tomato garden

[j o e i n c]

"THE ITALIAN TOMATO GARDEN

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:


Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad



A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.

Love, Vinnie



At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived with a tactical team. They bust down the doors, placed the dad in temporary custody, and had a crew dig up the entire area of the garden, but they did not find any bodies. They apologized to the old man, took off the cuffs, and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie"

[Socks]

Classic.

[Knig]

That wouldn't work for asparagus. 

[Kalahari Inkantation]

Clever.

[Blaze-Senpai]

Hey I just got it

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

Why is he italian?

[Selkie]

That's pretty good

[Houdini]

Nice. Who wrote that?

[j o e i n c]

That wouldn't work for asparagus. 

I hate asparagus. 

[j o e i n c]

""Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbour Virgil Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs , but he's hidin' it there."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

"Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep!"

"Happy Birthday, buddy!""

[Socks]

I want moar.

[V]

First one was very good, second, not so much.

[Selkie]

First one was very good, second, not so much.

Yeah, it lacked the beauty of the first.

God the first is great.