I Am Crap: Review

[Solar and Lunar]

Well, Bassir wanted me to write movie reviews for some strange reason. So, I might as well start with the aweful convolution of lights and Will Smith that was I Am Legend. There are spoilers in this, but if you still wanna see the film after reading this, then you're not listening are you?

First of all, Will Smith should just stick to giving relationship advice because he can't do much else. Will Smith is supposed to be the only guy on earth but apparently that doesn't really matter to him. Besides looking bewildered every once in a while, the only clue that we get that he might be losing it is that he talks to dolls. And its all just done in a quirky way, and supposed to make you laugh. Once he really start to flip all he does is she'd a tear here and there and that's it. Where's Shia LeBouf when we need him?

The story, which is based on the brilliant book, takes everything that was deep and meaningful about the book and just throws that away. I mean, all it tries to be is a monster-movie with a little bit of witty comedy. And HOW lucky is that guy. Right, before he kills himself, a hot Brazilian chick comes to save him. If a hot chick is gonna come looking for me everytime I'm gonna kill myself, I'd buy a rope and a handgun. So, then the climax of the film is them going crazy in his house and just the monster out of nowhere recovering. How does that happen? Then, the guy decides to kill himself and kick the girl out. What I'm wondering is, there isnt any more monsters outside the house? Or did they all just get cramped in that little basement? The end was just like 3 years later or whatever, she's saved. Wow, whoopdie fucking doo.

And what is with all the Bob Marley references? No one's being oppressed in the movie. It's not like the monsters are fighting for equal rights. They wanna kill everything in sight. That is a cheap way to get Jamaicans to watch the film...

At the end of the day, this is just another poorly done 28 Days Later rip-off. Hey, Hollywood: Danny Boyle can actually direct a film, so stop trying to be like him. (28 Weeks Later sucked...)

[Feynman]

a hot Brazilian chick comes to save him

she wasn't hot, just anorexic

[Trini]

This review made me lol. I've heard a lot of things about it. From your everyday dumbasses, to the news stations. Apparently everyone is just riding a wave of greatness, before they fall and bust their ass. Realizing it wasn't that great. Didn't that happen to Tp?

[rreeppttaarr]

Hm...

I actually liked that movie alot, but hey, to each his own