Rank the Alphabet

[AAAAAAAA]

Best to worst:

X
A
Q
Z
O
M
J
E
I
K
C
L
T
B
N
P
S
R
D
G
H
F
U
V
Y
W

[AAAAAAAA]

alright who the fuck voted for S as best letter

[Mando Pandango]

okay so here's the thing. S is clearly the best letter. it is the most powerful letter:

1. it somehow surpassed A in alphabetical grade markings
2. if you put an S on the end of most words it goes from just one thing to a potentially infinite amount of the same thing. like holy fuck, all that from one letter

S
A
U
X
O
I
D
Y
N
M
Z
V
C
H
T
R
K
G
L
W
P
J
B
F
E
Q

A few other points worth making here:

Vowels in general are very powerful. That said, E is the fucking rattata of letters. We all know this.
If E is the rattata of letters, Q is the magikarp. Effectively useless on its own and when people see it unaccompanied in the wild they're like "what the fuck is this doing here."

[Mando Pandango]

alright who the fuck voted for S as best letter

i'm sorry that your opinions on letters are bad

[AAAAAAAA]

alright who the fuck voted for S as best letter

i'm sorry that your opinions on letters are bad

nah its cool you have some good points

[TooB]

The only two letters that matter are F and U.

X is cool too.

[Mando Pandango]

I must ask who voted for Q though. This is a Bad thing you've done.

[Daddy]

M is the best

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

if you didnt have q you'd have to combine k and w for some words and that is an ugly combination of letters

[Mando Pandango]

if you didnt have q you'd have to combine k and w for some words and that is an ugly combination of letters

You could literally replace Q with K or C with no other changes and it'd be fine. Q sucks.

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

kuick wow that looks like a real nice and attractive word

[Mando Pandango]

quck

[Mando Pandango]

qummies

[AAAAAAAA]

C is useless outside of ch as well.

[Kalahari Inkantation]

C is useless outside of ch as well.

by this criteria, x is also useless

it could very well be replaced by eks in 99% of cases

and xylophone is pronounced zylophone anyway