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Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable

Started by Daddy, July 28, 2007, 08:26:30 PM

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Daddy

July 28, 2007, 08:26:30 PM
QuoteWASHINGTON, DCĆ¢ā,¬ā€The Environmental Protection Agency issued a bulletin Tuesday warning the bodies of American citizens, with their large concentrations of artificial, synthetic, and often toxic substances, have been reclassified as industrial waste.

"The average human body is now only 35 percent organic," EPA chief Ralph Johnson said. "Due to changes brought about by modern detergents, silicone implants, and processed cheese food product, it is no longer safe to allow human tissue to come into contact with our nation's topsoil."

Johnson said the EPA is seeking funding to construct a massive, federally managed human-body containment facility in the Mojave Desert to safely and viably store human remains.



http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/epa_warns_human_beings_no




That's pretty disgusting if you can consider that we no longer naturally decompose.

Feynman

July 28, 2007, 08:27:38 PM #1
i want to eet myself

Kalahari Inkantation

July 28, 2007, 08:28:23 PM #2
...What the fuck? Now I can't have a decent burial? psyduck;

Daddy

July 28, 2007, 08:28:34 PM #3
Quote from: Bassir on July 28, 2007, 08:27:38 PM
i want to eet myself
Why can't we ever have a good topic without it being in serious discussion?

ncba93ivyase

July 28, 2007, 08:29:04 PM #4
Quote from: JMV290 on July 28, 2007, 08:26:30 PM
theonion
Weekly World News writes more believable stories.

Actually, WWN just had this featured in one of their papers, though it was about human bodies being dangerous to fish. psyduck;

Quote from: ncba93ivyase on June 18, 2014, 07:58:34 PMthis isa great post i will use it in my sig

Kalahari Inkantation

July 28, 2007, 08:29:44 PM #5
Quote from: Lawlz on July 28, 2007, 08:29:04 PM
Weekly World News writes more believable stories.

Actually, WWN just had this featured in one of their papers, though it was about human bodies being dangerous to fish. psyduck;

So it's fake?
Thank God.

ncba93ivyase

July 28, 2007, 08:30:01 PM #6
Quote from: Anakin Skywalker on July 28, 2007, 08:29:44 PM
So it's fake?
Thank God.
...You believe The Onion?

Quote from: ncba93ivyase on June 18, 2014, 07:58:34 PMthis isa great post i will use it in my sig

Daddy

July 28, 2007, 08:30:58 PM #7
Quote from: Lawlz on July 28, 2007, 08:29:04 PM
Weekly World News writes more believable stories.

Actually, WWN just had this featured in one of their papers, though it was about human bodies being dangerous to fish. psyduck;
lol y u ruin it

Kalahari Inkantation

July 28, 2007, 08:31:16 PM #8
Quote from: Lawlz on July 28, 2007, 08:30:01 PM
...You believe The Onion?

Uh, I didn't know of a website called The Onion until today. psyduck;

Feynman

July 28, 2007, 08:31:37 PM #9
Quote from: JMV290 on July 28, 2007, 08:28:34 PM
Why can't we ever have a good topic without it being in serious discussion?


Because this topic sucks.

Kalahari Inkantation

July 28, 2007, 08:31:44 PM #10

Hyper

July 28, 2007, 08:32:11 PM #11
i don't have silicon boobs

Daddy

July 28, 2007, 08:32:40 PM #12
Quote from: Bassir on July 28, 2007, 08:31:37 PM
Because this topic sucks.
cuz lawlz ruin it

Kalahari Inkantation

July 28, 2007, 08:33:00 PM #13
Quote from: Hyper on July 28, 2007, 08:32:11 PM
i don't have silicon boobs

u prolly hav a silicon dik tho
lol

Feynman

July 28, 2007, 08:34:00 PM #14
Quote from: JMV290 on July 28, 2007, 08:32:40 PM
cuz lawlz ruin it


I don't read the news unless it's in the form of a video with Anderson Cooper in it. spam;
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