The Boyah Masterpiece Theatre: Boyah Apocalypse! Now With Illustrations!

[Andrew1911]

Hello and welcome to the newest addition the Boyah Masterpiece Theatre. I am your lovely host, Andrew1911. Welcome to my boudier. Avoid the white marks. I like to make it a game with them and say don't step on the lava and whatnot. Ho, ho! Good show, old sport! Now, in today's Boyah Masterpiece Theatre, we will be reading a novel from esteemed novelist, Thomas Jewington Jew, a well known stage name for a Mr. Mariofreak. The reason for his famous screen name was listed in an interview with Mariofreak where he stated he had done it "for the lulz".

Now, this novel we will be reading is brilliantly titled "BOYAH APOCALYPSE!". The exclamation point puts emphasis on the apocalypse part, making sure you skim over the less important Boyah part. Now, this novel has won a Pulitizer and a Peabody so this will be the ride of your life. The story is about a town of Boyah, seperated from civilization in the countryside is put into chaos when a nuclear bomb rains upon the US, creating a nuclear war. Miracously, the citizens of Boyah survive the nuclear fallout and are forced to survive in... THE APOCALYPSE.

They attempt to create a society and rise from the ashes! Well, if I told you anymore, I would ruin the story for you, old sport. Now, let us begin with this epic reading of the epic story... Be prepared for...

BOYAH APOCALYPSE!

[ncba93ivyase]

okie

[Pancake Paraphernalia]

didn't read it all.

[ClassicTyler]

I better have a good part.

No dying, or being a sissy. I want a REAL part.

[Wrench]

I better have a good part.

No dying, or being a sissy. I want a REAL part.

I was never mentioned it one before.  edumacate;

[Himu]

I hope being raped wont be my only part.

[Andrew1911]

Chapter One: The Town of Boyah

Farmer Wrenchninja had begun to choke his massive chicken when his wife, Princess, walked in. She cried, "Oh, my!" Wrenchninja screamed, "Honey, don't watch!" Wrenchninja continued to choke his chicken until he finished squeezing the last bit out. Princess said, "Why do you have to do it in the bathroom?" Wrenchninja screamed, "Well, I can't do it in the barn or the chickens will know!" Wrenchninja took the chicken and placed it in the kitchen to prepare for dinner. He said, "Get cookin', woman. I'm going to go watch the game." Princess abided his command and began to prepare to cook the delicious meal.

In another part of town, town mayor Reaper spoke on about the rampant problem of those dang kids with their dang boomboxes making their dang boom boom music. Reaper spoke eloquontly, "Dang teenagers with their boom boom music! We have senior citizens who need to rest and take naps periodically! Also, they must be changed at certain times! Do they realize the implications of their actions? No! That is why we must take all forms of electronics and destroy them!" The senior citizens attempted to give a standing ovation but were too weak to stand up. They attempted to whistle but they had no saliva. They attempted to clap but lacked the strength to perform that impossible feat. They just moaned in agreement. Reaper went off the stage when his assistant, Classictyler, approached.

Reaper said, "Tyler, hand lotion. Now. I had to shake one of their hands. I'm fairly certain that one had some form of AIDS." Tyler attempted a joke, "Well, sir, looks like the pool is closed!" Reaper stared and said with a stone face, "HAND LOTION. NOW." Tyler gave him his hand lotion. Reaper rubbed his hands together quickly. He said, "Make sure Brenda has my disinfectant bath ready. God only knows what kind of drugs those people are on..." Tyler said, "Yes, sir. I'll make sure." Reaper said quickly, "Also... Find out what the hell is going on with that thing in North Korea. Something about war and bombs shitting on citizens or something."

In another part of town, town idiot Mariofreak began to publically masturbate while watching someone drink some water. People avoided walking in his general direction as Mariofreak began to pump and pump his shaft. He moaned so loudly that even old curmedgeon Andrew1911 heard him. Andrew1911 shouted, "Boy, don't you go no decency?" Mariofreak said, "olol if u dontz shutz up i gunna rapez u gooz oolol" Andrew1911 picked up his stick and yelled, "I got my cane, bitch! Bring it!" Mariofreak finished his job and said, "u winz this timez old manz " Andrew1911 screamed, "That's right, whore! This my block!"

[ncba93ivyase]

i dint reed it 2 long




I'M LOVING IT SO FAR.

[Wrench]

Sounds amazing already. Seems like something I would actually do too if I lived on a farm.

[Pancake Paraphernalia]

Sounds amazing already. Seems like something I would actually do too if I lived on a farm.

lol must be good, i'll read it.

[Andrew1911]

moar added

[Himu]

Sounds amazing already. Seems like something I would actually do too if I lived on a farm.

lul I'm your wife.  I love your story Andrew.

[ncba93ivyase]

HOLY SHIT, YOU MADE A SLOPE IN THE THIRD PARAGRAPH.

[Wrench]

Sounds amazing already. Seems like something I would actually do too if I lived on a farm.

lul I'm your wife.  I love your story Andrew.

Me Andrew? Or him Andrew? We are married, you know? 
I love the story so far. Reaper looks to be good friends with older people. I was expecting Tyler to do something kinky with the lotion.

[Andrew1911]

Ah, that first chapter introduces so many elements and thematic drama. Brilliant writing, if I say. I always cry in the first paragraph. It shows the emptiness of Wrenchninja's marriage and develops when the story... Develops. Oh, I am already excited for the next chapter! Oh, boy!