Firstly, yes this is copy-pasta'd from my tumblr. Sorry if you hafta read it twice. I just thought boyah might appreciate being part of my internal struggle.
Why is it that there are terms for people who are transgendered to one or the other gender…but not one for those of us who feel we have both genders?
Let me explain as most of my followers will not understand this about me. I’m a pansexual person…and that’s honestly how I see myself. Yes, I have a female body. Am I particularly tied to it? Only because it gets me more ass this way. Also, tits are fun and bouncy. But, I can honestly say that I’d be happy as a man, too. Often times, I feel like a really misogynistic male inside of a female body. And that’s when I don’t know specifically how to explain my particular branch of gender-queerness.
It gets even more complicated when we get into the whole gender-bending aspects of my dress. Most of the time, I dress in what ever is comfortable and yet also forwardly fashion minded. This can be either a pretty dress with frills and bows, or it can be a pair of jeans slouching slightly so you can see my boxers and a button-down shirt with a tie. Yes, I do bind as well (not that there really is much TO bind, but I digress). People get confused with the way I dress, and they often times tell me to keep to one side or the other. I could do this…but I don’t wanna make the choice. It just seems like I should be able to appreciate the beauty of each gender…just like I can appreciate my partners as just people without their genders in specific.
Anyone have any idea how I can identify? I sure as hell don’t.
Now...be nice. I know some people in specific on this site think that this idea is full of bullshit. So, if you don't have anything constructive to say, then just shut the fuck up and keep it to yourself.
Love you all. giggle;
I honestly feel as if you want to experience the world from the dominant perspective of the male, while still retaining all of the privileges and advantages of being a natural female, without any consequence whatsoever, other than fulfilling whatever whimsical overall preference and desire you may have for things. Unfortunately, this is not the way an individual can function in a social group, which is the general set of ideas and practices of many individuals. This you do not like, but it's the nature of the situation.
It is clearly a choice, too much intelligence perhaps, too much confusion, personal issues, perhaps even a subconscious desire to act out in this way so as to blur the distinct nature of men and women in order to diminish or even remove the unique spheres of influence that we occupy in this world, and have done so historically.
As for your style, meh, too much divergence between extremes dilutes any sense of originality or consistency. It's like those confused teenagers who wear all kinds of different shit every other day to show how 'incredible' they are, when really they're just showing they have no fucking idea as to who they are in the first place.
I don't think the idea is full of bullshit. I'm curious, though, what the problem is. Do you want a more specific vocabulary to describe your feelings? Or are you just frustrated with people trying to make you choose one gender over the other?
I feel gender runs into most problems when we want to define it as an objective, general set of universal terms. If a limited vocabulary is your problem, adding more vocab won't solve anything; it'll just make it more complex, frustrating, and closed-in. If anything, we should eliminate the vocabulary, or at least recognize that no one is going to be the perfect masculine or the perfect feminine. They are nothing more than ideas.
Be happy with your feelings, and describe them the way you just did. If people are questioning you, either explain the situation to them or move on to more accepting people.
Quote from: Hippopo on February 16, 2012, 07:40:15 AM
I don't think the idea is full of bullshit. I'm curious, though, what the problem is. Do you want a more specific vocabulary to describe your feelings? Or are you just frustrated with people trying to make you choose one gender over the other?
I feel gender runs into most problems when we want to define it as an objective, general set of universal terms. If a limited vocabulary is your problem, adding more vocab won't solve anything; it'll just make it more complex, frustrating, and closed-in. If anything, we should eliminate the vocabulary, or at least recognize that no one is going to be the perfect masculine or the perfect feminine. They are nothing more than ideas.
Be happy with your feelings, and describe them the way you just did. If people are questioning you, either explain the situation to them or move on to more accepting people.
Yay! Someone understandssss!!!
I guess you're right...it's just, I wish there were more acceptance amongst the gender-queer world. When I go to support groups for this shit, they only cater to people who wish to transition and have a clear one way or the other idea of who they wanna be. I don't wanna transition...and who I wanna be changes as the days do. So, how am I supposed to feel support when the closest community I have any ties to are all telling me I'm full of shit and should shut up because obviously their problems are worse and mine isn't?
^ cissexual privilege
anyways why do you have a need to identify in the first place
for validation for your fluidity--which tends to be a dynamic, shifting conceptualized structure?
Quote from: Hippopo on February 16, 2012, 07:40:15 AM
Be happy with your feelings, and describe them the way you just did. If people are questioning you, either explain the situation to them or move on to more accepting people.
[/s]
SPOKE TOO LATE
Trannies are really strange (i guess, compensation and insecurity makes them overly obsessed on clinging onto gender norms)--LGBT groups are still sometimes so overly focused on 'gender' and gender expression.
They really don't go into detail with things like pansexuality or asexuals.
I don't think the LGBT group is really a group for people who are transcendening through gender norms
maybe try alternative groups--hippie-esque...
new age
Quote from: Clucky on February 16, 2012, 07:45:07 AM
^ cissexual privilege
anyways why do you have a need to identify in the first place
for validation for your fluidity--which tends to be a dynamic, shifting conceptualized structure?
SPOKE TOO LATE
You guys are the only people who understand...COME LIVE IN MY CLOSET!
READ IT AGAIN i added more
i dunno i guess i had vaguely similar 'issues'
except i would rather be exposed to polyamorous/pansexuality material because i'm started to develop a rejection for monogamy and traditional forms of intimacy (...maybe because of deep seated fears perhaps? maybe i can't cope with people in the long term? can someone become so emotionally healthy that they don't feel the need to have a lover? etc)
ironically i can also be very apathetic and have no libido because i'd rather focus on myself giggle;
dunno
DON'T KNOW MOM
Quote from: Clucky on February 16, 2012, 07:55:02 AM
except i would rather be exposed to polyamorous/pansexuality material because i'm started to develop a rejection for monogamy and traditional forms of intimacy (...maybe because of deep seated fears perhaps? maybe i can't cope with people in the long term? can someone become so emotionally healthy that they don't feel the need to have a lover? etc)
Join the crowd.
i used to read up on material and a bunch of feminist/psychoanalytic jargon until i realized it was another defense mechanism that didn't let me progress forward
now i just force myself to experience things
it's great
it shatters your preconceived illusionary judgments and strings you together with objective reasoning--sometimes people develop beliefs that are tied within your imaginations and sometimes that isn't really beneficial for yourself or anyone at all
self-sabotage, delusions, biases, etc.
i would say to go look elsewhere besides your lgbt group
but yeah--new age/folksy groups tend to accept your ideas that you have now
maybe they'll work in the long term
maybe not
but you'll have to know now or forever REST IN piss <3
DON'T BE LIKE ME
because i'm literally stuck in development because i'd rather have stale, meaningless comfort
give me a sense of security and some pillows and you've got me right in the sack
Can I just marry all of Boyah?
okay but famy and felt are off limits and echo is just too gay 5thgrade;
Quote from: Clucky on February 16, 2012, 08:12:49 AM
okay but famy and felt are off limits and echo is just too gay 5thgrade;
I can deal with being Echo's beard. :3
Quote from: Clucky on February 16, 2012, 08:07:42 AM
sometimes people develop beliefs that are tied within your imaginations and sometimes that isn't really beneficial for yourself or anyone at all
Words of wisdom after all.
Quote from: Clucky on February 16, 2012, 08:12:49 AM
okay but famy and felt are off limits and echo is just too gay 5thgrade;
hey that's even more reason to marry me.
uh um
i've always thought someone who had both a penis and a vagina would be really hot
but i don't think that has anything to do with what you're talking about
WTH? I agree with Pickle. The concept is limitless. O_0
I think that labels for sexuality are dumb because sexuality is a fluid human construct and adding a label to that just seems like another way of saying "I'm different than you". I think it's better to forego labels for those kind of things and find an identity that suits yourself.
i'm w/ notsid
Quote from: N o t S i d on February 16, 2012, 03:30:21 PM
I think that labels for sexuality are dumb because sexuality is a fluid human construct and adding a label to that just seems like another way of saying "I'm different than you". I think it's better to forego labels for those kind of things and find an identity that suits yourself.
I was going to say something like this but I didn't want to violate the rules of the thread girl; I'm just going to let you speak for me from now on.
Also in the olden days of Boyah this would be a 15 page thread, with multiple feelings hurt. I can't tell which one is better
i wanted to say something like that but i was scared of posting in this thread
And honestly, I miss the conflict of the olden days. goowan
im not sure i quite follo.......
What sid said wasn't rude. He said something that was CONSTRUCTIVE!
And I think I agree, actually.
Quote from: kougraducky on February 16, 2012, 05:09:31 PM
What sid said wasn't rude. He said something that was CONSTRUCTIVE!
And I think I agree, actually.
Everything I say is rude unless I add "lol" to the end of it goowan
Technically, "transgender" is an extremely vague term which applies to everybody whose gender identity doesn't perfectly fit in the binary of either born male and acting according to cultural male roles or born female and acting according to cultural female roles. People generally don't want to use the term until the opposite sex's gender role overwhelms that of the birth sex.
There's plenty of terms for identities between two gender binaries, like genderqueer, genderfluid, pangender, bigender, and more, though I'm not sure what the specific definition of each is.
Quote from: Clucky on February 16, 2012, 07:45:07 AM
Trannies are really strange (i guess, compensation and insecurity makes them overly obsessed on clinging onto gender norms)--LGBT groups are still sometimes so overly focused on 'gender' and gender expression.
They really don't go into detail with things like pansexuality or asexuals.
Though I prefer to identify as female and am sure I would greatly prefer a normal female body if I could have one, I wouldn't consider myself focused on clinging to the very feminine extreme of the gender spectrum. However, if I actually reach a point where I can consider passing, I might act a bit more feminine than I consider myself to truly be because of compensation and insecurity like you just mentioned.
Honestly, I even get a little annoyed from some comments by transwomen striving toward hyper-femininity 5thgrade;
Especially when there's some hint of the attitude of being more transgendered than others
i feel like i am a girl, and i am happy to be a girl but it doesn't really matter if i am one. i would just as happily be a boy. idk why that isn't a universal thought/feel
im a hot wheels car
Quote from: eeeeeee on February 18, 2012, 09:56:39 AM
i feel like i am a girl, and i am happy to be a girl but it doesn't really matter if i am one. i would just as happily be a boy. idk why that isn't a universal thought/feel
i'm pretty much the same way actually
I would never want to be a girl.
I'd love to be a girl
Quote from: eeeeeee on February 18, 2012, 09:56:39 AM
i feel like i am a girl, and i am happy to be a girl but it doesn't really matter if i am one. i would just as happily be a boy. idk why that isn't a universal thought/feel
the way you're saying it there is nothing wrong with that. but some girls and boys insist they are not what they are and this goes beyond mere wishing and into actual practice, and well, that's an entirely different thing in my opinion.
Quote from: Travis on February 18, 2012, 11:43:13 AM
why?
Why not?
Being a women is wonderful.
You get cute clothing, can do so many different things with your hair, can paint your nails, etc.
There's more to it but it's hard to explain, being a girl just seems idk magnificent.
I know in reality it's not magnificent 24/7 but I would be perfectly happy dealing with the bad.
Quote from: Echo Weiss on February 18, 2012, 07:09:46 PM
Why not?
Being a women is wonderful.
You get cute clothing, can do so many different things with your hair, can paint your nails, etc.
There's more to it but it's hard to explain, being a girl just seems idk magnificent.
I know in reality it's not magnificent 24/7 but I would be perfectly happy dealing with the bad.
yeah being a girl is magnificent until you realize that their whole lives will revolve around guys. and do you know what fucking assholes we are? even the nicest and kindest among us is not pure enough for the purest flower that is girl. we corrupt them. so yeah, a girl in a world without guys, maybe, but otherwise, give me my penis and i shall go live.
Quote from: Socks on February 18, 2012, 07:48:36 PM
yeah being a girl is magnificent until you realize that their whole lives will revolve around guys. and do you know what fucking assholes we are? even the nicest and kindest among us is not pure enough for the purest flower that is girl. we corrupt them. so yeah, a girl in a world without guys, maybe, but otherwise, give me my penis and i shall go live.
I beg to differ! I don't think any girl's life has to revolve around a guy even in the least.
Most girls aren't nearly as pure as you'd think
Quote from: Echo Weiss on February 18, 2012, 07:51:16 PM
I beg to differ! I don't think any girl's life has to revolve around a guy even in the least.
It's impossible. It is very difficult to escape the influence of 'man' in everything. And if you were to escape it, it would have to be consciously, but, if you consciously avoid something, that in itself is an effect and therefore voids the notion. I'm not trying to be masochist but almost everything in our world is shaped by our presumed roles. Even beyond sexual terms. Also, wherever you live is not the world, whatever you can imagine is not the world, it is a very very very small part of it, and the reality is that the majority of culture and practice is based on what I am saying. Hypothetically I am not interested, there are technicalities for everything but probability ensure they are almost meaningless.
Quote from: Echo Weiss on February 18, 2012, 07:51:16 PM
Most girls aren't nearly as pure as you'd think
I know. But that is because their milk was poured in mud, now, give me a clear container and some fresh milk, I will bake you a cake that you can take home and eat, because she will be fresh and delicious and pure.
Quote from: Socks on February 18, 2012, 07:48:36 PM
their whole lives will revolve around guys. and do you know what fucking assholes we are? even the nicest and kindest among us is not pure enough for the purest flower that is girl.
I assume you're directing this conversation only at close relationships with men; otherwise, what significant difference is there in the influence of men on a [straight] woman than on a [straight] man?
How do you think girls' whole lives revolve around guys? At least in modern time of the culture we live in (US, Canada, probably applies to nearly all other first-world countries too), this isn't the case very often. Even if a relationship is more important to some girls than others, it's atypical for one's life to totally revolve around her male partner.
The genders are not nearly as widely divided as you imply with this purity comment. Not only is there not a large gap in "purity" between even the purest man and any woman, there's even heavy overlap between the two genders.
Quote from: Socks on February 18, 2012, 07:58:35 PM
It's impossible. It is very difficult to escape the influence of 'man' in everything. And if you were to escape it, it would have to be consciously, but, if you consciously avoid something, that in itself is an effect and therefore voids the notion.
It's not like homosexuality doesn't exist, either. Even if one goes with the belief that homosexuality is a choice (a questionable belief in itself), it's very doubtful that all girls who "choose" to enter relationships with other women rather than men do so for that reason of consciously avoiding the influence of men.
Quote from: Socks on February 18, 2012, 07:58:35 PM
I know. But that is because their milk was poured in mud, now, give me a clear container and some fresh milk, I will bake you a cake that you can take home and eat, because she will be fresh and delicious and pure.
The "mud" in this case is probably aspects of human nature which happen to be more evident in typical males than typical females. Even if it's to a smaller extent than in males (mostly due to hormones, I suppose), this "mud" would still exist in very significant amounts in a world without men.