In kindergarten, I knew this girl named Courtney that looked like a skeleton. Her skin was tight, thin, and almost transparent. Her hair was long, black, stringy and balding. She was often considered the smartest girl in class, but I was still considered to the the smartest kindergartner in the school. There was also this girl that was about 250 pounds and she was utterly disgusting. Also, this one time I went to the bathroom, I somehow managed to lock myself in (we had bathrooms in the class.) I pounded and yelled at the door and my beautiful teacher opened it for me. Really, what purpose does a bathroom door serve if the lock only keeps you in but anyone on the outside can turn the knob and let you out? This is what led me to always keep my bathroom door open just a crack whenever I go to take a leak. Also, one time, my teacher, Ms. Rumball, bent down in front of me to answer a question and I had TITS IN MY FACE and they were gorgeous and had a little mole on the left upper breast. She had fair tan skin and carrot orange hair.
In first grade, I met my best friend, Chris. I also fell in love for the first time with a girl named Britney Henry. She was a huge Sonic the Hedgehog fan and I often talked about my beloved Sega Genesis with her. Her mother, I believe, owned a game a movie rental place, aptly named Henry's. I would often rent Toejam and Earl 2 and Sonic 2 from them, and had all my first grade journals revolve around imaginary adventures with TJ and E. I remember my bitch of a teacher always screaming because I would spell "and" "an" in my journals, and she would yell at Britney for putting a "tail" on her a's. When I were learning to better write, I told Britney that we should always put a "tail" (this was before Mrs. Robinson whined about it) on our a's because it makes it look fancy. I've done it ever since. Also, I remember our dinosaur section and drawing pictures of dinosaurs with dozens of heads. The drawings, while a bit crazy, were amazingly good for a first grader, and I still consider them quite nice looking. I lost most of my drawing ability after that but regained much in middle school. Also, I told a girl named Kelsey that I would go to her house and brutally slice out her guinea pig's heart because she stole my idea for a treehouse that we had to draw. She cried and went up to Mrs. Robinson and I was like "OH SHIT, SHE'S GOING TO TELL ON ME." The teacher hated me, so I would've been in for some deep shit. I yelled to her I was sorry and that I didn't want her to get me in trouble, and she simply asked if she could go to the bathroom. I believe this was also about the time Dexter's Lab began to air, and when I first saw it at my grandmother's house (we didn't have cable in our home), it inspired me greatly to be a crazy scientist and one day have some fantastic laboratory.
I'LL TYPE MORE LATER.
Also, I know I could break these up into smaller paragraphs, but I don't feel like it. If someone else like Houdini wants to, he or she can. powerofone;
The thought of Lawlz ever being a child scares me for some reason. doodthing;
Quote from: Jesus on January 28, 2008, 03:53:54 AM
The thought of Lawlz ever being a child scares me for some reason. doodthing;
Just to comfort you, I'll tell you I fantasized about having sex with Misty from Pokemon in second grade. badass
Quote from: Lawlz on January 28, 2008, 03:44:59 AM
TITS IN MY FACE
That happened to me too in kindergarten. Except my teacher was fat. myface;
You're so full of bullshit.
I think I'll go one event at a time here, one per post, in no particular order.
On my third day of kindergarten, the bus skidded on some ice, went into the ditch, and my face slammed against the window, giving me a black eye and chipping one of my teeth. When I got home later that day, my stepdad teased me, saying I probably got beat up by a girl since I was such a wimp.
Christ, I was only 5 and he already started degrading me.
ok
When I was 3 I got an snes, I don't remember much from then.
When I was 4 my brother was born. I also had a hamster who bit me so I threw it at the wall and it died. :(
and now:
Quote from: copypaste from my other thread...September 1994. I was four years old, turning 5 in 2 weeks. My mother woke up me. "You're going some place special today" She led me to the table where I began eating a wonderful breakfast of Eggs, Bacon, Toast, Ham and Orange Juice. I thought I had done something really good; I had gotten my favorite breakfast AND I was going some one special. Shortly after my aunt Pauline came in a car to pick me up. I was so excited, I couldn't wait to get to this special place. We departed from my house and about 5 minutes later we pulled up to a big brick building. Oh boy, I was excited. I walked into the building. There were other children sitting in a circle playing with toys. YES! Other children. I then notice something on the wall...It was a chalk board. The fucking bitch tricked me. I WAS AT SCHOOL. IT WAS THE FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN. My mother tricked me into going to school.
Over time in this new school I made new friends. Steve. Doug, he was a good friend. He had a sister who was 2 grades above us. Her name was Lindsay, I later learned that they lived 2 floors above me. We started hanging out. I finally had kids my own age to play with. Halloween came. It was our parade day. We walked around in our costumes. I was the Red Power Ranger. It was fun. As the fall passed and the winter came and passed too. It was now spring. We made easter baskets and got Candy. I couldn't believe it. It was awesome. A few months after the school year had ended. I played with my new friends all summer. Soon it was September I could now begin first grade.
First grade was different. I was the only one in my Kindergarten class who was able to read. When I entered the first grade I and girl were the only other students able to read. She was a cute girl. She appeared to dislike me though. The other kids would make fun of me. "Haha James likes girls, he's gonna get cooties" It was mean. My teacher seemed to dislike me too. I would have to stay inside for gym and for recess. Why wasn't I allowed to play with my friends? What did I do wrong?
Second grade came soon after. I was hanging out with Doug in his house. His sister was there. She was in 4th grade. She suggested we play a game. Hide and seek. She had us hide. She found me first. She brought me to her room. It was the base. She shut the door. She told me that we were playing a game. She kissed me and told me that it would be a fun game called House. I remember house, it was a game I played in kindergarten. She told me that this was different. She slid her hand down my pants. She told me to do the same to her. She was 2 years older than me. Smarter, I listened to her. We fondled each other for a while. We heard footsteps outside her door--it was Doug, he wanted to know why no one was looking for him. We stopped right there, but we'd play house at other times. Second grade also brought the stick fights. There was a kid named Russel, he'd fight with sticks with me. We didn't get along.
Second grade ended and third grade began. I walked into my class, I only knew a few kids. I saw Russel. I sat down next to him. We talked and quickly became best friends--He remains my best friend to this day...
I used to be so loud and approachable. Also I remember this girl Delany Kelly. She had the cutest freckles and big blue eyes. I think she had a crush on me. :3
Then in second grade I did exceptionally well in math and they decided to skip me to third grade. I became pretty popular until sixth grade. This is when I became shy and careless.
Oh god how I've changed. For the worse. :(
What happened to that britney woman baddood;
Quote from: Kaz on January 28, 2008, 10:24:27 AM
he already started degrading me.
this makes me want to punch something. REALLY HARD baddood;
ok...my dad was into car body painting, so i watched him do that for a few years.
i also watched him smoke joints and hit my mom...so my mom kicked him out.
but they got back together.
somehow.
Quote from: Ronald Rollins on January 28, 2008, 11:52:22 AM
I used to be so loud and approachable. Also I remember this girl Delany Kelly. She had the cutest freckles and big blue eyes. I think she had a crush on me. :3
That reminds me of my first crush. In first grade, I became infatuated with a girl named Robin. I don't remember her last name. She was extremely cute, but I don't think she was well-liked by other girls, since she was a bit of a tomboy. She was by herself a lot, and I'd play tetherball with her a lot during recess. She was also a total rebel towards the teachers. She got more "pink slips" than anyone else I can remember in the class.
I seem to remember an occasion where we kissed, but it didn't exactly result in anything, considering that we were in first grade.
Note that this was during the second time that I lived in California. The school was Pioneer Elementary, which is still there in Antelope (suburb area of Sacramento).
I went to school. Played soccer.
I used to be talkative and fun(ny) before 7th grade. For some reason, after 7th, I turned into a shy nerdy guy. :'(
Quote from: Kaz on January 28, 2008, 12:00:40 PM
That reminds me of my first crush. In first grade, I became infatuated with a girl named Robin. I don't remember her last name. She was extremely cute, but I don't think she was well-liked by other girls, since she was a bit of a tomboy. She was by herself a lot, and I'd play tetherball with her a lot during recess. She was also a total rebel towards the teachers. She got more "pink slips" than anyone else I can remember in the class.
I seem to remember an occasion where we kissed, but it didn't exactly result in anything, considering that we were in first grade.
Note that this was during the second time that I lived in California. The school was Pioneer Elementary, which is still there in Antelope (suburb area of Sacramento).
I remember my first crush. I was in kindergarten at the time, and there was a girl named either Shanon or Sharon, I can't remember exactly what it was. Anyway, she obviously had a crush on my, too, because she'd always call me over to sit at her table and sit next to her on the bus to and from school. Also, every guy liked her, but I was the only one she liked back. We admitted that we wanted to kiss each other once, but it never happened.
Oh well. wub;
BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT
I don't remember anything at all from during that time in my life. befuddlement
AS I PROGRESSED INTO SECOND GRADE, I became a god. Everyone wanted to be my friend and everyone did. Still, I lived in a trailer and tended to avoid being too social because of it... but friends that lived near me (often a grade or two above) would come over and we'd talk on the front porch or play some Super Nintendo or something. I formed a little basketball team with my best friend Chris called the devils and we kicked some serious ass.
Then, one day... there was Pokemon. My friend, Jacob, was the first to get it. He went insane and hailed it as the greatest game ever. I remember seeing commercials with all those beasts getting sucked up into a vacuum and everything and my mind was BLOWN. I said everyday for almost a month that I'd get it after school, and I'd make up excuses like "oh I had to take care of my pet (I couldn't have a pet in that small home)," but the truth was, my family couldn't afford to buy it. After my parents one day dropped me off at my grandmother's house, she and my uncle took me to Toys R Us and I got Pokemon red. By god, it was and still is amazing. I HAD NEVER SEEN SUCH A WONDROUS, LIVING WORLD IN A GAME. I played it everyday until I moved to Colorado, when I bought Yellow on the trip. I even played it a little after. I was shocked by how good a game could be and how amazing it was to have a virtual pet.
Also in second grade, there was this adorable young loli named Danielle that had perfectly soft and white skin and glorious orange hair. I instantly fell in love with her, and every boy in the class tried as hard as he could to appeal to her. I was often regarded as the funniest kid around, so I'd just go up to her and be nice and tell a joke or two, and I guess she fell in love with me. One day, Danielle brought in little invitations to her birthday party. The invitation she gave me had a little lock in the shape of a heart on the cover, and a key on the inside. caterpie;
Well, I went to her birthday party and I suppose it was alright. Her father had us beat peanuts out of a sack and exchange them for candy. When I handed him my peanuts, he just gave me a fistful of candy. I tried to give him my peanuts again, he just said, "Keep the damn peanuts." "I don't want my peanuts." "Keep the damn things."
After that, I decided to follow Danielle into her house and she led me upstairs into her room. She began taking her clothes off, and I was just utterly shocked that she didn't have a penis. Up until this point, I seriously believed women just had penii, except they were twice as large as a man's. I just saw two silky smooth... bumps, and it was somehow beautiful (that's not referring to the breasts). She then told me to stand outside her door (after she had completely stripped) and put on her clothes. She then walked me back outside and I saw that she had a computer. Before this, I truly did no know anyone actually owned computers. The rest of the day was uninteresting.
Later in the year, Danielle sat up on top of a log in the playground (we had a set of about 5 logs getting progressively taller aligned side by side and sticking straight up), and talked to me. I assume she just didn't like underwear, because I once again saw her beautiful vagina/vulva/whatever you want to call it. Also, later that year, I'd go watch some wrasslin' with my father at my friend Brandon's house and would see his younger sister's vagina when she laid down directly in front of me.
Then, one day, I guess Danielle got sick. I was stacking up some blocks with another friend on a rainy recess day, when Danielle walked over and just... threw up. I only saw her once again that year. I wasn't sure what happened, but I was too young to be concerned.
The year would pass, then I'd progress into an uneventful third grade and move about 1/3 of the way through the year to Colorado after my father would rejoin the military in hopes of a better life. I suppose I wasn't as cool or anything out there, but it wasn't too bad. I'd return to Newport, Pennsylvania in fifth grade when my father would go to South Korea for a year. I saw Danielle when I returned, and while I was overjoyed, I was also depressed. She looked like she was... dying. She was only about half my weight, and paler than ever before. Her hair was no longer thick and gorgeous, and she didn't seem able to talk at all. I'd see her about four more times in class that year, and never again. My former best friend, Chris, wouldn't even associate with me anymore. He'd moved on to just sports, whereas I focused more on being a nice guy that could crack a joke at anything and tried to make my entire life revolve around science. I'm quite certain I was the only atheist fifth grader. Others would get pissed when I'd say, "Why are they showing something like Veggie Tales for our school news? It's a Christian show." Yet my popularity still rose form what it was in Colorado, and I adored science more than ever now that I actually was able to attend a classroom, or lab, rather, devoted to just science... and not just a 15 minute class we'd have once every two weeks. Also, on my first day bay to PA, I met a dude named Carl that cried because he lost his gold fishing pencil. But third grade and up will be covered at a later time in more detail.
Also, you dickweeds better be reading this.
Quote from: Lawlz on January 28, 2008, 01:37:57 PM
Also, you dickweeds better be reading this.
No one believes your bullshit nor does anyone care enough.
Quote from: Bassir C. on January 28, 2008, 01:39:19 PM
No one believes your bullshit nor does anyone care enough.
Don't be sad that some boyagers have/had more of a life than you. :|
Quote from: Lawlz on January 28, 2008, 01:37:57 PM
Also, you dickweeds better be reading this.
I read the first post you made, I only read the part about Pokemon in your second because pokemon is badass
Starting when I was two or three, my mom brought me to an old lady's house until she and dad got off of work. She was Mrs. Scott. About two in the afternoon, my grandma picked me up and brought me to her house. I don't know why I didn't just stay at my grandma's... One afternoon, we were sitting in that one chair. The light shined in from the window onto her arms, illuminating her arm hair. To me, it looked like she had feathers.
At four, I went to preschool. I cried when my mom left me there on the first day. I made friends in Jacob Green and Evan Foust.
Kindergarten and first grade were uneventful. Although... terrible things were happening at that time.
Second grade was awesome. Evan was in my class. Also, this new kid called Jacob. We quickly became best friends. Later on in the year, we realized that we had both gone to the same preschool. I had reunited with my old friend. We remained friends until sixth grade, when we went to different middle schools.
And then I was eight.
I had an NES, SNES, N64, and four Game Boys
Quote from: Lawlz on January 28, 2008, 03:44:59 AM
Ms. Rumball, bent down in front of me to answer a question and I had TITS IN MY FACE
THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TOO?
Quote from: reefer on January 28, 2008, 02:39:00 PM
THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TOO?
It's happened to me a bunch of times. My Science teacher did it earlier this year. RUB IT
Quote from: Bushybrow on January 28, 2008, 01:52:44 PM
I had an NES, SNES, N64, and four Game Boys
Spoiled brat! jk.
This girl liked me and I was invited to her party. She showed me her Pokemans.
When I was little I wasn't preppy and for some reason everyone that was popular was preppy, even some of the teachers would play along and talk about the preppy kids.
There was a blonde girl that I'd like to meet again but am too lazy to look her up on myspace assuming she has one. She invited me to her birthday party at Black Beards, a small pirate themed "fun land" place. I was the only boy going. I felt so special that day.
Then she told on me and I got in trouble and I never hung out with her again. I later found out it was because she liked me and thats what people do when they're in 2nd grade but whatever.
Quote from: Lawlz on January 28, 2008, 01:36:00 PM
Up until this point, I seriously believed women just had penii, except they were twice as large as a man's.
fucking lold
I love reading about lil lawlz ronald rollins. baddood;
more plx
Quote from: CONKER on January 28, 2008, 03:07:27 PM
i'm reading Lawlz. wub;
Quote from: Ronald Rollins on January 28, 2008, 02:51:45 PM
fucking lold
I love reading about lil lawlz ronald rollins. baddood;
more plx
I love both of you.
Also, I've read the story of everyone that's posted in this thread so far. :|
Quote from: Lawlz on January 28, 2008, 03:44:59 AM
Also, I know I could break these up into smaller paragraphs, but I don't feel like it. If someone else like Houdini wants to, he or she can. powerofone;
I'm not going anywhere near those abominable barriers of text.
But anyway, I had sex with my teacher on the first day of school when I was in first grade.
Quote from: Houdini on January 28, 2008, 08:06:02 PM
But anyway, I had sex with my teacher on the first day of school when I was in first grade.
You are one badass motherfucker. baddood;
Oh Lawlz, I read your posts too, I just didn't feel the need to let you know that I did since it was obvious since I posted in it, and I always read a thread before posting.
Quote from: Jesus on January 28, 2008, 08:13:24 PM
You are one badass motherfucker. baddood;
I know, right? I also killed the principle with my own bare hands.
Quote from: JMV290 on January 28, 2008, 08:18:30 PM
Oh Lawlz, I read your posts too, I just didn't feel the need to let you know that I did since it was obvious since I posted in it, and I always read a thread before posting.
but damnit i want stories of awesome people like JOHNNYRINGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO2
Quote from: Lawlz on January 28, 2008, 08:21:51 PM
JOHNNYRINGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO2
At least you remembered the numbers.
Quote from: Lawlz on January 28, 2008, 08:21:51 PM
but damnit i want stories of awesome people like JOHNNYRINGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO2
He's even more boring than I am.
I've read everyone's story too. Lawlz's are pretty interesting. powerofone;
Quote from: Houdini on January 28, 2008, 08:19:50 PM
I know, right? I also killed the principle with my own bare hands.
Whose principles did you kill? doodthing;
All I can remember:
Soccer, Recess, Earthbound, and lots of random little kids. :(
And Lawlz: I read your memoirs as well.
In kindergarten all the girls loved me. They would write notes to me and have other kids pass them across the room to me. And they would randomly hug and kiss me.
I don't know what happened with my relationship with girls since then olol
Also, kindergarten was great. I went to a private religious school, so there were only about 15 kids in my grade there. Every once in a while the teachers would bring out all those Fisher Price and playskool or whatever cars that were red and had a yellow top, you know. And we would have so much fun ramming into each other in the parking lot.