It was you, you did.

[Socks]

Though my passing may awaken
A lamenting soul not forsaken,
In darkness, when faith looks bleak
Hope's rays shine from peak to peak,
Illuminating spirits that dare to seek
That noble dream of weak and meek,
So in remembrance, don't be somber,
Spread my message far and yonder,
Let each ember roam and wonder
Into a heart with passion's thunder,
For in such essence I will live on
Never confined by flesh or bone,

Yet these words I write and mutter
As my heart torments with flutter
Still I ponder, who shall such utter?
For my being but a cynic doubter,
Faced with strife in hopeless life
One wonders of holy pipers fife,
Should such thoughts run so rife?
Embracing bosom with fatal knife,
Perhaps it's meant, a tragic end
To a tragedy unknowingly pend,
Why must we this burden suffer?
As wild horses, this earth we trotter.

Let me have it Kaz...

[Samus Aran]

Well, that was certainly a strong effort, Socks. A mostly steady rhythm with no particular meter restrictions but a catchy rhyme scheme. I find it odd that your scheme sort of changes itself abruptly to three-line rhymes or slant rhymes in a few spots, but it's not a particularly big deal.

I think the poem would have a stronger impact if you didn't make the entire first stanza one "sentence," so to speak. I'm tempted to say you might want to change the comma after "meek" to a period.

Also, if you're reading it the same way I do, surely you notice that you usually have a very steady rhythm, but other times it trips over extra syllables and such. If you think that's a problem, work at it. If not, then whatever.

But uh, if you want my overall honest opinion, I'd say it's quite decent. If I myself had done it, I would have reworked it a little to maintain the same rhythm (and possibly meter, but maybe not). But regardless, it's a good effort. I enjoyed it. The last line in particular is very strong, and has a nice, mystical "stretching out" feeling to it.

[Socks]

That was very helpful, it is still a draft that I don't have to hand in for a few more weeks. I'll make sure to get your opinion on the final draft. Thanks again.

[Samus Aran]

That was very helpful, it is still a draft that I don't have to hand in for a few more weeks. I'll make sure to get your opinion on the final draft. Thanks again.

Yeah, no problem. I like helping out with these sorts of things and reading any poetry is always something I'm up for.

[Selkie]

I love writing poetry. For a while it has been a sort of secret personal thing, but lately I have been showing people. I realized it's important to show it, because you can get helpful criticism and it is just nice to share your work.

Though all my poetry always seems to end up being about the same thing...