slight competitive urge

[6M69I69B9]

anybody also have this issue where you just HAVE to try your best at any game you play

hearthstone ive got legend in standard and wild
elite smash, all chars i like are all in elite
tetris 99, got a handful of invictus wins
dbd, got rank 1 with survivor
fire emblem heroes, I got t21 in arena
i've participated in top 30-10 global groups in tetris mobile

then recently,
master duel, got platinum 1

yeah, basically the highest ranks in the games & formats i like

idk ive had ppl underestimate me in the past, and been dismissed of any sort of depth a bit. so i guess this is me trying to prove something to myself that I actually am capable when it really comes down to it. i fuck around with too many ppl LMAO

and ofc playing the games are fun too, but that tidbit above ill admit has been one underlying theme

proving myself to ppl
for some sort of validation
it was initially toward my former "poker" night friends

hell not just with gaymen, ig this sort of mindset has followed me through other things in life like...my current job, hobbies (especially art), just general smarts. idk what I'm doing feeling like I have to compensate for something or for how I may seem, and I definitely shouldn't give a shit. yet, idk, here I am.

my insecurity is bottom tier for sure LMAO

[Mando Pandango]

I definitely have the urge, but I also balance it out with realistic time expectations in terms of what it would take to devote myself to something. If it's too much time then I decide it's not worth it and try to enjoy myself casually.

But if I dig into something I'm goin ballz deep

[C.Mongler]

naw i have the opposite problem where i refuse to seriously devote myself to any one vidya anymore lol

besides maybe dota 2, but that's just a habitual game; i am not devoted to getting any better at it and in fact am definitely getting worse

[Mando Pandango]

i can see why investing in a game like dota 2 would put you off from putting your time into video games

[C.Mongler]

i can see why investing in a game like dota 2 would put you off from putting your time into video games

yeah u sometimes spend over an hour with a guy calling you the n word only to get a fat L in return

[strongbad]

This is 100% me. I've found that I tend to plateau at around the same spot when I go all in on a game which ends up being slightly above average lol

I used to genuinely want to be a professional melee player but that diminished when I started playing with actual top melee players and realized how it was really not possible for me

I think it started as wanting to prove myself and validate all the time I was spending playing games. I remember being the "best" ssb64 player at my highschool and it felt amazing. As I've grown older I've tried to reframe it as purpose. Why else am I playing the same game over and over again? I think I still have this delusion that I could actually become a top player at any given game and every night I spend in ranked queues is going towards that.

I think when you are invested in the outcomes of these games (higher rank = higher self worth) you are actually playing for something, which I really like. However the flip side of this is losing can be incredibly toxic. Overwatch is a good example of this. I think it's an amazing game and I love playing it but losing is objectively not fun and when 50% of my time playing a game is not fun it is hard to stick with it.

I've been fortunate to have a couple friends with similar tendencies and it helps with the toxicity that can come with these things. It is also really fun to level up with other people. This was a huge draw of the competitive melee scene back in the day.

Kind of rambling at this point but I think about these things a lot since I spend so much time playing competitive games. 

[silvertone]

I cant really be bothered to practice playing games cos i only play games to have fun.

[strongbad]

My problem is that I don't have fun unless I am being competitive either against myself or others

[Mando Pandango]

My problem is that I don't have fun unless I am being competitive either against myself or others

yeah same

[silvertone]

i dont rly think of games unless im playing them. so i can be competitive in the moment but 99% once the game is off i stop thinking about strats n crap. i prefer co-op games usually

[Mando Pandango]

anybody also have this issue where you just HAVE to try your best at any game you play

hearthstone ive got legend in standard and wild
elite smash, all chars i like are all in elite
tetris 99, got a handful of invictus wins
dbd, got rank 1 with survivor
fire emblem heroes, I got t21 in arena
i've participated in top 30-10 global groups in tetris mobile

then recently,
master duel, got platinum 1

yeah, basically the highest ranks in the games & formats i like

idk ive had ppl underestimate me in the past, and been dismissed of any sort of depth a bit. so i guess this is me trying to prove something to myself that I actually am capable when it really comes down to it. i fuck around with too many ppl LMAO

and ofc playing the games are fun too, but that tidbit above ill admit has been one underlying theme

proving myself to ppl
for some sort of validation
it was initially toward my former "poker" night friends

hell not just with gaymen, ig this sort of mindset has followed me through other things in life like...my current job, hobbies (especially art), just general smarts. idk what I'm doing feeling like I have to compensate for something or for how I may seem, and I definitely shouldn't give a shit. yet, idk, here I am.

my insecurity is bottom tier for sure LMAO

are you still playing smash every day

[strongbad]

yes

[6M69I69B9]

This is 100% me. I've found that I tend to plateau at around the same spot when I go all in on a game which ends up being slightly above average lol

I used to genuinely want to be a professional melee player but that diminished when I started playing with actual top melee players and realized how it was really not possible for me

I think it started as wanting to prove myself and validate all the time I was spending playing games. I remember being the "best" ssb64 player at my highschool and it felt amazing. As I've grown older I've tried to reframe it as purpose. Why else am I playing the same game over and over again? I think I still have this delusion that I could actually become a top player at any given game and every night I spend in ranked queues is going towards that.

I think when you are invested in the outcomes of these games (higher rank = higher self worth) you are actually playing for something, which I really like. However the flip side of this is losing can be incredibly toxic. Overwatch is a good example of this. I think it's an amazing game and I love playing it but losing is objectively not fun and when 50% of my time playing a game is not fun it is hard to stick with it.

I've been fortunate to have a couple friends with similar tendencies and it helps with the toxicity that can come with these things. It is also really fun to level up with other people. This was a huge draw of the competitive melee scene back in the day.

Kind of rambling at this point but I think about these things a lot since I spend so much time playing competitive games.  

yeah, actually on twatter, i think it's funny that people will express that they feel nothing when they win, but feel like absolute shit when they lose, which im sort of feeling but it's not that extreme. it has to be a challenging win for me to feel kinda valid with a win.

i unironically think i may have what it takes, esp if i put in the time. but playing against top players, at least online, kinda kill that for me. and shitty mu's. kinda wish i had a sparing partner though, i never really talk much about these things with others

anybody also have this issue where you just HAVE to try your best at any game you play

hearthstone ive got legend in standard and wild
elite smash, all chars i like are all in elite
tetris 99, got a handful of invictus wins
dbd, got rank 1 with survivor
fire emblem heroes, I got t21 in arena
i've participated in top 30-10 global groups in tetris mobile

then recently,
master duel, got platinum 1

yeah, basically the highest ranks in the games & formats i like

idk ive had ppl underestimate me in the past, and been dismissed of any sort of depth a bit. so i guess this is me trying to prove something to myself that I actually am capable when it really comes down to it. i fuck around with too many ppl LMAO

and ofc playing the games are fun too, but that tidbit above ill admit has been one underlying theme

proving myself to ppl
for some sort of validation
it was initially toward my former "poker" night friends

hell not just with gaymen, ig this sort of mindset has followed me through other things in life like...my current job, hobbies (especially art), just general smarts. idk what I'm doing feeling like I have to compensate for something or for how I may seem, and I definitely shouldn't give a shit. yet, idk, here I am.

my insecurity is bottom tier for sure LMAO

are you still playing smash every day

actually been off and on, been having weird hand issues so i play only when im confident that most of the weird sensations have lessened

tbh p rusty but i can still kick some ass lol
hmu on here if you wanna box

[Mando Pandango]

Once I get my own place it'll be much, much easier to game on my own schedule and I may hit you up then.

As far as hand issues go, I have suggestions:

1. Get a wrist brace for the hand that's in pain (or both). Wear it when you sleep and whenever else your hand can be mostly idle.

2. Wrist/hand stretches. They feel like they don't do much when you're doing them but over time they help a great deal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiRC80FJbHU


PROTECT YOUR WRISTS. Think about how much you use your hands in life in addition to your hobbies. You gotta take care of your wrists.

[strongbad]

i unironically think i may have what it takes, esp if i put in the time. but playing against top players, at least online, kinda kill that for me. and shitty mu's. kinda wish i had a sparing partner though, i never really talk much about these things with others

i'd play melee with you if you were interested

also i relearned to play on a frame1 to combat hand issues and it helps a LOT lol but it did take a long time to feel like i was back at my gcc skill level