You Know

[Socks]

Friends. I am sitting here and it is a little late and I am a little high and I have had some stuff to drink, but through all of this, do you know what bothers me? I can't help but realize how simple the sublime is. I mean, why does sober reality only make sense intoxicated? It must be like trying to explain the world from inside a fishbowl. How can I, the little fish, truly know what air is like, how space functions or what it entails? It seems an appreciation can be had only when one moves into the same dimension as a resident plane. But even then, we can be no more better equipped to handle that reality than the little fish on land. It's frustrating to an endless degree, to feel something tangible, and have no tangible way of touching it. I can think my thoughts, I can develop them, I can even understand them, but the second I try to move beyond, my sober act is over and my straight senses fail me. It is not a question of method, or even belief, but a question of seeing things for what they are, rather than what they seem. We don't see best with lenses, we see best with dreams. It's the idea which supports any realization, and our reality is poorly structured to promote the idea. So we have this relationship of water and dry land, of confusion and mystery, of dumb luck and hard work. When really, it's just a simple matter of snorkeling, in the right pond.

So, I will listen to my music, and the night will pass. Yet somehow I can't help but grasp at straws, even in a mattress not made of grass!

[??????]

intoxication for me makes me numb
i like trying carrying over altered perceptions from intoxication onto sober functioning and mesh them together into something fun and exciting

i am also starting to stop analytical urge to intellectualize and to comprehend and get over my urges of interpretation
i couldn't do it before because i was too much afraid of meaninglessness
ever since i understood beauty and anger a bit i am using it to transcend the need for meaning