I keep farting in the library

[Mando Pandango]

I'm trying to be covert but they keep making sound

[YPrrrr]

Has anyone shushed you yet

[Mando Pandango]

Nah

[Mando Pandango]

I got out of there unscathed

[ME##]

That's when you just cough loudly a bunch

[Mando Pandango]

That's when you just cough loudly a bunch

Jesus Christ look at this amateur. If you cough, you draw attention to yourself. If suddenly people are looking at you AND manage to hear your farts, game over. The only right move is to act like you're not farting at all. Maybe a second or two after give the most subtle look around your immediate area, but that's it.

Do you even fart in public? Frankly I'm embarrassed for you.

[YPrrrr]

Damn we've got a professional crop duster over here

[ClassicTyler]

Pfffffffffffft.


He's nothing compared to me.

[Mando Pandango]

Pfffffffffffft.


He's nothing compared to me.

I believe this

[strongbad]

spread ur cheeks a part you noob

[strongbad]

this reminds me- when i was touring my friend ben, i asked to borrow some toilet paper from him and said i just needed a few squares. he was perplexed because he said he usually uses a couple dozen squares. apparently he doesnt spread his cheeks when he shits so he would get shit all over his cheeks, while i just had to dab it off of my butthole basically. the next time he took a shit he took my advice and was impressed with how little toilet paper he needed

it's been a couple months since then and i occasionally wonder if ben is spreading his cheeks or not when he shits now

[ClassicTyler]

spread ur cheeks a part you noob

Great advice.

this reminds me- when i was touring my friend ben, i asked to borrow some toilet paper from him and said i just needed a few squares. he was perplexed because he said he usually uses a couple dozen squares. apparently he doesnt spread his cheeks when he shits so he would get shit all over his cheeks, while i just had to dab it off of my butthole basically. the next time he took a shit he took my advice and was impressed with how little toilet paper he needed

it's been a couple months since then and i occasionally wonder if ben is spreading his cheeks or not when he shits now

ALSO GREAT ADVICE HOLY SHIT

[strongbad]

spread ur cheeks a part you noob

Great advice.

this reminds me- when i was touring my friend ben, i asked to borrow some toilet paper from him and said i just needed a few squares. he was perplexed because he said he usually uses a couple dozen squares. apparently he doesnt spread his cheeks when he shits so he would get shit all over his cheeks, while i just had to dab it off of my butthole basically. the next time he took a shit he took my advice and was impressed with how little toilet paper he needed

it's been a couple months since then and i occasionally wonder if ben is spreading his cheeks or not when he shits now

ALSO GREAT ADVICE HOLY SHIT

yeah the situation made me genuinely curious how many people are just getting shit all over their ass and wasting time and toilet paper as a result
since you don't learn about techniques like this during potty training (although you should) and you kind of have to figure it out yourself

[ClassicTyler]

On a related note I ordered a bidet for that very reason so I won't need the advice for home poops.

Work poops, however, this is a game changer.

[strongbad]

On a related note I ordered a bidet for that very reason so I won't need the advice for home poops.

Work poops, however, this is a game changer.

what bidet did you order? i dont know why i don't have one lol