God dammit

[Feynman]

When I type on my keyboard, the sound of the keys being pushed down is so loud I can't even type at night. My parents are right next door at night and even with the doors closed, they can hear the dreaded space bar making the sound of a rock ship launching off into space. Also, the keyboard is possibly the dirtiest piece of shit I've ever seen. I've had it for three years along with my mouse that when clicked, sounds like glass breaking.

I seriously need a new keyboard.

[Riosan]

On screen keyboard.

[SBKT]

On screen keyboard requires the mouse, too. Get a tablet. IT's difficult at first, but it'll be worth it later.

[Daddy]

When I masturbate, the sound of the fap being performed  is so loud I can't even fap at night. My parents are right next door at night and even with the doors closed, they can hear the dreaded fap making the sound of a kid splashing in a pool. Also, my dick is possibly the largest piece of meat I've ever seen. I've had it for over seventeen years along with my balls that when rubbed, feel like heaven.

I seriously need a new bedroom.

[Feynman]

When I masturbate, the sound of the fap being performed  is so loud I can't even fap at night. My parents are right next door at night and even with the doors closed, they can hear the dreaded fap making the sound of a kid splashing in a pool. Also, my dick is possibly the largest piece of meat I've ever seen. I've had it for over seventeen years along with my balls that when rubbed, feel like heaven.

I seriously need a new bedroom.

YOU MADE ME SWALLOW A CHEERIO.

[mariofreak55]

When I masturbate, the sound of the fap being performed  is so loud I can't even fap at night. My parents are right next door at night and even with the doors closed, they can hear the dreaded fap making the sound of a kid splashing in a pool. Also, my dick is possibly the largest piece of meat I've ever seen. I've had it for over seventeen years along with my balls that when rubbed, feel like heaven.

I seriously need a new bedroom.

LOL

[Bushy]

When I eat, the sound of the chewing  is so loud I can't even eat at night. My parents are right next door at night and even with the doors closed, they can hear the dreaded chew making the sound of a person  bowling. Also, my tongue is possibly the strongest piece of meat I've ever seen. I've had it for over twelve years along with my teeth that when brushed, feel stingy and out of control.

I seriously need a new mouth.

[CruelPleasure]

When I masturbate, the sound of the fap being performed  is so loud I can't even fap at night. My parents are right next door at night and even with the doors closed, they can hear the dreaded fap making the sound of a kid splashing in a pool. Also, my dick is possibly the largest piece of meat I've ever seen. I've had it for over seventeen years along with my balls that when rubbed, feel like heaven.

I seriously need a new bedroom.

Aha. Don't use lube so no sound. Aha

[SBKT]

SHITTYPASTA IS SHIT.

[Feynman]

SHITTYPASTA IS SHIT.

It isn't a -pasta.

[SBKT]

It is. Just look. It's met all two requirements of being a copypasta. It's used multiple times, and it's been wordshooped.

[Feynman]

It is. Just look. It's met all two requirements of being a copypasta. It's used multiple times, and it's been wordshooped.

Well, other people just copied what I said.

[SBKT]

Therefore, it's copypasta, let's go spread it on 4chan again.

[Samus Aran]

Therefore, it's copypasta, let's go spread it on 4chan again.

Excellent idea.

[Wrench]

When I masturbate, the sound of the fap being performed  is so loud I can't even fap at night. My parents are right next door at night and even with the doors closed, they can hear the dreaded fap making the sound of a kid splashing in a pool. Also, my dick is possibly the largest piece of meat I've ever seen. I've had it for over seventeen years along with my balls that when rubbed, feel like heaven.

I seriously need a new bedroom.

Holy shit. I just burst out laughing.
As for keyboard problem, just buy a nice cheap one.