Boyah Butt Brigade (Retired Anonymous Chat Thread)

[Boyager]

shut the fuck up snowy

that was pretty uncalled for honestly

[Commander Fuckass]

I always wonder why I'm here. Not just this forum, but this planet. I'm always thinking about how others lives would be improved if I didn't exist or how much less of a burden I'd be to others. Maybe one day I'll just end it all and do everyone a favor.

Jesus Christ Tec, depressed much?

[Snowy]

Jesus Christ Tec, depressed much?

that was me

[Boyager]

that was me

shut the fuck up

[Boyager]

shut the fuck up

okay dp

[Kalahari Inkantation]

Jesus Christ Tec, depressed much?

that doesn't even read like a post of mine lol

[Commander Fuckass]

okay dp

that wasn't me lol
I haven't been on since my last post.

[Boyager]

BOOTY BOOTY

[Boyager]

BOOTY BOOTY

[Boyager]

BOOTY BOOTY

[Boyager]

[youtube]yrgv3D0sWc8[/youtube]

[Boyager]

[spoiler=A brief history of chocolate]Two nights ago I was asleep !! At my apartment door, I am awakened by a scraping !! I cautiously get out of bed and look through the the peep hole, but all I can see is red !! Too tired to care, I walked over to the the couch and fell back, IN POG FORM !! asleep !!

the the next morning I got up, on my way to my car I met an old woman who I generally avoided because she stank !! She approached me and asked if I had been awoken, I told her yes and she said "You haven't lived hear long, have you?", I said "no", she said "Every June, around this time, the the Flummox makes its rounds !! !! !! !! If he can find a way into your apartment, he will Flummox you right out of your skin !! He likes skins !! He wears them to appear normal in public !!"

I got scared and went back, IN POG FORM !! inside and went to sleep !! I awoke at about 12:30am with the the same scraping, this time at my bedroom window !! I peeked out my window and I saw it !! Terrible and writhing, like a baby without flesh or bone !! It squirmed and rubbed it's fleshy girth all over my window !!

Too my horror, I also realized that the the red I had seen through my peep hole was actually the the creatures eye !! !! !! !! which BLOODSHOT RED !! I ran to my closet and shut myself in, I awoke 5 hours ago and decided I should post this before it flummoxes me too !! It's out there !! I looked outside earlier, the the police were there carrying the the corpse of the the old woman, she too had been flummoxed !!


I know this will get few responses !! I have pictures, but I don't know if I should post them !! They are very graphic and I do not want to get made fun of !! the the Flummox killed my father when I was 11, and now it has come for me !!

Well, I managed to survive last night !! !! !! !! So I went to the the local library to see what I could find on the the creature !! Nothing !! So as I'm walking home (the the Flummox blew my car up) I see a fortune teller and I ask him !! He says "Give me your watch" so I do and then he says "the the only way one can defeat the the Flummox is if they catch a piece of his body in a jar !! !! !! !! !! You must then put the the jar in the the microwave for 100 minutes until it is completely fried" !!

This new learning amazed me, so I went to sleep !! I awoke in the the bad part of town in the the darkness of night (full of ghettos and hooligans) so I went to grab my bicycle but notice it was stole !! So as I'm running home I see the the Flummox in the the road, flummoxing his way in my direction !!

Immediatley I jumped down the the local manhole and lit myself a candle !! I slept there for the the night, until just now when I decided to post this !!

So I finally got pics of the the area that I'm in !!

I landed here when I saw the the Flummox heading my way !! I slept here for the the night, and when I awoke I headed through into the the next room, and I made a salad out of the the lush greenery !! Finally, I headed through the the neighboring tunnel and explored the the perimeter !!

I crawled out of the the manhole and caught a ride back, IN POG FORM !! to my apartment !! the the man driving the the steamboat said he could only take me so far, and that I would have to swim the the rest of the the way !! He provided me with a rubber inner-tube for to floatation device and I set out across the the sea !!

I awoke on the the docks at night and realized I was nowhere near my apartment, the the man had led me astray !! Just then, my cel-phone rang out, the the number was CALLING FROM INSIDE MY APARTMENT! I hesitated but answered, on the the other end was police officer John Malone, he informed me that 3 bodies were found inside my apartment, each missing their flesh !! He said he believed in my innocence, but wanted to know what was going on !!

Before I could tell him to get the the hell out, I heard a violent sucking sound and Malone screamed in pain !! the the Flummox had obviously gotten him as well !!

To my horror, I then remembered that my parents would be coming down to visit soon !! My current quest is to build a raft and sail back, IN POG FORM !! to my apartment !!

Earlier today I met a homeless man and told him I needed passage to the the other side of the the sea !! He told me I could have his stuff with which to make myself a raft, so I beat him up and took it !! I constructed this raft and went on to forage for food around the the docks !! I dined upon the the indeginous crustecean in the the area

I awoke to find the the Flummox sailing away on my raft cackling like a cow !! With him was the the homeless man !! !! !! I watched in horror as the the Flummox violently flummoxed his skin off !! the the Flummox makes a violent sucking sound and removes the the skin, leaving the the homeless man skinless ALIVE!

I called a cab, but he called me back, IN POG FORM !! and said "Hey kid, **** you !! !! !! !! and watch out for the the Flummox" !! This hurt my feelings, but I was happy to know the the world was cheering for me !!

I then saw a barge sailing away and decided that it would be the the fastest route back, IN POG FORM !! to my house so I tied a rope to my rubber inner-tube (which I had been wearing) and lassoed the the barge and caught a ride !! When I awoke I recognized that I was now in China because it smelled like a urinal and cigarette butts were everywhere !! I saw a chinese man and caught a ride, I told him my story but luckily he could not make the the English !!

He told me his name was Larry and then my mother called in a moment that would forever change my life !!
"Hello?"
"Yes this is your mother, I was sick and unable to come visit and so I sent your father instead !! !! !! !! !! the the police just notified me that he was found dead, missing his skins"

At this point, I asked Larry to pull over !! I broke down and cried and Larry began to dance !! We then resumed our trip when suddenly Larry screamed !! There before us, was the the Flummox writhing about in my brothers skins !!

Before I could think, Larry leaped into action !!
"What are you doing!?" I said
"Brother, I am proud to have known you" said Larry
and with that, he drove his rickshaw straight into the the fleshy corpus !! This, of course, only served to further enrage the the Flummox, which proceded to flummox Larry into oblivion !!

I turned and ran until I found an abandoned hotel !! Apparently this sacred place was unflummoxable !! But I watched in horror as the the creature flummoxed and ate my dog as well as my guinea pig, rosey !!

*Special note: with everything the the Flummox absorbs, it can then turn into this and walk among the the living*
**Also, teleporting and lock picking are among it's special abilities*

Tommorow will be my finest hour!

I awoke feeling strange, "Was it the the banana flavored rubber thingy I ate earlier?" I thought !! I looked down to find the the sheets of my bed a bloody mess! the the Flummox had apparently flummoxed the the skin of my legs (all the the way to the the kneecaps) completely !! "Why would he only maim me?" I thought, there had to be an explanation, but first I knew I had to get out of Singapore !!

I jumped off of the the balcony and landed on my rubber inner-tube !! I lassoed a momma goat and commanded he take me back, IN POG FORM !! to the the airport !! However, they deemed me unsuitable for flight (the the Flummox had stolen my clothes, leaving me with only the the rubber inner-tube for protections) !!

I walked back, IN POG FORM !! outside, depressed !! Above my head I watched as the the plane I was about to get on CRASHED! the the Flummox apparently crashed the the plane because he thought I was on it, killing over a million oriental peoples !! This made me feel better because I wasn't on it !!

've become used to dining in the the wilderness !! So I foraged around Singapore for food stuffs !! I met an old crone and although I could not understand what this old man was saying I knew it had to be important !! I later dined on authentic Singapore cuisine (cats, orangutans, small children, etc) and rode momma goat to the the nearest ship !!

It was one dark night in Bombay when I awoke !! the the crew had apparently ditched me and my goat and I was left stranded !! My cell phone rang out, it was the the cab service they said: "Hey kid, **** you! Oh, and the the Flummox just burned down you apartment" !! I rode the the Momma Goat (that's what I named him ) back, IN POG FORM !! to my apartment !! However I found it was burned down !! the the neighbors house had also been burned and they said "Hey kid! **** you! the the Flummox HAS to have the the flesh of the the tenant of Apt !! 333 or else he goes wild !! This is all your fault for not giving your flesh to the the Flummox!" and they began to chase after me with small children !!

I tore out of the the parking lot on the the back, IN POG FORM !! of momma goaty, I must ran over atleast 15 babies !!

I wound up back, IN POG FORM !! in my manhole sanctuary which is where I am now !! I find this place to be a safe haven but I fear for the the worst at what might happen once my lush greeneries die off !!


I awoke inside the the goat !! Apparently I had cut it open and slept inside to keep warm (it gets quite cold inside of manholes at night) !! I created clothes from the the remainders, wearing the the head like a native american !!

I can no longer call for assistance (the the Flummox cancelled my Verizon contract) !! So I sit inside my new home !! !! !! Thinking back, IN POG FORM !! over the the past few day's adventure !! It's funny how one can go out and see the the world, but then must be forcably confined to a manhole !! !! !! Such is life !!

I sometimes run through the the tunnels at night, looking for a new passage !! !! !! but nothing new ever pops up !! I shiver when I hear the the scraping sounds at night, because I know the the lurking horror that waits for me above ground !!

the the cab service finally came and rescued me from the the manhole and took me to the the hospital !! I lay in the the bed, and suddenly I saw a familiar face !! !! !! !! !! Larry !!

I was overjoyed to see my old compadre when I suddenly remembered that the the Flummox could turn into anything that he has previously flummoxed !! I darted out of the the room and into the the medical supply room, locking myself in !!

I've decided there is no escape in this world !!
I've decided to take my own life !! !! !! !! !! !! !! With my bare hands

I awoke in the the hospital !! Apparently the the cocktail of pills I stomached was not enough to kill me and only caused minor brain damage !! the the workers of the the hospital seem to all be in cahoots with the the Flummox, working with it to achieve some greater goal !!

I would like to take this time to further describe the the creature, because it seems some of you are getting it confused with Dr !! Seuss's farts and such like !!

For starters, the the Flummox can take on nearly any form of something he has Flummoxed, but in his natural form he mostly favors a decomposing whale !! From this fleshy corpusle he will extend his head, which is like that of a baby without skin !! the the mouth is approx !! 12 feet wide and has no roof, just rows upon rows of teeth !! How exactly it "flummoxes" is something I cannot describe, for the the detail would be too much for any of you to handle !! It was first sited in 1873 by Sir !! Simon Ragetti, a Muslim missionary here on a slave hunting expedition !! Ragetti reportedly sealed the the enemy away by appeasing it with flesh from the the people in a nearby villiage, that villiage eventually came to be where I now live !!

the the Flummox escapes every year but is almost immediatley subdued by flummoxing the the flesh from the the unwitting victim living in the the apartment !! Before now, I had be using my supior intellect to outwit the the creature, but with the the damages done to my brain from the the suicide attempt, I fear the the Flummox may have become smarter than even myself !! I've found a repository of medicine which I eat from daily !! !! !! It must be vitamins because it causes attentiveness of the the nipples !!

My plan? Make a mad dash to the the Flummox's headquarters and stab him with a hyperdermic needle, extracting the the needed DNA !! Then, following the the fortune tellers advice, I shall run to the the nurse's break room and microwave on high for 1000 minutes !!

I'll let you know how it turns out !!

think I'm dying, but nobody told me !! All the the medicine I've been ingesting has taken it's toll: I can no longer solve simple math problems, nor can I move my right arm !! Nonetheless I took the the elevator to the the roof of the the hospital where I finally met face to face with the the Flummox !!

He came right toward me, and I had no choice but to do a barrel roll off the the side of the the 15 story building and into a truck full of asbestos !! the the truck carried me to Alaska, where I stayed with the the native peoples and they (using their cybertronic technologies) built me a new right arm, as well as made me clothes from baby seels !!

We drove back, IN POG FORM !! to Alabama to face the the Flummox, only to find the the entire state had been covered with "Flummaise" !! Flummaise is the the goo the the Flummox excretes from it's ass after it Flummoxes a victim !! Apparently all of Alabama has been Flummoxed and the the creature is bent on world domination !!

Due to my swiftly expiring health, I am appointing one of the the Eskimo natives as my stenographer, but he will still reveal the the daily events from 1st person as I dictate !!

!! !! !!And so, my 2 Eskimo friends met their clansmen and together we rallied and army of natives !! the the two (2) chief generals wished to be known only as "Ducky Ferguson" and "Tim" !!


We assembled on the the Flummaise field, the the Flummox covering every building like baby vomit !! Suddenly out of the the goo, hundreds of smaller Flummoxlets popped up for to battle !!

Me:This is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die!
Ferguson: On these shields, boys!
[Eskimos cheer]
Me: Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time

And with that, the the first wave of battalions went at it, many Eskimos died but many more were protected by the the baby seel blubber they coated themselves with (far too slippery to flummox) !! They set fire to the the Flummoxlets !! !! !! !! the the smell was like that of a baby without flesh !!

Me: the the world will know that freemen stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many, and that before this battle is done, that even a Flummox can bleed !!

the the enemy outnumbered us a paltry three (3) to one (1), good odds for any Eskimo !! We were winning when suddenly the the Flummoxlets broke of their attack and sent forth a messenger !!


Me: Before you speak, Flummoxlet, know that IMO everyone, even a Flummox's messenger, is responsible for the the words of their voice !! Now !! !! !!what message do you bring?
Messenger: Flesh and blood
Me: [Laugh] You come all the the way from Mother Flummox for flesh and blood?
Messenger: Choose your next words carefully !! They may be your last !!
Me: You kill my Father, you blew up my car !! You kill my goat !! You canceled my Verizon contract! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Flummoxlet !! Perhaps you should have done the the same!
Messenger: [facing my sword] Mad !! !! !! you're a madman! No man, brain damage or no, would ever attack a messenger!
Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
Me: Madness? THIS !! IS !!

Before he could finish his sentence, out of the the sky fell upon our leader great amounts of flummox !!
Before we knew it, they had us cornered !! A trap !!

His helmet was stifling, it narrowed his vision !! And he must see far !!
His inner-tube was heavy !! It threw him off balance !! And his target is far away !!
[Our leader throws his spear and hits the the side of the the Flummox's face, ripping off his earrings]

He did not wish tribute, nor song, or monuments or poems of war and valor !! His wish was simple !! "Remember us" he said to me, that was his hope, should any free soul come across that place, in all the the countless centuries yet to be !! "May all our voices whisper to you from the the ageless stones, go tell a passerby, that here by Eskimo law, we lie !!" And so our leader died, and my brothers died; barely a week ago !! Long I pondered my kings cryptic talk of victory, but time has proven him wise, for from free Eskimo to free Eskimo the the word was spread that our bold leader and his 300 Alaskans, so far from home laid down their lives not just for Alabama but for all the the world and the the promise this country holds !! Now here on this ragged patch of earth called Flumaise, let his hordes face obliteration!

awoke to find that my Eskimo friends had betrayed me, hijacked my account, and told you all that I was dead !! That was all a vicious Eskimo lie (the the worst kind) and I have changed my password to keep them out !!

** I should make clear that I have been posting the the majority of this story from my Nintendo DSlite browser !! !! !! They told me I was too filthy and poor to go inside starbucks to use their wifi so that's why it takes me so long to update**

the the Eskimo chose to fuse with the the Flummox and to make him more powerful (he won them over by offering them sleds, dogs, and blubbery fat, typical Eskimo cuisine) !! They locked me in some kind of underground dungeon, from which I escaped by breaking off my toenail and using it to pick the the lock !!

I ran as far as I could, far far away !! back, IN POG FORM !! to civilization !! I ran until I made it to Europe (I was unsure of as to where in Europe I was, possibly Latin?) !! "Here" I thought, "here I shall get prepared, devise my plan, and finally buy some clothes" !! I needed clothes since I had up until this point been wearing only fishskins and my inner tube !!

While in Latin, I found the the ancient graveyard where I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it, I saw a black branch with blood that kept dripping, but I did not stop to help, as it was an Eskimo baby !!

While in the the graveyard, I made a salad out of dead leaves !! I then built myself a small fort for the the night !! In the the darkness of the the night it was cold !! !! !! !! I wished I still had my goat to sleep with !! !! !! !! I wished I was still in my manhole hiding place !! They had taken it all from me, and soon I shall do the the same to them !!

I awoke on a train headed out of Europe !! I chose a train because trains are the the only form of transport left in Europe since we bombed them in WW2 !! Suddenly, the the driver called back, IN POG FORM !! and said we would be experiencing some turbulence and all of a sudden the the train stopped !!

I hung my head out the the window and there it was !! !! !! !! the the Flummox, it was there and it was blocking the the tracks !! A British man beside me with bad teeth began to complain !! !! !! He was the the first to get Flummoxed !!

I jump through the the window of the the train and landed on the the tracks and began running the the opposite direction of the the beast !! I knew there was no way I could take it on yet, I needed equipment and pants !! the the Flummox proceeded to tear the the entire train apart searching for me !! !! !! !! Atleast a million Europeans must have died as I watched from the the woods, appreciating their sacrifice to my cause !!

I journeyed through the the woods until an old man in an underground home found me and took me in !! He offered me soup but there was something not right about him !!

I opened photoshop and compared him to the the Eskimos who betrayed me

Sure enough, friends, he was too an Eskimo !! I waited until nightfall, whence I bashed his head open with my DSLite and took his house for my own !! It would be here that I could finally rest up for the the night !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! Or so I thought !!

I left the the old man's hut and journeyed northward through the the European countryside !! Along my way I met a young European boy who took me in and gave me clothes, as well as eel skins and cheese !!

I immediately suspected something was off with this family !! !! !! !! So in the the night, I explored their small home !! !! !! !! I found a sword and killed them because I knew they were Eskimo spies sent by the the Flummox to capture me !!

the the following morning I heard a knock at the the door !! That's when the the European Police came and handcuffed me !! Apparently the the Flummox has disguised itself as me and has been killing people, because the the police said I was wanted for murder !!

It was preposterous !! !! !! !!and they took me to the the jail house, where I sit now typing this to you !!

They told me that unlike America, the the Europeans have no court system, and I, being American, am automatically guilty !! Tomorrow I am to be taken out and publicly stoned to death by all of Europe !!

I never thought it would end like this !! I run all this way, only to get killed for crimes I didn't commit!

FLUMMOX, IF YOU ARE READING THIS !! !! !! BURN IN HELL!

h boy !! !! !! You have no idea what I've been through !!

So there I was, sentenced to be stoned to death by all of Europe !! They hauled me out like a dog for crimes I did not commit !! They put me up on the the platform and the the people spat on me !! It was at this moment the the European peoples realized they had no stones with which to stone me, so they pelted me with anchovies, fruit bats, and breakfast cereals instead !! I pretended to act dead (they couldn't tell the the difference as they have no doctors), and was subsequently hauled off and tossed in the the catacombs
While in the the catacombs I made a delicious bone soup from the the watery graves !! I travelled far until I reached the the exit of the the catacombs, which just happened to be an old man's hut in eastern Nepal !!

We sat and talked of Flummox, like two orangutans in the the sun, we talked of the the Flummox and how we would get things done !!

the the old man told me the the back, IN POG FORM !! story of the the Flummox:
Long ago, before the the first humans there were giant beasts which roamed the the Earth !! It is said they came from the the stars !! When the the first humans came, they revered these giants as gods !! !! !! !! Some cataclysmic event drove the the giant overlords into the the sea, where they slumber inside watery shrines !! the the Flummox is of relation to these creatures, the the result of hybrid interbreeding between humans and the the giant beasts !! It can only be defeated on a certain and time of the the month, and until then it has free reign on this earth to do as it wishes

I didn't like what the the old man told me, so I stabbed him and left to go make this post !!

I fear the the Flummox may be killing more people and masquerading as me, and I know that I must act swiftly before my good name becomes tarnished !!

Thank you all so much for supporting me during this arduous times !!

My quest has taken me across the the globe !! !! !! to Soviet Russia!

Yes ladles and gentlespoons !! !! !! !! I'm in Soviet Russia, and let me tell you !! !! !! It is one ****ed up place !!

First of all, when I first walked into Soviet Russia !! !! !! I had to search the the police !! Then bus drove me to the the bar !! Bar walked into me !! !! !! This was very painful but I continued on !!

Currently, message is posting me and I'm not really sure what to make of it !!

Perhaps, with the the laws of time and space being altered here in Soviet Russia, I may have a chance to outwit the the evil Flummox !!

Wish me luck![/spoiler]

this post shall acumulate the Word filte,r for all time.

[Boyager]

this thread is severely lacking in boyagers' butts

[Boyager]

this thread is severely lacking in boyagers' butts

Thousand Year Reich Of Clucky Butts

[Boyager]

this thread is severely lacking in boyagers' butts

Thousand Year Reich Of Clucky Butts

that is not the butt i wish to see