http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/purity/advice.asp
Holy shit, that's absolutely retarded. It's even on a government website. It's really funny, but also fucking sick and stupid at the same time. Just.. read. psyduck;
(http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/purity/images/teens.jpg)
lol caterpie;
This is a joke right?
# DESIRE FOR PRIVACY: Does your child lock his or her bedroom door? It is not healthy for a teen to desire privacy. Chances are he or she is in there masturbating.
# "ROCK" MUSIC: Does your child listen to "Rock And Roll" music? If a teenager has rebelled against God far enough to listen to the Devil's music, then he or she has almost certainly rebelled enough to try masturbation.
Man, I want to kill myself after reading that.
"EVIDENCE: Have you caught your child masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down stroking his erect penis, he's probably masturbating."
Anybody who would legitimately need to be told this is a moron befuddlement
That was hilarious.
I LOL'D so foucking hard.
Q: Aren't crime and poverty bigger problems today than masturbation? What is President Bush doing about crime and poverty?
A: As far as crime goes, it's pretty obvious that masturbation and football (you know, guys bending over in tight pants) are the leading causes of rape and other sexual crimes. After masturbation and football are made illegal, the crime rate will no doubt plummet.
oh god lol
Quote# Throw away your television. There is absolutely nothing of value on television. Everyone should be reading their Bibles or working, not watching filth like Baywatch or Star Trek.
Fuck no!!!
Whitehouse.gov is the real website.
Quote from: JMV290 on December 15, 2007, 01:10:02 PM
Whitehouse.gov is the real website.
Haha, after you said that I checked the homepage of this website.. After reading the headline you're right. This is a joke site... Hilarious though.
Quote from: Birth Man on December 15, 2007, 01:12:34 PM
Haha, after you said that I checked the homepage of this website.. After reading the headline you're right. This is a joke site... Hilarious though.
After the image at the top of the page, can you really think it's legit?
(http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/purity/images/head.gif)
Yeah, whitehouse.org is a joke website.
I lol'd.
QuoteInsist that your children wear boxing gloves to bed. Boxing gloves are nearly impossible to remove without assistance. If you do this you can sleep soundly, knowing that your children aren't on the other side of the wall touching their smelly little giblets in an impure fashion.
Quote from: Dahlia on December 15, 2007, 01:20:03 PM
I lol'd.
QuoteInsist that your children wear boxing gloves to bed. Boxing gloves are nearly impossible to remove without assistance. If you do this you can sleep soundly, knowing that your children aren't on the other side of the wall touching their smelly little giblets in an impure fashion.
What a unique timing for the "lol" emote... magician;
Quote from: bluaki on December 15, 2007, 01:21:14 PM
What a unique timing for the "lol" emote... magician;
More like embarrassing. edumacate;
HAHAHAAHA.
Smelly little giblets. Jesus, where do they get these things?
5. BOY JUICES
And it is possible to masturbate without your hands. So boxing gloves wouldnt be an effective way. magician;
Quote from: Dahlia on December 15, 2007, 01:26:12 PM
And it is possible to masturbate without your hands. So boxing gloves wouldnt be an effective way. magician;
Even with Boxing gloves, it's pretty damn easy.
Quote from: Dahlia on December 15, 2007, 01:26:12 PM
And it is possible to masturbate without your hands. So boxing gloves wouldnt be an effective way. magician;
You were just saying that something you said earlier was embarrassing. Are you TRYING to embarrass yourself now with that? befuddlement
Quote from: bluaki on December 15, 2007, 01:29:21 PM
You were just saying that something you said earlier was embarrassing. Are you TRYING to embarrass yourself now with that? befuddlement
Um, no. I dont see how stating the obvious is embarrassing.
Quote from: Dahlia on December 15, 2007, 01:26:12 PM
And it is possible to masturbate without your hands. So boxing gloves wouldnt be an effective way. magician;
Hot tub is the way to go. yes;
I SPONTANEOUSLY EJACULATED
This had to be some kind of joke. Masturbation is healthy.
Quote from: bluaki on December 15, 2007, 01:07:32 PM
"EVIDENCE: Have you caught your child masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down stroking his erect penis, he's probably masturbating."
Anybody who would legitimately need to be told this is a moron befuddlement
lol, could be an itch befuddlement
Clearly its not very serious.
But I'm dissappointed that they forgot to include "girl juices" for girlies. :(
Quote from: samsam on December 15, 2007, 02:58:31 PM
Clearly its not very serious.
But I'm dissappointed that they forgot to include "girl juices" for girlies. :(
Um...I though that less than half of us ever have "girl juices"
The page is mainly for boys anyways.
Quote from: bluaki on December 15, 2007, 03:08:21 PM
Um...I though that less than half of us ever have "girl juices"
The page is mainly for boys anyways.
Um...bullshit. Natural lubrication of the VAGINA occurs in most women during complete arousal.
If you're thinking of female ejaculation, then yes, almost none of you will ever manage that.
Quote from: Kaz on December 15, 2007, 03:12:43 PM
Um...bullshit. Natural lubrication of the VAGINA occurs in most women during complete arousal.
If you're thinking of female ejaculation, then yes, almost none of you will ever manage that.
Yeah, I was just referring to wet panties, but I guess that doesn't technically mean masturbation.
Quote from: Kaz on December 15, 2007, 03:12:43 PM
If you're thinking of female ejaculation, then yes, almost none of you will ever manage that.
That's what I meant.
joke site, obviously. thought it's already stated caterpie;
3. BOY JUICES: Are there semen stains on your son's bed sheets or underwear? There's only one way they could have been deposited there. So line up all of your sons at least twice a day for a family prayer meeting and underwear check!
...If I was a guy, I would be scarred by that. What parent in their right mind would do that? navi;
Also, it's still funny even though it's fake.
Quote from: bluaki on December 15, 2007, 03:17:52 PM
That's what I meant.
Be more specific next time then. argh;
That can't be real. psyduck;