Here's a mystery

[Mando Pandango]

A little while back I was dealing with this horrid RASH all over my PUBIC AREA. And I said DAMN WHAT IS MAKING MY DICK PERIPHERY all RED and ITCHY? It's not like I've been STICKING MY DICK ANYWHERE except maybe my hand every once in a while. I mean it's BEEN A MINUTE, that's all. So I switched out the tide pods for the skin-safe pods but they were STILL MAKING MY PUBUS into a BUMPY, SCATHING HELLSCAPE. The package said it was supposed to be allergen-free but I guess it was WRONG because from there I went to the ALL-NATURAL LIQUID DETERGENT and oh look at that my DICK MOUND is all better now! Guess those fuckers at TIDE are a BUNCH OF LIARS.

End of story, right?

WRONG.

Now this one specific part of MY ASS is still ITCHING. I put cream on it but it STILL ITCHES. I wash my CLOTHES in the special detergent. I wash my SHEETS in the special detergent. And still, my RIGHT BUTTCHEEK IS SILLY. About an inch right of center just below the waistband, about a 1-inch diameter spot.

What is the cause?

WHY WOULD NATURE DO THIS TO ME

[C.Mongler]

bed bugs

[Mando Pandango]

on just that one part of my ass?

[C.Mongler]

hey man i aint gonna speak for them bugs and their interests, u gotta ask them

[ME##]

Yeast infection matey

[Mando Pandango]

ON MY ASS?

[strongbad]

sounds like sepsis

[tommy_on_ice]

cum

[C.Mongler]

if u want a semi serious answer, could it be monkeypox? i know its commonly being touted as a gay STI, but its definitely transmissible without being a powerbottom lol

[Mando Pandango]

I'm offended at your insinuation that I am not a power bottom.

[C.Mongler]

oh, well then its probably just monkeypox

[YPrrrr]

Maybe you developed an allergy to latex? It could be the elastic in your underwear causing a reaction