how are you like socially online?

[??????]

years ago i used to be more sociable
now i hardly ever initiate a close friendship online

with my patterns of communication, i tend to communicate with bursts of text
about maybe 5 minutes of quick-paced conversation
then i'd usually say "brb lol"
and don't talk to them until some other day

do other people do this?
i feel really mean and rude whenever i do this :'(
i just don't know what to say anymore
or care

[ncba93ivyase]

i used to be very awkward with talking to anybody online

but in the past month or two i've been trying to talk to as many people as possible and actually communicated through voice/video with people online for the first time ever

much luv 2 u silvertone & tyler

also initiating a conversation you don't feel comfortable with through text is awkward. until i've had 20+ conversations with a person, i don't know how to talk to them and i usually won't initiate a conversation. that's why i pretty much never talk to boyagers until they talk to me first. zidone was i think the first person to randomly message me and now i've been talking to him for i think 6 years and now he probably knows more about me than anybody ever

also while i post like a complete goddamn asshole i'm really not like it in personal conversations. i'm sure nobody believes me but after our video conversation last week i'm sure tyler would agree that i seem decent

i just don't know how to talk to people so i resort to being a shithead because some part of my mind tells me that it's better to be recognized for being an asshole than to be completely ignored lol

[??????]

i can initiate conversions very easily and wonderfully
but i just can't keep any of them
it's not boredom, or, not the end-all culprit
i guess i get intimidated the closer i get to a stranger
i feel like the closer i get in contact with someone the more i'd have to know about their interests and favorites to extend communication between us
i don't feel comfortable speaking on my personal interests because they're so unusual (hardly anyone enjoys speaking about their insecurities, obscure fine-art painters, outdated psychology or ambient music)

so i become flamboyantly ironic and sardonic because it has elements of humor to it and can attract people, and i can also vent suppressed anger as a form of catharsis 

but it doesn't make me feel....alive :'(

[ncba93ivyase]

i don't feel comfortable speaking on my personal interests because they're so unusual (hardly anyone enjoys speaking about their insecurities, obscure fine-art painters, outdated psychology or ambient music)

how about instead of only having interests in existing material you develop hobbies in which you create something

because then you become a person who does interesting things instead of simply liking things you think are interesting

[PLEASEHELP1991]

i make fun of people both irl and online in my IMs especially clucky

[??????]

all of my hobbies are very solitary in nature
art gallery hopping, reading poetry, watching artwork, practicing painting
i have a friend that i art gallery hop with
but we never speak to one another when we actually do
we communicate with subtleties and knowing that we're both enjoying ourselves
i don't know, we're both very unusual people
he's incredible intellect and artist, and only 2 years older than me
i feel a bit worthless around him because i gave up on college and i'm idling in the pursuit of art

i thought people that were very interested in fine arts or philosophy would have this type of demeanor?
i had that thought until i met some guy at NYU and had a hook-up with him
i knew that he hated me and gave me subtle accusations of being a dilettante, elitist shit
because i couldn't really contribute to whatever the fuck he was talking about
(because i didn't give a fuck, i don't care much for cynicism, i don't care for pipe-dreams)
i also can't think without an emotion guiding me
it's why i do so well in flirtatious moments or in intimacy
there's heavier emotion and thus i can spin out more elegant sentences pulsed with energy
but the downside is that people think i'm actually interested


also once I guy i was dating said I communicate with placing extreme emphasis on myself
yeah, but shouldn't that invite the other onto speaking about themselves too?
i mean, the shit i say has a general theme, and because it's general you should at least have some experience in your life to speak about similar things while simultaneously allowing the other person see what you value/believe/etc

[silvertone]

all my friends are ppl online.

[Snowy]

Idk just like this I guess.

If u don't want to respond to something or someone I usually pretend that I never got the message.

[ncba93ivyase]

also once I guy i was dating said I communicate with placing extreme emphasis on myself
yeah, but shouldn't that invite the other onto speaking about themselves too?

idk some people might see you as a shit who only cares about himself

if people i'm talking to tell me nothing about themselves then i just start talking about myself and i hope that they'll find some way to interject or talk about their interests or hobbies

it never happens

so i don't know if people think i'm a dick or if they're all just boring

it's probably a combination but really people are fucking boring

[Classic]

I'm a lot nicer online than in real life. 

[Patrick Stickles]

cfalcon used to be my best friend ever but we have kind of drifted and now we mostly only snapchat

[Mando Pandango]

Real talk in hindsight cfalcon was kind of a shithead

[Snowy]

Real talk in hindsight cfalcon was kind of a shithead

we're all shitheads

[??????]

cfalcon used to be my best friend ever but we have kind of drifted and now we mostly only snapchat

saem
aren't you that girl
who is that in your pic
SOLIDSNK FROM NSIDER??

[Patrick Stickles]

Real talk in hindsight cfalcon was kind of a shithead

he's super racist but we got to know each other on a more personal level and i think he's a good guy deep down, but uh yeah i think he legitimately hates black people

saem
aren't you that girl
who is that in your pic
SOLIDSNK FROM NSIDER??

what i'm a dude
that dude in my pic is me
yes that is me