WHO WANTS TO BE MY DATE TO A BALL!?

[kougraducky]

So, in May, I am going to be in Maryland for my sister's graduation from the Naval Academy. They have this fancy shmancy ball which I need a date to, or I will fall over from sheer loneliness.
So, whomever wishes to take me must PROVE HIMSELF ON THE FIELD OF INTERNET BATTLE!
Write me a paragraph describing why you'd be the best person to take me, and then debate each other!!

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

(Watch this thread fail epically.)

[Thyme]

(Watch this thread fail epically.)

(Watch Nyerp complain about this.)

[kougraducky]

(Watch Nyerp complain about this.)

Nyerp can complain all he wants. It won't win him my hand to this ball. Itll win him a virtual slap in the *insert body part here*

[Andria]

I am a super cute girl who loves fancy events and you can dress me up and we can dance until my legs give way and I die of having no legs. Then you can inherit my beautiful clothing and it would make it even better. Also, I am Echo. ECHO 2012

(Watch Nyerp complain about this.)

Nyerp complaining? pfft like that will happen

[Nyerp]

get out

[kougraducky]

get out

I am out...I've been out of the closet for...like, 4ish years now?

[Hensa]

You want people to fight over you on the internet.
And you want them to write paragraphs about how much they think they should have you...

[kougraducky]

You want people to fight over you on the internet.
And you want them to write paragraphs about how much they think they should have you...

1) There are no people irl that I'd want to take to this.
2) Boyah is full of young, attractive males some of whom live near Maryland.
3) Almost EVERY thread I make is DRIPPING with sarcasm, usually.
Get with the program

[Thyme]

You want people to fight over you on the internet.
And you want them to write paragraphs about how much they think they should have you...

yeah, you know, the usual

[LCK]

lets have a cat fight

[Hensa]

Get with the program

Says the girl who joined a month ago expecting everyone to trip over their dicks for her.

[ncba93ivyase]

I'll write Hiro's for him:

Hi! I'm Hiro! I've got a 9 inch cock and I'd love to use it, but nobody wants me! I listen to indie pop and love watching booties drop, and my dream's to fuck in my dad's pickup truck! My cum tastes great, so don't you wait! Don't hesitate to caress my balls at your ball by the sea! Golly gee, why does nobody love me?

[Andria]

I'll write Hiro's for him:

That is perfect for hiro.

[Commander Fuckass]

no thnx

[kougraducky]

Says the girl who joined a month ago expecting everyone to trip over their dicks for her.

Hensa, it's just a joke, kay?

That is perfect for hiro.

HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT, PANCAKE??? It was amazing...I must go tell Hiro that you have nominated him with the best paragraph ever.