Jurassic Park: The Lost Piece of Shit: The Remake

[Andrew1911]

Jesus Christ, you're kidding me. This has to be the cheapest title I've ever seen. Isn't this a huge big budget movie? Why the hell are they making this look like Troll 2 here? I'm not even going to come up with hi-larous alternate titles to make fun of it. The movie does a damn good job of it for me already.



"You actually expect me to drink this slime? How about I fire you and leave you to die on this uncharted island, you uncultured swine? Get me something that won't make me vomit and I'll consider not firing you."



"You actually expect me to eat this sludge? Wait till my father hears about this!"



"Honey, wait! Don't go off on your own, exploring an uncharted island!"



"For God's sakes, let her go exploring this uncharted island. She'll learn a good life lesson about not dying if she gets attacked by dinosaurs. If she does die... Well, we'll make a new one."



"Wow! Mommy! Daddy! You have to come see this!"



"Sorry, honey! Can't hear you! I'm too busy being a stuck up bitch!"



"Wait... What are you doing?"



"I smell danger."



"That's the most horrific thing I have ever seen in my life! Someone! Kill it! Kill it!"

[Necro]

YAY STORY-TIME

[Andrew1911]

"Jews. They've been stealing my money, Malcolm. Especially that Jew son of a bitch nephew."



"Uh... Excuse me?"



"Jesus titty fucking Christ, Malcolm. Were you not paying attention to me? JEWS. THEY'RE STEALING MY MONEY."



"I heard you. It's just that... Yikes."



"Bah, you and your PC police. I'm old. I'll say whatever the hell I want. My newphew got me off the board because of my new rule that stated Jews are to be ten feet away from the vault at all times. Hey, I put it down from Jews are not allowed to be in the building at all! Whiny bastards."



"Well, I'm going to go now and see my girlfriend... It's clear this isn't going to go anywhere good."



"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I gave your girlfriend a job. She's on Site B, rescuing my money from the Jews."



"Hi, this is Malcolm's girlfriend. I can't answer the phone right now because I'm on Site B, the other convenintly made island in case a sequel was made. Leave a message after the tone."



"You old, racist son of a motherfucker."



"Now, now... There's no use crying over spilled guts. She just left a day ago. If you leave now... You can probably make it in time. If not... Well... You can always find another one. This time, you can also find one who's not a redhead. Redheads are a sign of the devil, Malcolm."



"Godspeed, Malcolm! May the good ol' Christian God grant you a safe journey! Make sure the Jews don't attack! Now... I have to prepare for the night. Where's my knife?"

[Zack777]

I like the song  china;

[Necro]

I lol'd.

[Pyrate]

"I smell danger."

Why this is so incredibly funny, I will never know.