Depression

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

Has anyone been "diagnosed" with depression? how do you cope with it? Are you on medication?

It's constantly an uphill battle to just try and get through the day. The most random things trigger it too, like today I read a tumblr post by stranger and all of a sudden I felt really lonely. I'm finding that during the day I don't really have these spats of depression, it's mostly at night when I'm by myself.  Things start to spiral and then next thing I know I just feel really empty inside. I've tried a few things in the past, including Prozac. Anti depressants make me feel autonomous, like I'm just on auto-pilot in life and I loathed it. Sure, I didn't feel the hopelessness anymore, but it seemed harder to take joy in the small things I used to love.

I've made progress though. I've eliminated fast food from my diet as I've heard that your diet affects your mind as well as your body. It makes sense, if you eat shit you'll feel like shit.

Also, I'm not sure if this is a byproduct of depression, but it seems like I'm more bitter than most people around me. Like it's hard for me to get over things that I should be over. Therapy is something that has been mentioned to me, and I don't really think it's a bad idea. It's just hard for me to talk to a complete stranger about anything, and it would be super intense to try and talk to a stranger about stressful things.

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

also i wasn't sure if this belonged here or somewhere else as I'm confused about things and tired.

[snoorkel]

I definitely used to be depressed, I felt like I was forcing myself through a thick sludge every day just to make a normal appearance for people.

The easy things I tried that worked were controlling my diet, exercising regularly, and regulating my sleep habits like a normal person. Those things really do make a difference. I also tried taking St. John's Wort for awhile, and I'm pretty sure I actually noticed some subtle (and natural) mood-lifting effects from it.

I had all kinds of theories about why I was depressed, involving monoamine levels and genetic inheritances and being stuck in stupid parts of my life (mainly high school, which probably was the reason). Where monoamines are concerned, 5-HTP supplements for serotonin production would definitely be worth trying just to note the effect. Multi-vitamins and eating lots of fruits/vegetables are also crucial for mood chemical production. Taking supplements won't magically alleviate all symptoms of depression, obviously, but you do have to start with your body to make headway. 

In general, I just tried to spend most of my time deflecting the little drive and interest I had into external things, to avoid getting too deep inside my head, acknowledging that I was just kind of fucked for the moment and carrying on as best I could... I spent many days curating my iTunes library or reading fiction, then.

If the problem isn't that you're stuck in circumstances, then the best thing I can recommend is just to divorce yourself from your surroundings and change your environment... go and live anywhere but where you are (money allowing). Make leaving a goal, plan for it, and start getting excited for it.

Things will look up, they always do. 

also i wasn't sure if this belonged here or somewhere else as I'm confused about things and tired.

I think this is the best board for it. Offline Discussion probably would have been fine too, but I assume you're looking for serious answers...

[YPrrrr]

I don't know if I was "diagnosed" with depression, but I went through several therapists and anger management specialists... none of them very helpful. A neurologist also tried to prescribe me anti-depressant pills but I refused them because I feel like it's something that shouldn't be "solved" with a pill.

But yeah some days I'll just randomly get incredibly sad and feel as though I'm going nowhere, that no one actually likes me, that everything is pointless, and that I'm a huge disappointment to everyone. Nothing necessarily sets this off but I hate how alone I feel sometimes even after just hanging out with friends.

It is managed much better now since I have found great friends who I can trust with my emotions. I usually just bullshit everyone and avoid saying how I really feel but it is a wonderful release to finally get some things off of my chest. When my dad was at war I didn't have that and that's probably the root of my depression and anger problems

[LCK]

Depression is an oh-so-common staple within my family. I grew up around my mother being depressed, and having many spastic episodes as a result of the depression.

At a young age I was very impressionable, and I grew accustomed to the ways she acted, how she felt, things she did, and I felt like I had reason to be sad and/or depressed also. There were times when I knew I was just looking for a reason to be depressed.
When I was 15 I was officially diagnosed with depression and underlying anger (wut). That was right after my dad's death, and there was a lot of difficulty differentiating whether or not it was really depression, or simply just grieving. I went through a few therapists. It was nice having someone to talk to like that, but overall I feel like seeing these "professionals" made the situation worse. I had many breakdowns.
Even 4 years after the diagnosis, I'm unsure of whether or not I would still be officially declared as depressed, but I still have many ups and downs. The most miniscule things may ruin my day and I'll end up spending the day moping and self loathing. I try to be self-aware, but it doesn't always help. I surely still have many symptoms from the depression.

[Socks]

I don't believe in depression. I feel the way I feel because that is how my life is. There is coping, there is changing, and there is living. Being upset, brings meaning to everything. But when you reduce everything down to a known feature of the self, you just have to get by.

[piano moths]

My dad is diagnosed with depression and I think it is stupid. Not that I think it's stupid it is sad I just feel like he got a lot worse when he starting thinking his sadness could be cured with medication. Because he is just sad because he doesn't do anything but sit in his room with the blinds closed all day.
Sometimes I get sad but I try to remember the best thing to do is not to sit in my room and is to go do something even if I don't have something to do or try to make something or read or something and not get caught up. I just think that people are capable of taking care of their own sadness or loneliness or anxieties. I'm pretty sure sadness comes from expectations of how things should be or attachments to how they once were. If people do their best not to be craving & clinging I think depression will get better.

[Hippopo]

I was diagnosed with depression by a fucking dermatologist three months after I came out of the closet. I broke down in his office, and we had a heart-to-heart.  Then he prescribed me antidepressants, and I never saw him again.

The antidepressants sucked.  I didn't like being dependent on something, and I thought I could fight the depression on my own.  So I went off of them cold turkey (probably not a good idea).

It took me about a year and a half to really get over it.  It really helped to find a hobby to distract me, and to give me something to do.  Plus it boosted my self-confidence.  It also helps to actively reverse any negative thoughts with positive, and to take a few minutes out of your day devoted to just positive thoughts.  This is harder than it sounds, but it works.

I would say I'm the happiest I've been in a very very long time, and I still do my positive thought exercises daily.  Once in the morning and once before I go to bed.  It helps. really.

[??????]

My father coped with his depression with alcohol and my mother--well, she had numerous methods to cope, but none of them were positive.

With mines (lolol diagnosed as bipolar, then re-diagnosed as cyclothymic) I just get short, saddening feelings that basks my perspective in a darkened hue. It gravitates a lot of negative feedbacks that are stored inside my memories, silently haunting me until it's ready for them to rewind and repeat themselves until my cognition becomes fragmented and fused with pure self-hatred. I sink like lead inside of myself, and these deadening scenarios start to bleed out from my unconscious, forcing me to accept that it was "my fault". I guess, depression is when everything seems like it was "your fault".

This is one type of my 'depression'
The other type affects my body more than my actual moods. It just strikes me and my body becomes very lethargic, borderline catatonic--I just don't give a care anymore! Or, I probably lack cognition to give a care anymore, either way--I sink and eating or cleaning or keeping myself alive seems like they're miles away from my hands. Time becomes unrecognizable, and sleep becomes non-existent (insomnia, usually for me). Phone calls seem like heavy burdens, moving around the room exhausts you so much, thinking about tomorrow becomes a riddle. Everything just seems so far and so distant, and so large and huge.

I try to be self-aware to get rid of irrationality, but it always backlashes and mutates into some sort of existential crisis.
Eating healthy didn't really work that well, especially when chewing food just repulsed me to no end.
Exercise, hmm--this was the only thing that moderately worked. Sure, I felt empty afterwards, but I didn't feel like crying.

I guess most of this *is*, some way or another, self-imposed. I'm literally addicted to my own suffering--it brings new thoughts and new ideas! But, I can't really control it that well, and I get lost in the maddening sea of my own insecurity.
And it always worries someone because the line between me controlling my depression and depression controlling me fades really quick.

lol despite of all of this i do get really energetic and i 'snap' out of my sadness with a zesty burst of joy
unfortunately it pisses off a lot of people and causes a lot of fights
and i'm so goddamn misunderstood
i don't go on meds for it, i'm very afraid it'd take away my natural 'highs'

[Daddy]

My doctor put me on antidepressants for anxiety disorder lol. 

I overdosed because they made me depressed.  I was diagnosed with "general depression" after that but lol fuck that.


I'm fine now but ever since the antidepressants I feel like I haven't been able to focus on things for as long as I used to (as in keeping interest so I haven't bothered with much programmings ).

[Socks]

I see a correlation between 'problems' and 'doctors', 'treatment' and 'big pharma'.

[PLEASEHELP1991]

I see a correlation between 'problems' and 'doctors', 'treatment' and 'big pharma'.

Hence why I don't initiate antidepressants prescribed by someone who isn't heavily trained in psychiatry.
I've had a formal diagnosis of "major depressive disorder," but I think my problems are more heavily rooted than that.
I've been considering initiating cognitive-behavioural therapy twice weekly as fortunately it is covered by my insurance to discover the roots of my depression and uncover the traumatic repressed memories that serve to relapse me into deeper lows.

[snoorkel]

I see a correlation between 'problems' and 'doctors', 'treatment' and 'big pharma'.

I couldn't agree more...

[Daddy]

Maybe we should just outlaw marketing of prescription medication to patients who have no medical knowledge.

[Samus Aran]

I'm pretty sure I've been in some state of depression on and off ever since breaking up with Hensa. Never diagnosed, though.