REMINISCE ABOUT YOUR EARLY CHILDHOOD (3-7)

[bluaki]

I don't remember anything at all from during that time in my life.

[ncba93ivyase]

AS I PROGRESSED INTO SECOND GRADE, I became a god. Everyone wanted to be my friend and everyone did. Still, I lived in a trailer and tended to avoid being too social because of it... but friends that lived near me (often a grade or two above) would come over and we'd talk on the front porch or play some Super Nintendo or something. I formed a little basketball team with my best friend Chris called the devils and we kicked some serious ass.

Then, one day... there was Pokemon. My friend, Jacob, was the first to get it. He went insane and hailed it as the greatest game ever. I remember seeing commercials with all those beasts getting sucked up into a vacuum and everything and my mind was BLOWN. I said everyday for almost a month that I'd get it after school, and I'd make up excuses like "oh I had to take care of my pet (I couldn't have a pet in that small home)," but the truth was, my family couldn't afford to buy it. After my parents one day dropped me off at my grandmother's house, she and my uncle took me to Toys R Us and I got Pokemon red. By god, it was and still is amazing. I HAD NEVER SEEN SUCH A WONDROUS, LIVING WORLD IN A GAME. I  played it everyday until I moved to Colorado, when I bought Yellow on the trip. I even played it a little after. I was shocked by how good a game could be and how amazing it was to have a virtual pet.

Also in second grade, there was this adorable young loli named Danielle that had perfectly soft and white skin and glorious orange hair. I instantly fell in love with her, and every boy in the class tried as hard as he could to appeal to her. I was often regarded as the funniest kid around, so I'd just go up to her and be nice and tell a joke or two, and I guess she fell in love with me. One day, Danielle brought in little invitations to her birthday party. The invitation she gave me had a little lock in the shape of a heart on the cover, and a key on the inside. caterpie;

Well, I went to her birthday party and I suppose it was alright. Her father had us beat peanuts out of a sack and exchange them for candy. When I handed him my peanuts, he just gave me a fistful of candy. I tried to give him my peanuts again, he just said, "Keep the damn peanuts." "I don't want my peanuts." "Keep the damn things."

After that, I decided to follow Danielle into her house and she led me upstairs into her room. She began taking her clothes off, and I was just utterly shocked that she didn't have a penis. Up until this point, I seriously believed women just had penii, except they were twice as large as a man's. I just saw two silky smooth... bumps, and it was somehow beautiful (that's not referring to the breasts). She then told me to stand outside her door (after she had completely stripped) and put on her clothes. She then walked me back outside and I saw that she had a computer. Before this, I truly did no know anyone actually owned computers. The rest of the day was uninteresting.

Later in the year, Danielle sat up on top of a log in the playground (we had a set of about 5 logs getting progressively taller aligned side by side and sticking straight up), and talked to me. I assume she just didn't like underwear, because I once again saw her beautiful vagina/vulva/whatever you want to call it. Also, later that year, I'd go watch some wrasslin' with my father at my friend Brandon's house and would see his younger sister's vagina when she laid down directly in front of me.

Then, one day, I guess Danielle got sick. I was stacking up some blocks with another friend on a rainy recess day, when Danielle walked over and just... threw up. I  only saw her once again that year. I wasn't sure what happened, but I was too young to be concerned.

The year would pass, then I'd progress into an uneventful third grade and move about 1/3 of the way through the year to Colorado after my father would rejoin the military in hopes of a better life. I suppose I wasn't as cool or anything out there, but it wasn't too bad. I'd return to Newport, Pennsylvania in fifth grade when my father would go to South Korea for a year. I saw Danielle when I returned, and while I was overjoyed, I was also depressed. She looked like she was... dying. She was only about half my weight, and paler than ever before. Her hair was no longer thick and gorgeous, and she didn't seem able to talk at all. I'd see her about four more times in class that year, and never again. My former best friend, Chris, wouldn't even associate with me anymore. He'd moved on to just sports, whereas I focused more on being a nice guy that could crack a joke at anything and tried to make my entire life revolve around science. I'm quite certain I was the only atheist fifth grader. Others would get pissed when I'd say, "Why are they showing something like Veggie Tales for our school news? It's a Christian show." Yet my popularity still rose form what it was in Colorado, and I adored science more than ever now that I actually was able to attend a classroom, or lab, rather, devoted to just science... and not just a 15 minute class we'd have once every two weeks. Also, on my first day bay to PA, I met a dude named Carl that cried because he lost his gold fishing pencil. But third grade and up will be covered at a later time in more detail.

[ncba93ivyase]

Also, you dickweeds better be reading this.

[Feynman]

Also, you dickweeds better be reading this.

No one believes your bullshit nor does anyone care enough.

[ncba93ivyase]

No one believes your bullshit nor does anyone care enough.

Don't be sad that some boyagers have/had more of a life than you.

[greg400]

Also, you dickweeds better be reading this.

I read the first post you made, I only read the part about Pokemon in your second because pokemon is

[Claquesous]

Starting when I was two or three, my mom brought me to an old lady's house until she and dad got off of work. She was Mrs. Scott. About two in the afternoon, my grandma picked me up and brought me to her house. I don't know why I didn't just stay at my grandma's... One afternoon, we were sitting in that one chair. The light shined in from the window onto her arms, illuminating her arm hair. To me, it looked like she had feathers.

At four, I went to preschool. I cried when my mom left me there on the first day. I made friends in Jacob Green and Evan Foust.

Kindergarten and first grade were uneventful. Although... terrible things were happening at that time.

Second grade was awesome. Evan was in my class. Also, this new kid called Jacob. We quickly became best friends. Later on in the year, we realized that we had both gone to the same preschool. I had reunited with my old friend. We remained friends until sixth grade, when we went to different middle schools.

And then I was eight.

[Bushy]

I had an NES, SNES, N64, and four Game Boys

[The artist formally known]

Ms. Rumball, bent down in front of me to answer a question and  I had TITS IN MY FACE

THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TOO?

[Kalahari Inkantation]

THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TOO?

It's happened to me a bunch of times. My Science teacher did it earlier this year.

[Squirtlejazz]

I had an NES, SNES, N64, and four Game Boys

Spoiled brat! jk.
This girl liked me and I was invited to her party. She showed me her Pokemans.

[The artist formally known]

When I was little I wasn't preppy and for some reason everyone that was popular was preppy, even some of the teachers would play along and talk about the preppy kids.

There was a blonde girl that I'd like to meet again but am too lazy to look her up on myspace assuming she has one. She invited me to her birthday party at Black Beards, a small pirate themed "fun land" place. I was the only boy going. I felt so special that day.

Then she told on me and I got in trouble and I never hung out with her again. I later found out it was because she liked me and thats what people do when they're in 2nd grade but whatever.

[FullmetalGanon]

Up until this point, I seriously believed women just had penii, except they were twice as large as a man's.

fucking lold
I love reading about lil lawlz ronald rollins.
more plx

[ncba93ivyase]

i'm reading Lawlz. 

fucking lold
I love reading about lil lawlz ronald rollins.
more plx

I love both of you.

Also, I've read the story of everyone that's posted in this thread so far.

[Houdini]

Also, I know I could break these up into smaller paragraphs, but I don't feel like it. If someone else like Houdini wants to, he or she can. 

I'm not going anywhere near those abominable barriers of text.