I looked inside of the box...

[Feynman]

AND OH GOD IT WAS AN iMAC TAPED TO A DELL XPS NOTEBOOK

[Kalahari Inkantation]

I slowly insert my penis into the box...

[Wrench]

Your penis is chopped off, .

[Kalahari Inkantation]

Your penis is chopped off, .

By what?

[~Fiesta~]

By what?

By this thing

[Kalahari Inkantation]

By this thing

BASSIR NEVER MENTIONED A TURTLE IN THE BOX

[Wrench]

BASSIR NEVER MENTIONED A TURTLE IN THE BOX

HE ALSO DIDN'T MENTION TO STICK YOUR PENIS INSIDE.

[~Fiesta~]

BASSIR NEVER MENTIONED A TURTLE IN THE BOX

PLOT TWIST  j;

[JGE]

I then wrestle the Turtle into a submission.

[Kalahari Inkantation]

HE ALSO DIDN'T MENTION TO STICK YOUR PENIS INSIDE.

I DECIDED TO DO THAT MYSELF
THE POINT IS, THERE WAS NEVER A TURTLE IN THE BOX

[Wrench]

I then wrestle the Turtle into a submission.

Bad move. The turtle bites off your penis too.

[YPrrrr]

Bad move. The turtle bites off your penis too.

*bites the turtle's penis off*

[~Fiesta~]

I tie the turtle down and thrust my penis into it's shell.

[JGE]

Bad move. The turtle bites off your penis too.

I have a backup penis.

*bites the turtle's penis off*

The turtle dies, but then turns into a zombie.

[Kalahari Inkantation]

THERE IS NO TURTLE