OLD, but funny still

[Bushy]

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious.

He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from the older boys, and
he wondered what it was and how it was done.

One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the
curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.

This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his
mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most
of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must
be getting sick, because her face started looking funny.

He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to
feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as
the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he
was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and
getting all out of breath.

His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt.

About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around
and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever started.
I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot.

Finally, I found out what was making them so sick......-a big eel had gotten
inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there,
about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it
from getting away.

When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her eyes got big, and her mouth fell
open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it
was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down
at the lake by our house!

Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All
of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a
muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from
biting again.

Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and
he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight.

Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch.
I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them.

After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got
up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there,
limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.

Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went
back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly,
the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again.

I guess eels are like cats- they have nine lives or something. This time,
Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute
struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw
Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet."

[strakt]

I lol'd.

[YPrrrr]

WTF?

Then I lol'd navi;

[Title27GT]

I caimd.

[Samus Aran]

I think there's about 50 different variants of this one, most of which I heard when I was in 4th and 5th grade.

[Wrench]

Old story is old.

[Daddy]

I think there's about 50 different variants of this one, most of which I heard when I was in 4th and 5th grade.

I remember hearing it then too.  navi;