My girl broke up with me

[Title27GT]

 

Alright this is what happened:
I got my first blowjob in 6th grade when I still lived in Connecticut.
I Was 12, and so was the girl. It was at the lamest makeout party ever, no one was even making out. I asked a girl if she actually wanted to makeout and she said sure and eventually I got up the courage to ask to see her tits which were like C (most girls that age don't even have any). She said OK as long as she saw my dick. She started to jerk me off and then started to suck. She didn't know that sperming occurred so she got a pleasant surprise in her mouth.
After that, I was no stranger to doing stuff with girls.

It was hard to get a girlfriend the first year I lived here because a lot of the people in my neighborhood were asian. this year, though, it's not so hard because most of the people in Downtown Manhattan are mega-rich white girls.
Anyways, this girl was BANGIN'. I'm talking 5'5, super tan, dark redish brown hair, huge tits.
So about the first month after we started dating I was getting blowjobs on a regular basis. BLOWJOBS, SOMETIMES INVOLVING SWALLOWING. Anyways, one day my friend told me that she liked another guy during baseball practice and I was like aww hellz naw. So I asked her about it, and she got all pissed like I didn't trust her. So she said "If you can't trust me, then I can't go out with you."

Like 10 minutes ago, she walked out of my apartment, got in her car, and drove away.

[Hyper]

shut the fuck up

[Title27GT]

shut the fuck up

k cool

[The artist formally known]

God damn it, I almost believed that bullshit

[Samus Aran]

You're not funny.

[Title27GT]

God damn it, I almost believed that bullshit

I swear to god.
Did you read my life story?
Auburn, one of our newest members, can speak for every word of that. Hell, he knew the girl.

You're not funny.

I'M NOT LYING DAMNIT.

[The artist formally known]

You're not funny.

I actually believed it

But then again I'm drinking a delicious margarita 

[Hyper]

please god, ban this guy

[Title27GT]

please god, ban this guy

why?
what the fuck did I do?

[Commander Fuckass]

please god, ban this guy

Talk to Buddha.

[Samus Aran]

I'M NOT LYING DAMNIT.

If you were telling the truth, you wouldn't give us bullshit about your first blowjob and the details entailing it. Unless of course, that's all you cared about when it came to her. If that is so...then consider any respect I had for you gone.

[Title27GT]

If you were telling the truth, you wouldn't give us bullshit about your first blowjob and the details entailing it. Unless of course, that's all you cared about when it came to her. If that is so...then consider any respect I had for you gone.

I TOLD YOU SO THAT YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS THE FIRST ACTION I HAD EVER GOTTEN.

I DIDN'T ONLY CARE ABOUT BLOWJOBS, DAMNIT, I'M NOT THAT SHALLOW, IF THAT'S ALL I CARED ABOUT I WOULD'VE BROKEN UP WITH HER.

In fact, we were planning on applying to the same college next year, that's how serious it was.

[Feynman]

Get a damn life.

[Title27GT]

Get a damn life.

Mine just walked out the door 

[Tomboh]

I stopped reading at "My girl".