BADASS SHIT YOUR PARENT'S DID

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

posting aggression thread made me remember this story about my dad that my mom told me.

So, back when my parents first got married, my mom had a stalker named Goo, and he was pretty pissed cause she married my dad.

My parents are at this bar that my dad wanted to go to. He's playing pool with some guys and my mom is sitting on the wall. All of a sudden there is a loud crash and a few people run outside. Someone threw a brick through the driver's side window my mom's pinto. My dad is all pissed off and my mom tries to talk to him. "WHO THE FUCK DID THIS TO MY CAR?!?! I'M GONNA FUCK SOMEONE UP." My mom tries to say to my dad "Donnie, I think it was Goo, he had been st-"

"NAH IT WAS RANDY* SUCH N SUCH THAT MOTHERFUCKER HAS HATED ME SINCE GRADESCHOOL"

My dad is super wound up now, and gets my mom to drive him to randy's house. They get their and my mom starts to tell my dad to be calm but he's already in front of the car scream "COME OUT YOU FAGGOT YOU HATED ME SINCE GRADESCHOOL AND BULLIED ME AND I AIN'T TAKING THIS SHIT NO MORE SO I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU UP FOR SMASHIN MY WINDOW." Randy and his two friends come out, they had been drinking as well, but they're pretty calm and they try to explain their side of what is going on. "NAH FUCK YA'LL" screams my dad. Dad starts walking up the yard to the three guys and gets in a fight with them. Randy's two friends end up grabbing my dad's arms and are holding him back, Dad's still cussing out Randy. Randy is all pissed now, so he's talking shit.

"DONNIE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING BOUT WITH THIS DAMN WINDOW BUSINESS. BUT I  TELL YA WHAT IF I HAD THE CHANCE I THROW A BRICK THREW THAT BITCH'S (my mom) WINDOW, I'D DO IT ALL DAY LON-"

it was then that my dad
[spoiler]FUCKING LIFTS HIMSELF UP WHILE THE TWO GUYS ARE HOLDING HIM, DRAWS HIS KNEES FULLY TO HIS CHEST AND MULE KICKS RANDY RIGHT IN THE MOUTH[/spoiler]

Blood is gushing out of randy's mouth, my mom likened it to someone dumping a full pitcher of red kool-aid onto his face and chest. Randy is on the ground, twitching. The guys let go of my dad and go to help Randy. They start telling my dad to get the hell out of there before they call the police. My dad and my mom leave, but not after my dad calls Randy a bitch ass motherfucker or whatever a few more times.

Then my mom and dad drive silently home.

[spoiler]Turns out it was actually Goo that threw the brick through the window, he got so scared of what happened to Randy that he stops stalking my mom[/spoiler]

So yeah, not necessarily violent things that your parents did, but more things your parent's did.

[Samus Aran]

got divorced

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

got divorced

holy shit spoilers dude i just shit my pants

[YPrrrr]

My dad's had a few cases in front of the supreme court
He also won a medal for disabling a grenade or something along those lines when he was in Iraq... he doesn't talk about it much
My mom was in the CIA

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

My dad's had a few cases in front of the supreme court
He also won a medal for disabling a grenade or something along those lines when he was in Iraq... he doesn't talk about it much
My mom was in the CIA

That's cool.

If I was in the military, I probably wouldn't talk in depth about how I got my medals.

Speaking of medals, my marine friend was telling me that there is a medal for band members that they can get if they kill an enemy soldier with their instrument.

also is your mom reading this right now.

[ME##]

my parents had the shortest marriage in my family

[YPrrrr]

That's cool.

If I was in the military, I probably wouldn't talk in depth about how I got my medals.

Speaking of medals, my marine friend was telling me that there is a medal for band members that they can get if they kill an enemy soldier with their instrument.

also is your mom reading this right now.

That's sort of a ridiculous medal, but if I was in a band I'd probably go out of my way to get it

My mom only really focused on South and Latin America, so I think as long as we avoid speaking Spanish we're good

[Mando Pandango]

My dad played guitar in a southern rock band.

My mom pushed two humans out of her uterus.

[Nyerp]

i think they did this thing once

[applesauce]

When my dad was in college he scaled the arches of the Lake Street bridge in the middle of the night, naked, got to the other side, and dove into the river. It was the old one, which looked like this:

[spoiler][/spoiler]

One time when I was little my mom was out of town or something and a boiler at an apartment building broke in them middle of the night and it was like January so he had to wake me u[p and go fix it right then and he was doing something with a sawzall and gashed himself really fucking bad in the arm and was bleeding all over the place so much fucking blood but he made a tourniquet with his shirt and finished fixing it (like 3 hours) before going to the hospital to get a shitton of stitches.

[Commander Fuckass]

idk

my dad is a warden of a correctional facility in my area
i guess that could be pretty bad ass idk

[[hedy]Zidone]

my dad was in viet nam

he got a purple heart

does that count

[silvertone]

my dad's dad was really cool. he fought rabid dogs and crocodiles + he was beekeeper. and then died right before i was born so he wouldn't have to see my sorry face.

[Hiro]

uhhhhhh my dad's been living on his own since he was 13

[Nyerp]

uhhhhhh my dad's been living on his own since he was 13

why