The Worst To Greatest David Bowie Albums

[Andrew1911]

To think only a year ago, I was still a David Bowie fetus. Now, I am a David Bowie veteran, grizzled with scars and having the occasional nightmare of 'Nam. Makes me feel good inside that I have so much time to listen to every song on every David Bowie album. Yeah... Good.

Now, ground rules first. There will be no soundtracks. There will be no... Other things. I don't know what those are yet. Let's just them make them like... Implied rules or some crap. Tin Machine doesn't count because that was technically a band album while Bowie playing with the Spiders From Mars is part of his solo career. So, in other words, no Tin Machine I or II. Live albums? Come on. No. Compilation albums? Are you serious? No. Finally, flash photography is prohibited.

Well, that's it for the rules. Now, let's get down to why I made this thread. I love David Bowie. I find him to be the greatest musician ever. If you argue this with me, I will kill you. I have done it before. The bodies are in a hole in the backyard if you want to check. So, obviously, we're not going to go from fantastic albums and just gradually move to crapsville. We're going to go from the gutter up to the incredible albums Bowie is famous for. So, let's get started knee deep in the crap.

[Andrew1911]

23. Never Let Me Down (This album does not deserve to be bolded or underlined)

Never Let Me Down has a very special quality. This special quality is to be fucking terrible. Unlike my next album, Never Let Me Down at least isn't a complete cover album and tries original songs. But to that but, Never Let Me Down is a souless album. Glass Spider is the only highlight from this awful album. Other than that, ignore all other songs. They're either awful or a scrotum explosion of pain. There are people who will try to say the songs are underrated. They can burn in hell. It's a horrible album. Bowie himself has apologized for the album. That's a pretty big sign that this album is near unlistenable. Just pretend Never Let Me Down never existed and that Bowie went right into Tin Machine after Tonight. It's the only chance we have to ignore this hideous excuse for an album.

22. Pin-Ups

After the fantastic Ziggy Stardust, David Bowie followed up with the not as great but still damn good Aladdin Sane. People were excited for the new original album from Bowie and the Spiders From Mars. Boy, were they pissed or what? It turns out to be a cover album of British songs. That's not the problem with the album, though. The problem is that Bowie and the Spiders from Mars do nothing really good with the songs. They range from mediocre to just plain terrible. It's like they put absoutely no effort into this album whatsover. The fricking cover is as lazy as the album is! It's like a poor photoshop of the Aladdin Sane cover! The cover of the Who's 'I Can't Explain' is just terrible. At least they tried to change it around a bit but it just ended up being a terrible cover. Thank God Bowie ditched the Spiders From Mars with his next album, Diamond Dogs. I could only imagine the horrors the next album would be like if the downward spiral continued.

21. Young Americans

It took me a while but, now, I can tolerate the title song. I still don't like it that much and I still cannot see the praise the song gets. Other than that, the album is pretty mediocre. The only song that's really incredible on the album is Fame. Just a fantastic song. Win is a somewhat good song. Somewhat. Across The Universe is a good cover of the Beatles song and Fascination always can make my groove in the car. It's not a really strong song or anything that you'd remember but it's fun to listen to once in a while. The rest of the album is pretty disposable. It's just a stepping stone for The Thin White Duke to really come out and shine.

20. Tonight

A very underrated album. Sure, it's inferior to it's predecessor, Let's Dance, but it's still a fine album. Blue Jean is the album's highlight. It's catchy. I was signing 'I just met a girl named Blue Jean' in the hallways during school. I started to jig a little jig. It was kind of disturbing to the people in the hallways. But, enough about my terrifying habitats. More on Tonight. Loving the Alien, Tonight, and Bowie's cover of Neighborhood Threat are excellent songs. I'd even go as far to say that Neighborhood Threat is better than Iggy Pop's original song. The bonus songs issued in re-issues of Tonight are also damn good. Dancing in the Street and This Is Not America are the best of the bonus songs. In conclusion, this is the beginning of the albums I really like in Bowie's career. That's pretty damn good for twenty good albums.

19. Reality

Reality's cover is extremely bizarre. The album Reality is not. Reality is as simple as Bowie can get. It's not experimental nor is it trying out anything new. Does that mean it's bad? No. Not at all. Some of the songs are hit or miss but there are definetly some huge hits on Reality. The highlight of the album is the excellent single, New Killer Star. Looking For Water, Bring Me The Disco King, Pablo Picassio, the titular song Reality, and She'll Drive The Big Car are fantastic songs as well. The rest of the album... Not as good.

18. David Bowie

The first album by David Jones under his new name, David Bowie. The album has nothing that comes to mind when you think of David Bowie. There is nothing really experimental. There is no folk rock. There is no glam rock. It's a fairly straight forward album. Does that mean it's bad? Not at all. It's a brilliant album. The album's highlight is We Are Hungry Men, a song that would later come back in Cygnet Committiee, Oh! You Pretty Things, and in Ziggy Stardust. Other good songs are When I Live My Dream and London Boys. If you expect anything of Bowie's later work, you're going to wonder if this was really a Bowie album. Trust me, it is. Just shake your head of all the memories of his 70s work and you're good to go.

17. Let's Dance

Let's Dance was Bowie's biggest sucess in the US. It also has some of his catchiest songs. The highlight of Let's Dance is hard to say. Half of the songs on Let's Dance are great. Let's Dance, China Girl (A cover of Iggy Pop's song which Bowie helped on), Modern Love, and Cat People (Putting Out Fires). But, the rest of the album fails to be as good as those four songs and bring the album down. I always hated the cover to Let's Dance too. I mean, it's Bowie... Boxing. For some reason. Than, there are lines with... Barbells? Because... He's boxing? God **bleep**, I hate that cover with great intensity. Other than that, Let's Dance has some great tunes. Shame the cover and half of the songs fail to match the giddy fun the good half has.

16. Outside

Bowie's most eerie, creepy album in his career. Don't believe me? Check out the cover. That alone should prepare you for the album. The Bowster teams up with Brian Eno once again to deliever another good album. Outside put Bowie back on the map with hit singles such as The Heart's Filthy Lesson, Hallo Spaceboy, and Strangers When We Meet. The highlight for Outside was The Heart's Filthy Lesson. I interpret the song to be about AIDS. It was written a few years after Bowie's pal, Freddie Mercury (Perhaps you've heard of this little known band called Queen?), died of AIDS. Some of the lyrics such as "I'm already five years older/I'm already dead in my bed" can be interpreted as AIDS slowly becoming bigger. The video for the song really solidifies the intrepretation because it features a man plunging a needle into his forehead signifying people sharing needles and a woman spilling milk on her lips (Do I need to point out what that means?).

The album is the mark of the industrial Bowie that would continue on till Earthling but end with 'hours...'. The other good songs on Outside are No Control, Hallo Spaceboy, and A Small Plot of Land.

15. 'hours...'

My favorite Bowie cover. It's just so poetic. It fits the album's theme of regret for past actions so perfectly. The bar code... Don't really get that but younger Bowie holding old Bowie is **bleep** cool. The highlight of 'hours...' is Thursday's Child. It's arguably one of Bowie's greatest songs. It's absoutely beautiful. The backup vocalists for Thursday's Child are what really sell the song. They're essential to how great the song is. Thursday's Child is a song about regret for a past age. It's one of the most relistenable songs in Bowie's repitorare (Too lazy to look up exact spelling). Other than that, the good songs on 'hours...' are Seven, The Dreamers, and What's Really Happening? It marked the beginning of what I like to label The Somber Bowie which is still on-going with his latest album, Reality. In conclusion, 'hours...' is a good album with an absoutely fantastic song.

[Pele]

Where are you copying and pasting this from? navi;

[SBKT]

Where are you copying and pasting this from? navi;

Looks like sgt_pepper did it.

[Andrew1911]

Where are you copying and pasting this from? navi;

icine. I made it under my other name... Q & T.

[Andrew1911]

Where are you copying and pasting this from? navi;

Looks like sgt_pepper did it.

http://icine.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=9991

[Andrew1911]

14. Space Oddity

Space Oddity is a hell of a song. In fact, it's one of Bowie's best songs. It's also the highlight of Space Oddity. But, for some reason, Space Oddity is one of Bowie's most overlooked albums. No one seems to notice the excellent Cygnet Committiee which would be the predecessor to Ziggy Stardust. Other great songs overlooked are Memory of a Free Festival, God Knows I'm Good, and Wild Eyed Boy From Freecloud. Does the 1999 cover remind anyone else of Connect Four? I mean, I think Bowie might have a possible suit that could be worth millions. Bowie better hide and fast! Anyway, the rest of the songs are ranging from meh to pretty good. Space Oddity should have gotten more listeners than it had recieved. Of course, it still needed tons of improvement. Bowie didn't really hit his stride until the great The Man Who Sold The World. But, still... Space Oddity is an album that shows the growing talents of Bowie before he really became an incredible musician.

13. Earthling

The end of the Industrial Bowie. Earthling is a great example of Bowie camoflauging himself into another genre of music which would be techno music for this specific example. Easily, the highlight of this album is the excellent I'm Afraid of Americans. The V1 version, of course. Of course, there are great songs on Earthling than just I'm Afraid of Amerucans. Little Wonder, Dead Man Walking, and Seven Years in Tibet are fantastic songs. It's a shame that Bowie can't keep up the same level of quality with songs like Looking for Satelittes, Battle for Britian, and Law (Earthlings on Fire). Earthling is Bowie's finest techno album. Of course, since he's only made two, it's not that much of an accomplishment. But, still....

12. Diamond Dogs

Diamond Dogs is the end of the glam rock Bowie era that began with The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars. Diamond Dogs really has no highlight song. It's more of highlight songs. Diamond Dogs, 1984, and Rebel Rebel are three of Bowie's greatest songs. Diamond Dogs was originally intended to be a musicial play of Orwell's 1984 but Orwell's widow would not give Bowie the rights to make it. Many of the songs intended for the play ended up on Diamond Dogs like the titular song Diamond Dogs. Of course, most of the album isn't as good as Diamond Dogs, 1984, or Rebel Rebel but those three songs are just so excellent that Diamond Dogs had to be in the top twelve Bowie albums.

11. Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)

The final great album from Bowie until Black Tie White Noise. Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) is the first album after the Berlin Trilogy. Scary Monsters didn't live up to the high expectations set by the albums from the Berlin Trilogy but was still a fantastic album and had great record sales for Bowie. The highlight song from Scary Monsters is Ashes to Ashes, a continuation of Major Tom's story after Space Oddity. The music video for Ashes to Ashes set the bar. It's definetly in the top five Bowie songs, at least. Other good songs on Scary Monsters are Teenage Wildlife, Fashion, and the titular song.

10. Black Tie White Noise

Black Tie White Noise is one Bowie album I'm sure most Bowie fans haven't heard of. Mostly because the recording company that produced BTWN went out of business. Thankfully, it's been re-released a few years back, making it a little easier to find this little known gem. BTWN was the beginning of a more mature Bowie. The highlight of BTWN is Miracle Goodnight, a beautiful song for Bowie's new bride, Iman Abdulmajid. Other great songs on BTWN are Black Tie White Noise, Jump They Say, Nite Flights, Pallas Athena, and You've Been Around. Hopefully, now, that I praise Black Tie White Noise's name, more Bowie fans will at least try to listen to this underappreciated album. Just give me some more black tie with some white noise.

[SBKT]

Well, I retract what I said then. You are music mastar.

[Andrew1911]

9. The Man Who Sold The World

The Man Who Sold The World never really had the same Bowie feel as his other albums had. It was his heavy metal album. Heavy metal was needed for the album, though, as all the songs had heavy subject matter. All The Madmen dealt with insanity, Running Gun Blues dealt with 'Nam, and Savior Machines dealt with omniscient computers. The highlight of The Man Who Sold The World is the titular song, The Man Who Sold The World. Of course, the album has many other great songs as well. Black Country Rock (QGG's favorite) is an excellent rock song, The Width of a Circle, All The Madmen, Running Gun Blues, and Savior Machines. It's a fantastic album that led to Bowie's true success with the absoutely brilliant Hunky Dory.

8. Lodger

Ah, the beginning of the eight best Bowie albums begins fittingly with the end of the Berlin Trilogy. Lodger, as I said before, was the finale in a trilogy of albums Bowie made in Berlin with Brian Eno. Lodger is terribly underrated. How does it not get as much acclaim as 'Heroes' and Low is beyond me. Some of Bowie's best work was done in Berlin. Lodger is no exception. Lodger isn't as experimental as Low or "Heroes" but that's not an insult. It's just the most accessible of the Berlin Trilogy. The highlight song from Lodger has to be the funky Boys Keep Swinging. That's not saying the rest of the songs on Lodger are slouches. Great songs on Lodger are Look Back in Anger, Fantastic Voyage, DJ, African Night Flight, and Red Sails. It's a great album but it's not as good as Low or "Heroes".

7. Aladdin Sane

Aladdin Sane is Bowie's follow-up to the consistantly great The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars. Aladdin Sane couldn't possibly live up to the massive hype that Ziggy Stardust created so that could explain why it's overlooked somewhat. Of course, it doesn't mean it's a bad album. I mean, it's fantastic. The highlight song is The Prettiest Star with some great other songs such as Time, Watch That Man, Cracked Actor, and Panic in Detriot. Most of the songs are great but unlike Ziggy Stardust, they're not all great. It's such a shame because this was the last great album from Bowie being teamed up with the Spiders From Mars. Just a shame.

6. "Heroes"

The second in the Berlin Trilogy but certainly not the least! Well, that joke would've made sense if it was the last one like Lodger... Well... Shut up. Note the quotation marks on "Heroes". Perhaps, it could mean something? No. It's just there for shits and giggles. The title song is easily the highlight of the album. "Heroes" has Bowie's best vocals in his career. Bowie has just so much raw emotion on "Heroes". I thought Bowie was on the verge of tears when listening to the end of "Heroes". The other songs on the album can't manage to come close to "Heroes"'s quality but they are still damn good. Beauty and the Beast, Joe the Lion, and Sons of the Silent Age are fantastic songs and should not be overlooked. In conclusion, "Heroes" = Rocks my socks off.

5. Heathen

David Bowie's true comeback album after the lack of critical and commercial success on his last few albums. Heathen is where Bowie finally got the acclaim he richly deserved. The highlight song on Heathen is by far, Slip Away, which is close in style to Life on Mars?. Other great songs from Heathen are Slow Burn, Everyone Says "Hi", Cactus, Heathen (The Rays), I Would Be Your Slave, and I've Been Waiting For You. Sunday, Afraid, I Took A Trip on a Gemini Spaceship, and A Better Future aren't terrible songs nor are they good songs. Heathen is still a fantastic album even with those misses. I only wish Reality would have been as good as Heathen turned out to be.

[Andrew1911]

The Sacred Four

4. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars

The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars leads up into the sacred four. Usually, it's the sacred five but sacred four just sounds cooler.This is where the list gets really interesting. Now, we're on to Bowie's best and brightest albums. Ziggy Stardust is a rock and roll mini opera about Earth having five years to being destroyed in the song Five Years. Ziggy is revealed in Moonage Daydream which explains Ziggy's character as the very being of a rock star. Ziggy watches over Earth but fears to enter because he may blow our minds in Starman. Ziggy is afraid of becoming a rock star in It Ain't Easy. In Lady Stardust, Ziggy tells boys to go out and cross dress. Star is where Ziggy plans out his ideas for humanity. Then, Ziggy Stardust is a summary of the entire album and it tells of Ziggy's death. Sufferagete City is when Ziggy begins to get addicted to drugs and girls and stops paying attention to rocking out. Rock N Roll Suicide is the final song and it's about Ziggy's fall.

Now, the songs on Ziggy Stardust are all fantastic. I cannot find a dud among them. It's one of Bowie's best and one of the best albums of all time. This, the 3 other Bowie albums not mentioned yet, and another album who's name escapes me at this moment are albums I would bring with me to a desert island. Or something. Whatever the hell you do, Mr. **bleep**.

3. Station to Station

Oh, hell yes. We're in the area where every song on the album is of top notch quality. First, let's discuss the cover. What the hell is it? It's a screenshot from The Man Who Fell To Earth, an adaptation Bowie starred in. Low also has a screenshot from the same movie as it's cover. The cover fits the album well because it's just a strange, funky album. What? Funky? Bowie? You're thinking, wow, are you high or something? Yes. But that has little to do with what I am talking about.

This is Bowie's second plastic soul album after Young Americans. This is easily the better plastic soul album, by far. The highlight song is hard to say. It's between Golden Years and the epic title track, Station to Station. I've got to go with Station to Station. It's just a fantastic song. The way it transcends from just a simply great song to a Bowie classic is five minutes and eighteen seconds into the song. It's just poetry in the end. Absoutely breathtaking song. Of course, the rest of the album is still brilliant. As I said before, Golden Years is excellent. As is TVC15, a song about Bowie's friend Iggy Pop. And who can forget Stay, Word on a Wing, and Wild is the Wind? Easily deserves it's spot in the sacred four.

2. Hunky Dory

The fourth album by Bowie. The first album where Bowie finally hit his stride. Let's talk about the cover, first. It's just so psychedelic and strange which fits Hunky Dory so perfectly. Every single song on Hunky Dory is absoutely brilliant. Life on Mars? is in the top three greatest David Bowie songs easily. It's just such a beautiful song. Of course, that's not a knock to all the other fantastic songs on Hunky Dory. Andy Warhol is one song that I can never seem to understand the lack of love for. It's the second best song on Hunky Dory.

Queen Bitch is another great song from Hunky Dory that deserves more love than just from Wes Anderson. Changes is probably the most well known song from Hunky Dory but it shouldn't have been. Of course, that's not a knock to it. It's just not the best song from Hunky Dory. Still an absoutely brilliant song. Oh! You Pretty Things is an underlistened song that deserves more love, as well. Kooks is a nice, little song for Bowie's son. Quicksand is a brilliant song with one of my favorite little Ronson moves in the beginning. The Belway Brothers is a very creepy and entertaining song that doesn't get enough praise. A lot of songs on Hunky Dory are underrated. It needs more love. Give it more love. Right now. Go buy it. Wait, don't leave the computer yet! I'm not done yet!

Eight Line Poem, Fill Your Heart, and Song for Bob Dylan aren't as good as the songs I've mentioned but they are easily still great songs. Hunky Dory is the start of what would be Bowie's Golden Age.

1. Low

Low is perhaps the greatest achievement any musician can ever hope to achieve. It's one of the most influential albums of all time. Back in the day, it wasn't as well recieved as it is now. People thought it took too much of a left turn. Thanks to age, Low is now considered by some (Hey, I'm part of them!) to be Bowie's best album.

The songs on Low have to be heard to be believed. Always Crashing In The Same Car has Bowie singing with a very subdued voice. It's a very quiet, tragic song. It has a haunting melody. I love it. Be My Wife is Low's most accessible song. That's not taking a crack at it, however. Be My Wife is still an excellent song. A New Career In A New Town has a great country-western/sci-fi tone to it. It's a good song. Sound and Vision is a masterpiece. It isn't Low's masterpiece, however. Sound and Vision is an incredible song. That memorable little guitar move about 40 seconds is magnificant. Bowie's overlapping lyrics fit right in with the song. The best song on Low and arguably, Bowie's greatest song, is Speed of Life. It has no lyrics but, my God... Those beautiful sounds... It's like swimming in the ocean... It's Low's masterpiece. And that, my friends, marks the end of the list.

[Andrew1911]

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