Eat It Or Wear It

[Andrew1911]

Eat It or Wear It
V. 1.2

You are naked in a dark alley.

You find a turtle in front of you.

What do you do?

[Classic]

If I'm lucky...both.

[Sam]

..what?

[Andrew1911]

If I'm lucky...both.

ERROR

[Ezloﺕ]

how big is the turtle

[Sam]

Ride it.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

[Andrew1911]

..what?

NOT AN OPTION

TYPE HELP FOR HELP

[Ezloﺕ]

HELP

[Andrew1911]

HELP

NOT A VALID COMMAND

[hotlikesauce.]

you;re in an alleyway


and theres shit

what do you do?

[Ezloﺕ]

NOT A VALID COMMAND

what

you;re in an alleyway


and theres shit

what do you do?

You're in this thread.

And there's this unfunny user who tells a corny joke

What do you do?

[hotlikesauce.]

what
You're in this thread.

And there's this unfunny user who tells a corny joke

What do you do?

BREAK DOWN AND CRY /WRISTS

[Andrew1911]

what

You grab the turtle and smash it against a wall. You are able to crack the shell open and squeeze the tiny body out. You throw the turtle's slow moving body into a trash can and place the turtle's shell around your genitalia as protection. You are now clothed. You walk down a street with turtle shell underwear when you spy a hot dog stand.

You look at the shopkeep and ask him for a hot dog. He screams, "No freaks get hot dogs here!" He takes out a large shotgun and aims it at your body. What do you do?

[Ezloﺕ]

i throw the turtle shell at the guy

i then run

[FAMY2]

 Kiss him.  caterpie;