching about how I made her miss her subway. I'm like "sorry I had to take a shower". This is where she starts swearing in her heavy southern accent.
"TELL ME SOMETHING, HOW COME IT TAKES ME 5 MINUTES TO TAKE A SHOWER BUT IT TAKES YOU 20?" and then she stares me down and goes "I think I know, and it better stop."
The retarded thing is, she never even gave me the talk.
and just so you know, I don't jack off in the shower, I soap myself up because I'm a germ freak.
YAAAAAAAAAY
Also, my mom probably knows I jack off too. In fact, I'm sure of it.
Yeah I have 20 minutes showers too, and I've never wanked in there.
Quote from: Kaz on July 25, 2007, 08:15:32 PM
YAAAAAAAAAY
Also, my mom probably knows I jack off too. In fact, I'm sure of it.
lol how
Quote from: Kaz on July 25, 2007, 08:22:55 PM
Because I got caught with porn twice.
rofl
tell us more
describe the incidents.
I usually take 15-20 minutes showers, and I've never jacked off of any of them...
I take half hour long showers, and hardly ever masturbate. I just can't in the shower, I dunno why. psyduck;
Quote from: Snorkel on July 25, 2007, 08:31:33 PM
I take half hour long showers, and hardly ever masturbate. I just can't in the shower, I dunno why. psyduck;
I can't even do it with my hands gonk;
I take long showers too, but I barely jack off in there.
Quote from: Title27GT on July 25, 2007, 08:23:21 PM
rofl
tell us more
describe the incidents.
The first time, it was because my asshole stepdad searched my room and found a Playboy I had taken from the trailerhouse that sits on his property a good distance from the house. I was 11.
The second time, I was 13, and it was because I was stupid enough to save everything in My Pictures, and when my mom went to save something, of course she saw the thumbnails.
Quote from: *HEN* on July 25, 2007, 08:33:32 PM
The first time, it was because my asshole stepdad searched my room and found a Playboy I had taken from the trailerhouse that sits on his property a good distance from the house. I was 11.
The second time, I was 13, and it was because I was stupid enough to save everything in My Pictures, and when my mom went to save something, of course she saw the thumbnails.
ROFL.
Yea, my mom went through my drawers once. She was about 2 inches away from finding the Playboy 50th Anniversary Edition that I'd had since 2003.
My mom caught me with porn when I was 12, using my computer to download something. The download history window popped up and she saw some naughty titles. china;
Quote from: *HEN* on July 25, 2007, 08:33:32 PM
The first time, it was because my asshole stepdad searched my room and found a Playboy I had taken from the trailerhouse that sits on his property a good distance from the house. I was 11.
The second time, I was 13, and it was because I was stupid enough to save everything in My Pictures, and when my mom went to save something, of course she saw the thumbnails.
C:\Documents and Settings\James Valente\My Documents\Google Talk\wryyy\4chan\slashbslash\girls
Quote from: NOA_ANDY on July 25, 2007, 08:36:20 PM
C:\Documents and Settings\James Valente\My Documents\Google Talk\wryyy\4chan\slashbslash\girls
What a mind blowing orgasm.
Whenever I have porn on my computer, I put it in a zip and then rename it something like "memberslist.daa" or some extension that doesn't exist. magician;
Quote from: Snorkel on July 25, 2007, 08:47:52 PM
Whenever I have porn on my computer, I put it in a zip and then rename it something like "memberslist.daa" or some extension that doesn't exist. magician;
You don't have your own comp?
Today at baseball camp, me and my counsiler realized that we used the same porn sites, and then exchanged our favorite movies.
Quote from: Title27GT on July 25, 2007, 08:50:13 PM
You don't have your own comp?
Today at baseball camp, me and my counsiler realized that we used the same porn sites, and then exchanged our favorite movies.
No, I have my MacBook Pro, but I'm always paranoid that it will be subject to search, and I'm too lazy to encrypt anything.
Actually, someone would have to be pretty determined to navigate my folder tree, anyway. psyduck;
Quote from: Snorkel on July 25, 2007, 08:51:51 PM
No, I have my MacBook Pro, but I'm always paranoid that it will be subject to search, and I'm too lazy to encrypt anything.
Actually, someone would have to be pretty determined to navigate my folder tree, anyway. psyduck;
I almost didn't get to keep my macbook because on my old computer, my mom found me having probably the most vile conversation ever with my friend on AIM. It involved blow jobs and clit blowing. So I went to preferences and now you have to enter my password everytime it even goes to sleep which is everytime i even close the lid.
My mom once walked in on my brother jerking off while listening to Limp Bizkit.
Quote from: Houdini on July 25, 2007, 09:01:32 PM
My mom once walked in on my brother jerking off while listening to Limp Bizkit.
Did she question his sexuality as well as music preference?
Quote from: Title27GT on July 25, 2007, 09:02:03 PM
Did she question his sexuality as well as music preference?
No, she just said "ew" and got the hell out of there.
Quote from: Houdini on July 25, 2007, 09:02:40 PM
No, she just said "ew" and got the hell out of there.
ROFL.
what did she say to you
Quote from: Title27GT on July 25, 2007, 09:03:47 PM
ROFL.
what did she say to you
Nothing. My brother told me about it.
Quote from: Houdini on July 25, 2007, 09:07:59 PM
Nothing. My brother told me about it.
rofl.
did he finish?
Quote from: Title27GT on July 25, 2007, 09:08:54 PM
rofl.
did he finish?
He didn't say anything about finishing the job. Which probably means he did.
Quote from: Houdini on July 25, 2007, 09:11:03 PM
He didn't say anything about finishing the job. Which probably means he did.
Tell him I said good job.
How old was he when this happened?
Quote from: Title27GT on July 25, 2007, 09:11:38 PM
Tell him I said good job.
How old was he when this happened?
14. He's still a dumbass, just in different ways.
Quote from: Houdini on July 25, 2007, 09:12:20 PM
14. He's still a dumbass, just in different ways.
Jesus. Talking to my mom is awkward enough now. I'm gonna go search for hidden cameras.
Quote from: Title27GT on July 25, 2007, 09:13:12 PM
Jesus. Talking to my mom is awkward enough now. I'm gonna go search for hidden cameras.
If your mom is paranoid enough to think that you spend your 15-minute showers choking your chicken, then I wouldn't put that past her. Make sure you lock the bathroom door when you shower.
Quote from: Houdini on July 25, 2007, 09:15:12 PM
If your mom is paranoid enough to think that you spend your 15-minute showers choking your chicken, then I wouldn't put that past her. Make sure you lock the bathroom door when you shower.
Good thing she's never home when I actually AM choking my chicken.
Quote from: Title27GT on July 25, 2007, 09:15:51 PM
Good thing she's never home when I actually AM choking my chicken.
How religious is she?
Quote from: Houdini on July 25, 2007, 09:17:06 PM
How religious is she?
She lived in Texas until the age of 46 edumacate;
Quote from: Title27GT on July 25, 2007, 09:18:19 PM
She lived in Texas until the age of 46 edumacate;
I live in Texas. ;_;
Because I'm root, my parents have no way of doing anything on my user without knowing my password; they have to use the "family" user.
(http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/5438/screenshofd5.png)
Besides, I never leave my computer without locking it.
Quote from: Lithium-Bassir on July 25, 2007, 09:39:06 PM
Because I'm root, my parents have no way of doing anything on my user without knowing my password; they have to use the "family" user.
(http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/5438/screenshofd5.png)
Besides, I never leave my computer without locking it.
Lol, you make your poor family use linux?