Free Money

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

Woman came into the store today to look at washers and dryers. Pregnant and grumpily middle aged, I could picture her tapping cigarette ash into an empty sprite can. She seemed pre-occupied.

After about twenty minutes, she decided to leave and promptly fell on her ass on the curb outside. You could pull up the security footage of the store floor and watch the manager’s faces all synchronically shift to the doors, all thinking the same thing.

Woman is wailing and screaming in the only substantial patch of slush I can see. Everything else is shoveled and salted.

She storms inside swinging a ten dollar Kohls purse, demanding to talk to a manager to fill out an incident report and promising that her attorney that she has on retainer would be hearing about this as soon as tomorrow morning.

Justice doesn’t take a weekend off.

We talk a lot about our culture being over litigious and we crack a lot of jokes at how easy it is to toss a lawsuit or three in any direction, but when you really get down to it, it comes down to this almost universal attitude of un-accountability.

I remember back when I was really young, my mother took my kid brother and I to get hair cuts at this tiny place that we’d been going to for years. After we’d finished, my brother fell on the concrete path right outside the shop and almost smashed his head on a granite planter. He’d had some issues as a kid which left his legs working at less than full capacity, so he was prone to just falling, or collapsing, randomly. I remember, this salon owner just bolting through the door, shooting a hundred questions at my mother, making sure he was ok, and I couldn’t really understand why. This woman was on the verge of tears, and it wasn’t until years later that I realized why.

Everything is always someone else’s fault. It wasn’t the pregnant woman’s fault she slipped in the only patch of slush around. It wasn’t her fault that she was wearing platform shoes after four inches of snowfall.

She will probably receive a ten thousand dollar settlement for a bruised ass.

[silvertone]

they should bring back dueling

[strongbad]

such an awful mentality that we've picked up
i hate it

[Infel]

It's something I'd like to take advantage of, but I'm usually the one getting messed over. It's not that I want to, it's just that it somehow seems necessary to survive.