boyah i don't know what's wrong with me

[Samus Aran]

Okay. So, originally I went to school because I wanted a degree, and to learn more about literature and especially writing. I ended up getting a BFA in Creative/Professional Writing. Shortly before finishing said degree, however, I decided that I might want to teach English.

Honestly, I'm not so sure anymore. I am so immensely lazy that it is becoming clear that I probably don't have the work ethic to teach at all. The fact that I've been skipping tons of class probably proves this pretty well. It's gotten so bad that, honestly, I'm considering taking "incompletes" for two classes. I'm that far behind. But more importantly, if I can't even go to these classes and do the work for them...how could I teach? They're entry-level education courses. If I can't even push myself to learn about the basics of teaching, how can I ever be a teacher?

I don't even know how to push myself. I'm so worried because I don't know if I'm just being lazy or if I really did make a serious mistake and choose to try to go into a field that I'm not suited for at all.

The worst part is that this may have been a giant waste of money, because to get me back into school after graduating, I had to take out an extra loan because I don't have grants anymore, now that I'm a graduate...and that loan is in my mother's name, not mine. It would be the biggest disappointment for her ever. Ugh.

I could theoretically work my goddamn ass off to catch up completely in all my classes. But honestly it may be too late. One of my professors seemed pretty unsure of how well I can even participate in class at this point, and that was BEFORE I ended up skipping that class...three more times.

At first it was mostly accidental skipping. Then I missed more. And more. Assignments went by. Going to class started seeming more and more pointless. I felt out of place when I did go because I was always behind.

Fuck me. I don't know shit anymore. I don't even know if I'm depressed or not.

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

Is it too late to formally withdraw from your classes?

[Samus Aran]

Is it too late to formally withdraw from your classes?

yeah at this point i'm pretty sure it is

even if it wasn't, though, it's WELL beyond the point i could withdraw and get my money back lol

[FAMY2]

If you can't catch up or even think you want to try take an incomplete. I think we all go through periods of laziness and indifference.
Umm I think you have what it takes to teach. You can be extremely insightful and helpful when you decide too. BELIEVE ME I KNOW. I think that's a part of you that you are reluctant to show or use that side of yourself. SO MANY PEOPLE KNOW THIS. Step back and take a good look at yourself because helping people can be so satisfying.
And if these feelings go on for more than 3 months it might help to talk to a doctor or counselor about depression.

[Nyerp]

did streaming cause this

[Commander Fuckass]

did streaming cause this

probably

[Tomboh]

well you're stupid

[YPrrrr]

You do sound depressed honestly... Although I guess you could just be lazy, but I'd say it's probably more related to your questioning of your ability to do anything. Just start going to class and trying to catch up on assignments, professors often reward effort

[Samus Aran]

well you're stupid

really tomboh? come on.

You do sound depressed honestly... Although I guess you could just be lazy, but I'd say it's probably more related to your questioning of your ability to do anything. Just start going to class and trying to catch up on assignments, professors often reward effort

i probably am depressed, lol. i just don't really want to admit it to myself. but strangely, i feel really good right now. i went to class and felt like i got something out of it. i talked with the professor afterward about this and that and the other thing and i feel like i have a better handle on the situation now...at least with that class.

[Hiro]

i probably am depressed, lol. i just don't really want to admit it to myself. but strangely, i feel really good right now. i went to class and felt like i got something out of it. i talked with the professor afterward about this and that and the other thing and i feel like i have a better handle on the situation now...at least with that class.

just try doing that with all your other classes then 
Honestly, just try your best to get back into the habit of doing all your work. It makes you feel better and once you starting you a little more, it's not as overwhelming to do just a little more than that. Don't wait any longer to do this or you'll be too later to fix those classes.

[Cookie]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTS2n3A7Gzc[/youtube]

[Nyerp]

...what

[Hiro]

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

[just1more]

You could always join the military.

[silvertone]

You could always join the military.

kaz-streams in Afghanistan ...only streams fpses : (((