I am needed for tech support, what do I do

[strongbad]

This girl I am rather fond of asked me to help her with a virus on her sister's computer while we're hanging out tomorrow, since she thinks I am good with computers.
Here is what she said "like random websites come up. it says like this website may harm your comp and wont let her go on any websites and it says this file has been infected and it comes up every 15 seconds."

Here is what I am planning on doing: Download the AVG installer on a flashdrive, install it on her sister's computer, run scans, destroy virus, get laid.

Will this plan work?

[Selkie]

Pussy first, fix computers later.

[ME##]

lol no


but use microsoft security essentials

[strongbad]

lol no


but use microsoft security essentials

I actually use that on my laptop omg
So I do this:
Download Microsoft Security Essentials installer on a flashdrive, install it on her sister's computer, run scans, destroy virus, get laid.

[Volvagia]

i'm too tired to push shift, so fuck making my i's capitalised in this post or the start of my sentences capitalized, it's 3am.  >_<'

plan 1: it's spyware, just use ad-aware to get rid of it, or for the time being if it's consistent and blocks the installation of programs and the accession to task manager, turn off the pc, go into safe mode, go to run, type in "msconfig" find the stupid weird program and uncheck it for loading on start up - apply, shut down, boot into windows normally, install ad-aware or something similar, remove spyware, get laid.

plan 2: back up her shit, format the drive, install windows clean, load her shit back onto it, give her laptop back, get laid.

plan 3: wreck laptop, claim the virus made the pc explode, she fucks you anyway for trying.

all 3 are win. especially 3 for lols.

[Daddy]

I deal with this shit on a daily basis.


The best thing to do is just say "oh god how did this get here i am not good with computer"


If that doesn't work then

Follow Volvagia's plans 1 and 2.

Use HiJackThis! to get a list of all the shit running. Disabled whatever necessary using msconfig
Use Malwarebytes to scan and clean.


Chances are those won't work and manually removing the virus is a pain in the ass. It creates an executable in the user's appdata folder and a few other locations.  It is must more time efficient and practical to just reinstall windows.


It sounds like Antivir Solution Pro or something like that so make sure you check her internet options and proxy shit is disabled.

[Selkie]

Um, isn't spyware easily eliminated by system restore?

Just use system restore, if that doesn't work, at least you can restore the supply of semen in her vagina

[FAMY2]

System restore won't work on some. It will still be there.  Do what JMV and Volvagia suggest. Malwarebytes has worked for me many times. I think once I even had to turn off system restore.

[snorkel]

Copy Kaspersky/utils jmv mentioned to a flash drive, boot the PC in safe mode  (no networking), run kaspersky.

I'd say there's a decent chance it will get everything, otherwise shit will just find its way back on the next reboot, in which case JMV's words apply.

[Nyerp]

make sure you use a firewall when scanning her system so you don't get her malware

[Daddy]

Um, isn't spyware easily eliminated by system restore?

Just use system restore, if that doesn't work, at least you can restore the supply of semen in her vagina

Usually it corrupts system restore and it won't run.

[strongbad]

OKAY
So I'm at this girl's house right now, and I did the safe mode thing and installed ad-aware and found and destroyed the virus. Yay. All that shit stopped popping up and I thought I had fixed it.

BUT
internet pages still won't open, I've tried them on internet explorer (her default lol) and chrome (i installed via flashdrive) and nothing is working so idk what is up.

So yeah webpages won't open and i think i removed the virus. What the fuck do I do now

[Daddy]

make sure you check her internet options and proxy shit is disabled.

IE and Chrome on Windows use the same Internet options for some retarded reason.

[Volvagia]

try firefox, if that fails check the proxy settings in "network and sharing" in control panel, some viruses fuck it up, just change it to automatically detect ip address. I had a virus that did this a long time ago, but I eventually just re-installed windows because the fucker came back eventually.

[strongbad]

IE and Chrome on Windows use the same Internet options for some retarded reason.

omg it worked, thanks man, you're a bro <3