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General => The Lobby => Topic started by: [REDACTED] on October 25, 2008, 12:37:37 PM

Title: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: [REDACTED] on October 25, 2008, 12:37:37 PM
My grandmother saw Dreamgirls, and she said it was trash because it has mostly black people in it. And she said she loves Eddie Murphy because, in his movies, there are white people in them. Among other things, she said that Martin Luther King Jr. was an instigator.

Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Lotos on October 25, 2008, 12:41:17 PM
What about grandfathers?  At Thanksgiving a few years back, my aunts were talking about a dog named blackie and my Grandfather goes "We have some niggers that live on the end of the block.  They're friendly.".
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: ME## on October 25, 2008, 12:41:44 PM
My grandmother dislocated her shoulder last month and the drugs the doctor put her on so she didn't feel pain and couldn't move her arm made her loopy so she was yelling shit at the TV every time they mentioned the bail-out package being passed lol.  I can't remember exactly what she said, but it was more or less along the lines of they should have given that to us instead of the banks.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Hiro on October 25, 2008, 12:54:26 PM
My grandma is still a functioning member of society  baddood;
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Gladjaframpf on October 25, 2008, 01:12:21 PM
My grandmother is hilariously morbid. She says things that most people would find depressing and then laughs about them. Once I was driving somewhere with her and we saw an ambulance; she said "Oh, I know a lady on this street who's been having heart problems, maybe it's for her!" and chuckled.

Another time she told my sister and I a "funny story" about a guy who started came to her senior's centre one weekend. He seemed to really enjoy himself, so she was surprised that he didn't come back the next weekend. It turns out the reason was that he was dead. Yeah, that's a really funny story, grandma.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Beta on October 25, 2008, 01:36:47 PM
My grandma was yelling at the TV when that "Nigger" won dancing with the stars.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Cookie on October 25, 2008, 01:51:58 PM
She called Black licorice Nigger babies, I don't know what the meaning of it is, but she said nigger so it was funny.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: YPrrrr on October 25, 2008, 02:41:11 PM
My grandparents are sane
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: [REDACTED] on October 25, 2008, 02:59:50 PM
Quote from: Flying Circus on October 25, 2008, 02:41:11 PM
My grandparents are sane
Lucky.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: superclucky on October 25, 2008, 03:21:38 PM
my grandmom is a religious fanatic and she is lulz
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Feynman on October 25, 2008, 03:39:50 PM
My grandmother says loads of perverted things.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: ME## on October 25, 2008, 03:39:56 PM
Quote from: Flying Circus on October 25, 2008, 02:41:11 PM
My grandparents are sane


My great-grandfather isn't, he thinks that if Obama wins, he'll make white people slaves lol.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Pyrate on October 25, 2008, 06:14:26 PM
I never heard either of my grandmas say anything funny. :(
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Nyerp on October 25, 2008, 06:21:11 PM
"warsh"
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Samus Aran on October 25, 2008, 06:21:28 PM
Quote from: Pyrate on October 25, 2008, 06:14:26 PM
I never heard either of my grandmas say anything funny. :(


same here :(
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Beta on October 25, 2008, 06:22:48 PM
At the 50th anniversary she couldn't stop laughing.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Geno on October 26, 2008, 10:56:05 AM
My grandma started freaking out because she apparently thought that everyone on Xbox Live could hear everything that's going on in the room and she didn't feel safe.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Gladjaframpf on October 26, 2008, 11:02:16 AM
Quote from: Geno on October 26, 2008, 10:56:05 AM
My grandma started freaking out because she apparently thought that everyone on Xbox Live could hear everything that's going on in the room and she didn't feel safe.


You mean you haven't heard about the secret microphone that Microsoft installed in every Xbox 360 so they can learn everyone's secrets and then blackmail them?
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: One Man Freak Show on October 26, 2008, 08:55:20 PM
My grandma enjoys talking about her love life, which may or may not include having sex with old men in a truck.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Hensa on October 26, 2008, 09:52:30 PM
my grandma...
-Informed me that eggwhites look like cum
-flipped off a guy in subway
-has no problem using the word "fuck" more than once in a single sentence
-believes in the "try before you buy" theory when it comes to relationships
-tells people with road rage to "blow it out their ass"
-informed me that the guy in front of me in line was buying extra-large condoms while I was making an emergency purchase for some tampons at 2 o'clock in the morning.
-is Mexican
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Hensa on October 26, 2008, 09:55:02 PM
Quote from: Nyerp on October 25, 2008, 06:21:11 PM
"warsh"
omfg I lold
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on October 27, 2008, 02:01:55 PM
Quote from: Nurse ProtectedMember32 on October 26, 2008, 09:52:30 PM
my grandma...
-Informed me that eggwhites look like cum
-flipped off a guy in subway
-has no problem using the word "fuck" more than once in a single sentence
-believes in the "try before you buy" theory when it comes to relationships
-tells people with road rage to "blow it out their ass"
-informed me that the guy in front of me in line was buying extra-large condoms while I was making an emergency purchase for some tampons at 2 o'clock in the morning.
-is Mexican

every single thing on this list made me laugh
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: laskfn on October 27, 2008, 02:22:25 PM
oh gramma, shes told me way to many things

when i was seven, i clogged the toilet at our cottage and she proceeded to start yelling at me about toilet paper, so it soundled like this
"YOU ONLY NEED TWO SHEETS! ITS CHARMIN ULTRA!!!"

and then i've seen her eat dog food because she thought it was like chex mix

my cousin was wearing a hoodie vest with an 8bit skull and headphones on it and she goes
"WELL THAT LOOKS SO NICE DO YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE"

has gone into a lingerie store and lifted her shirt up and said "i need a bra like this!"

screamed at me for eating cheesits

has never referred to dinner as dinner, its always supper
and i cant remember anything else
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: noodle_976 on October 27, 2008, 04:15:59 PM
Quote from: Nurse ProtectedMember32 on October 26, 2008, 09:52:30 PM
my grandma...
-Informed me that eggwhites look like cum
-flipped off a guy in subway
-has no problem using the word "fuck" more than once in a single sentence
-believes in the "try before you buy" theory when it comes to relationships
-tells people with road rage to "blow it out their ass"
-informed me that the guy in front of me in line was buying extra-large condoms while I was making an emergency purchase for some tampons at 2 o'clock in the morning.
-is Mexican

My grandma isn't like that, my mom and my aunts are though D:
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Det in F♯ Major on October 27, 2008, 05:50:05 PM
Quote from: Nurse ProtectedMember32 on October 26, 2008, 09:52:30 PM
my grandma...

-is Mexican



I'm so sorry.  edumacate;


Quote from: Wulphe on October 27, 2008, 02:22:25 PM
oh gramma, shes told me way to many things

when i was seven, i clogged the toilet at our cottage and she proceeded to start yelling at me about toilet paper, so it soundled like this
"YOU ONLY NEED TWO SHEETS! ITS CHARMIN ULTRA!!!"

and then i've seen her eat dog food because she thought it was like chex mix

my cousin was wearing a hoodie vest with an 8bit skull and headphones on it and she goes
"WELL THAT LOOKS SO NICE DO YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE"

has gone into a lingerie store and lifted her shirt up and said "i need a bra like this!"

screamed at me for eating cheesits

has never referred to dinner as dinner, its always supper
and i cant remember anything else



BAHAHAHAHA
i remember that phone call about the toliet paper like it was yesterday. :)
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: ME## on October 27, 2008, 05:59:22 PM
Quote from: Wulphe on October 27, 2008, 02:22:25 PM
oh gramma, shes told me way to many things

when i was seven, i clogged the toilet at our cottage and she proceeded to start yelling at me about toilet paper, so it soundled like this
"YOU ONLY NEED TWO SHEETS! ITS CHARMIN ULTRA!!!"

and then i've seen her eat dog food because she thought it was like chex mix

my cousin was wearing a hoodie vest with an 8bit skull and headphones on it and she goes
"WELL THAT LOOKS SO NICE DO YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE"

has gone into a lingerie store and lifted her shirt up and said "i need a bra like this!"

screamed at me for eating cheesits

has never referred to dinner as dinner, its always supper
and i cant remember anything else


My grandmother does that all the time too lol.


Also, dishwarsher, warsheringmachine, warsh. myface;
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Daddy on October 27, 2008, 06:43:49 PM
My grandmother was an alcoholic lol.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Lotos on October 27, 2008, 08:57:49 PM
Quote from: Wulphe on October 27, 2008, 02:22:25 PM
has gone into a lingerie store and lifted her shirt up and said "i need a bra like this!"



I actually lol'd.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: One Man Freak Show on October 27, 2008, 08:58:30 PM
Also, my idiotic grandma on my idiot stepdad's side still puts a "From Santa Claus" gift tag on all of my Christmas gifts. doodthing;

Last year, she actually called me and told me that "Santa might be a little late this year." I had a video of it on YouTube somewhere, but I deleted it. I could upload it again, though.

She is a weird, weird, woman. She breathes like Darth Vader, has a bright orange afro, and wears blood red lipstick. Everything she does makes me want to punch kittens, but she makes the most delicious brownies ever.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Lotos on October 27, 2008, 09:03:54 PM
I might as well add something my great-grandma said to me.  She just died on the 9th.  She wasn't like I rememberred her when I was younger, as she had dementia and lost her memory.  Couldn't remember anyone.  She knew that she knew my mother and my grandmother, but did not know their names.  When my mom asked her who my sister was, she rememberred that she knew my sister.  My mom then asks her if she knew who I was.  "Her [my sister's] boyfriend."  She was 10, I was 15.  We're still a little disgusted at it a year later.

My grandmas don't say funny stuff that often, or that I hear :(
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: noodle_976 on October 28, 2008, 05:51:06 AM
Quote from: steal on October 27, 2008, 09:06:36 PM
oh god i laughed just imagining that
she died the same day mother's cookies went bankrupt cry;
mother's cookies went bankrupt? wat?
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Dullahan on October 28, 2008, 06:24:15 AM
My grandpa always called French people "frogs." And said that these "frogs" were ruining Canada.

My grandma's sister was supposed to go to her son's funeral, but instead, she went and stole some guns.
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: YPrrrr on October 28, 2008, 06:25:30 AM
Quote from: Salad on October 28, 2008, 06:24:15 AM
My grandpa always called French people "frogs." And said that these "frogs" were ruining Canada.

Everyone calls the French the frogs.

Or anyone that has something against the French at least
Title: Re: List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.
Post by: Lotos on October 28, 2008, 10:50:08 AM
Quote from: noodle_976 on October 28, 2008, 05:51:06 AM
mother's cookies went bankrupt? wat?


You didn't see steal's thread?